mslibra17
@mslibra17
15 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 9 · Topics: 1
Gemini broke my heart (Libra), help?! :(
He already told you straight out that he wasn't interested and not to contact him. That, coming from a guy regardless of whether or not he is a Gem, is a pretty obvious statement. If he wanted wiggle room, he would have come up with something else and a Gem would surely be able to think of 1000 other options.
Given that, it's time to bail. There must have been something during the argument (right after you decided to be exclusive) that got his spider sense tingling about your character. May not be directly related to whatever you were talking about but something serious enough for him to back off for good.
IMHO, it's going to drive you crazy thinking about it so just call it a day and move on. At this point, it's your ego that's hurting but if you really have feelings for him, you can try the friendship route for a while until he gets comfortable with you again but since he said it plain as day, i'd be more concerned with being more dignified at this point. At least, he will respect how you've handled that situation and could be a start if you want more.
Given that, it's time to bail. There must have been something during the argument (right after you decided to be exclusive) that got his spider sense tingling about your character. May not be directly related to whatever you were talking about but something serious enough for him to back off for good.
IMHO, it's going to drive you crazy thinking about it so just call it a day and move on. At this point, it's your ego that's hurting but if you really have feelings for him, you can try the friendship route for a while until he gets comfortable with you again but since he said it plain as day, i'd be more concerned with being more dignified at this point. At least, he will respect how you've handled that situation and could be a start if you want more.
Thank you for your comments, I appreciate it. Just wanted to add that I wasn't trying to laugh it off in a cruel way when he'd suggest being exclusive. He's significantly younger than me & we would always be out partying, so I guess I was putting my guard up because I didn't know if he was serious or not.
Maybe my ego's bruised, but I honestly feel I liked him a lot and miss him 😢 It's just confusing to me that I thought everything was okay, then 2 days later he wasn't interested anymore. I just feel I'd like him to still in my life, you know? That's why I was asking you Gemini's for advice..can I get him back, at least as friends? Or is he just over it. I read that Libras & Geminis have a good connection, but when Gems leave, it's for good? He was so much fun to be with & there was never a dull moment(in true Gemini fashion).
Thank you again for your help & comments! =)
Maybe my ego's bruised, but I honestly feel I liked him a lot and miss him 😢 It's just confusing to me that I thought everything was okay, then 2 days later he wasn't interested anymore. I just feel I'd like him to still in my life, you know? That's why I was asking you Gemini's for advice..can I get him back, at least as friends? Or is he just over it. I read that Libras & Geminis have a good connection, but when Gems leave, it's for good? He was so much fun to be with & there was never a dull moment(in true Gemini fashion).
Thank you again for your help & comments! =)
Yes, I think you can still turn this around especially if you keep your expectations low and shoot for the "let's be friends" scenario. I don't know much about Libras but since you're dealing with a Gemini guy, it is possible, BUT you have to give it enough time and space to simmer.
A couple of my guy "friends" (with air quotes, lol) did this to me -- but the other way round -- and although I was pissed off at them for being wishy washy, when they resurfaced again after a couple of months, I was okay to be friendly with them again EXCEPT that that friends-more than friends boundary was more clearly drawn on my side.
They didn't ask about my love life. I didn't ask about theirs. We just concentrated on being friends. Later on, that boundary eased up and the friendship was back to the level it was before and even deeper because we had successfully passed the awkward stage.
My practical suggestion for you at this point is DISTRACTION. Just so that it doesn't drive you batty. I'm also going down that route before I start actively scouting again for Virguy's replacement. So hang around the boards, answer some questions, pay it forward, if you will. We've all learned something from all our failed and successful relationships and there's always someone around who could benefit from the wisdom you've learned. =)
Chin up, girl! Things will get better. There's a quote that always guides me in times like these: "All your pain comes from a futile search for what you want insisting where it must be found."
You'll find what you're looking for. Maybe not in him but if you find it, does it matter where you do?
A couple of my guy "friends" (with air quotes, lol) did this to me -- but the other way round -- and although I was pissed off at them for being wishy washy, when they resurfaced again after a couple of months, I was okay to be friendly with them again EXCEPT that that friends-more than friends boundary was more clearly drawn on my side.
They didn't ask about my love life. I didn't ask about theirs. We just concentrated on being friends. Later on, that boundary eased up and the friendship was back to the level it was before and even deeper because we had successfully passed the awkward stage.
