Me and My Gem went to Vegas..

I think you'll have to settle for us ladies. Unless our one resident male wanders by......

LOL! Ok, which two?

Posted by Whimsy
I think you'll have to settle for us ladies. Unless our one resident male wanders by......

oh well any one works...didn't mean to imply only men 🙂 what are your thoughts?

Posted by auriqa

Posted by Whimsy
I think you'll have to settle for us ladies. Unless our one resident male wanders by......

I thought we had two Gem males :O

Did one die?

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lol are there are only 2 lol..that is funny..maybe ladies will be better

Posted by auriqa
Yeah, Kraft and Carlos if I'm not mistaken. 🙂

Wow we really need to go recruit some more Gemini men!

lol

My ex husband (gem) was always the jealous type. Would rudely put the other man in his place and tell me I was too naive for my own good.

Gems are definitely the jealous type, but I don't know if it's because they're into you or it's just an ego thing or if they want to feel like they have the upper hand or if it's the idea of competition. Maybe a combination of all the above.

Posted by truecap
My ex husband (gem) was always the jealous type. Would rudely put the other man in his place and tell me I was too naive for my own good.

Gems are definitely the jealous type, but I don't know if it's because they're into you or it's just an ego thing or if they want to feel like they have the upper hand or if it's the idea of competition. Maybe a combination of all the above.

think it was more of like why are you rubbing this mans head..haha..it wasn't super mad..just said something we talked..he was cool..was thinking about all the other things..what is your insigt

Well, Virgom, I think all is well as long as you're ok with what he wants from the relationship. He's been very communicative about what he wants, so at least you know. Are you willing to stay on the same level indefinitely, or would you like more?

Honestly, my insight is that you want a relationship and he has said over and over he doesn't. You care for him more and more the more time you spend with him. I worry that you're setting yourself up to get hurt.

As soon as a Gem finds a shiny new object they have no qualms switching alliances. My ex husband was good as gold until he wasn't.

Posted by Whimsy
Well, Virgom, I think all is well as long as you're ok with what he wants from the relationship. He's been very communicative about what he wants, so at least you know. Are you willing to stay on the same level indefinitely, or would you like more?

Of course in the back of my head I do want more...however the more I lean toward relationship the more tense I get...So Im a mixed bag with this one..I don't want to pressure him into committing..that is his thing..part of me feel like if I just be patient with him everything will just fall in place..that is what my gut tells me..I guess I am just wondering what his going on in his head? or will i ever know..

Posted by virgom

Posted by truecap
My ex husband (gem) was always the jealous type. Would rudely put the other man in his place and tell me I was too naive for my own good.

Gems are definitely the jealous type, but I don't know if it's because they're into you or it's just an ego thing or if they want to feel like they have the upper hand or if it's the idea of competition. Maybe a combination of all the above.

think it was more of like why are you rubbing this mans head..haha..it wasn't super mad..just said something we talked..he was cool..was thinking about all the other things..what is your insigt

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Instead of seeing it for what it was, he felt the need to say something and make you have a conversation about it. He doesn't want a serious relationship, so he should have kept his mouth shut and sucked it up - none of his business who you talk to.

*shrugs*
Just my opinion on these men who want their cake and want to eat it too.

Posted by truecap
Honestly, my insight is that you want a relationship and he has said over and over he doesn't. You care for him more and more the more time you spend with him. I worry that you're setting yourself up to get hurt.

As soon as a Gem finds a shiny new object they have no qualms switching alliances. My ex husband was good as gold until he wasn't.

someone can say one thing and do another...I feel like there are so many contradictions..meeting his family? when i say leave me alone he gets rather distraught and leaves the state saying there was no reason for him to stay? these are confusing to me..

Sorry, I didn't mean to go all negative. I just like you from what you've posted so far and want you go into it with your eyes wide open.

Besides, I'm a little bit opinionated (cappy moon).

