@Moonbutter
11 Years5,000+ Posts
Many prioritize passionate sex or a stable relationship. The best choice depends on personal values and long-term goals. Some find that great sex enhances intimacy, while others value emotional connection more. Balancing both can lead to a fulfilling partnership. Reflect on what matters most to you for a happy marriage and relationship satisfaction.
Why would one need to choose? Why can't you have both? I do.
I have a wonderful relationship with my Libra. I'm pampered and spoiled rotten. We are friends and a team by day complimenting one another throughout and when we come together and get close, things get rather passionate very quickly. There's no guessing as to what the needs are. That's what I love about it.
It's like the Domino said above, you really can't have great sex without a great relationship. The Gemini is very inutive and will not give their best unless the best isn't already there. That's how I am anyway, I can't speak for all Geminis, but I need to feel more than just what's between my legs getting pleased. I can do that myself.
Posted by gemguyaz34
Why would one need to choose? Why can't you have both? I do.I have a wonderful relationship with my Libra. I'm pampered and spoiled rotten. We are friends and a team by day complimenting one another throughout and when we come together and get close, things get rather passionate very quickly. There's no guessing as to what the needs are. That's what I love about it.
It's like the Domino said above, you really can't have great sex without a great relationship. The Gemini is very inutive and will not give their best unless the best isn't already there. That's how I am anyway, I can't speak for all Geminis, but I need to feel more than just what's between my legs getting pleased. I can do that myself.
Good for you @gemguyaz34 I am happy you have found your soul mate π I ask this because my ex Gem said I was the best sex, amazing...and yes I agree with him he was my best too. However our relationship wasn't as great. Maybe because we had a good mental connection? It's just for lack of emotional connection(I believe) that makes our relationship feel like it's missing something. Would you say because we had an amazing sex life that maybe our relationship wasn't so bad?
Posted by theDomino
If you're having a great relationship but OK sex, then you're not having a great relationship. Unless there is something physically wrong with one, or both, then it's a clear indication that a Gem is either missing the mental or physical attraction. If both aren't present, it's hard to see a Gem having a great relationship without having incredible sex.
Ahh yes, I see that...Then having a lack of emotional connection is not as important to a Gemini? They are happy with a great mental and physical connection? I just wonder, because I'm not sure that's enough for me...or my Gem :/
Oops....
I agree with what the other guys said... nothing wrong with having both.
π
Posted by misslissa
Oops....I agree with what the other guys said... nothing wrong with having both.
π
Hi misslissa π I would love to have both...I'm just wondering what Gems consider a "good relationship" Is having a good mental connection/great sex enough? Do you guys need to have an emotional connection as well?
Posted by theDomino
If you're having a great relationship but OK sex, then you're not having a great relationship. Unless there is something physically wrong with one, or both, then it's a clear indication that a Gem is either missing the mental or physical attraction. If both aren't present, it's hard to see a Gem having a great relationship without having incredible sex.Ahh yes, I see that...Then having a lack of emotional connection is not as important to a Gemini? They are happy with a great mental and physical connection? I just wonder, because I'm not sure that's enough for me...or my Gem :/
click to expand
Contrary to popular belief, emotional connections are important, as well. We do feel. We just show it in different ways. Much like an aqua, sometimes.
For me, I show just alil more than that^. But I'm also aware that most everyone shows it. You just have to learn how to read it. And, you have to realize that ppl show it the way they know how to... NOT how you expect it to be given to you.
Posted by misslissa
Oops....I agree with what the other guys said... nothing wrong with having both.
π
Hi misslissa π I would love to have both...I'm just wondering what Gems consider a "good relationship" Is having a good mental connection/great sex enough? Do you guys need to have an emotional connection as well?
click to expand
Everyone needs that in some level or another. π
I think it's like a package. Friendship, mental, emotion, and sex. All in one package.
