Does She Like Me

Hello, all. I haven't posted on the DXPNet boards in two and a half years now, but I am back because I have a small issue that I want some insight on.

First, for a little background information, I am a twenty-two-year-old March-born Aries male who has been in a wonderful relationship for 4.5 years with a lovely January-born Aquarius female.

About two months ago, a June-born Gemini female obtained a position at my office and we immediately hit it off just by talking, shooting the shit, etc. She is six years older than me; however, I have noticed that she is fairly immature, so the age difference doesn't seem to be a problem. She has been naturally flirty with me from the get-go, and I feel that, without even realizing it, I've been flirty right back to her. She has also taken to calling me cute little "pet names" and she bugs me all day at work with random emails, etc. about anything and everything under the sun. Said conversations have included stories about her troubled life at home (she still lives with her parents) to issues she has with a couple of boys who keep telling her that they are going to take her out, only to stand her up.

Keep in mind, she knows that I am in a long-term relationship with the aforementioned Aquarius female. After about five or six weeks, she asked me to go to lunch with her and I made up an excuse as to why I couldn't go. She seemed really bummed about that. The following week, I went to lunch with two other female co-workers (who are both married and are both old enough to be my mother). Said Gemini female kind of made a big deal about why I wouldn't go to lunch with her, but that I would go to lunch with the other two.

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Now, me being an Aries male, I am, of course, at this point, loving all of the attention that I am getting from Ms. Gemini. At the same time, I am "Mr. Nice Guy," and I don't want to keep hurting her feelings by continuing to tell her "no" when it comes to going on a little lunch date with her. Of course, a week later, she ended up asking me again and I skated around telling her "no," but thankfully something came up with work and I wasn't able to go on the particular date that she wanted us to go. Of course, then she gets upset again because the very next day, four other co-workers took me out to lunch. I only went because they were treating me to lunch as I am actually leaving for a new company next week and most are sad to see me go. After this lunch, she completely ignored me for the rest of the day and definitely seemed to be "pouting" about it

So then we get to this week, which has been my last full week with the company. She was dead-set on the fact that I would go to lunch with her yesterday, just the two of us. Of course, I can't bring myself to tell her "no," because I don't want to hurt her feelings, because she really is a sweet girl. But I just can't actually go on this lunch with her, just the two of us, because to me, that feels like a "date," and I certainly would go ballistic if my Aquarius lady did something like that to me. Instead of just telling her "no," which I should man up and do, I played along. Then, to get off the hook, a couple of other co-workers arranged to "kidnap" me for lunch, so to speak, and I went with them instead. I guess the third time was the real kicker, because Ms. Gemini was SUPER upset this time. She wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the day and I found out later from a friend of hers at the office, that it even made her cry.

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So there's where we stand now. Again, Tuesday of next week is my final day with this company, although I am just going across the street and will probably be able to come over and run into her again in the near future, but I guess I am at a loss because I am so confused on what is going on right now. I can't tell if me not wanting to tell her "no," is because I'm kind of interested in her as well, only that I am in denial about it, or if I am not wanting to tell her "no" because I am seriously that much of a "nice guy." So I come to the Gemini females of this section (or anybody else for that matter) to please weigh in on my situation and tell me their thoughts on whether Ms. Gem likes me, whether I like her and how I can clear my conscience, because I really don't want to leave the company with her being upset with me. Thanks for reading. I look forward to seeing the responses.

this is a tough one.... there's a good possibility she just likes you as a friend. considering we normally do not flirt with one we have a romantic interest in (just everyone/thing else). she might just feel slighted, as a friend, cuz you have brushed her aside quite a few times. also, if it were me... i would not mess with a guy who is "taken" (

1. She is seeking your attention because A) she is really attracted to you OR B) wants to play mind games with you. Just take into consideration her behavior RE: her previous so called relationships and how she's already divulging her "private life" experiences. MOST people in her situation would not be emailing a co worker of the opposite sex this type of personal information UNLESS they are very insecure and seeking attention.

2. She realizes you are in a serious relationship. So all her games indicate that she doesn't respect you or your situation. People who are mature and have any self respect and dignity don't insert themselves into someone else's love life, especially when the interest isn't being reciprocated.

3. By making her think you're going to go to lunch with her, then always pulling out of it is only going to make her want you more. She needs your attention, and you are actually playing right into her hands.

