Jealous/possesive Gemini ?! Help please!

Post a picture of yourself with current time and date. No, really. There's a method to this madness, right Gems? 😉

Because maybe he is accepting this 'open relationship' because deep inside he really wants to be with you and right now at this point in time, being in an open relationship is the only way he can be close and intimate with you (and I dont just mean sexually) so he is agreeing to this but when he gets jealous and posessive etc its because he is hurt that you are chasing other men.

All I know is that when a gemini likes someone, when we have feelings for them etc, we WANT TO BE WITH THEM and no one else. We DONT want an open relationships, we want to be with the other person and no other third parties involved in the situation.

Well hell at least thats what im like.

I for one, can not STAND when I am giving myself to someone and they are off chasing other people. If your with me, your with me and thats it otherwise if im giving myself to you and your off chasing others I get jealous, snappy, posessive etc and then turn cold on you and leave ur ass.

KINDERK - how does your moon in aries and mars sag play out?? Do they make you want to be in open relationships and run at the sound of commitment? Im not trying to offend you either if its looking that way lol. Im generally curious.

yea, sounds like he agreed to an open relationship just to make you happy.... doesn't mean he has to like it, and it sounds like he doesn't. i wouldn't either, tbh.

I think it's cool, GM. Kinderk's posts go back to 2006.

I once agreed to an open relationship (with a Libra) because it was the only way I could be with him. I wanted only him, so it was incredibly painful. Like everyone said, it sounds like he's doing what he needs to do to keep you, but is having a hard time with it. Maybe it sounded good in theory to him, but the reality is harder to handle than he anticipated.


I'm surprise a Scorp wants an open relationship. Are Scorp females less prone to jealousy than the guys?

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by misslissa
yea, sounds like he agreed to an open relationship just to make you happy.... doesn't mean he has to like it, and it sounds like he doesn't. i wouldn't either, tbh.

Yep, Territory ftw !

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*giggles* exactly! 😄

haha! too cute!

what does "open" relationship mean anyway?

does it mean we go together but we can Fack around on each other....thats not a relationship of any sort if you ask me.

how can you reassure a person you care about them but then you cheat on them?

I would be mad at you too...my gem is also possessive but I love it.

Sorry you cant have it both ways.

Posted by Whimsy
I think it's cool, GM. Kinderk's posts go back to 2006.

I once agreed to an open relationship (with a Libra) because it was the only way I could be with him. I wanted only him, so it was incredibly painful. Like everyone said, it sounds like he's doing what he needs to do to keep you, but is having a hard time with it. Maybe it sounded good in theory to him, but the reality is harder to handle than he anticipated.


I'm surprise a Scorp wants an open relationship. Are Scorp females less prone to jealousy than the guys?

Oh, ok.

I would be surprised too, but from what I know about Scorp women is that if it's sexual and doesn't involve the heart, then it's cool.

But, the guy seems like he is trying to be pleasing, so it makes sense that his feelings are now involved.

But what the hell is going on with Mars and Pluto this month? Damn!

well can you not see where he is coming from? i mean if i fully dedicated myself to the girl i loved, no shit id expect the exact same from her,otherwise id be hurt too. im not sure i understand what you guys mean by open relationship...but if its being together in public and displaying affection in public i dont see why anyone would not want that with someone they love..its like who the hell cares? maybe im not seeing it right?

wait so mean open relationship as in being together, but also being able to do things with other people? thats not really a relationship and if this is so you guys need to work this out yourselves..

Posted by kinderk
an open relationship is when you love your partner and are committed to them, yet you both allow each other to be physical with other people, whatever that means. the limits are for you to discuss. the way to a successful open relationship is through trust and honesty.

to have anything physical with someone else, while im in a relationship with someone i love, would just be out of the question, not only because i woulnd't want to, but also for the other obvious reasons.lol, but to each their own i suppose

Taking the actual issue of open relationships out of the equation so i dont get bogged down thinking I could never do that.....I'd say you're giving that Gemini a taste of his own medicine by giving him exactly what he asked for. Seems he doesn't like it quite so much now. Probably because he has deeper feelings for you than he did the previous gal.

its not healthy to have an open relationship...someone will end up getting hurt.

Please dont let the gemini want to get back at you because of this...you will be left hanging out to dry.

Posted by dward417
its not healthy to have an open relationship...someone will end up getting hurt.

Please dont let the gemini want to get back at you because of this...you will be left hanging out to dry.

\

"get back at me" —! he's the one who wanted an open relationship in the first place.

Yeah I'd talk to him and be brutally honest. Because if you aren't both still on the same page it wont work out any way. And if y'all are both testing each other and playing games you're doomed.

