Anaphora
@Anaphora
11 Years
Comments: 1 · Posts: 36 · Topics: 2
Gemini man - I have been deeply hurt, please help
Posted by TokerX
Dunno, I wouldn't do that shit.
You mean, you wouldn't do any more contacts with him, or what?
You must be a good Gemini. Now I am so hurt and in tears 😢
I really don't think that I will be missed... He even didn't think that our messages could be deleted, that's cruel. And what about my photos, that's just not fair!
He could have written: I'll delete them" or something.
And I get you, I get also thrown away. But you probably know that for Scorpio Moons vengeance is not worth of grooming a lot of time. I'll surely keep it in my mental storage, but emotions came out 😢
Posted by Anaphora
Ending in that CRUEL way is being very childish and irresponsible and immature. I am hurt, because I send him my intimacy, and he didn't even give me a closure. Now, I don't know what to do.
He gave you what you gave him. To even think that you can go there in the first place and be so rude. Good for him, but that's pretty drastic for a gem for a first offence.
Maybe he'll be back and give you another chance once he's had some space, which gives you both time to think about what happened and how to not let something like that happen again.....more scorpio crap.....
Why do you have such mood swings? Have you mentioned them to your house doctor? There is a treatment for them. I wouldn't go dating again until you get them under control.
As for what happened to you......that's actually the norm on dating sites (assuming that you've met on one). People test the waters by exchanging emails, pictures, etc......well, probably not nudes, don't do that again. They communicate with many people at the same time, but only get to meet a few in real life.
Let's say that this Gem found someone he likes better and who lives closer to him. He went on a few dates and is thinking to take it further. The fact that he deleted you, sent a strongest message already: that his interest is elsewhere and he doesn't want to waste his precious time (or yours) any longer. Maybe you would have preferred to hear it from him.....but why would he risk being abused again ---aka mood swings---?
There is no etiquette about how such brief online exchanges should end. 99% are terminated within 1-3 months. You could spend another 3 months being angry about it, or you could just move on. There is nothing to analyze here, except perhaps your over-the-top behaviour and expectations.
As for what happened to you......that's actually the norm on dating sites (assuming that you've met on one). People test the waters by exchanging emails, pictures, etc......well, probably not nudes, don't do that again. They communicate with many people at the same time, but only get to meet a few in real life.
Let's say that this Gem found someone he likes better and who lives closer to him. He went on a few dates and is thinking to take it further. The fact that he deleted you, sent a strongest message already: that his interest is elsewhere and he doesn't want to waste his precious time (or yours) any longer. Maybe you would have preferred to hear it from him.....but why would he risk being abused again ---aka mood swings---?
There is no etiquette about how such brief online exchanges should end. 99% are terminated within 1-3 months. You could spend another 3 months being angry about it, or you could just move on. There is nothing to analyze here, except perhaps your over-the-top behaviour and expectations.
You seem to feel somehow entitled because you sent him nude pics........why?
If you did it from your initiative.....it backfired.
If he asked you to send them......he was probably just a wanker who collects nudes online.
If you did it from your initiative.....it backfired.
If he asked you to send them......he was probably just a wanker who collects nudes online.
I will wrote down that he also had mood swings and was in bad emotional states. One day doesn't give you a right to throw 3 months of sharing time with no closure. I did not abuse him at all. The thing you are really right about is that he wanted to communicate with photos. So I have send them to him. Maybe his ego felt like he has conquered something... I will listen to you, and I will not send them again.
I guess you are right: deleting means not interested, but we are not animals, we are humans. And no, he would not be abused if he had told me the only information I wanted to hear as an adult: " I don't wanna have nothing with you." If you mean under the term big expectations, I really don't think that that is a big expectation.
I feel I have done wrong with those photos, I don't have other thoughts about it.
Posted by gemelioristPosted by Anaphora
Ending in that CRUEL way is being very childish and irresponsible and immature. I am hurt, because I send him my intimacy, and he didn't even give me a closure. Now, I don't know what to do.
He gave you what you gave him. To even think that you can go there in the first place and be so rude. Good for him, but that's pretty drastic for a gem for a first offence.
Maybe he'll be back and give you another chance once he's had some space, which gives you both time to think about what happened and how to not let something like that happen again.....more scorpio crap.....
click to expand
Yes, by space you mean a never ending closure. And I have apologized to him, I wasn't making it "stay in the air forever" attitude. Maybe someone cannot except apologize?