My practical suggestion for you at this point is DISTRACTION. Just so that it doesn't drive you batty. I'm also going down that route before I start actively scouting again for Virguy's replacement. So hang around the boards, answer some questions, pay it forward, if you will. We've all learned something from all our failed and successful relationships and there's always someone around who could benefit from the wisdom you've learned. =)
Chin up, girl! Things will get better. There's a quote that always guides me in times like these: "All your pain comes from a futile search for what you want insisting where it must be found."
You'll find what you're looking for. Maybe not in him but if you find it, does it matter where you do?
i had a gem do this to me once....I let him go but then he came crawling back a few months later. I made sure that he knew that we could only be friends, no more than that.
He emailed me the other day....told him I was married. go Figure.
He emailed me the other day....told him I was married. go Figure.
Thanks guys, I appreciate all your feedback. I understand that when he'd mention being exclusive, I shouldn't have doubted the intentions and should have just gone with my true feelings. I guess I was trying to not get "caught up," and it inevitably bit me in the ass. I think it contributed to him breaking up with me, but afterwards, we had a "friends w/benefits" agreement, were still in contact, and I thought we were good. But then 2 days after our last contact, he was just pretty rude all of a sudden, saying he was done & to not contact him anymore. Can someone just shut down feelings in 2 days? I guess that's why I'm so confused. I really miss him and want him in my life still. I'm trying not to let myself go crazy.. But thanks again to everyone for the advice 🙂
All of this is so true..... and please above all...... LISTEN TO THE ADVICE ABOUT LETTING IT COOL OFF!!!
For me, as a Gem, when I'm fed up, I'm fed up. I have the ability to see the texts and calls on my phone and literally feel nothing as I continue to go about my day ignorning this person. To me, I'm done. If they continue to pester me I'll only dig in my heels deeper.
It is true you can turn it around in the future, but it has to be one of those instances where I find myself running into an old lover thinking.... "Oh, where has this person been? I wonder if they still care for me. What have they been up to?" Thus my curiousity has been peaked, but only months and months later. Even then it doesn't mean I'm necessarily looking to start anything back up, I'm just curious.
You should move on and remember, sometimes even the most flashy, those who seem to have the thickest skin, can be made to feel super vunerable when repeatedly asking and chasing. It can't feel good then to have that relationship turned into an even less meaningful relationship..... into a relationship that leaves fear of what else you'll be off doing with other people. Nope, not fun for your Gem.
Also, as a Gem, regardless of what I say I think I want.... friends with benefits has NEVER worked and probably NEVER will.
For me, as a Gem, when I'm fed up, I'm fed up. I have the ability to see the texts and calls on my phone and literally feel nothing as I continue to go about my day ignorning this person. To me, I'm done. If they continue to pester me I'll only dig in my heels deeper.
It is true you can turn it around in the future, but it has to be one of those instances where I find myself running into an old lover thinking.... "Oh, where has this person been? I wonder if they still care for me. What have they been up to?" Thus my curiousity has been peaked, but only months and months later. Even then it doesn't mean I'm necessarily looking to start anything back up, I'm just curious.
You should move on and remember, sometimes even the most flashy, those who seem to have the thickest skin, can be made to feel super vunerable when repeatedly asking and chasing. It can't feel good then to have that relationship turned into an even less meaningful relationship..... into a relationship that leaves fear of what else you'll be off doing with other people. Nope, not fun for your Gem.
Also, as a Gem, regardless of what I say I think I want.... friends with benefits has NEVER worked and probably NEVER will.
Never, ever hurt a Geminis pride. It will take work to win him back, but it's possible. We're very forgiving but you gotta prove you're not a flake.
Posted by gem0609
Never, ever hurt a Geminis pride. It will take work to win him back, but it's possible. We're very forgiving but you gotta prove you're not a flake.
Do you think thats why he was so hurtful at the end? I think we were playing games with each other. He'd mention being exclusive when we'd be out partying, then the next day he'd say he "didn't care what I did." The way he broke it off completely was so random though. 2 days before, we were asking each other about school, saying how it sounded so great to see me soon. Do you think he just met someone in those 2 days and for some reason felt it was necessary to be rude? I really do hope I can make this better eventually.
He only said he "didn't care" what you did because his ego was bruised.
Your words -
"He asked me at least 5 times to be exclusive, but I'd always laugh it off."
"We ended up getting into a drunken argument (my fault) and I broke it off. We had just decided to be exclusive about an hour before this happened."
"one night I text him to see me later and he said he wasn't interested anymore and to not contact him."
Hurtful at the end? Sounds like he was fair and honest with you.
