CarRiderGirl
@CarRiderGirl
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 45 · Topics: 15
Getting that divorce
Congratulations! Get some rest and start planning the rest of your life without him!
Life is too short to waste ut with a gemni!
Life is too short to waste ut with a gemni!
I know it's hard, but how much can we women take? Before we break down literally..For some it takes awhile, for some asap, but it just depends on the circumstances and the pros and cons.
But go do things and really stick to it no matter what..once I left my ex I never looked back.. I went to school and got my A.S. degree in Math and Science. And went back to school for Surgical Technologist, which I graduated from that too at different paces... good luck car..
But go do things and really stick to it no matter what..once I left my ex I never looked back.. I went to school and got my A.S. degree in Math and Science. And went back to school for Surgical Technologist, which I graduated from that too at different paces... good luck car..
No need to bash, grow up.
@FDTW...it's about being in a more positive space right now amidst all the negativity. We woman often do more than we should and often loose ourselves at least for a while, but I've seen this with a few men as well.
@OP, I'm sorry that you have to go through this especially since it was not what you would have preferred. However you must focus on yourself. I learned the hard way and spent years trying to make something work to my detriment and he was a scorpio with a capricorn moon.
He was just as messed up as newsflash......everybody else. Just in a different way. Yup, pros and cons, the question is can one live with the cons?
It's a human thing and signs don't really matter in the end because when someone is damaged, they just are and it's not your responsibility to fix them. It's one thing to be supportive, but not when it causes so much pain as regular everyday things become such a battle to just be normal. It's complicated and yet simple at the same time. 🙂 You'll be ok if you don't allow what's happening to keep you in the same place. 🙂
@OP, I'm sorry that you have to go through this especially since it was not what you would have preferred. However you must focus on yourself. I learned the hard way and spent years trying to make something work to my detriment and he was a scorpio with a capricorn moon.
He was just as messed up as newsflash......everybody else. Just in a different way. Yup, pros and cons, the question is can one live with the cons?
It's a human thing and signs don't really matter in the end because when someone is damaged, they just are and it's not your responsibility to fix them. It's one thing to be supportive, but not when it causes so much pain as regular everyday things become such a battle to just be normal. It's complicated and yet simple at the same time. 🙂 You'll be ok if you don't allow what's happening to keep you in the same place. 🙂
Now that you have made a decision, you'll start to feel better and stronger. It will be hard, but stick to the plan and goal. The goal is to be happy, right? I think for a capricorn, making a decision and having a goal is what we thrive on.
Best decision I made was asking my cheating gem to leave. Oh, the divorce was ugly and he was vindictive and just an ass. It's all over now. After he left, I found my self esteem, my strength and for the first time in 20 years I felt like myself again. A year later, I found happiness with my aqua. I'm also more financially comfortable than I ever was with the gem. I'm just saying this to give you courage and strength.
I'm sorry you've had this experience. I wish you luck and if things get ugly in your divorce, you can always message me. I'll listen and offer support. I've been there. There's another cap I found on this board who was married to a gem and our experiences were almost identical and it helped me a lot knowing I'm not the only one who has gone through it.
Best decision I made was asking my cheating gem to leave. Oh, the divorce was ugly and he was vindictive and just an ass. It's all over now. After he left, I found my self esteem, my strength and for the first time in 20 years I felt like myself again. A year later, I found happiness with my aqua. I'm also more financially comfortable than I ever was with the gem. I'm just saying this to give you courage and strength.
I'm sorry you've had this experience. I wish you luck and if things get ugly in your divorce, you can always message me. I'll listen and offer support. I've been there. There's another cap I found on this board who was married to a gem and our experiences were almost identical and it helped me a lot knowing I'm not the only one who has gone through it.
Sorry, I am not bashing anyone, just giving positive outcomes and options on focusing on her..
:::: shakes head ::::
Your eyes were fucking closed shut, no how much support you got in here.
it wasn't until I verbally punched you in the face that your eyes opened.
Oh, and I will have to go look at your history because I do believe you said it was your decision to go to therapy.
