Gemini and mental issues

I'm the one who keep posting about the divorce thing. Well, as it turn out, my Gemini's been secretly dealing with mental issues for years. Depression being the main one.
He's been adapting and faking a lot throughout the years. Fake being happy to make me happy, he didn't want to hurt me.

Now, we're talking a therapist to see how he can get the help needed to go back to what he wants. A life with me, being happy.

What is your experience, dear Geminis, with mental issues and getting the help needed?

I know how you feel my gemini woman goes to therapy for her depression

I'm helping him, we go to therapy together and we do all the work needed.
But every time we go, it's getting worst.

He doesn't wanna get a divorce because he doesn't wanna hurt me, but told the therapist he doesn't wanna fuck me anymore, doesn't love me, doesn't want a life with me, yet can't end it completely.

When the therapist ask him to make an effort into saving our marriage, he doesn't see the point, yet can't completely cut the cord.
Tell friends he isn't sure what he wants, but tell the therapist the love is gone

Posted by xy
He's torn between the two (you vs. himself)

Have you talked to him?

Do you want to stay?

Yes, we talk everyday but it's minimal contact. We don't connect as much as before. We did yesterday, for a short moment but it didn't last. He went back to work. I went back to my stuff. He's staying at a friend's until he figure out what he wants.

I do want to stay, I just don't know what to do anymore. He hates talking about me. Yet his friends and family are not helping, constantly asking about us.

Young and unevolved Gems are uncomfortable with emotions and try to suppress the undesirable ones rather than process them. Years of this will lead the Gem to express their feelings in an unrelated manner, often towards unrelated parties who have nothing to do with the core issues. Unless it's unraveled and Gem learns to express their feelings in constructive ways, it can lead to the collapse of marriages, friendships and even careers.

Posted by GG
Sorry that you're going through that. I feel like I've read research that concluded that marriage counseling makes things worst. I've seen it make things worst.

My ideal choice of therapy is hypnotherapy. You get quick results and it gets to the root cause of the problem or issue.

Clinical approach to therapy is good too but I would never take a psych med if they paid me. I would, however, do all natural supplements like fish oil and 5htp. These are all natural and inexpensive.

I'm not familiar with the back story here but I am curious, what's your sign, op?

I'm Capricorn ascend Gemini. I consider myself more a Gemini with a business mind than a boring Cap

Posted by xy
What's the cause of his depression?

It started in high school. He was never the popular kid, always the nerdy dude no one likes to be around because he talks too much. (I love that he always have something to say)
Social anxiety, not many friends. Always alone.
Then, at 19 met a girl with whom he had a son with, that woman ended up ruining his life. Now he's in court just for the right to see his son once a year because she doesn't want to. There's his family who use him, there's him always making bad choices. Being used and sticking to people who don't care rather than people who do. Being played, lied to and such.
Him saying he never had fun in life, wanna be around sluts

Posted by xy

Posted by CarRiderGirl

Posted by xy
He's torn between the two (you vs. himself)

Have you talked to him?

Do you want to stay?

Yes, we talk everyday but it's minimal contact. We don't connect as much as before. We did yesterday, for a short moment but it didn't last. He went back to work. I went back to my stuff. He's staying at a friend's until he figure out what he wants.

I do want to stay, I just don't know what to do anymore. He hates talking about me. Yet his friends and family are not helping, constantly asking about us.

So there's a TINY part on both sides that wants to stay in the relationship.

Is this "down phase" unbearable? Can you two live with it for awhile until all possible solutions are exhausted? What's bothering him?

Have you tried writing to each other?

click to expand

Bothering him: That he's not 100% free to do everything he wants. He wants an open relationship. I said yes, but when it comes to keep some ground rules, he doesn't like them. Anything that's link to respecting me and our marriage, he's against it. He just wants to be free regardless of what's good for our marriage

Posted by xy
How old is he?

What's his Ascendant?

So he doesn't feel alive, just living. He feels that others are in control of his life. He doesn't feel secure and no one supports him. He feels safer to be emotionally detached and be around people that expects less from him.

28 and we don't know his ascendent. His parents are drug addicts who don't remember much about his birth. He's against drugs.

The security thing is BS because I've been doing nothing but support him and give him security. Something he liked for years, but now it's like he's against it completely.

Posted by xy

Posted by CarRiderGirl

Posted by xy
How old is he?

What's his Ascendant?

So he doesn't feel alive, just living. He feels that others are in control of his life. He doesn't feel secure and no one supports him. He feels safer to be emotionally detached and be around people that expects less from him.