Posted by theDomino
If you're having a great relationship but OK sex, then you're not having a great relationship. Unless there is something physically wrong with one, or both, then it's a clear indication that a Gem is either missing the mental or physical attraction. If both aren't present, it's hard to see a Gem having a great relationship without having incredible sex.Ahh yes, I see that...Then having a lack of emotional connection is not as important to a Gemini? They are happy with a great mental and physical connection? I just wonder, because I'm not sure that's enough for me...or my Gem :/
Contrary to popular belief, emotional connections are important, as well. We do feel. We just show it in different ways. Much like an aqua, sometimes.
For me, I show just alil more than that^. But I'm also aware that most everyone shows it. You just have to learn how to read it. And, you have to realize that ppl show it the way they know how to... NOT how you expect it to be given to you.
click to expand
Yes, I believe Gems can be very sensitive, just masked in humor sometimes. My Gem has Aqua Moon so how we should he show that? I mean he's very affectionate, takes care of me(cooks, car maintenance) Plus I swear sometimes I can see it in his eyes. Only thing is he doesn;t like to compromise. It's like he lives his life the way he wants and doesn't take me into consideration. Is that typical?
Posted by gemguyaz34
Why would one need to choose? Why can't you have both? I do.I have a wonderful relationship with my Libra. I'm pampered and spoiled rotten. We are friends and a team by day complimenting one another throughout and when we come together and get close, things get rather passionate very quickly. There's no guessing as to what the needs are. That's what I love about it.
It's like the Domino said above, you really can't have great sex without a great relationship. The Gemini is very inutive and will not give their best unless the best isn't already there. That's how I am anyway, I can't speak for all Geminis, but I need to feel more than just what's between my legs getting pleased. I can do that myself.
Good for you @gemguyaz34 I am happy you have found your soul mate π I ask this because my ex Gem said I was the best sex, amazing...and yes I agree with him he was my best too. However our relationship wasn't as great. Maybe because we had a good mental connection? It's just for lack of emotional connection(I believe) that makes our relationship feel like it's missing something. Would you say because we had an amazing sex life that maybe our relationship wasn't so bad?
click to expand
it's possible. I mean, I do better knowing two sides of a story (I do have Libra placements). But yes, the mental connection I will tell you is definitely a plus and can go along way. I might have more of an emotional connection just having my Venus in Cancer. My moon is in leo too so if I get treated like a king it goes far in my willingness to reciprocate. It can be dependent on his other signs too as far as what you had regarding connection. I wouldn't just say it was the sex because often, for a Gemini, there is more to it.
Posted by misslissa
Oops....I agree with what the other guys said... nothing wrong with having both.
π
Hi misslissa π I would love to have both...I'm just wondering what Gems consider a "good relationship" Is having a good mental connection/great sex enough? Do you guys need to have an emotional connection as well?
click to expand
First and foremost, energy, positivity, showing interest in the things we like, having great conversations about many many things, being there when we have a bad day for someone to talk to, showing your support. The sex is just a side activity for us that we enjoy and even with that we like the mental stimulation as it is arousing.
He does... He just isn't going to tell you he does. I don't know how he shows it... but doing things for you without expecting anything from you, is a start. π
Pay attention to the little things. It's always about the little things.
Compromise is a different story. You have to learn to approach with issues logically. And, if it's well thought out logic, compromise follows.
Posted by misslissa
He does... He just isn't going to tell you he does. I don't know how he shows it... but doing things for you without expecting anything from you, is a start. πPay attention to the little things. It's always about the little things.
Compromise is a different story. You have to learn to approach with issues logically. And, if it's well thought out logic, compromise follows.
The little things are right on. We can feel ignored for even the slightest things you wouldn't consider. Even if you think it may be something dumb, we may not.
Posted by misslissa
He does... He just isn't going to tell you he does. I don't know how he shows it... but doing things for you without expecting anything from you, is a start. πPay attention to the little things. It's always about the little things.
Compromise is a different story. You have to learn to approach with issues logically. And, if it's well thought out logic, compromise follows.