I wouldn't focus so much on him possibly straying to another lady in a month's time. It sounds like you two were pretty intense. I'd focus more on how your holding back or being untrusting of him and his intentions affected your relationship.
Your words -
"He asked me at least 5 times to be exclusive, but I'd always laugh it off."
"We ended up getting into a drunken argument (my fault) and I broke it off. We had just decided to be exclusive about an hour before this happened."
"one night I text him to see me later and he said he wasn't interested anymore and to not contact him."
Hurtful at the end? Sounds like he was fair and honest with you.
I wouldn't focus so much on him possibly straying to another lady in a month's time. It sounds like you two were pretty intense. I'd focus more on how your holding back or being untrusting of him and his intentions affected your relationship.
He was just pretty blunt and rude when he texted me to not contact him anymore. He actually said "I don't want the sex." Ouch! That would be pretty hurtful to anyone, I think, especially since he was all into it 2 days before. Can I make this better eventually? Or just let him go 😢
Him saying "I don't want the sex" only goes to further support what I/we are saying. He wanted more with you. His feelings are hurt.
You may be able to make it up, but I'm questioning your bruised ego at this point. Are you chasing to make yourself feel better? Is it the rejection you can't stand or is it that you truly miss HIM?
I'd sit down and really think about it. REALLY think about it.
If you are going to try to make it better you'll need to humble yourself, apologize and ask for what you want. You'll need to be really clear about why you were unsure and why you are now sure. You already bruised him pretty bad, so there's no more games to be had. Gems can see a liar coming, and this sense is super heightened after a bruising.
If you aren't honestly in it for him, walk. If you can't humble yourself and be completely honest, walk.
We are very forgiving, but it takes an honest, heartfelt apology. I also think you should still give it a little cooling time. You need this to think and for him to see you've had the time to truly process and think.
Good luck.
You may be able to make it up, but I'm questioning your bruised ego at this point. Are you chasing to make yourself feel better? Is it the rejection you can't stand or is it that you truly miss HIM?
I'd sit down and really think about it. REALLY think about it.
If you are going to try to make it better you'll need to humble yourself, apologize and ask for what you want. You'll need to be really clear about why you were unsure and why you are now sure. You already bruised him pretty bad, so there's no more games to be had. Gems can see a liar coming, and this sense is super heightened after a bruising.
If you aren't honestly in it for him, walk. If you can't humble yourself and be completely honest, walk.
We are very forgiving, but it takes an honest, heartfelt apology. I also think you should still give it a little cooling time. You need this to think and for him to see you've had the time to truly process and think.
Good luck.
Posted by CcdarlingPosted by mslibra17
He was just pretty blunt and rude when he texted me to not contact him anymore. He actually said "I don't want the sex." Ouch! That would be pretty hurtful to anyone, I think, especially since he was all into it 2 days before. Can I make this better eventually? Or just let him go 😢
Sounds like he is wounded, better let it slide for a while.click to expand
Do you think so? He was all sending me explicit and friendly texts a few days before?
Posted by mslibra17
He was just pretty blunt and rude when he texted me to not contact him anymore. He actually said "I don't want the sex." Ouch! That would be pretty hurtful to anyone, I think, especially since he was all into it 2 days before. Can I make this better eventually? Or just let him go 😢
Unless you happen to be a really lousy lover, the "I don't want the sex" most probably translates to "I don't want JUST the sex." I mean, regardless of sign, how would you feel if you had genuine feelings for the person and then found out that all he/she wanted from you was to be a fuck buddy? It's hurtful. It's insulting and if I had any shred of self-dignity, I would walk away from it --just like he did.
And being very intuitive, Gems can kind of tell whether it's just fucking for recreation or there are some genuine feelings involved. Maybe he sensed this. I don't know.
Now -- and I'm just thinking out aloud here -- suppose you said, "Sorry, that's not all I wanted from you." Would that make it better? Hmmm...well, it might smooth things over BUT you're going to have a bitch of a time making sure that what you said is as good as gold. Relationship power play over. Gem most likely will get bored and end up leaving you.
Anyway, just another alternative path to this. I don't think it will end well either so it's best to just leave it be for a while... a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG WHILE.
Posted by mslibra17Posted by CcdarlingPosted by mslibra17
He was just pretty blunt and rude when he texted me to not contact him anymore. He actually said "I don't want the sex." Ouch! That would be pretty hurtful to anyone, I think, especially since he was all into it 2 days before. Can I make this better eventually? Or just let him go 😢
Sounds like he is wounded, better let it slide for a while.
