Trust my gut feeling

My Gem has been acting shady. .. Last weekend he was at a getaway with his cousins then he called me and we spoke the whole time. He was busy telling me he loves me while I could hear girls in the background. The Sunday he only got back to me in the evening and I just blew up and he said my insecurities are pushing him away. made a point that he spoke to me while he should be having fun. Cool got over it. Today he went to a funeral with his friends. In the morning we spoke. In the afternoon I got like 7 missed calls from him. When I returned his calls his phone is switched off. I decided to call his friend and this is how the conversation played out.

Friend: hello
me: may I please speak to my man
friend: aahh.... yah... aaaah I left him in the previous Street.
aaaah... yes I went to the next Street...
yah I decided to go visit my sister on the other Street.
yaah so I saw him in the afternoon yes so I am not with him right now. .
I will tell him you called.

me: *still asking myself why he's covering up* Thanks hun mwaaa

my question is why so many missed calls only to switch on his phone. If he's bt3 is low he usually sends a message. Why was the friend worked up and trying to make up a story if it's all innocent. my gut feeling says something went down I must just cancel the wedding since there's clearly Trust issues.

What do you guys think

p.s he's phone is still off

The funniest thing to me, is when a Gem thinks he's smart trying to cover up his tracks, only us women in their life to find it shady even more. Which can snowball, cause we wonder why, and they act like it's nothing. And then they get all defensive like we are the problem.

Don't worry, I have that too with mine. But I push for answers and get them.
I also have his best friend and call him if I need to talk to my Gem and he's not available LOL

@LittleUni I don't play when coming to such. I'm so unpredictable I would call anyone. I'm such a good listener very analytical and know where he hides all his things. Drop box password and all but he doesn't know I know them. I never go through them unless my gut feeling tells me to ask him to go through his things.

@exxx guess what? —? He still hasn't called and is the next day. I know he's fine because I called his line with a hidden number and still nothing. I have my moon in Aquarius and already the thought of commitment suffocates me. Now this, he can go jump in rick ross butt crack and suffocate to death for all I care

lol I would love to but please help me cut him loose when he comes by. ... I'm a coward at dumping people. I always have to find a good excuse. except for the butter here What do I say to someone whose planning on making sure I take his last name. ..

I don't want to ignore him. I just want to be friends. I want to deal with this in the most matured way as possible as families are involved. But nope he's too childish for me right now.

Posted by phoenixrises
My Gem has been acting shady. .. Last weekend he was at a getaway with his cousins then he called me and we spoke the whole time. (1) He was busy telling me he loves me while I could hear girls in the background. The Sunday (2) he only got back to me in the evening and I just blew up and he said my insecurities are pushing him away. made a point that he spoke to me while he should be having fun. Cool got over it. Today he went to a funeral with his friends. In the morning we spoke. (3) In the afternoon I got like 7 missed calls from him. When I returned his calls his phone is switched off. I decided to call his friend and this is how the conversation played out.

(4) p.s he's phone is still off

Ooooh kaaaay...

I've broken this down into 4 key points that I believe ( as a Gem Woman who has dated a Gem Man before) that are the most relevant.

1- If your man is telling you that he loves you IN FRONT of other women, then he means it. Especially a Gem man! If there are any guys in the room that I may have a thing for and my phone rings, I WON'T answer it unless it's a family member. I am too busy mackin' on some hot guys and won't give them a doubt in their mind that I'm single and looking to mingle. Us Gems have our ears perked for everything, we automatically assume everyone else has their ears as tuned in as we do, so we choose our words carefully. We know how to work a room and won't compromise fun for most anything. Since he answered AND said he loved you he was automatically cutting himself off from those "giggling girls". You should have taken this as a HUGE compliment.

2- HE HAD JUST SPOKEN TO YOU ALL DAY THE DAY BEFORE WHEN HE COULD HAVE BEEN HAVING FUN!! Again, you missed a huge opportunity to be grateful, appreciate that he cut out a huge portion of his fun time for you, and hold onto that until he calls you again because he's on vacation and is trying to ENJOY himself and relax. Your insecurities ARE pushing him away. During a time where he could have just turned off his phone and completely ignored you, he didn't. You're being selfish.

3- He was trying to make up for the past day, realized that you didn't care (or were too busy to look for your phone as it was ringing), severely bruised his ego, so he turned off his phone to "turn off" his feelings for you at that present time and to punish you for not picking up his missed calls. Seriously... Who misses 7 calls— I've done this before so I think I know how he feels. He's trying to reach out because the last time he didn't call you blew up. He loves you so he'll bend-over BACKWARDS to make you happy and smile, even if it can look obsessive and be a little... Too much.

4- Again, bruised ego and punishing you for not answering. Childish, but effective.

Pandala!!!!!!!! As I was practicing a we need a break speech. ...

and in this case his friends phone call becomes irrelevant.

I feel bad because he always says that the day he shoots himself in the head that's when i will get it that he loves me.

7 missed calls happened while I was asleep and I did return his calls. ..

He called but I ignored his call now trying to mirror his actions now you made me want to blow up his phone

Read into things whatever you like, but don't bother with ANY partnership.You are not ready. You just need someone to compete with for attention or to play games like "are you on my beck and call, bitch?". You are insecure as fuck, suffocating and exasperating.

Ha. I know it can be hard to not chase after a guy, we Gems can love soooooo hard and our love can be addictive! Keep in mind though, that your first priority should be you. Always! Not in a selfish sense, but in a "If you don't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love someone else" kinda way.

