okay Virgo here with a Gemini Man problem

Okay, So I must admit I am addicted to this man, I often wonder if its even healthy but I love him there is nothing that he can do that would make me stop. He is typical Gemini who is not emotional at all and does not show it. He has one time cried in my lap but that was a couple months ago, since then we have been fighting off and on and cannot seem to come to an understanding as to what we are. He sees other woman I thought I could handle it. I cannot..so I have tired to distance myself time and time again however I can't seem to let go, He told me the other day that he was tired and that it was good bye for now..i didn't get that message until today and responded okay bye, however since Thursday we have seen each other and have had sex. which really means nothing because well its just sex. I have not talked to him today and I do not plan on it. My heart literally breaks everyday for him, not just the relationship part but our friendship he is an amazing person we all have issues but they don't seem to bother me. The other day were were drinking and i went through his phone to see what he tells this one girl..totally out of character, he was not made but he told me he was disappointed and the girl that he is gonna be with has to trust him, both of those are really hard for us. says its just a learning experience and hopefully with the next guy won't do it. is this him giving up on me? is there anything that i can say or do to make him trust me or not walk out of my life.

Are you an alcoholic?

This is the typical relationship for a day to day virgo in this generation. I highly suggest you listen to my music, search Psy wisely 1 on YouTube. Moreover, you and your gemini man can't find away to connect because the love is there and not the communication.

umm no I am not I don't drink often at all..I don't even know why i did that we have been friends for 3 years and I have never even thought about it...

Are you even dating him?

Posted by Andalusia
Are you even dating him?

define dating...he is a no label guy..fear of commitment or whatever..all i can say is we have been of and on for 3 years. past year and some change we have been on..was okay with him seeing other girls till We got closer..then it all changed.

There is no way to make him trust, nor to keep him from walking.... He has told you he wants to see other women. You don't agree and that won't make him stop dating either. Time to move on... I wish you the best on your journey of healing. 🙂

Posted by misslissa
There is no way to make him trust, nor to keep him from walking.... He has told you he wants to see other women. You don't agree and that won't make him stop dating either. Time to move on... I wish you the best on your journey of healing. 🙂

the problem is we have been friends so long I don't think its our relationship that I am trying to hold on to.. its our friendship..that the problem can it ever get to be the same?

Posted by misslissa
There is no way to make him trust, nor to keep him from walking.... He has told you he wants to see other women. You don't agree and that won't make him stop dating either. Time to move on... I wish you the best on your journey of healing. 🙂

so how do I salvage our friendship then? this means more to me than any potential relationship

That is something only time can tell...

Posted by misslissa
That is something only time can tell...

Your right I need to just let the chips fall where they may..this is hard because I have no control...he used to be my best friend we could talk about anything..this is a very hard thing to deal with right now... thank you though..

I don't know for sure... But if it were me, you would have to give me time to get over the betrayal. That would be how I would have seen it as. Also, someone already mentioned a communication issue.... Maybe let him know that above all else you don't want to lose a friend. After that, the decision is up to him. If he makes the choice to stay friends with you, it will be at an arms length for some time. If he decides to walk, you have to let him. That choice is his and his alone.

Thank You..yes I feel like we will continue to be friends I see that he has put me at arms length already!! but you are right..if he wants to walk then he can walk..this is the only thing i have ever done to him and he has lied and betrayed be several times..so the way I look at is this if I can be forgiving and allow him to stay and he can't then our friendship didn't mean shit any away

@virgom
Your relationship seems very unusual...you??re not allowing yourself to be treated well....however, since you??re more concerned with the friendship I think he sounds like he's overwhelmed emotionally and you going through his phone didn't help.

Two things that really stood out was him saying goodbye for now rather than just disappearing and also stating his disappointment at your snooping, instead of being harsh and/or dismissive shows some concern for your friendship. Gem??s usually come back once they??ve had some time away or their mood changes for the better. There really isn't much you can do other than to give it time and be encouraging but firm if either one of you reaches out after sometime.

...too cute the little ones and I really hope that they aren't witnessing all of this....but honestly everything is just all blurred....you might want to take some time and focus on yourself because it looks like he has more boundaries than you do....😢

Posted by virgom
He sees other woman... he told me ....the girl that he is gonna be with has to trust him,

He sees other women, but you have to trust him. What? Sounds to me like he wants his cake and wants to eat it too.