Do you think so? He was all sending me explicit and friendly texts a few days before?click to expand
Okay, something you have to seriously understand about Gems. If he was friendly to you two days before -- he meant it and was friendly to you TWO DAYS BEFORE. However, if that has been superceded by something else, then the current state of being is what counts.
As what was said above, when we're fed up, we're fed up. It doesn't matter if you've given us the sun, the moon, the stars on a plate before, if you're on the ignore list, all those nice, fond emotions associated with you are buried for the moment. In a vault. With a padlock. And a padlock that has its own padlock. -- okay, i'm getting hyperbolic, lol. But that's the way it goes with Gems. It's mostly transactional. And it's the last transaction that counts.
A padlock with a padlock with a padlock..... that's funny. Thanks for the laughs Jo.
Also, I like what you said about our being transactional. I never really put it into those terms for myself, but I dig it!
Also, I like what you said about our being transactional. I never really put it into those terms for myself, but I dig it!
Posted by gemtaur
Happily married, I take it. So much so that you have to mention a man crawling back to you on a forum.
Gem man saw your lack of self-awareness from MILES away and ran. He "crawled back" for the kicks, sweetheart. Nothing more.
Libra, Gems are sensitive, the men sometimes much more so. You can't shoot down a Gem five times and then wonder what happened. It takes a lot for us to put it on the line, and when it's not reciprocated we disappear into thin air. Next time, know what you want and don't play games.
no my point is they always come crawling back when its too late.
Posted by mslibra17
Hi everyone, this is my first post. I was really hoping I could get some advice! I'm a Libra woman and was seeing a Gemini boy(younger than me) for about one month. He really laid it on thick- lavishing me with continuous compliments, introducing me to all of his friends, hanging out constantly, and trying to get me to believe he was a "good guy." I kept my guard up, telling him he was full of it. It was a tumultuous but really fun time, we definitely had extremely intense chemistry/connection. It eventually got intimate between us after about 2 weeks. He asked me at least 5 times to be exclusive, but I'd always laugh it off (I was starting law school and thought I wanted to keep it casual).
We ended up getting into a drunken argument (my fault) and I broke it off. We had just decided to be exclusive about an hour before this happened. I tried to backtrack but he thought it was best for us to break up. He blamed it on our arguing & busy schedules. We decided to keep it as a "friends w/benefits" relationship. He seemed all for it (although we never actually hooked up after agreeing to this), then one night I text him to see me later and he said he wasn't interested anymore and to not contact him. I thought we were fine 2 days prior! I'm so confused now, I can't seem to get over him. What happened in 2 days? I'm doubting myself & if he was full of lies from the beginning. Did he really deceive me and all of my friends? I can't concentrate on anything & think I want him back! Can I get a Gemini back?
Yeah I think he couldn't have made it more clear that he was into you and wanted to be exclusive but you didn't take him seriously which is really your fault not his. I think he is the one that was hurt and realized you weren't ready to be his girlfriend. So yeah I don't blame him for cutting you off for good. When you like some one alot you kinda of do that.
Posted by eric11
Yeah I think he couldn't have made it more clear that he was into you and wanted to be exclusive but you didn't take him seriously which is really your fault not his. I think he is the one that was hurt and realized you weren't ready to be his girlfriend. So yeah I don't blame him for cutting you off for good. When you like some one alot you kinda of do that.
Glad to hear from a male! But, oh crap, is that really what the cutting you off for good is all about? I have always wondered about this. I couldn't get why they couldn't be or remain friends with me (which for me is the level from which all relationship upgrades stem from) especially when I feel that I didn't play them and was just honest in stating that I'm not ready for anything with anyone. I mean, it wasn't about them. It was about me so it wasn't their fault. I just didn't want to get into something I wasn't 100% sure about yet.
I'd think the reaction extreme. Some even go to the extent of being cruel or intentionally wounding me and I don't get that because I didn't lead them on or drop them like a hot potato never to be heard from again. When I know it's a no go, I tell them because I don't want to waste their time. If they ask, I also tell them why because at this point, I've thought about it and know why myself. I don't like being disappeared on and wondering why so I don't do it to others. But yeah, this always happens that's why I've become almost hesitant to get to know men because I know it takes time for me to trust and open up and when they want to railroad the relationship issue, I have no choice but to stay true to myself and give them "the speech". And since I know the aftermath of that, that's not very pleasant really.
Posted by Chance11
sometimes it's to protect themselves if they realize they could never be 'just friends' with you or if you were close or intimate, it seems to be a hollow regression, if not constant reminder, of what you once had.