Posted by Anaphora
Iinformation I wanted to hear as an adult: " I don't wanna have nothing with you." If you mean under the term big expectations, I really don't think that that is a big expectation.
No, I was referring to this: "I even wrote him down, that I would like to be his true girlfriend and lover". If you say this to a man before you even met him, he'll think you are desperate. Instead, say things like "I am looking for a relationship with the right man", to let him know you're serious.
When I met my Gem online, we were writing things like "I'm looking for my last romantic partner, someone to spend the rest of my life with.." We admitted that we possibly found this in each other......but only many months after we've met and discovered all the important aspects of our lives.
The only person able to give you real closure is yourself. This is when you decide enough is enough, and let it go.
I usually say to myself that I didn't have something he wanted, or that I had something that put him off.
Whatever that is, is ultimately irrelevant, because the next man I will meet will have different needs.
However, if I made some silly, out-of-character mistakes, I learn not to make them again.
I usually say to myself that I didn't have something he wanted, or that I had something that put him off.
Whatever that is, is ultimately irrelevant, because the next man I will meet will have different needs.
However, if I made some silly, out-of-character mistakes, I learn not to make them again.
Yes, I guess my approach was not good. My intuition says to me that I used wrong word and I didn't express myself good... I have a Pisces Ascendant and somehow people take me for granted, they project whatever they want on my looks, and give zero credit for their own behavior. Maybe I was just too boring to handle. Maybe he looked for a model, and not a person of flesh and attitude. But it hearts.
Maybe...who cares. Better focus on what YOU need in a man and continue looking for it.
Posted by Lust
Well for a libra you sound like the very emotional type & drama like. "...been deeply hurt, sending nude picture, looking for validation, acusing him for being immature when he didn't act according to your expectation, you couldn't control your anger by saying nasty thing to him..." All of that in less than six months getting to know him??!! That is reckless. You are in 30's but behave like a teenager to me. He might got turn off & had move on to the next girl already now. I honestly don't blame him at all. If I were him, I'd disappear right after you sent the nude picture out of being scared of dealing with some one who's moving too fast. I Lost interest all together.
Just find a new guy, lesson learnt. You need to learn to be patient in getting to know some one. The guy (don't matter what the sign is) may seems very eager or convincing, HOWEVER the girl needs to act classy. Keep the emotional & reckless behavior in the bedroom_—
According to your word, I seem just a easy brainless woman, drama attention seeker. You do not get it..I liked him! I spoke to him. It was not a one night stand...
Maybe he did you a favor. Obviously, his character isn't upstanding or he would have told you he was cutting it off instead of just doing it coldly and without warning.
So instead of feeling hurt, try to feel happy.
So instead of feeling hurt, try to feel happy.
3 months online?? You liked him? Or the idea of him...
Well, he did ask for my photos... And I send it to him because I felt that we connected....Did I like the idea of him? I liked him and his thoughts and while we were talking I was really seeing things differently, and I connected with myself differently. I thought it was reciprocal. Maybe it was that AIR connection between us. I saw our communication as something really good, and he was willing to tell me things about his personal life. I guess the feelings were not mutual at all, but as far as it goes for textual communication, I guess, it is obvious that he didn't want to have nothing with me. But he could just write it down.
I guess I am now on his list of women, or something. Nothing more. Am I hurt? I really am. Someone wrote that my ego has been bruised. I dunno....I feel really sad.
you sent NUDE pics of yourself to some dude you barely knew because you felt connected? and then wonder why he dumped you? He played you like a fiddle. Have some dignity already.
You're in your 30's seriously?
****way is being very childish and irresponsible and immature
Posted by gemini64
you sent NUDE pics of yourself to some dude you barely knew because you felt connected? and then wonder why he dumped you? He played you like a fiddle. Have some dignity already.
You're in your 30's seriously?
****way is being very childish and irresponsible and immature
First...the way that person treated me is childish and irresponsible, because we communicated for 3 months. Why do you judge me so harsh, and do not see the other side? Also, as I have mentioned before, I feel that I have done wrong by sending it. Dignity is not the issue here. Do you know what is dignity. To say "goodbye" to someone when you do not want to have nothing with them.