4. The catch is that after getting shafted a number of times, she is going to start resenting you. Then things could get ugly at your job. I'm not saying this WILL happen, but it's a very good possibility if you let this childish game continue.

5. If this is really such a big deal to you and you're honestly concerned about it, then don't play into her hands anymore. Be frank and honest with her. Tell her you think she's a nice girl to work with but you are in a serious relationship and love your GF. You would prefer to maintain a professional rapport with her, period.

GEMS hate to NOT know what's going on, especially if our actions and emotions aren't being reciprocated. However, MOST of us are mature enough to realize that we don't go after someone who is already taken. That's just wrong and honestly, pathetic.

If you tell her "as a matter of fact" the situation, she will hopefully retreat and let things slide. But like you said, she's immature for her age, so don't expect her to grow up in a week or so. You have to be the bigger person. It all depends on how much you are serious about stopping her agenda OR if you actually enjoy her attention. Ball's in your court.

If it was me I would think whats the big deal with going to lunch with me, see if i knew you were with someone i wouldnt go there any way even if i was attracted to you, i think you need to make it clear if you havent already that you are with someone, I think she will bve ok if you explain, most gemini girls are not interested too long in something they cant have, its a waste of our time and not much fun, for me i do find it hard to understand why we couldnt have a friendship but then again Im disciplined and also aqua moon, most ex`s I can stay friends with and not want to jump into bed with them.

Try it out, maybe its your hang ups about it too, so just be real with her, youre hurting her more this way, she wont be able to move on because you are with holding what youre really thinking so if she does like you she may be holding out for you if she is confused about the messages youre sending, we dont always just go for the obvious sign, we over analyse, we look at things from different angles, all women do but x that by 100.

Posted by gemini64

Thanks for the wonderful insight, gemini64. I feel that there is a lot of truth to what you have said. The biggest issue I'm having is that not only can I not tell how she feels, I can't even tell how I feel myself. As an Aries, I am the most loyal person in the whole world and I love my Aqua female. But I think I am loving the attention Ms. Gem is giving to me, and I think I am loving it so much that I'm smitten with her. The biggest problem I have is that she is a very pretty girl and is exactly my type, as in, if I was single, I would probably be all over her. That might show you the biggest dilemma of all of this. In any event, I definitely appreciate your insight as it seems to have sparked a wonderful conversation in this thread.

Posted by DMsilversoul
If you agreed at first it could have been simple a lunch out.. But you neglet the proposal and she felt kinda of humuliation cause you choosed to go with others.. Now its more emotional, you see it differently.. Its your over reaction fault.
But you have to make up for her

Thank you for your insight, as well, DM. I guess the reason for deciding not to go to lunch with her is because I feel that it would upset my Aqua female that I am in a committed relationship with. I suppose the reason that I feel like this is because I have taken her behavior the last several weeks as meaning she is interested in me. Therefore, if she is interested in me, to take her to lunch would make it more like a date, in my eyes. Maybe that's just my hang-up, and if it is, I guess I just answered my own question about whether or not I have feelings for this Gemini.

Posted by misslissa

misslissa, I appreciate the comments. I've never been into a Gemini female before, so the extremely flirty behavior has caught me completely off-guard. The only reason why it makes me lean even more towards thinking that she's into me is because, from what I can tell, I'm the only one in the office that she flirts with, and there are plenty of other options. It is good to know that Gems typically don't flirt with the one thing they are actually interested in, though. I will definitely keep that in mind! LOL!!

Posted by guccigemini55

Your comments are very insightful as well, gucci. I think you may be right in that I am sending her mixed signals, which is confusing her even more about where our relationship stands. As I've mentioned before, I think the biggest problem here is how conflicted I am over the situation.

Posted by DeeGee
She opened up to him about her personal life in such a short period of time, changed the vibe,(damsel in distress) hence making the relationship/encounter more personal. Mixed with the flirting, would arouse any man..

I think he may be a little smitten with her and is afraid of what might happen.

DeeGee, I think you've hit the nail on the head here. I am so busted. =/

Posted by Gandalf
Gemini64 is a smart dude! I am jealous of you damn Geminis😛

thanks, but not a dude....😉

Posted by DeeGee
You haven't acted on it,, so its all good....I guess when she get's into personal conversations, cut her off at the pass...keep it superficial, eventually she will get the hint...that's if you want to😉

...But...but...but...I kinda like this little game we've been playing. See what I mean...my conflicted feelings are exactly what's wrong!!