CAP man talks of suicide

He claims being in depression. He says, he will write me a letter, commit suicide, and I can read his letter after he is done with it.


I don't know why he talks like that... 😢

He mentions depression quite often lately. I'm very worried. I don't know what to do.

Thank you for responding, Beautiful.

He is more than a friend, I have a relation with him. He keeps on asking me to come over and visit him, but I'm busy and working for an exam for tomorrow. What bothers me is that this happened to me before in the past. As you said, the person who does it never mentions. And that is what happened to my then boyfriend. He sought help from a physician. Started on antidepressants, but in a matter of a week, it was sudden. I didn't see it coming and he did it -- he was gone.


Now with CAP man I told him I will be over tomorrow after the exam and we can do things together. In the meantime if he wants to talk, we can do so. But now he refuses to talk. I don't know what's happening.

He is not the type who would accept therapy. I don't know.. I will need to see tomorrow.

You sure do know how to pick them fum.

"is this the same guy who you said wanted to sell your breasts on the other thread?"

Yes cappy -- that's him, but he was just joking. It's a cultural thing.... I know, not the most elegant joke to make.


LadyM & leokitten -- I care for sex with someone I'm attracted to. He is sweet, very clean, lotsa emotion, affection and stamina. I don't want to marry him, but how can you predict something like this?

"I think caps are more likely to go around complaining about how they want to die because everything is bad in their world, than actually do it."

Agreed they are pessimists and many also perfectionists. Be firm with him and tell him you'll be there for him after your exam

I think caps are more likely to go around complaining about how they want to die because everything is bad in their world, than actually do it.


agreed as I have experienced this - the first time, it's shocking, the next time, it's like 'ok do it already!' but with some people I notice pride get in the way of actually admitting to needing help. So should be taken seriously on some level - but you have to watch out for this ---> .. if he is using it as a bait/ threat for emotional manipulation,, or if it is genuine depression

He claims being in depression. He says, he will write me a letter, commit suicide, and I can read his letter after he is done with it.

OMG! Okay, this is where being a really proactive friend comes into play here. The fact he wants to write laters suggests that he beyond depression.

Has something really crazy gone on in his life to make him feel this way?

It sounds like manipulation, I agree with Ms.Pisces, your best bet is to hand him a name and number to a therapist/counselor and call it a day, these kind of people will drain you dry, I had a guy play the oh I'm so depressed card and I burnt up plenty of time and energy pep talking and helping him lick his pity-ful wounds, he's still walking around, still depressed when it's convienant for him to be depressed and he's still playing on womens heart strings....

Oh and the next time he plays that I'm suicidal card, call 911, I'm sure you won't hear from him again after being embarrassed by being questioned by the police and ambulance tech's.

Give him a HARD SLAP and tell him to get a grip !!
Someone did that to me once!
and it worked 🙂

Capricorns can sink lower into depression than other signs.
They almost have to hit Rockbottom before they realise it!
Been There Done That.

lol

Thank you all for your responses. I much appreciate it, because I take this very seriously and wanted to give an update.

That night I didn't hear from him, which meant good and bad. Bad for I was very worried, but good that I know by know his silence before I visit him and he knows I will come, means usually good. I think he gets into this waiting mode. So deadlines, it seems, work well for mr. CAP.

He looked pretty shitty when I walked into his apartment (sorry for the language), but I could see from his face that he had cried the night before. I know his problems. He cares very much for his parents' well-being and feels helpless that he cannot help them at this time. He has been ignoring his mother for the past 4 months because he cannot stand her crying on the phone. He just lost his job a little over a month ago and all he does is investigate the political situations in his region and he looks for business opportunities. He has been interrogated and tortured by police in the past. He has been through life most people would only hear in the news and we cannot imagine the depth of wounds this can leave in a person. He wants to start up a business, but nothing happens over night and I can sympathize with his impatience.

I think his downfall is that he continuously reads about these happenings in his region. He shows me photos of dead/burned people. He shows me photos of people in poverty and their houses invaded/bombed. He shows me pictures of undernourished children picking up crumbs of bread from the ground; all those are taken in the region he comes from.

Then he shows me the flora and animals of his regions. ?Look Fum..?, he says ?aren't they beautiful??. The government has put up signs in the wild * Protect our forests and wildlife *. How ironic, he says. The army is the one killing those animals. We can't enjoy being out on the mountains, breathing the fresh air and enjoying beautiful nature, because there is war.

So no, he is not trying to manipulate me. He just feels insecure at times. He actually has quite some strong personality, which I can't but admire.

Something happened while I was there visiting him. I was checking my email. I had mentioned to a very dear friend about CAP man, for which I had received a response. CAP man caught me closing up the window on the screen when he was coming closer and was suspicious of my action. His past cheating ex girlfriend makes him distrust women. After a heated debate and when things started turning sour, I agreed to show him the email that was about him and not some ?other? guy.