Posted by virgom

Posted by truecap
Honestly, my insight is that you want a relationship and he has said over and over he doesn't. You care for him more and more the more time you spend with him. I worry that you're setting yourself up to get hurt.

As soon as a Gem finds a shiny new object they have no qualms switching alliances. My ex husband was good as gold until he wasn't.

someone can say one thing and do another...I feel like there are so many contradictions..meeting his family? when i say leave me alone he gets rather distraught and leaves the state saying there was no reason for him to stay? these are confusing to me..

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Yep, they say one thing and the next day they have a whole different opinion. I couldn't stand the inconsistency. That's one of the reasons we're not married anymore.

@virgom...you have to be firm with him and stick to it. When someone keeps going back and forth they can only do so if you allow it. If you want the behaviour to stop, be the kind of woman that won't put up with it.

@trucap...you're biased, but it's understandable....18 years, yep. But this kind of behaviour has more or less been described in all forums.

*truecap

Posted by gemeliorist
@@trucap...you're biased, but it's understandable....18 years, yep. But this kind of behaviour has more or less been described in all forums.

I meant to add a little prejudiced on cap men, as well. lol!

But, it's been long enough now that I can look at things more clearly and rationally than I once did. I had my faults too, as well. I'm no longer bitter or angry.

Posted by truecap

Posted by gemeliorist
@@trucap...you're biased, but it's understandable....18 years, yep. But this kind of behaviour has more or less been described in all forums.

I meant to add a little prejudiced on cap men, as well. lol!

But, it's been long enough now that I can look at things more clearly and rationally than I once did. I had my faults too, as well. I'm no longer bitter or angry.

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I said cap, I meant Gemini. Oops.

Posted by gemeliorist
@virgom...you have to be firm with him and stick to it. When someone keeps going back and forth they can only do so if you allow it. If you want the behaviour to stop, be the kind of woman that won't put up with it.

@trucap...you're biased, but it's understandable....18 years, yep. But this kind of behaviour has more or less been described in all forums.

I know gemerliorist...just wondering for any in sight into his mind..does any of this mean anything...or

He might have just wanted to go to Vegas. That 100% sounds like something I would do: use an argument to say "Screw you, I'll do what I want", only to find it's not quite as enjoyable to do alone. The stereotype about Gems that's true is that we rarely hold grudges or worry about arguments too long, so I'm not surprised he sent for you,

Posted by Whimsy
He might have just wanted to go to Vegas. That 100% sounds like something I would do: use an argument to say "Screw you, I'll do what I want", only to find it's not quite as enjoyable to do alone. The stereotype about Gems that's true is that we rarely hold grudges or worry about arguments too long, so I'm not surprised he sent for you,

okay I get that...meeting family? also not something I should read into?

Posted by truecap
Sorry, I didn't mean to go all negative. I just like you from what you've posted so far and want you go into it with your eyes wide open.

Besides, I'm a little bit opinionated (cappy moon).

yes that is all I am asking for a run down on geminis in love and friendship type I don't want to be told something to fit my idea in my head.just trying to figure things out..seems like he really does love me am I wrong for thinking this between everything...

Virgom, you seem like such a great person that I'm sorry to keep writing things that are downers. It's just that I think you should really, really take your Gem at his word and not write anything at all into anything. I know how much you want to do that, because I'm the very same way.

I don't doubt that he has love for you, but when a Gem man wants you he will (just like any man) come after you. If he hasn't done that, then he's not sure something better won't come along, and wants to keep you (and his claim on you) alive until he's reached a decision. You're supposed to just hang in limbo until he makes sure you're the best choice. It's kind of insulting, yes? Do you want that for yourself? I think you are gorgeous and smart and deserve a man who understands that and won't risk letting you go.

Posted by Whimsy
Virgom, you seem like such a great person that I'm sorry to keep writing things that are downers. It's just that I think you should really, really take your Gem at his word and not write anything at all into anything. I know how much you want to do that, because I'm the very same way.

