Cook County Hospital

I have been trying to find away to harm myself bad enough that I can wind up in the hands of Elvis!!! I heard he is working there now and I have tried everything but I just wont go down. (healthy as a horse)....Excessive drinking hasnt done it, I have tried swallowing garbage cans full of acetominiphin, and implementing the same diet as the King, Guess what? It seems to be agreeing with me. I went for a checkup, and my family doctor who is great, he is almost 90 and still practices, when he can find the office, tells me Im lookin pretty good. Oh, well life sucks sometiems, guess I will have to come up with another plan!!! or Maybe I will just to trust in fate and let it all just happen if it is meant to be!

Why don't you fain illness— That way you don't have to try and hurt yourself, and you can go there... You might wind up eventually in another kind of a hospital... but oh well, it's a chance to see the King...

I highly recommend drinking bleach.

If that doesn't do it, try playing on the yellow line.

In fact, drink some bleach and then immediately go play on the yellow line. With a blindfold on. Make sure you don't forget to spray hairspray all over yourself, and light a match.

Now, if there's any possible way you could also do this at night, when visibility is low, that would be optimal.

Or, you could always just check in at the mental hospital...Elvis may not be there, but you're sure to make many new friends just like you.

lol... but if it's at night, the flames will be even brighter and the cars will see it and avoid it!!!

AAA! Good point--definitely don't light yourself on fire at night.

But, definitely light yourself on fire. 🙂

C'mon you guys. Is this just to goof off on Elvis sightings, or are there any REAL sightings ?

Pretty sure it's just to goof off. Where've you seen Elvis?