Thanks Misslissa, this is very helpful π Maybe this is where the "problem" lies then...I have Merc Cancer and he is Gem Mercury. I talk "emotionally" so maybe that's what he "hears" and doesn't get the logic of what I'm saying? Because I like to do stuff outside the house with him but he just makes up excuses..costs money, etc..then he starts attacking me like I'm selfish and what he does for me isn't good enough...so it's a vicious cycle. My Moon is Sag so I like adventure sometimes and he doesn't get it π’ How can I present this to him in a logical way? This is our biggest obstacle and it's soo silly! Sorry I'm being long winded, lol.
He has gem sun and aqua moon....? He should LOVE adventures!! Sounds like you should pick an activity that costs almost next to nothing. Like say, a walk in a park, OR a nature trail in your area.
My aqua and I go every chance we get! π
Posted by misslissa
He does... He just isn't going to tell you he does. I don't know how he shows it... but doing things for you without expecting anything from you, is a start. πPay attention to the little things. It's always about the little things.
Compromise is a different story. You have to learn to approach with issues logically. And, if it's well thought out logic, compromise follows.
The little things are right on. We can feel ignored for even the slightest things you wouldn't consider. Even if you think it may be something dumb, we may not.
click to expand
Yeah, I noticed that too..I mean I'm quite intuitive as well being a moon lady...there is soo much good in the relationship, but we can't seem to overcome this one obstacle and I don't know if we ever will? I like to have adventure with him, go on dates, explore life...but he seems content staying at home. And this is fine, but sometimes I would like him to take iniative and take me out more then once a month. And he thinks I'm selfish for wanting more. Am I asking too much? I really just want to be able to discuss this with him but he gets defensive and then "attacks me" like I'm never satisfied. I don't know how to resolve this?
Posted by misslissa
He does... He just isn't going to tell you he does. I don't know how he shows it... but doing things for you without expecting anything from you, is a start. πPay attention to the little things. It's always about the little things.
Compromise is a different story. You have to learn to approach with issues logically. And, if it's well thought out logic, compromise follows.
Thanks Misslissa, this is very helpful π Maybe this is where the "problem" lies then...I have Merc Cancer and he is Gem Mercury. I talk "emotionally" so maybe that's what he "hears" and doesn't get the logic of what I'm saying? Because I like to do stuff outside the house with him but he just makes up excuses..costs money, etc..then he starts attacking me like I'm selfish and what he does for me isn't good enough...so it's a vicious cycle. My Moon is Sag so I like adventure sometimes and he doesn't get it π’ How can I present this to him in a logical way? This is our biggest obstacle and it's soo silly! Sorry I'm being long winded, lol.
click to expand
I do have to say that presenting emotions in a logical way is an art in itself.
Posted by misslissa
He has gem sun and aqua moon....? He should LOVE adventures!! Sounds like you should pick an activity that costs almost next to nothing. Like say, a walk in a park, OR a nature trail in your area.My aqua and I go every chance we get! π
Haha right? I consider him a "defected Gemini" lol. I suggested those things, but he came up with excuses! It's like he just wants to do his hobbies(BBQ/landscape/guitar) and FUCK what I want to do.
Posted by misslissa
He does... He just isn't going to tell you he does. I don't know how he shows it... but doing things for you without expecting anything from you, is a start. πPay attention to the little things. It's always about the little things.
Compromise is a different story. You have to learn to approach with issues logically. And, if it's well thought out logic, compromise follows.
Thanks Misslissa, this is very helpful π Maybe this is where the "problem" lies then...I have Merc Cancer and he is Gem Mercury. I talk "emotionally" so maybe that's what he "hears" and doesn't get the logic of what I'm saying? Because I like to do stuff outside the house with him but he just makes up excuses..costs money, etc..then he starts attacking me like I'm selfish and what he does for me isn't good enough...so it's a vicious cycle. My Moon is Sag so I like adventure sometimes and he doesn't get it π’ How can I present this to him in a logical way? This is our biggest obstacle and it's soo silly! Sorry I'm being long winded, lol.