I don't doubt that he has love for you, but when a Gem man wants you he will (just like any man) come after you. If he hasn't done that, then he's not sure something better won't come along, and wants to keep you (and his claim on you) alive until he's reached a decision. You're supposed to just hang in limbo until he makes sure you're the best choice. It's kind of insulting, yes? Do you want that for yourself? I think you are gorgeous and smart and deserve a man who understands that and won't risk letting you go.

yes I know I am okay with not being in a relationship with him and being what we are..we are great friends first and foremost I guess my issue is he is just confusing..me I analyze everything so I want to make sure that I am reading him right..I don't' initiate contact with him..he very much chases me..he pursues me then backs off..im over trying to be with him..just trying to figure him out which I don't think I will ever do...lol

Gotcha. Affairs of the heart are so confusing.

Yeah, I think there's a difference between jealous and being territorial. My Scorpio is jealous- he thinks every guy I make eye contact with is a threat. I'm territorial- I don't worry about him and other women unless there is an actual and evident attraction between them.

Posted by Geminivixenn

Posted by truecap
My ex husband (gem) was always the jealous type. Would rudely put the other man in his place and tell me I was too naive for my own good.

Gems are definitely the jealous type, but I don't know if it's because they're into you or it's just an ego thing or if they want to feel like they have the upper hand or if it's the idea of competition. Maybe a combination of all the above.

Gemini's are far from the jealous type, but if we really like you and we see something that's not right in our eyes, then we will take action. But we are far from jealous.. It's more of a loyal thing. You can flirt and do what you want when you want. Just don't do anything stupid or else we will definitely stand our ground.

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SO what should I make of all this? he is so confusing to me..when I back off he pushes...he left for vegas because we got into an argument and I told him to leave me alone...then tells me to come see him..says he didn't think he had anything to stay home for? am I wrong for thinking that he loves me but just can't seem to express because he is scared of being hurt...

Virgom, this situation is only confusing because it's happening to you. It's hard to be objective about something when you yourself are smack in the middle of it. What advice would you give to someone else if they were going through this and you were not?

Posted by Geminivixenn

Posted by truecap
My ex husband (gem) was always the jealous type. Would rudely put the other man in his place and tell me I was too naive for my own good.

Gems are definitely the jealous type, but I don't know if it's because they're into you or it's just an ego thing or if they want to feel like they have the upper hand or if it's the idea of competition. Maybe a combination of all the above.

Gemini's are far from the jealous type, but if we really like you and we see something that's not right in our eyes, then we will take action. But we are far from jealous.. It's more of a loyal thing. You can flirt and do what you want when you want. Just don't do anything stupid or else we will definitely stand our ground.

click to expand

That's not how I have perceived Gems. I have several Gem female friends and they're like "Oh hell no! She ain't talkin' to MY man!" And, my ex was very jealous in a protective way.

There's a reason I've seen so many Gems act this way. Curious as to why.

If it's not jealousy, then is it a competition thing? A possessive thing? An ego thing? A have to have an upper hand on their partner thing?

Maybe Whimsy answered it - could be a territorial thing. That kind of fits a few of the examples I've seen.

Eh, maybe it's just all semantics, anyway. Maybe jealousy is jealousy, and there are just differing degrees of it.

I've been with my man for 8 years, and I've been insanely possessive with only ONE woman (last year, actually).

Everyone from teenagers to middle-aged women hit on my husband everywhere imaginable; more than once, a women stopped at a traffic light has even rolled down her car window to hit on him. I don't care at all- I hope he feels flattered and I enjoy poking fun at him for it. As long as they aren't doing it in front of me, then they aren't knowingly being disrespectful. I know his character, and I don't feel threatened by these random people.

I am possessive around one of our mutual female friends, though. I really believe that she's the type of woman he would ask out if he was not married, and my insecurities rear their ugly heads. The way I behave when I'm being territorial isn't something I'm proud of.