Do you see other people? If so, how does he feel about that? Let me guess. Has double standards. Would he like you seeing and sleeping with other men? Hell no, he wouldn't. But its okay for him to do it and you're supposed to sit there with your mouth shut and not get jealous.

Sorry, rant over, but Gem men can be fickle and they really do have double standards.

Maybe tell him you enjoy the friendship and would like to keep seeing him, but you're going to date other guys as well.

Or tell him he has to take an HIV test before you have sex with him again. 😛

You're cute and sweet, Gems are worth saving the friendship. I do miss the friendship I had with my ex. He was fun and lively. Hopefully, yall can be best friends eventually.

Posted by CluelessCancer
Aquas know how to have a good time and are alot less annoying.

Amen!!!!

My aqua outranks the ex-gem any day, any where, any time and any how!!
They're much more rational, more interesting, more interested in what you think, better in the sack, a lot calmer, less ADDHD and way more reliable.

wow too bad your in love w/a gemini. those ppl dont play fair. find an earth sign

so just reading all of these responses and you are all SOOOO right...I have not seen or talked to him on the phone since last Thursday! I have hinted a few times at his games and how I am not interested in playing them..He has been initiating all the contact with me..I feel like he is trying to get me to get pulled back in..he will text me and ask me to see him..I refuse every time, I am at a loss really how to handle this man, I want to just leave him alone however I do value our friendship, yes he has double standards like he can get jealous but I can't, and yes I have told him I am dating other men and he was not happy about it..but he has woman all over. In the beginning we would talk about things like this but he a couple months ago he got secretive so now we do not communicate, when we do talk he seems to take things to the extreme and throw what he thinks I mean in my face which is not what I was thinking at all. and he forgave me the next day about his phone, we talked about it..just want our friendship back..wish we never had sex at all..

Posted by Geminivixenn

Posted by virgom
Okay, So I must admit I am addicted to this man, I often wonder if its even healthy but I love him there is nothing that he can do that would make me stop. He is typical Gemini who is not emotional at all and does not show it. He has one time cried in my lap but that was a couple months ago, since then we have been fighting off and on and cannot seem to come to an understanding as to what we are. He sees other woman I thought I could handle it. I cannot..so I have tired to distance myself time and time again however I can't seem to let go, He told me the other day that he was tired and that it was good bye for now..i didn't get that message until today and responded okay bye, however since Thursday we have seen each other and have had sex. which really means nothing because well its just sex. I have not talked to him today and I do not plan on it. My heart literally breaks everyday for him, not just the relationship part but our friendship he is an amazing person we all have issues but they don't seem to bother me. The other day were were drinking and i went through his phone to see what he tells this one girl..totally out of character, he was not made but he told me he was disappointed and the girl that he is gonna be with has to trust him, both of those are really hard for us. says its just a learning experience and hopefully with the next guy won't do it. is this him giving up on me? is there anything that i can say or do to make him trust me or not walk out of my life.

Mentally stimulate him, flirt and back off.. But don't be to distant. Your beautiful plus you are a Virgo (both ruled by Mercury).. You shouldn't have a problem. Don't show any sign of jealousy and if you want honest answers from him, make it clear that you will Not settle for less and that you are a grown woman and don't have time for nonsense. It's either he's in or he is out. Seems to me like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. A Gemini will do what you allow us to do, put your foot down and get to the point.

click to expand

yes yes yes good advice...

Posted by gemeliorist
@virgom
Your relationship seems very unusual...you??re not allowing yourself to be treated well....however, since you??re more concerned with the friendship I think he sounds like he's overwhelmed emotionally and you going through his phone didn't help.

Two things that really stood out was him saying goodbye for now rather than just disappearing and also stating his disappointment at your snooping, instead of being harsh and/or dismissive shows some concern for your friendship. Gem??s usually come back once they??ve had some time away or their mood changes for the better. There really isn't much you can do other than to give it time and be encouraging but firm if either one of you reaches out after sometime.

...too cute the little ones and I really hope that they aren't witnessing all of this....but honestly everything is just all blurred....you might want to take some time and focus on yourself because it looks like he has more boundaries than you do....😢

yes that is something I am doing...he is not liking the new boundaries because I have never had them..its hard for me to stick but I am doing it..one day at a time..he loves my kids but they have no clue what is going on...he will and always will be our family friend to them.He is a great friend and if only i can get that back.