I get the distancing because of the "no hope for advancement" IF I already told them that I figured out that we wouldn't be a good match. But maybe I'm splitting hairs here or what but if the reason is that I'm not ready for a relationship just yet (a.k.a. bad timing) that's not a no. And it's too bad because some of the guys, I really liked and thought that there'd be something there to take forward but.. oh well.
I just feel duped sometimes. Gemini naivete, perhaps. These guys will usually come on with the disclaimer of "friends first" which is really solid and good until you read the fine print which says "only until I want something more and then it becomes all or nothing." Yeeeeshhh.
yaaa gemini guys are kinda dickss
im a gemini girl, who has had a heart broken on 3 seperate occassions by 3 different gemini >=[
the best thing to do is give them a taste of there own medicine and move on faster!
go for the fixed signs ;]
im a gemini girl, who has had a heart broken on 3 seperate occassions by 3 different gemini >=[
the best thing to do is give them a taste of there own medicine and move on faster!
go for the fixed signs ;]
I'm on the same boat. Gem girl disappeared on me once, I try to reconnect months later, we talk constantly for a week, she disappears again. It's all in the Libra forum http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=2058304 sorry I don't mean to hijack the thread. I figure I'm just going to go see her one last time, give it to her straight, & just walk away from the turbulence.
Posted by UrsaMediocre
I'm on the same boat. Gem girl disappeared on me once, I try to reconnect months later, we talk constantly for a week, she disappears again. It's all in the Libra forum http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=2058304 sorry I don't mean to hijack the thread. I figure I'm just going to go see her one last time, give it to her straight, & just walk away from the turbulence.
I know what you mean. I have a Gem friend who talks to me when she feels like and ignores me the rest of the time. I know patience is important when communicating with a Gem woman, but sometimes I wonder why I still bother. In your case, I would say that Gems get closure by ignoring people. A little different from other signs. If you are trying to get closure, I suggest you don't give it to her, unless it's in that other way!
Posted by eric11Posted by UrsaMediocre
I'm on the same boat. Gem girl disappeared on me once, I try to reconnect months later, we talk constantly for a week, she disappears again. It's all in the Libra forum http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=2058304 sorry I don't mean to hijack the thread. I figure I'm just going to go see her one last time, give it to her straight, & just walk away from the turbulence.
I know what you mean. I have a Gem friend who talks to me when she feels like and ignores me the rest of the time. I know patience is important when communicating with a Gem woman, but sometimes I wonder why I still bother. In your case, I would say that Gems get closure by ignoring people. A little different from other signs. If you are trying to get closure, I suggest you don't give it to her, unless it's in that other way!
click to expand
Hmmmm, I understand Gems can like you one day & then hate you the next but then I'm still trying to figure out what exactly triggered the coldness? Is she conflicted, does she not want anything to do with me, what kind of emotion (or lack thereof) is it based on? Do I wait, continue the subtle chase, be more aggressive, apologize? Last time she went cold on me, we didn't speak for months & not a day went by that I didn't think about her. After I just took the initiative & surprised her, we talked nonstop for about a week (seriously, nearly 12 hours straight each day of texts and talking) before she disappeared again. I figure she'll never talk to me again but I want to make it known to her that I'm smitten & even if she doesn't have feelings for me, I'll move on but still want to be friends (that's so Libra) because I thought we had a good thing going.
Hmmmm, I understand Gems can like you one day & then hate you the next but then I'm still trying to figure out what exactly triggered the coldness?
I read your posts in the Libra forum and it seems like you were doing well before she went cold on you again. GemTaur gave you such good advice about Gems too.
As far as the cold front -- all I have to say is that sometimes we don't have to hate you to do an ignore, at least that is true for me. Sometimes, it's just overexposure. Too much of you that it's overkill and we need the space, the distance, the AIR to be able to breathe.
Sometimes it's also confusion, especially if you haven't told her what you want from her yet. From your history, it seems like YOU think that you were giving her space. However, GemTaur decoded that as she felt rejected to she shied away.
If you look at it from that perspective -- from HER perspective -- here's a guy who didn't seem to really like her before even with all the hints she was giving away, comes back after a long absence, we hit it off and just when you break the surface of the Gem's feelings, she might be thinking... uh oh is he going to disappear on me again? I don't want to start liking him again (like before) and he just might be playing so maybe I'll leave first. (it's air -- we slip out unnoticed if we want to)
So do I have any practical advice for you? Well, before you get her thinking -- tell her what you want from her, tell her what she can expect from you. Be sincere. Then you'll figure out what the cold front was about.