Let's hope I'm wrong, and you're not lying again
Posted by CarRiderGirl
Wants to quit his job because it's too busy and he wants more down time with no other job lined up and no money to really survive.
Quit his job?
So .... you two don't own a business together like you've said previously?
How many sides of your mouth do you talk out of?
Posted by P-AngelPosted by CarRiderGirl
Wants to quit his job because it's too busy and he wants more down time with no other job lined up and no money to really survive.
Quit his job?
So .... you two don't own a business together like you've said previously?
How many sides of your mouth do you talk out of?click to expand
Hmmmmm.....good observation.
utely agree, Feby.
So long as she actually uses all of this to mend herself, and not just to get validation so she can continue stepping in the same pile of shit.
Posted by CarRiderGirl
.... we have been married for 2 years. We are also running a business together.
Honesty seems to be something you have a problem with.
Posted by CarRiderGirl
My boyfriend asking what's up, him playfully .....
click to expand
On the Relationship board, you referred to him as your boyfriend.
why so many lies?
A woman who has been married for 2 years, isn't going to slip up and call him her "boyfriend"
I don't see how you (or anyone else) expects you to come out of this ordeal (or any ordeal) .... if you make shit up.
If a person isn't being real with themselves, and so feels compelled to project this outward with intention of getting others to sympathize with you, so you can comfortably pad the inside of your delusion ..... then I don't get how they are learning anything, growing in any way.
The only thing you accomplish is furthering your psychosis.
Be real. Tell people the truth, and then you would actually be able to utilize their input. As it stands now, nothing anyone says helps you in any way, since you tell us a story, rather than the real circumstances of your plight.
My suggestion would be that you put everything on hold, and go see a psychologist on your own ... just to have someone to talk to help you see your path. How do expect to walk through your life if you can't even see the fucking road?
Bravo p!
Here's some explanations for Mr or Mrs P-Angel here.
1- He was my boyfriend when that old highschool friend started talking to him. We then got married, he started talking to her after our marriage as my husband recently.
Is that clearer for you?
2- We do run a business together, but due to it's nature, work done on specific type of cars, it's a niche business, we only run most of it in late spring, summer and early fall. We do minimal work at our garage during the winter and we get other jobs for a few months since we have 0 customers for about 4 months due to the snow. In the winter we order parts, plan our workload for the spring summer and early fall.
Right now he's a mechanic in a shop that is not ours, I'm an interior designer assistant and work with a friends.
Is that clearer for you?
I hope so
1- He was my boyfriend when that old highschool friend started talking to him. We then got married, he started talking to her after our marriage as my husband recently.
Is that clearer for you?
2- We do run a business together, but due to it's nature, work done on specific type of cars, it's a niche business, we only run most of it in late spring, summer and early fall. We do minimal work at our garage during the winter and we get other jobs for a few months since we have 0 customers for about 4 months due to the snow. In the winter we order parts, plan our workload for the spring summer and early fall.
Right now he's a mechanic in a shop that is not ours, I'm an interior designer assistant and work with a friends.
Is that clearer for you?
I hope so
P: Think I'm crazy all you want, just because you don't understand what I said doesn't mean I need a psychiatrist.
Plus, I'm here to know how to handle him as a Gemini man who beg me to stay when I want to give him exactly what he's been asking for months. I want to understand why, as it's something Gem do from what I understand.
Plus, I'm here to know how to handle him as a Gemini man who beg me to stay when I want to give him exactly what he's been asking for months. I want to understand why, as it's something Gem do from what I understand.
In case you're telling the truth and not a troll, I'll say my thoughts on the issue.