Posted by AnaphoraPosted by gemini64
you sent NUDE pics of yourself to some dude you barely knew because you felt connected? and then wonder why he dumped you? He played you like a fiddle. Have some dignity already.
You're in your 30's seriously?
****way is being very childish and irresponsible and immature
First...the way that person treated me is childish and irresponsible, because we communicated for 3 months. Why do you judge me so harsh, and do not see the other side? Also, as I have mentioned before, I feel that I have done wrong by sending it. Dignity is not the issue here. Do you know what is dignity. To say "goodbye" to someone when you do not want to have nothing with them.click to expand
Yes I know damn well what dignity is. I've been happily married for 16 years and have raised two outstanding 13 year old boys.
My Mother taught me at an early age that if you want a man to respect you, you don't give away your self respect.
I don't care if you communicated with this guy for 3 months. You gave away your self respect in one quick click of your mouse.
I know young women in their teens who have more dignity that you do.
Nothing matters about what he did. NOTHING. This ones ALL ON YOU. And it backfired.
If you thinks that harsh, so be it. It's truth.
matters of heart I listen to constructive energies, not ones that PUT YOU DOWN. I came here for advices, so thank you all here that gave me a kind of closure that I didn't not receive 🙂
Posted by xy
Undine is right, focus on you. Why waste any more energy focusing on him. Control what you can (yourself) and let it be (what you can't).
Thank you, I will do that...
Posted by truecap
Maybe he did you a favor. Obviously, his character isn't upstanding or he would have told you he was cutting it off instead of just doing it coldly and without warning.
So instead of feeling hurt, try to feel happy.
Okey.....
Posted by Lust
Off course you like him. I got that. Actually you are crazy about him (Your action showed it). Now I don't mean to offend you, I just point out few things (in honest way) that normally a mature lady would not do.
I'm sure that you are smart & beatiful, and this gym guy is a looser. Your ego just got bruised, that's all. Soon you will find some one who will treat you the way you deserve.
Good luck to you.
click to expand
Thank you...
Well, as I wrote you down detail, I will write some more.
Yesterday Gemini guy answer after almost 20 days of silence on the mail.
He just wrote, that he was away and that he can't get over some bad words I said.
I'm just too tired of people who play weird kinda "emotional" games like that."
So I guess, he didn't even wanted to talk and work out the details, just labeled me as a weird person.
And he said that he deleted my photos.
Posted by Anaphora
Well, as I wrote you down detail, I will write some more.
Yesterday Gemini guy answer after almost 20 days of silence on the mail.
He just wrote, that he was away and that he can't get over some bad words I said.
I'm just too tired of people who play weird kinda "emotional" games like that."
So I guess, he didn't even wanted to talk and work out the details, just labeled me as a weird person.
And he said that he deleted my photos.
Hey, not everyone is going to understand you. I have had people think I am weird and it hurts but I would rather be me vs someone that feels they have to hide who they are. We don't know what you said to him that he feels he can't get over but I wouldn't blame it on an emotional game.
He hadn't known you for very long long, you exhibited some quality he didn't like and chose to move on. Just like you made a choice to say something to him that didn't sit well with him. We all have choices, sometimes they turn out good, sometimes not so good.
We all make mistakes.. I hope you find peace in knowing he took the time to write you and tried to give you closure to understand why.
We geminis get bored with online stuff. It just isn't fulfilling. We always want more. I wouldn't take it personally. I think most people would find that communication online gets old real fast. It becomes too routine and all that talk makes you want to act further and meet and be intimate. I think he just got bored and is more interested in offline relationships.
Just a question for the Geminis. I can really relate to this thread as the words 'hurt' and 'deeply' come up and I can totally understand where Anaphora is coming up. My question is, whenever problems arise in a relationship, why do Geminis do the disappearing act? Its like they disappear right when they... Or whichever hits either one right in the gut. You have to understand that when a Scorpio hurts, they feel it in the gut and do need closure. Communication I think is what they call it. But gem in this case, disappears then reappears. And it's all the more hurtful to do things that way with say, an emotional person. So.. why the evade tactic?
Just a disclaimer, I've been trying things out with a Gem man. I will get radio silence seemingly out of nowhere at some point I'm trying to yell "Mayday, mayday!" Not literally but figuratively. They do come back, but Its not... effective I guess to take a break when in the midst of something that's important to another person. Maybe that's just me.