I read your posts in the Libra forum and it seems like you were doing well before she went cold on you again. GemTaur gave you such good advice about Gems too.
As far as the cold front -- all I have to say is that sometimes we don't have to hate you to do an ignore, at least that is true for me. Sometimes, it's just overexposure. Too much of you that it's overkill and we need the space, the distance, the AIR to be able to breathe.
Sometimes it's also confusion, especially if you haven't told her what you want from her yet. From your history, it seems like YOU think that you were giving her space. However, GemTaur decoded that as she felt rejected to she shied away.
If you look at it from that perspective -- from HER perspective -- here's a guy who didn't seem to really like her before even with all the hints she was giving away, comes back after a long absence, we hit it off and just when you break the surface of the Gem's feelings, she might be thinking... uh oh is he going to disappear on me again? I don't want to start liking him again (like before) and he just might be playing so maybe I'll leave first. (it's air -- we slip out unnoticed if we want to)
So do I have any practical advice for you? Well, before you get her thinking -- tell her what you want from her, tell her what she can expect from you. Be sincere. Then you'll figure out what the cold front was about.
Posted by Joanie675
I read your posts in the Libra forum and it seems like you were doing well before she went cold on you again. GemTaur gave you such good advice about Gems too.
As far as the cold front -- all I have to say is that sometimes we don't have to hate you to do an ignore, at least that is true for me. Sometimes, it's just overexposure. Too much of you that it's overkill and we need the space, the distance, the AIR to be able to breathe.
Sometimes it's also confusion, especially if you haven't told her what you want from her yet. From your history, it seems like YOU think that you were giving her space. However, GemTaur decoded that as she felt rejected to she shied away.
If you look at it from that perspective -- from HER perspective -- here's a guy who didn't seem to really like her before even with all the hints she was giving away, comes back after a long absence, we hit it off and just when you break the surface of the Gem's feelings, she might be thinking... uh oh is he going to disappear on me again? I don't want to start liking him again (like before) and he just might be playing so maybe I'll leave first. (it's air -- we slip out unnoticed if we want to)
So do I have any practical advice for you? Well, before you get her thinking -- tell her what you want from her, tell her what she can expect from you. Be sincere. Then you'll figure out what the cold front was about.
If that was really the case, I wish I never made her feel rejected. I felt maybe I wasn't forward enough because frankly, of all the women I've ever dated, I never felt butterflies & she absolutely made me feel nervous and not my usual self. Again if this was the case, I'm wondering why she felt I disappeared when I kept text-chasing her after, trying to invite her to do something?
Actually, I do think talking every day, hours on end was rather excessive. The reason why I was trying so hard was because I was afraid she was going to disappear on me again. I tried to keep her attention, she responded well to me being sweet (maybe being a lil TOO sweet, one day I apologized in the morning telling her I'm sorry I didn't text her before I fell asleep because I wanted to wish her a good night). Was me trying to reciprocate the compliments she was giving me a little too much?
Thank you all so very much for your advice, your time, and your patience. I've got an app
Thank you all so very much for your advice, your time, and your patience. I've got an appt. w/ a reader tomorrow so I'm trying to get all the advice and opinions I can get from everyone. Would this weekend be too soon for me to try to see her in person and just tell her how I feel? At this point, I really just want closure. I can cope w/ rejection but I can't cope w/ the "what ifs" & "what might have beens".
Posted by UrsaMediocre
Thank you all so very much for your advice, your time, and your patience. I've got an appt. w/ a reader tomorrow so I'm trying to get all the advice and opinions I can get from everyone. Would this weekend be too soon for me to try to see her in person and just tell her how I feel? At this point, I really just want closure. I can cope w/ rejection but I can't cope w/ the "what ifs" & "what might have beens".
Wow, I have a reader too but even if I get told that he does have feelings for me and all that ... i'm a girl so there's only so much I can do, LOL.
I get text-chased, phone-chased, email-chased a lot. I can tell the guys like me but I'm never sure how far they want to take it. Of course, the attention is flattering and I appreciate it but it gets to the point where I ask myself, is this all they want to do? Text and phone and email and chat and whatever? They probably are as nervous as you when it comes to me but what the hey, I tend to put people off balance even in non-romantic situations -- but their tentativeness is off-putting. Like I'm really going to tell them -- "you keep pussyfooting around me, why don't you just show up and tell me what you want so that I know and we can go from there?"
Please remember that we are a highly mutable sign. If you're not grounded, if you don't know what you want, if you don't know what shape, way or form you want the air to resemble, we will slip from your grasp. So strike while the iron is hot.