Do what you please, 'tis your life, but I have to agree with the other posters. You don't seem to be ready. Might I suggest you take some time to yourself, AT LEAST 3 months to figure out what you truly want. Playing games, dodging calls, reading into your partner's words are all super tiring and not a good recipe for a stable and healthy relationship.

Thanks for the comments...

Pandala we had a talk where he says my insecurities are all part of the journey in making our relationship stronger and he wants to be there when I trust him fully. He understands I might not change now but he's only here to make me the best I can be. He says sometimes insecurities as much as they are bad for him they make him love me more as he can see I love him. I asked for time off he says in love we never take a break from loving. it is liking taking a break from breathing. something dies. All I know is that we both not perfect but he really makes me want to be better and do better.

Thanks girl did I mention that you are blunt but have so much wisdom and insight and you dish it out as real but with sincerity. Just shows how much of a real woman you are. Be blessed

He's a June Gemini..... And he had a Virgo moon don't know if that plays a role and his Venus is in Leo. ... yesterday he was so romantic my gosh..... Then again he was drunk. He only says things that are romantic when he's angry and want to show me how much I mean to him or when he's been drinking. Most of the time we play the guessing game I have to read in between the lines. ... I once dated a may gem he was also so romantic my gosh I think it's my Aquarius moon that attracts these gems to me. ....
The thing that works for us is communication. I ask these things here he already knows about them even the conversation with his friends. I speak my mind to him. raw as it is. like yesterday I saw a pic of him with lipstick on his lips. He was vomiting and I just said to him the reason you are sick comes from the lipstick you had on your lips. lol he showed me a pic of his sister wearing that same lipstick. I didn't come to dxp and cry about it. He gets it raw. And then we laugh about it. He's Like my best friend the brother I never had. mushy mushy


The

Alcohol certainly does not help a Gem's relationship. It didn't help me. I am already sure in how I feel about someone but the alcohol just propels it into the ridiculous realm where I want them right there and now and if I can't have what I want, when I want, I get pissed and say regretful things (though I don't mean them). It mixes up the mind way too much, however if you are understanding of him, then you should be aware of this if you've known him long enough. I too am a June Gemini.

ncaaaw and he's worst heartbreak was with a Libra till today we can't bring her up but I like making examples with her. ... yep on a normal day it is your usual I love yous but let him have a bottle then I know the depths of his mind. lol I had him figured within 3 months till today he has never opened to anyone the way he opens upto me. He lives the fact that I remember the little details. But I'm still uneasy and it's hard not to compare to the Libra ex

Posted by phoenixrises
Thanks for the comments...

Pandala we had a talk where he says my insecurities are all part of the journey in making our relationship stronger and he wants to be there when I trust him fully. He understands I might not change now but he's only here to make me the best I can be. He says sometimes insecurities as much as they are bad for him they make him love me more as he can see I love him. I asked for time off he says in love we never take a break from loving. it is liking taking a break from breathing. something dies. All I know is that we both not perfect but he really makes me want to be better and do better.

Thanks girl did I mention that you are blunt but have so much wisdom and insight and you dish it out as real but with sincerity. Just shows how much of a real woman you are. Be blessed

Thank you so much for your kind words!

I'm so happy my bluntness doesn't scare you into thinking I have some short of chip on my shoulder. I'm all about getting the true point across and I always do my best to give the same type of advice I would want my best friend to give me. Tough love works for me best so I suppose that's why I confront the world as I do.

I suppose ones insecurities can make a relationship stronger... As long as you both talk about what caused the insecurities and work PAST them. If you don't, it'll become toxic and someone will become more dependent on the other for their happiness, mental stability, etc. I once dated an horribly insecure Leo who came off as super macho but would fuss at me when I was "too nice". He would always comment that my "ass was too over friendly" when I thanked the delivery guys or the male waiter. Fuck, I was just being NICE and ME! Yes, for a time it did make me feel as though he loved me and didn't want to lose me... But it eventually stunted me, made me horribly unhappy, and added yet another thing to the I Should Leave This Guy list I had running in my head.

Ultimately, it's your life and we all have to FALL sometimes, bust our faces, and see blood to have us realize that the advice we got earlier about the situation should have been listened to and just not written off immediately. It's a huge game called Life and only we know how to play our own games. Cheats for one player's game may not work for the other, so just be wise. Keep your eyes open, and try to learn from others mistakes so you won't have to go through the same struggles.

Posted by phoenixrises
ncaaaw and he's worst heartbreak was with a Libra till today we can't bring her up but I like making examples with her. ... yep on a normal day it is your usual I love yous but let him have a bottle then I know the depths of his mind. lol I had him figured within 3 months till today he has never opened to anyone the way he opens upto me. He lives the fact that I remember the little details. But I'm still uneasy and it's hard not to compare to the Libra ex

You are reading into it too much.

Don't know how to feel right now. .. my gut feeling was right. He confessed.

How long have you two been together and what is your Sun, Moon and Venus.... What's his?

Posted by phoenixrises
Don't know how to feel right now. .. my gut feeling was right. He confessed.

Lol, right. Funerals are well known places for cheating and even orgies!

@watergem this October we will be 10 months. engaged for like 4 months and no sex from both our side. I can't hate him I'm actually more in love with him for being honest and transparent. I feel like I'm his best friend as he never opens up but with me he gets deep. He's still scared right now because he expected an I knew it attitude but I just gave him a thank you for being honest with me. I told him we need to know each other maybe we don't want to be married. We just want each other in one's life because we get along so well.

Our placements mine / his:
Sun: Scorpio / Gemini
Moon:Aquarius / Virgo
Venus: Libra / Leo

@undine now I know. anything can happen.

@Mega yep always go with the gut. I will never ever disregard it again.

lesson learnt