You need to continue to be open with him. Let him know that you want a divorce for yourself. It seems you've asked him what he wants and he's said no, he wants to stay with you. It might confuse him after recent therapy visits/his attempts (though the attempts wouldn't have had to happen if he didn't mess up in the first place) at sticking to what the therapists asks and after conversations with you about wanting you in his life. But, you need to tell him how you feel and how the situation is affecting you and that you want this. If you've only been married two years and already have these issues, that's not a good sign for long term marriage. It may get better...he may mature...but I think it's more likely that it'll get worse. I've seen it happen, myself. As the years go on, the person who did less in the beginning does even less. Going out with friends on the weekend turns into going out with friends every night. The person I'm thinking of in this situation is also a gemini (who, I don't think is necessarily a bad person, but he's not much of a family person) Maybe some time apart from him will be good for you, but if you do leave him, you have to be prepared to cut yourself off from him emotionally. Maybe he'll do more than flirt/respond to those girls once he's divorced. No matter how much he says he needs you or wants you in his life, you have to understand that you two don't owe each other exclusivity once divorced.
In the end, I do agree with your decision to leave, but you do have to make sure you're ready.
You need to continue to be open with him. Let him know that you want a divorce for yourself. It seems you've asked him what he wants and he's said no, he wants to stay with you. It might confuse him after recent therapy visits/his attempts (though the attempts wouldn't have had to happen if he didn't mess up in the first place) at sticking to what the therapists asks and after conversations with you about wanting you in his life. But, you need to tell him how you feel and how the situation is affecting you and that you want this. If you've only been married two years and already have these issues, that's not a good sign for long term marriage. It may get better...he may mature...but I think it's more likely that it'll get worse. I've seen it happen, myself. As the years go on, the person who did less in the beginning does even less. Going out with friends on the weekend turns into going out with friends every night. The person I'm thinking of in this situation is also a gemini (who, I don't think is necessarily a bad person, but he's not much of a family person) Maybe some time apart from him will be good for you, but if you do leave him, you have to be prepared to cut yourself off from him emotionally. Maybe he'll do more than flirt/respond to those girls once he's divorced. No matter how much he says he needs you or wants you in his life, you have to understand that you two don't owe each other exclusivity once divorced.
In the end, I do agree with your decision to leave, but you do have to make sure you're ready.
Posted by Scenic
In case you're telling the truth and not a troll, I'll say my thoughts on the issue.
You need to continue to be open with him. Let him know that you want a divorce for yourself. It seems you've asked him what he wants and he's said no, he wants to stay with you. It might confuse him after recent therapy visits/his attempts (though the attempts wouldn't have had to happen if he didn't mess up in the first place) at sticking to what the therapists asks and after conversations with you about wanting you in his life. But, you need to tell him how you feel and how the situation is affecting you and that you want this. If you've only been married two years and already have these issues, that's not a good sign for long term marriage. It may get better...he may mature...but I think it's more likely that it'll get worse. I've seen it happen, myself. As the years go on, the person who did less in the beginning does even less. Going out with friends on the weekend turns into going out with friends every night. The person I'm thinking of in this situation is also a gemini (who, I don't think is necessarily a bad person, but he's not much of a family person) Maybe some time apart from him will be good for you, but if you do leave him, you have to be prepared to cut yourself off from him emotionally. Maybe he'll do more than flirt/respond to those girls once he's divorced. No matter how much he says he needs you or wants you in his life, you have to understand that you two don't owe each other exclusivity once divorced.
In the end, I do agree with your decision to leave, but you do have to make sure you're ready.
Thank you for the honest answer.
One of the reason we've been together so long he said, is because I've always been blunt and direct. He liked it and it made him open up. Cause he knew and didn't had the confusion most women have. If I was pissed, or angry or happy. I told him clearly.
The typical What's wrong? Nothing I'm fine! women? That's not me at all. Things started going bad when we hit a plateau. When we felt force being a couple. Acting like one. We both hated it.
During therapy, we were asked to respect each other spaces and it started going well again. We had amazing sex again, which is very important for us. Until I learned about the other girl. It was a big set back.
I told him tonight we would talk and he agreed, and I
will tell him how I feel*
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Sorry, I am not bashing anyone, just giving positive outcomes and options on focusing on her..
Not you.
"I think her story has been consistent throughout her entire posting history and people are arguing semantics."
I agree.
Also she holds a good balance between giving feedback/explanations and let-them-haters-talk-how-much-they-want.
A good Cap behavior. Follow your own goal, don't fall for provocations.
I agree.