Bold & daring it is. Thank you.
Freakem geminis I'm in the same boat as you . It's like they control your brain with there special charming powers .I'm a libra and I'm heartbroken because it's like they make you break things off with them out of frustration then they make there exit without a care .I want mine back too !! We gotta come up with a plan !!!
Posted by angelbunnydarlinglibra
Freakem geminis I'm in the same boat as you . It's like they control your brain with there special charming powers .I'm a libra and I'm heartbroken because it's like they make you break things off with them out of frustration then they make there exit without a care .I want mine back too !! We gotta come up with a plan !!!
Haha.. brain control with charming special powers... I like the sound of that!
PLAN:
1) Disappear for a while to retain the air of mystery about you. Go dark.
2) Resurface with casual non-chalant manner as if all this time you have been enjoying life. Emphasis on non-chalant. This will make Gem think, "what has she been up to that makes her so happy/fun/insert adjective here without my company?" Goes to Gem's ego. Will make them start to wonder AND will want to be in on whatever it is that's making you bloom and glow and just blush with a joie de vivre.
3) In casual conversation, mention something new that you're into, new about you -- something that he doesn't know about or know that you were into when you were still seeing each other. Don't invite him into it straight out. Talk about it like it's your special place/hobby/secret sanctuary and MAKE HIM INVITE HIMSELF. Gems are naturally curious and he will want to explore your new nirvana.
4) When you've finally captured his attention -- move to second stage of the plan. This one, you're going to have to make up for yourself.
I'm a Gem and I have a guy Gem BFF who keeps trying to get with me romantically but we can't just get our acts together. Anyway, we have a love hate relationship and often I'm the one who's had it and disappears. BUT with the tactic he employs on me (see above), it never fails to bring me back to the table.
Make them curious enough, to start.
Posted by Joanie675Posted by mslibra17Posted by CcdarlingPosted by mslibra17
He was just pretty blunt and rude when he texted me to not contact him anymore. He actually said "I don't want the sex." Ouch! That would be pretty hurtful to anyone, I think, especially since he was all into it 2 days before. Can I make this better eventually? Or just let him go 😢
Sounds like he is wounded, better let it slide for a while.
Do you think so? He was all sending me explicit and friendly texts a few days before?
Okay, something you have to seriously understand about Gems. If he was friendly to you two days before -- he meant it and was friendly to you TWO DAYS BEFORE. However, if that has been superceded by something else, then the current state of being is what counts.
As what was said above, when we're fed up, we're fed up. It doesn't matter if you've given us the sun, the moon, the stars on a plate before, if you're on the ignore list, all those nice, fond emotions associated with you are buried for the moment. In a vault. With a padlock. And a padlock that has its own padlock. -- okay, i'm getting hyperbolic, lol. But that's the way it goes with Gems. It's mostly transactional. And it's the last transaction that counts.click to expand
So you mean to say that once the padlock is locked then it can NEVER be opened again??;(
Posted by TwistedTwinPosted by angelbunnydarlinglibra
Freakem geminis I'm in the same boat as you . It's like they control your brain with there special charming powers .I'm a libra and I'm heartbroken because it's like they make you break things off with them out of frustration then they make there exit without a care .I want mine back too !! We gotta come up with a plan !!!
Haha.. brain control with charming special powers... I like the sound of that!
PLAN:
1) Disappear for a while to retain the air of mystery about you. Go dark.
2) Resurface with casual non-chalant manner as if all this time you have been enjoying life. Emphasis on non-chalant. This will make Gem think, "what has she been up to that makes her so happy/fun/insert adjective here without my company?" Goes to Gem's ego. Will make them start to wonder AND will want to be in on whatever it is that's making you bloom and glow and just blush with a joie de vivre.
3) In casual conversation, mention something new that you're into, new about you -- something that he doesn't know about or know that you were into when you were still seeing each other. Don't invite him into it straight out. Talk about it like it's your special place/hobby/secret sanctuary and MAKE HIM INVITE HIMSELF. Gems are naturally curious and he will want to explore your new nirvana.
4) When you've finally captured his attention -- move to second stage of the plan. This one, you're going to have to make up for yourself.
I'm a Gem and I have a guy Gem BFF who keeps trying to get with me romantically but we can't just get our acts together. Anyway, we have a love hate relationship and often I'm the one who's had it and disappears. BUT with the tactic he employs on me (see above), it never fails to bring me back to the table.