To my surprise, his trust changed towards me. I think that was proof for him that when I say that I can only be with one man at a time is the truth.


So that's the latest. He sounds happy for now, but I sure will follow up on those downtimes he may get himself into. I will investigate of what can be done. I do take suicide comments seriously.

I also agree with DOGS when he says that HARD SLAP can work for him.

Thank you all very much.

Fume he's ridiculous and your to easy which is very unattractitve, this guy will not respect you and appreciate you once he's done having you jump through his hoops, he is running game on you and YES some use the I'm suicidal card and the I'm terminally ill card, I have cancer card, if you continue to jump to his whims you will be stuck with an insecure capricorn that needs PROOF that you care and then you will exhaust yourself proving that you care and have his best interest at heart, do you really want a man that is this manipulative? If you do then good luck, your going to need all the luck in the world to be in this clowns life.

From my knowledge people that commit suicide will not even talk about it, they will just do it, the people that talk about it are crying out for help and attention which means you need to allow him some space and encourage him to get professional help...I have a cap guy friend and all I have to do is say hey man up, snap out of it, stop being a girl and he will laugh and move on, don't enable this guys fears by being so emotionally easy and concerned, take his fears seriously but don't be owned by them.

I know people that have committed suicide or attempted and no one knew that it was about to happen, there is a lot of shame and pain when it comes to taking ones life, I'm not debating on whether this guy is serious or not, given fumes history with men I'm error on the side of caution and saying this may be his way of manipulating her, I have dated a guy that cried wolf for attention and yes I took him serious and yes I was there to support him but in the end it was one of many of his ways to manipulate, if this man is in grief over someone passing then of course I'm sure he's grieving and the best way to deal with that is to give him or take him to grief counseling and provide him with suicide hotline numbers as well, there are professionals that are trained to pull him through those rough traumatic times.

His family is still in that country, cappy.

We were watching comedy movies last night online. I did comment earlier that continuously reading those news induce negative emotions in him or could do to anybody. That was to bring awareness to his moods. Yesterday he chose to watch something funny with me. I love seeing him happy. We were laughing so much.


But we do get into these occasional oppositions. We are at a stage, when we both take offence easily from each other, but he is quick to react and I am not used to such reaction. I am used to virgo man. I find his intensity can be exciting; I love his emotions. However, I don't know how to function with him yet without losing my identity. I do want to be a good friend to him, but it's up in the air for now.

So as much as I take his suicide comment seriously, I also believe it is an overstatement to his current moods. I am watchful. I can't offer him to get help at this stage, but I will attempt when face-to-face. He takes offense very easily.

LOL@loser

Ding Ding

cappy -- I very much appreciate your posts. Some people here just think they have it all figured out. Perhaps they are just bored. You and I know that life is well worth the effort...

hugs, sweetheart. And thank you. 🙂

I'm sorry Fum, but why is he unburdening on you? I mean how well do you know him? what does he want from you? does he have other outlets?

Zen -- after seeing your post yesterday and I was about to reply, suddenly it occured to me that I had not heard from CAP man for the 3rd day. I was dismissing him as he ignored contacting me on Valentines. Not that these type of days should be taken too seriously, but it turned out to be symbolic.


I had woken up with a nightmare. Only after reading your post, did it occur to me that something else might be in works for his silence.

*how well do I know him?*
*what does he want from me?*

I thought, oh my goawd... I didn't hear from him and was expecting the worse what if he has done something to himself?.... panic set in. I quickly dressed and started calling him continuously. No response. I prayed that history won't repeat that is when I was very young my boyfriend hung himself very unexpectedly. Why me God? Please do not do this to me again... plz...

on my way to his place I was crying and telling myself to keep my cool... pretty hard to do when your imagination starts going wild and you imagine you will find him dead in his apartment.

I reached his place. The door was locked. I was pounding on his window and shouting out his name. I thought even if neighbours call the police, I will risk this. He has no family here. What if he is gone for days now?


I succeeded in opening his window. Pushed the blinds aside, he was looking at me with a surprised look. He had just woken up. I said, don't do this to me again by talking about suicide, I was worried to death when I didn't hear from you. I saw a nightmare...

This is so unusual for me. It is a first I've ever done such thing. I don't do these type of things, but something in me brought me out of my element.

He invited me into his bed. He said, I'm tired... Come! We fell asleep in each other's arms.

I said to him, CAP.. I'm sorry for showing up like this but I did call you many times and I was very worried. Didn't you hear me ring? He said, No. He took his phone and was checking on my calls. While he was checking, I saw he had received multiple calls the night of Valentines. A few calls were past 12 am in the night and a couple in the morning around 4-5 am. I asked, who is this person?