Posted by RollergirlOrc
Just a question for the Geminis. I can really relate to this thread as the words 'hurt' and 'deeply' come up and I can totally understand where Anaphora is coming up. My question is, whenever problems arise in a relationship, why do Geminis do the disappearing act? Its like they disappear right when they... Or whichever hits either one right in the gut. You have to understand that when a Scorpio hurts, they feel it in the gut and do need closure. Communication I think is what they call it. But gem in this case, disappears then reappears. And it's all the more hurtful to do things that way with say, an emotional person. So.. why the evade tactic?
I dunno if gem man are exactly as we gem girls are,but ill try to answer your question.
I HATE complications and drama and hurting and getting hurt, as soon as that comes up in any relationship all i wanna do is RUNNNNNNNNNN...
We do like to comunicate,but in a much 'light' way... i dont like to discuss how much i hurt anyone, or how much you were hurt by what i did or said. is too much of a burden for me.
same way i dont like to throw that to the person im with.
When my partner gets all emotional on how my actions affects him, i get overwhelmed and if i dont understand those emotions, i will need space and time to understand them.
I have a strong need to rationalize emotions, to think, compare, analize them, and it might take me sometime, because i will mos def try to walk in your shoes to understand you.
Once i do understand them i come back open to talk about the topic again, but if things get emotional again i will have to do the whole process.
IF i think i will never get to understand you nor you understand me, i will move on without hesitation.
But sure i might just let things linger, as i do hate clousure as well.
If we were not in a full relationship, i might come back if i ever get bored or missed something about you (chats, sex)
Hope i get to help
Also, sorry about my english, is a bit rusty :-/
You're geographically inaccessible which may be a reason why your gemini man turned cold. Plus, I'm not sure nude pictures are a good idea. I mean soon after you shared them, he grew distant. Between that & "be my lover" like Undine states, it was too much pressure. When you don't let relationships develop organically, you often harpoon them by doing too much too soon and thereby looking desperate to the man. But really, I just don't see how you're gonna work out if you're not geographically accessible.
Not to condone your "bad words" to him. It did have a bad effect. However, those words came from a deeper understanding that you're heart is invested in something that isn't going anywhere. You need to find love closer to home.
Posted by Este8
You're geographically inaccessible which may be a reason why your gemini man turned cold. Plus, I'm not sure nude pictures are a good idea. I mean soon after you shared them, he grew distant. Between that & "be my lover" like Undine states, it was too much pressure. When you don't let relationships develop organically, you often harpoon them by doing too much too soon and thereby looking desperate to the man. But really, I just don't see how you're gonna work out if you're not geographically accessible.
After he told me I was weird, and tried to just ignore me and my feelings, I wrote him down that he should meditate over the whole situation. I wrote him down once more, asking him how is he feeling and everything, and he wrote me down that I cannot do anything to make him better. He asked me what I was doing. I told him that I am sorry I cannot help him, and would like to hug him. I gave him a link with meditation music and waves, because I wanted him to meditate and feel better. He didn't contact me back at all. I wrote in the end that I felt really good with him, and I am thinking about him, told him about myself and wrote him down that I would like him to contact me back. I once more apologized about the photos in a funny way, and told him that I was also sad. Of course, he didn't answer. I think he is playing games with me, because, he just wants it like that. I think he has already forgotten about me. I wanted to end it in a playful way, because I didn't like the way he was responding to my apology, neither to the feelings. I didn't want to be covered with depression. I just think he wasn't feeling anything about me, and I was worrying about the bad things I said. Really, long distant relationship can work out. It is the way how people need to make a consensus out of it. I didn't want to wrote down something like, can we stay friends, because I would never send nude picture to a friend. I wanted to stay in different type of relationship. The bad thing is that he didn't see me as a friend either. And I would like to add, that I have been in a relationship with a men who lived about 20 km away from me. I was dating him for years, and suddenly all nice things became like a big cruelty pack. Really, he turned so against me. I believe that good reports can be also made in foreign and multicultural environments.