I LOVE you ! And I LOVE your plan .gonna use it ,put in effect Today!!
Make them curious enough, to start.click to expand
what is "being exlusive" means?? i don't get it
Hey ms libra , are you still mourning your Gemini? I am I keep trying to move on and its not working what a dickhead !! I can't believe he sAid that to you .I bet when you broke things off with him it was just outta frustration over there whatever attitude . I'm beginning to think minr never cared about me at all , he said he did . I bet your cookiemonster will come crawling back to you just to see if he can ! We libras just don't flip out for no reason could ut be they don't even no there acting like cookiemonsters?I dunno but we gotta get over this i personally am really bothered by it .how can he just ignore me after all that time it's like they have an automatic emotion shut of valve . I feel bad for you and I think both our ex's will regret it -not that I wish that on them ,just saying i have a ton of idiots asking me out and all i care about is the one that treats me like cookiemonster .but when he did treat me right it was fricken the best .thats why its so hard.I know I woulda been so good to him .whatever .just some random thoughts , trying to come to terms with how i can move on , they make lasting impressions on us ,do you agree ?ange
Yes, still mourning the Gemini. We talked, he expressed his regret over breaking up with me. He was saying "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize how beautiful you are & how good you were to me..etc." for a good 2 hours. Then I didn't hear from him until I saw him randomly a week later. He was into me but not on the same level. Seriously confusing. He agreed to have a "talk" later that week then didn't follow through.
It seems as though we have 2 Geminis who can't make up their mind about what they want, the inconsistency is confusing & breaks my heart. His friend implied that he just does this to girls. It's hard to accept that everything was a lie, like how do you ask someone to be your girlfriend then completely switch up? It's pretty much over but I can't shake it either, as hard as I'm trying to. I too, have met other guys but I can't stop thinking about this Gem, they have a spell on us or something.
It seems as though we have 2 Geminis who can't make up their mind about what they want, the inconsistency is confusing & breaks my heart. His friend implied that he just does this to girls. It's hard to accept that everything was a lie, like how do you ask someone to be your girlfriend then completely switch up? It's pretty much over but I can't shake it either, as hard as I'm trying to. I too, have met other guys but I can't stop thinking about this Gem, they have a spell on us or something.
Mslibra, hopefully, you've gotten past this woeful stage with your Gemini -- maybe I can shed some light on this as well. I'm a Gem woman, so I tend to understand Gemini men quite well. Like some of the other posters here have said, though we may not look it, we are highly intuitive and can sense when someone is really into us or "undecided." Libras are notorious for endlessly weighing things and going back and forth. I had a Libra guy who did the same thing to me that you did to your Gem guy. At first, he was all into me, and was very aggressive when pushing for what he wanted; he even threw a tantrum once because he felt I wasn't giving him enough passion after only knowing him for a week. 2 days later he sent me an apology, which I thought was sincere, so I forgave him.
Close to a month into our relationship, we became intimate, then he suddenly went cold on me again. He used to call or text me everyday, then all of a sudden he stopped. Though I know he was probably just in "weighing" mode again, Gems really don't have time for people who are not sure if they want us. We are very forgiving, but we have our limits and won't allow anyone to keep hurting us. After nearly three days of nothing but silence from him, I sent him an email and wished him well. Libras are known for stringing people along and then trying to get them back when they think they have lost them. Geminis are one of the few signs that can match Libras mentally and this is probably why you are so attracted to him.
Libra and Gemini have a very intense and passionate connection, and that may be your saving grace. But it will take him a VERY long time to trust you again, so don't read too much into how friendly he is being with you... at the end of the day, he's still on guard. We Gems want someone who is as into us as we are into them--if not, we won't stick around, no matter how much it hurts to break up.
Close to a month into our relationship, we became intimate, then he suddenly went cold on me again. He used to call or text me everyday, then all of a sudden he stopped. Though I know he was probably just in "weighing" mode again, Gems really don't have time for people who are not sure if they want us. We are very forgiving, but we have our limits and won't allow anyone to keep hurting us. After nearly three days of nothing but silence from him, I sent him an email and wished him well. Libras are known for stringing people along and then trying to get them back when they think they have lost them. Geminis are one of the few signs that can match Libras mentally and this is probably why you are so attracted to him.
Libra and Gemini have a very intense and passionate connection, and that may be your saving grace. But it will take him a VERY long time to trust you again, so don't read too much into how friendly he is being with you... at the end of the day, he's still on guard. We Gems want someone who is as into us as we are into them--if not, we won't stick around, no matter how much it hurts to break up.
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