Long story short... it sure was a woman. He went out dancing that night. I said, oh.. so you ignored me. I received so many messages from friends but not a single one from you. He said that woman doesn't mean anything. I can call her and ask what her relation is with me. I said, I'm not confronting women... YOU will tell me!

He said, NO! I don't have a relation with her and I did not have sex.

He said that he thought I have a crush on him and he didn't like the idea of valentines. So he made sure that he kept me out of Valentines Day (The Day for Lovers!).

I said, CAP.. I value you. I care for you, but I am not in love with you. AND I'm not considering on marrying again.

He wanted me to stay and continue sleeping.

Uhm... Sorry—? I'm not doing that again. Virgo male played enough games... am not allowing myself to be treated this way again. Even not as eff buddy or friend, or whatever... I am loyal to the bone when I am with someone. Let me out of the picture and then do whatever you wish. (I haven't said any of this, of course)


I just got up and walked out....

Anyway.. I don't get it. If he is going to be player, why not play it right? Fool me with Valentines Wishes AND go dancing with another gal—

That is what I do not get.

lol

wow Fum, you get entangled fairly quickly!

What do you think you do to encourage attracting these ...well, can't really put my hand on it?

?wow Fum, you get entangled fairly quickly!?

*********
First, we know each other a little longer than it may sound. Although how would you define as **knowing someone **?

He had first contacted me last year in April. When things ended with Virgo end of July 08, I agreed to meet him. When things started back working with Virgo, there was no contact until October when things completely ended with Virgo. We had just written each other a few lines here and there. Since October we have been in verbal contact. I left country for a month in November to recuperate from Virgo man and his ex scorp came back into the picture. It was an "in" and "out" thing with his ex scorp. Apparently, she had love bruises around her body by another man. She came to see him right out of the other guy's arms. Later she confessed it, and it was over. December we heavily chatted for hours and hours each time. January 3 we met in person and were pretty much in contact every second day.

I know... it doesn't sound long, but everything seemed right to make the first step with another man after Virgo. There were other men, but I did not want any of them to touch me. He had the right combination. For him I was the first after his scorp and we had the properties to HEAL each other. I could sense his passion and strength. 🙂

?What do you think you do to encourage attracting these ...?

***********
I think we can be magnet to a man first through our eyes. I think the guy senses some kind of adrenalin from our inner world. So I play pretty much low-key meeting anyone not to provoke more than I'm willing to give. However in return, we usually pick the undercurrents in a man rather than the outer fa?ade he tries to reflect. Something can draw him to us. I guess we pick the drama? I don't know..

The problem is a scorp's intensity... also in love making that is. Not everyone gets to see that side of us. So the person experiencing our intensity gets allured by it, but also feels threatened.

Then comes the love making to our partner we choose. We merge beyond ourselves to him. We lose ourselves in our partner. He likes it at first, but then he starts misinterpreting.

So it's never really a lightweight fling. At least not with me, because I do care for the person I'm with.

The problem is a scorp's intensity

mmm, I see the side of this too - so does that make you seek complicated relations? I mean how will you feel about a very smooth relationship where the intensity is well, not really necessary? Is this possibly for scorps?

Don't mind my 50-50, just trying to understand a little better because I could never understand this with my scorp friends or family, they seemed to attract very complicated relations... even I can't have a scorp friend for long --- our intensities are for very different pursuits 😕 so sooner of later, my loyalties are questioned 😉

" so does that make you seek complicated relations?"

I wouldn't call it *complicated*, to me we seek *meaningful* relationships. I don't believe there is nothing that is not complicated, but we sure can simplify it. So even the most goofy person has a story to tell and that is the more fascinating side to any kind of relationship. When you bring that out in a person, it does turn more complex than it initially appeared.

--------

"how will you feel about a very smooth relationship where the intensity is well, not really necessary?"

I don't know the answer to that question. I am utterly bored by superficiality... I feel lost and have nothing to contribute. I can get silly but not continuously.

My relation with Virgo man felt pretty smooth except for the problems he created. We never argued; we never yelled at each other like some fighting couples with the end of their voices. We had a few disagreements but it felt pretty smooth. I think it was so smooth that V-man started not feeling the challange anymore until of course when I wanted to turn the relation into something serious -- then he disappeared. Other than that, I need my peace. I can't stand disagreements as it affects me quite deeply.

Just to give a small example.. perhaps it's not such a good example but when I pointed out CAP the phone calls by this woman and he was trying to convince me that she wasn't someone I thought she was. I said "CAP man, no casual/business related person will call you after-hours and every 15 minutes".

He didn't know how to answer that and attempted to throw his phone to show his anger. I looked at him and spoke with a calm voice by taking his phone from his hand slowly "don't throw it, CAP... it will break..". I took it and put it into a safe place.