28 and we don't know his ascendent. His parents are drug addicts who don't remember much about his birth. He's against drugs.

The security thing is BS because I've been doing nothing but support him and give him security. Something he liked for years, but now it's like he's against it completely.

It's not about you though.

click to expand

I know it's not, and the therapist made it about him. It's his thing, his depression and he's the one in control of everything. I even told him, if you want a divorce, if you don't love me anymore. You'll get it! But at least give it a try to save us. And then all we hear in therapy is how he doesn't know what he wants yet

In all honestly no, I'm not. I'm staying because everything we talked about before our problems, is what I want my life to be.
What he wants his life to be too. Yesterday we had a session with the therapist, and he had to say what he want his dream life to be. Nothing changed, we still want the same things.
But the drama's become too much. Drama his female friends started by attacking me, us, and drama he didn't stop because those female friends are fun and he's willing to deal with the drama rather than losing the fun they provide. Fun being flirty and the sex talk.

Sometimes I just want to divorce, but I know I'm gonna miss him. And he knows that if I leave, it's for good.

Sometimes it is better to let go. If you guys are meant to be you will bomer and back to eachother. You are trying to hold on to something that you need to let go of and you are suffering for it.

Protect your heart. He will be ok he needs to get better by himself you might be hindering it from it just always being by his side.

Be strong enough to put yourself first of you have to force it let it be.

I've became friends with a Gemini for the first time( that I know of) for the last year,, when we first met this person was also going through mental ill( spiritual awakening) I'm a Capricorn, for whatever it's worth, I could relate, we talked a little about it but I feel us meeting helped us both in life. It was like a energy thing, it's a growing experience when we struggle, and if we can help it along in healthy ways it becomes a blessing.

He's depressed because his life isn't what he wants it to be.

This is how to fix that.
Step 1. Figure out want.
Step 2. Set goals.
Step 3. Figure out the obstacles keeping that from you.
Step 4. Remove obstacles or figure out a way around them.
Step 5. Realistically, make a plan in a step by step method to get where you want.
Step 6. Work, work, work toward those goals.

It doesn't happen overnight. And I know I throw out a cap perspective that gemini's may or may not relate to. Also, he may feel in a place where he's helpless or the goals are too big and aren't achievable. But, making a plan and looking at things objectively, without emotion, will help to see how those goals can be met.

If he's not willing to make an effort in his OWN life, whether it's with or without you, then there is nothing you can do for him. All the support and love in the world isn't going to fix him. It's something he will have to do on his own.

I remember this too. They are connected through some Cancer placements if I'm right.

This gathering of Cancer and Gemini placements in a lover reminds me of gathering of Taurus and Gem which I see in Chris Brown and his KT.

It is really hard. I guess there will be an enduring sunset in such cases. But 30 years later everything has another look.

Posted by CarRiderGirl
I'm the one who keep posting about the divorce thing. Well, as it turn out, my Gemini's been secretly dealing with mental issues for years. Depression being the main one.
He's been adapting and faking a lot throughout the years. Fake being happy to make me happy, he didn't want to hurt me.

Now, we're talking a therapist to see how he can get the help needed to go back to what he wants. A life with me, being happy.

What is your experience, dear Geminis, with mental issues and getting the help needed?

Yessssssss...I know that all too well. My gem has mental issues, but I understand him because I have issues too. He's a heavy thinker & he's been through a lot, but he's coming along. He's come a long way.

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I think this gem was tied down too young for too long. If he's 28, you been together 10 years..so he was 18 when he settled down. Maybe he just wants to be free. Most likely that isn't really what he wants, but he won't know that unless he experiences it. Let him free. I bet he'll come back.

But then you gotta figure out if it's ahat you want too. This isn't just his life and it's not fair to expect you to sit around and wait for him.to get his shit together.

I do relate though. I got with my ex pisces when I was 15 and stayed for 7 years. I just felt like what I wanted when I was younger was not what I wanted when I grew up, ya know. I had to test the waters. We played the on and off game for years.I did keep coming back. It becomes so familiar, it's all you know. But just cuz it's comfortable doesn't mean it's right.

You seem to ask for advice and then wander off and make a new thread a week later, not sure if you just disregard all advice or what. But I think you just gotta let go.. set him free

Posted by truecap

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I didn't feel good that my text was depressing too. I thought OP had enough of it. (but now I let it shown without more thoughts.)

Posted by Gobshite
Geminis who lose it are usually the ones who are fighting against their true nature...

Whats their true nature ?