Posted by kinderk

Posted by GeminiDahl
Yeah I'd talk to him and be brutally honest. Because if you aren't both still on the same page it wont work out any way. And if y'all are both testing each other and playing games you're doomed.

I don't want to play games! I want honesty. But I feel like he's playing with me and I can't back down from a challenge. We play until both of us feel freaked out and show our cards and become vulnerable and love each other and then a week, two weeks later we're at it again. At least it's never boring, I guess.

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I had a relationship like that and IMO it is a destructive and very unhealthy cycle. Maybe you two can split and work on yourselves for a while and try having a relationship with each other some time in the future if you guys have broken the cycle. Start fresh later without all the testing.

You can try but you said yourself you both freak out and get open and honest with each other but a few weeks later its back to the same old stuff. You're going to have to figure a way to approach this differently if you want a different result. I still believe that if he has changed his mind and does not want an open relationship then it wont work no matter what.


From what you wrote it does seem to me like he has deeper feelings for you or it wouldn't bother him. But be careful in possibly projecting your feelings onto him. I can tell you that I have been accused of being secretive and hiding my emotions when the truth was I lost my feelings for someone and became indifferent after so much game playing on their part. So while they continued on and thought I was ignoring them and not opening up to try and teach them a lesson, I was really just done and gone.

Ok. Best of luck.

Kinderk, I wanted to say something else about my open relationship. Maybe it'll help. Long story short: eventually the Libra decided he wanted to be only with me, but by then it was ME who wanted the open relationship, so we continued. Problems arose from my side when it became obvious that we had different ideas about what was acceptable. I thought it was acceptable to sleep with people with whom we had a deep bond of friendship and love, and he thought it was acceptable to pick up girls in random places. I felt that he was violating the spirit of what we were trying to do, and would get upset. I also felt he wasn't great at honoring the primary relationship. What it really boiled down to was that neither of us was cut out for that life style , but it was what it was. Maybe he's having issues with the way you're handling your business and a big conversation about what you both expect is in order. Maybe he thought he was okay with his choice, but he isn't, and doesn't know how to reverse it without upsetting you or losing you. Maybe he feels that his being open is no big deal, but is insecure about your being open.

You're welcome. I don't know about other Gems, but sometimes things sound perfect to me in theory, but then the reality isn't quite what I expected or wanted, and I discover that my reactions are much different than anticipated. Even though the idea still sounds right. If that makes sense.

This will end badly for you Scorp. Sorry, it will, cuz you're playing with an H-Bomb here. He will vanish into thin air. No pun intended. It doesn't matter what you two agreed on. He'll change his mind at some point, not tell you, give you hints to figure it out, get annoyed when you don't, and his attitude towards you will simply change. You will get hurt in this one. In other words, you have to conform to his thought processes. It's almost impossible, but absolutely necessary. That's if you want it to work. Open relationship my ass! I can't see a Gemini man doing "Open". I can see him fucking around and bullshittin though. Are you being played? Something ain't right here.

:::: shakes head ::::




People really are that stupid.

I know that people get angry with me for saying that ... but .... people really are that stupid.

Posted by wineaux
i stumbled across this article from a counselor in berkeley...maybe it might help? and i also agree that i think he wants something more concrete and that he's going along with the status quo in hopes that you'll change it.

managing jealousy in open relationships

Thanks, pretty good article.

Posted by P-Angel
:::: shakes head ::::




People really are that stupid.

I know that people get angry with me for saying that ... but .... people really are that stupid.

What are you referring to?

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Like swingers/couples holed up in suburbia, throw their keys in a bowl, the other sex picks one and that's who they're going home with :/
bleurgh🙂

Yes I'm pretty sure it's like that in the moviee/real life if you're a bored middle aged couple holed up in suburbia. Not to diss bored middle aged suburban couples..

Posted by kinderk

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Like swingers/couples holed up in suburbia, throw their keys in a bowl, the other sex picks one and that's who they're going home with :/
bleurgh🙂

Yes I'm pretty sure it's like that in the moviee/real life if you're a bored middle aged couple holed up in suburbia. Not to diss bored middle aged suburban couples..

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moviee=movies

Posted by everevolvingepithet
It's not really a relationship though is it, it's people thinking they're cooler and more open minded than they are, but being totally wrong ha

I'm glad somebody said it.

Posted by kinderk

Posted by dward417
its not healthy to have an open relationship...someone will end up getting hurt.

Please dont let the gemini want to get back at you because of this...you will be left hanging out to dry.

\

"get back at me" —! he's the one who wanted an open relationship in the first place.

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I don't think he was the one who wanted it.. coz you gave us this mix messages. if i'm reading those comments above on the top of page 2, you said he was the one who brought it up, but on the bottom or the page 3, you said you are the one who first ask him about it, and he just agreed. Anyway.. whose idea is it?

