will he ever come back? (Page 2)

Tiki33 and saggigoat, you girls are spot on. I can imagine what this Cappy lad is thinking now. He is probably thinking, this girl is nutty, how I can lose this girl? That is what I would be thinking if I were he.

I mean I can't really describe everything..some things were at his fault. U can't blame it all on me, it would take pages to tell everything, I just mentioned most remarkable things that made us apart. No one can really understand me, I should be nuts possibly. Its already been 2 days, I still haven't gotten a call. I'm not sure if I should call or just let it go this time. I'm confused obviously. Sure who would want a girl like me? I haven't been on a date for a looong time, ill make it 5 more years without having someone on a side n cuddling n having great convos or having a possibly most amazing sex on the planet 🙂

Thanks to all, that's just true. He's just probably fucking that girl he's with in the pics. Sorry for bad language, but I really need to let myself out, I'm facing it the way reality is n u all know it, I'm sure some of you had went through the same experience. Ah how I really feel now is I wanna punch myself, but punch him too n that is way harder. He shouldn't of called me at all n told me hell call. That's more like a game I'm facing ahh. I'm an idiot! 😢 I feel like I should tell him next time that I was drunk n sent him msg accidentally. That would be a cold shower in his face too hah. If anyone wonders why I'm pissed well I saw his new pics with another girl on myspace. Sure he has all right to move on, but its not against the law for me to be jealous, n angry n feeling worthless n stupid.

I'm really not ok. And no, I wouldn't ask him for help. We haven't kept a contact for 6 months n well that would be just ridiculous of what else I can do. I don't want him to think I want him to hold me to stay. Ah I think he's really serious with that girl and I have such a strong feeling they're getting married, I saw his name on the website n her name with his last name like they'd be using one account, n he changed it just yesterday. Ah I really shouldn't of said anything, he's happy with her. It was really the biggest mistake I made. And I just can't believe but how everything I said n thought earlier that he will marry her, is becoming possibly true. Its funny how we attract our greatest fears. I always had that sense of what will happen later. This is really too much, I wish I could go out somewhere n forget all the pain. I rather him to hate me than to feel sorry for me. Cuz I'm way stronger than this, I just need to get out of this mess in my life n start a new life. That telling me hell call me later was nothing but his not knowing how to finish the conversation, obviously what else could he have said. Its good I didn't ask him anything cuz I bet I would have gotten the answers I don't want to hear.

Thank you sagigoat, I really appreciate that you were being easy with your responses. Well, self pride and dishonesty are basic factors that will kill love n I always wanted to tell him but something was blocking me inside, its the fear of showing emotions, of appearing weak n giving permission for someone to take adventage of you. I guess he knew it too that we won't end up together, cuz one time he asked me if ill tell my grandchildren about him. I thought it was silly or he was manipulating me but I guess it was not meant to be for us.