He calmed down. Looked at me and turned to go back to sleep by pulling me to himself.
----

A lot of text for a tiny example but I don't like unnecessary outbursts.

That's a good example I think but we have very different ways of dealing with that exact scenerio e.g.

- not question his reason for not getting in touch on Val - it's another day in the year to moi
- not drive to his house with that fear because he has been fine most of his life so will continue to be
- not spend the night at his place after that
- not go back into bed after clearly, he was playing with someone else...

---- that would have been my way of avoiding complication... hell, I probably would have high-tailed the second he talked about killing himself, I may have hung around, but strictly as friends only... idk, different POV I guess, 'living it versus hearing about it'

HA HA HA.... zen...

as far as I remember you are aries? My daughter is one and the few best friends I had are aries girls.

Partially it intruiges me that aries can just blurb it out. There are no hidden meanings. She is non-judgemental and accepting. She will just go on with her own business. My daughter baked brownies for her bf on valentines, but she didn't know he was coming. She said if he doesn't, it would be ok because that is how he is. He did come though.. 🙂

I didn't spend the night at his house after that. It was 7 am when I went to his place and he was still sleeping as he was up in the night as usual.

I didn't know he played with someone else when I was in his bed until he checked his phone.

And yeah... I guess it is always easier to assume than when in the situation yourself. I always give people the benefit of the doubt, but once broken it cannot be fixed. Then a while later the guy comes back.. and I sure don't understand that part why he did not appreciate what he had in the beginning.

so it turns out he's a manipulative assclown that needed your sympathy and attention and how did he thank you for nurturing him in his time of need, he went out with someone else on Valentines Day and got some booty to top it off....

Men are not attracted to there mothers, at least not normal men that is why I tell women it is not in her best interest to nurture and listen to a mans problems not if she wants him to be her lover, give him a hotline number, call the local police if needed and hand him a number to a professional counselor/therapist, you can't fix a man PERIOD...

He appreciates you as a friend because you being there made him feel friendship not love....He just doesn't appreciate you as a lover...he comes around because he feels like he never misled you and hopes to remain friends with you, use you as his personal diary to hold all his problems and pep talk him back to happiness when he's feeling down.

I guess he was a manipulative assclown needing attention...

not that he faked his cryings, I believe he felt that way. I'm sure he is justifying his actions now. What can you do when he tells you I feel low.. I don't feel good? I couldn't say go get a helpline. I asked "what's wrong?"... I mean, anybody I would think would do the same in such situation.

He told me he is going for football playing on saturday night.. ha ha ... valentines night... lol.. (am just laughing). And I said to him, if you are trying to fool me in anyway, I will get behind it. So play your cards open it is only fair to me and yourself.


Dumb guy!!

As I said.. if he wants to be a player, then fool me with sweet messages and then go dancing and I will think he is thinking of me while playing his football game. HA HA... But no. He was stupid enough to just ignore me. And then he thinks I will go back into his arms. By not screwing the girl, he thought he is loyal to me.

hah!

oh well.. What I learned from this Sagigoat, I never had a relation with a CAP man before, if it were to work out -- I mean if our "goods" would have been on equal scales, I sure would have liked the relation with CAP man. There is an undescribable friendship potential behind our sexual compatibility. I think CAP/Scorpio has potential to be a great match! We could achieve a lot together.

That's very sweet of your friend, energy. She must care for you more than you know 🙂


CAP man first told me he was playing football on V-night, but admitted later he went dancing. Not that I mind him dancing, but he had multiple phone calls from the same girl on his cell...

I guess she likes you more as a friend then, energy.

Unlike CAP and me, we had a relationship. He told me if he sees me with another man, it will not be good. He wanted to introduce me to his family and friends ...

I guess a full stop helps to make more meaning rather than going on and on. I know in german sentences can be as long as a paragraph, so it's good to be able to keep short.

So you wanted to study physiology or philosophy?

Sometimes it is hard to guess if we will like a course or not. I took a course in linguistics and I didn't enjoy it at all. It was very interesting, but nothing I would want to dwell on.

I've known two Caps to call it quits...in the most horrifying ways.

That's very sad, Scorpgem.

Yesterday we had this discussion with CAP. He told me about someone he knew who called the quits as you named it so appropriately. CAP man added that one needs a very strong will to do such thing. He asked me about this young man from my past and was surprised of his ways when going through a depression, which I had not realized how serious it was back then. He had told me once that he walks around the Island (we used to live on an island) in the night, because he could not sleep. That walk was 18 km (11 miles)!

CAP man was surprised about the state of mind a suicidal person can have. He said the same about this other person he knew had not talked about it prior either. So I think CAP just talked senselessly. When making those comments, he did not realize that it is serious talk. But I did see him crying that night, when we were chatting and CAP's cam was on...