My bf is a gem, I am a leo. Gem tend to play mind games, sometimes they agreed not because of they really agreed with the situation. They just want to see your expression and reaction towards the question by his answer or testing you if they can trust you or not. It's like "Uh oh she ask this, if i answer this, what is her reaction?"..

My bf plays this for quite sometime, and he realize that isn't good, but he still do it thou. He wants to see my positive reaction, attitude or actually he is questioning my loyalty, and trust, can you be trusted or not. kind f question..

So, no offence, I think he was just testing you by answering that. no matter you said that he brought it up, but you are the one who asked him, right? (My bf agreeing all i asked him to do, to buy, for everything i wanted, till after a year, he realize that he forgot to think about himself, and was very stupid doing all the thing for me without considering about himself first whether he can do it or not. Gladly since I am an independent leo, I always ask him to be himself, and said to him that i will be not happy if he is doing too much for me without considering himself from the start, and now he knows that was bad.. hahahaha.. Anyway.. all you have to do is talk..

Posted by DoubleGem2
The thread will soon read,,,, I'm pregnant and I dont know who the baby daddy is....

thank you for your mature response

I don't know about Love, but for a Leo, Love is doing something for the sake of your partner happiness eventhough without considering your own happiness.

in your case.. he loved you, so he agreed with you without considering what he wanted, he wanted to see if you would change your mind after he agreed with it after several months maybe...but no, you let it happen without considering about him. all you want to do just doing for your own happiness but not for the sake of him. I don't think anybody likes to be in an open relationship (maybe you do, maybe not him)...

So, are you sure you really love him? maybe you both love each other.. but maybe he is not for you.
Both of you have two different mind in two direction, a good relationship is two people, two mind in one direction... 🙂

I don't know.. that's how i see it, really no offend.

Posted by kinderk

Posted by Landakzzz
I don't know about Love, but for a Leo, Love is doing something for the sake of your partner happiness eventhough without considering your own happiness.

in your case.. he loved you, so he agreed with you without considering what he wanted, he wanted to see if you would change your mind after he agreed with it after several months maybe...but no, you let it happen without considering about him. all you want to do just doing for your own happiness but not for the sake of him. I don't think anybody likes to be in an open relationship (maybe you do, maybe not him)...

So, are you sure you really love him? maybe you both love each other.. but maybe he is not for you.
Both of you have two different mind in two direction, a good relationship is two people, two mind in one direction... 🙂

I don't know.. that's how i see it, really no offend.

You're way off. Did you read my response at all? His last three relationships were open and he said to me on a number of occasions "If I ever date anyone again it will have to be open.". So naturally when we got involved it was something I brought up, not out of selfishness but because I sensed that he might feel uncomfortable bringing it up even though that's what he wanted.

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Yeps, sorry.. I post this before I read your post on my first reply.

Yeps.. maybe he just changed his mind.. communication is the best. Just be positive, they prefer that way. Put himself on the top. As you know, gem likes adventure, creative, three long term relationship were open, maybe he just wanted to change the relationship style . Maybe you can be more flexible to him thou. ^_^

Posted by Landakzzz
Yeps.. maybe he just changed his mind.. communication is the best. Just be positive, they prefer that way. Put himself on the top. As you know, gem likes adventure, creative, three long term relationship were open, maybe he just wanted to change the relationship style . Maybe you can be more flexible to him thou. ^_^

Thanks, I didn't mean to sound like a jerk.

Posted by ImpressMe
OP I really think you like when he gets jealous and act the fool because you feel loved and appreciated. You have no intentions on being with someone else and you knew that from the get-go. I don't believe for one minute you want an open relationship with his man. You just wanted to beat him at his own game, lol.

The gems were on point.

Real talk.

Posted by kinderk

Posted by Landakzzz
Yeps.. maybe he just changed his mind.. communication is the best. Just be positive, they prefer that way. Put himself on the top. As you know, gem likes adventure, creative, three long term relationship were open, maybe he just wanted to change the relationship style . Maybe you can be more flexible to him thou. ^_^

Thanks, I didn't mean to sound like a jerk.

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That's alright.. 🙂 I didn't take it personally thou.. 🙂 understand your feeling, coz one of my friends long time ago also a scorpio, and she also had the relationship with the gemini guy. LOL.. at least I understand how she was going through with it. Goodluck for you kinderk.. 🙂

Posted by GeminiMind

Posted by ImpressMe
OP I really think you like when he gets jealous and act the fool because you feel loved and appreciated. You have no intentions on being with someone else and you knew that from the get-go. I don't believe for one minute you want an open relationship with his man. You just wanted to beat him at his own game, lol.

The gems were on point.

Real talk.

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LOL