Also I would like to add, that he ignored my apology, he ignored my feelings. So he ignored two things, my ratio and my emotions. The only thing he wrote down was the question what I was doing, and it was asked in a very formal way. It shows that he diminished my feelings and thoughts, and that he thinks I am stupid and emotional, but only my actions can proof that he was wrong. And that I am not good looking enough nor well educated enough to communicate with him. So I shouldn't have had any type of attitude at all. I meditated a lot over the situation. And went through our conversations we had. From that conversations I am picking up all my conclusions. As I was feeling so bad, I decided to wrote him a positive feedback, because as a Libra, I do not want more confrontations, were I am put in a position of a stupid pupil who doesn't deserve a normal closure. But he didn't response to the information, that I was feeling good with him (which puts him in a good position, and makes better). I now know, he just doesn't care. There is a line between ignoring and putting somebody on mute.
Posted by Anaphora
Also I would like to add, that he ignored my apology, he ignored my feelings. So he ignored two things, my ratio and my emotions. The only thing he wrote down was the question what I was doing, and it was asked in a very formal way. It shows that he diminished my feelings and thoughts, and that he thinks I am stupid and emotional, but only my actions can proof that he was wrong. And that I am not good looking enough nor well educated enough to communicate with him. So I shouldn't have had any type of attitude at all. I meditated a lot over the situation. And went through our conversations we had. From that conversations I am picking up all my conclusions. As I was feeling so bad, I decided to wrote him a positive feedback, because as a Libra, I do not want more confrontations, were I am put in a position of a stupid pupil who doesn't deserve a normal closure. But he didn't response to the information, that I was feeling good with him (which puts him in a good position, and makes better). I now know, he just doesn't care. There is a line between ignoring and putting somebody on mute.
Hi!
First of all, im really sorry about what you are going through...
You shouldn't care about what he is thinking or feeling, just take the time to heal an move on.
You are over thinking this too much, he is just a guy who chatted with you for few month, is not like you were in a relationship or anything, even tho it might had felt this way for you.
As a gem i can get very open with someone online or in real flesh, yet it doesn't mean for me that i own then anything... is just having fun and seeing where things can get... when the other person starts to get intense, i will take few steps back and think about how much im willing to put into it. if my answer is no, i will just leave, without saying a word nor giving any closure, i just hate to do so.
You have to stop writing to him, ASAP.
When you 'putted him in a good position' trying to get an answer, well it just push him further back, see, we can read the manipulation and we sure hate that (like everybody else).
I don't think you will get anything else from him, if he was willing to make things work out or have a good closure, he would've done it already.
i really hope you get the chance to learn from this experience and move on, you will meet someone along the way, i assure you that.
My Mother taught me at an early age that if you want a man to respect you, you don't give away your self respect.
I don't care if you communicated with this guy for 3 months. You gave away your self respect in one quick click of your mouse.
I know young women in their teens who have more dignity that you do.
Nothing matters about what he did. NOTHING. This ones ALL ON YOU. And it backfired.
If you thinks that harsh, so be it. It's truth.
Please. She didn't give away her self-respect in one click of the mouse. She got caught up in a fantasy and made a mistake. I'm glad your mother taught you self-respect but compassion is just as important.
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I am a Libra lady, and and started a very romances communication with a Gemini man round August this year. We didn't talk a lot, only written messages on Skype, but we linked in a way. He found me attractive and I send him my nude pictures, because I really liked him a lot. They were mostly made in a fun mood, nothing vulgar. And I expected him to be more open after it, but he didn't. I had dreams about him, so I really think that we somehow linked. Well, one day I was quite depressed and sad some nasty words (mood swing), and then I apologize to him. But he didn't write down, nor gave me a second chance. And one day, out of blue, he just deleted me from hid contacts (after 3 months) WITHOUT A SINGLE WORD.
My problem is that I am a Scorpio moon and third decan Libra, so I analyze very much, and if someone is not willing to give me any feedback and trying to play tricksters I get really angry. I even wrote him down, that I would like to be his true girlfriend and lover.
We are more than 30 years old, and it's not a young teenage crush nor some game. To me it could be a real romance. We live far distant from each other,but I don't believe that that would be a problem if someone liked you.
Knowing that he is smart, he is probably using some weird way of making me nervous, without reason. And it is a mental thing. He has an Aquarius moon, and is detached, but has a kind of passive aggression. I wrote him down from 3 different address, and it is not fair.
Ending in that CRUEL way is being very childish and irresponsible and immature. I am hurt, because I send him my intimacy, and he didn't even give me a closure. Now, I don't know what to do.