The Original Origin of Elephants

Elephants are grey. They are big. The thing about elephants is that - you?re not going to believe me at all when I tell you this, but I?ll say it anyway - they can talk to the stars. You see, their trunks are actually communication devices which send energy waves into outer space. Aliens pick up these energy waves and translate them into sound waves . . .

Well, that is, the aliens that communicate through sound waves have to do that. Some aliens actually communicate through transmitting energy waves. In fact - and you?re really not going to believe this one either, but I swear it?s all true - elephants are aliens. They come from a small planet which revolved around the sun Beatlejuice.

Now, mind you, I said revolved, past tense. The elephant?s poor planet, which has been classified as B-Igsnowt by an intergalactic explorer from Neptune named Igsnowt when he became the first intergalactic explorer to decide to name the planets revolving around Beatlejuice. There are seven planets revolving around Beatlejuice, so he named them as follows: A-Igsnowt, B-Igsnowt, C-Igsnowt, D-Igsnowt, E-Igsnowt, F-Igsnowt, and G-Igsnowt. The thing about Neptunians is that, although they are very brave when it comes to intergalactic exploration, they have absolutely no imagination.

But anyway, back to my story about the elephants. Well, you see, they got into a little misunderstanding with the race of extraterrestrials which inhabited the planet P-Igsnowt (yes, you guessed it, this was the sixteenth planet that Igsnowt discovered - on a side note, the planet P-Igsnowt was not found like all the other planets through brave daring deep space expeditions, instead Igsnowt found it when he stubbed his toe on it one day). It was apparently over what type of jelly goes best on toast. The elephants like strawberry jelly, but the inhabitants of P-Igsnowt liked marmalade.

The elephants were disgusted. Then a rumor started to get around that the P-Igsnowts were such hogs that they would eat toast with any type of jelly on it. The P- Igsnowts got so angry that they declared war on the elephants. However, neither race had hands, not to mention opposable digits, so hand to hand combat was out. So the P-Igsnowts sent out all their war ships to try and blow up B- Igsnowt. This didn?t work however, because the P-Igsnowt warships are about the size of salmon eggs and their Ultimate Killer Mega Super Death Beam of Destruction (with complete sundering capabilities) was evaporated in B-Igsnowt?s atmosphere.

So instead, the P-Igsnowts bribed Darth Vader to fly the Death star over and blow it up that way.

Fortunately, this gave the inhabitants of B-Igsnowt just the delay they needed to frantically rush to escape pods. These escape pods later landed on Mars, but the Marshians had a population problem, so they formed a settlement operation and moved to Earth, where they have been active citizens ever since.

what do you smoke child?

Only the good stuff, james 😉

muhuhu... she smokes nothing she is addicted to my extra-minty version of tic tacs and all the long days of my talking of elephants have finally brainwashed her!!!

Gwen and morgan in the jungle on the back of a elephant. Rideing high up away from the jungle stuff. Looking good Im thinking thongs , topless I got to stop smokeing this stuff.

I don't know james, riding an elephant in a thong might be a little uncomfortable.

ditto... elephant head/neck area feels like a guy who hasn't shaved for a week. and james you are thinking jane of the jungle and her zebra-horse she rides.

I was not! but you brought it up so I guess i could go for a jane on zebra.

lol ok

I didn't know jungle jane wore a thong... huh, you learn something every day.

actually elephants formed out of my @ $ $ (cha ching)