Also she holds a good balance between giving feedback/explanations and let-them-haters-talk-how-much-they-want.
A good Cap behavior. Follow your own goal, don't fall for provocations.
Posted by e11e
I think her story has been consistent throughout her entire posting history and people are arguing semantics. smh.
I agree too. And it is eerily similar to what I went through with my ex gem. Not completely, but there are enough parallels to bring back some memories.
Posted by CarRiderGirl
.... we have 0 customers for about 4 months due to the snow.
Of course .... because all auto mechanic shops have to close when it snows. Especially the shops that are indoors, it snows like hell inside of there.
Posted by CarRiderGirl
Update: We saw the therapist yesterday and she ripped him a new one. She made him message that girl in front of us asking her to leave us alone, saying he had a moment of weakness that won't happen again, asked that this girl respect our relationship. Our therapist completely took my side and she explained that his actions are his responsibility. Not mine, not my fault and that it was all his. Said my reaction was normal. He started crying and asked for my forgiveness. She told him that it's his duty as my husband to take my side.
The therapist also asked me to message that girl and confront her. Which I have yet to do because I don't know what to say to her. What do you say to a girl who doesn't care about marriage?
I don't know why you even made this thread ... after all, the problem was already solved by the therapist.
Well P-Angel, I explained things and answered your concerns. No matter what I say, you'll twist and find a way to make me look bad. Seems to be something you like to do here. Pick on people over details because you don't understand something. You called me a troll, I think you're it 🙂
Posted by CarRiderGirl
Well P-Angel, I explained things and answered your concerns. No matter what I say, you'll twist and find a way to make me look bad. Seems to be something you like to do here. Pick on people over details because you don't understand something. You called me a troll, I think you're it 🙂
You make yourself look bad ... I just point it out for those who are incapable of seeing the whole picture.
You making the post about the therapist, pretty much was the nail in the coffin.
But, of course ... you aren't expected to have enough wits to get that, because if you did, well .... you would have known to be embarrassed. But, you don't know that.
I would suspect that he probably realizes you're that dumb, though.
Some men actually want stupid women like you .... because you're too stupid to realize you shouldn't be treated like shit, and so you stick around to believe every bullshit word that comes out of his mouth.
Look at the evidence you've presented here to prove it right .... he treats you like shit, even having other women on the side ... and you're hanging onto every crumb he throws your way.
That's because you're an idiot, and some men like to keep females like that because you're too stupid to leave him.
You have proven that over and over in here.
Again .... you aren't expected to have enough wits to get that.
Posted by P-AngelPosted by CarRiderGirl
.... we have 0 customers for about 4 months due to the snow.
Of course .... because all auto mechanic shops have to close when it snows. Especially the shops that are indoors, it snows like hell inside of there.click to expand
You crack me up, P!
That was just funny right there.
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Even his mom called me last night. Gem husband went to his parents to help them, they're both disabled, and she went through his phone while he was busy. Saw fights through texts. She called and asked me to leave her son alone because I'm bad person forcing him into therapy (His idea BTW, not mine) and he's very unhappy with me. When he got home, we talked about what his mom did and he said his mom disrespected him, he even said he won't go to their house for a while because of it.
It's just too much.
Ever since he's been telling me he can't take it anymore, I've been telling him I'm ok with breaks or to leave for him to get his freedom, be himself, or get better without me ruining his life since it's what he thinks. Told him things like, It'll be ok, I promise. I'm fine! You'll be fine! You won't be force into things you don't wanna do anymore! Just like look, it's not working out at all, let's end this! Everyone's right. We're just too in it to see it.
Everytime, he said no no no, don't leave. I need you. I won't accept it. I refuse. Just won't let me leave at all. It's giving me anxiety. Goes into full panic mode. Then start saying he's happy with me and love me, only for him to act like he's not and do shit like, talk to his exes and what not. He's getting destructive to himself too. Wants to quit his job because it's too busy and he wants more down time with no other job lined up and no money to really survive.
When I left to go to friends when it got very bad and wanted out, I ignored him so he get the message. That was it, the beginning of the divorce. He turned very posse