I do have to say that presenting emotions in a logical way is an art in itself.
click to expand
Teach me your ways! haha..So how do I get him to see that a bit of adventure is what I not only want but NEED to feel alive inside? It's like he just sees it as nagging but I need him to see it as It's food for my soul. Could it be because he just doesn't care enough and would rather make excuses? Or do you think it is simply a misunderstanding?
Have to suggest a place that would be AWESOME to him! Have to get his curiosity going. π
A place he's never been to. π
Posted by misslissa
A place he's never been to. π
Good suggestions..Let's just say he hasn't been to a lot of places(never been on a plane), and he doesn't want to. He rather stay home. Guess it's a lost cause :/
Posted by misslissa
He does... He just isn't going to tell you he does. I don't know how he shows it... but doing things for you without expecting anything from you, is a start. πPay attention to the little things. It's always about the little things.
Compromise is a different story. You have to learn to approach with issues logically. And, if it's well thought out logic, compromise follows.
Thanks Misslissa, this is very helpful π Maybe this is where the "problem" lies then...I have Merc Cancer and he is Gem Mercury. I talk "emotionally" so maybe that's what he "hears" and doesn't get the logic of what I'm saying? Because I like to do stuff outside the house with him but he just makes up excuses..costs money, etc..then he starts attacking me like I'm selfish and what he does for me isn't good enough...so it's a vicious cycle. My Moon is Sag so I like adventure sometimes and he doesn't get it π’ How can I present this to him in a logical way? This is our biggest obstacle and it's soo silly! Sorry I'm being long winded, lol.
I do have to say that presenting emotions in a logical way is an art in itself.
Teach me your ways! haha..So how do I get him to see that a bit of adventure is what I not only want but NEED to feel alive inside? It's like he just sees it as nagging but I need him to see it as It's food for my soul. Could it be because he just doesn't care enough and would rather make excuses? Or do you think it is simply a misunderstanding?
click to expand
No. It's no misunderstanding. Presenting emotions logically isn't something one can teach. It's only something to be learned. Have to learn how to take the emotion out of it.
But, I have learned with some of my exes, sometimes you have to take their lack of love for adventure as that, at face value. I know you want to share with him, but learn to go out with someone else. Not on "dates", but adventures. Have to learn to do it by yourself. Don't let him keep you from doing what you love to do!!
Plus, when you come home an
and talk about the fantastic time you've had, it should strike his curiosity.
Posted by theDomino
If you're having a great relationship but OK sex, then you're not having a great relationship. Unless there is something physically wrong with one, or both, then it's a clear indication that a Gem is either missing the mental or physical attraction. If both aren't present, it's hard to see a Gem having a great relationship without having incredible sex.Ahh yes, I see that...Then having a lack of emotional connection is not as important to a Gemini? They are happy with a great mental and physical connection? I just wonder, because I'm not sure that's enough for me...or my Gem :/
I would say that was just sex and not a relationship at all; essentially meant nothing serious; and I doubt it would be anything from extraordinary (which where we excel best). We leave you with something to remember if we are in love, and would only leave our special traits to that one.
Our emotions are greatly connected to what mentally and physically stimulates us, so I do believe that it is important for a Gem to have an emotional connection. I know I couldn't.
click to expand
No we had a serious relationshp...I didn't have a fuck buddy for the last 4 years of my life lol. I mean we had an emotional connection, just not maybe in the way I felt I needed.
Posted by theDomino
And we are attracted to those who mentally stimulate us. We are intellectual creatures after all. So, in understanding that, if you're merely physically attractive and can't stimulate a Gem mentally, then you won't have one's interest. You wouldn't even be considered remotely attractive.
Right, whihc I know that wasn't a problem for us π
Posted by retrogradexy
An amazing relationship makes room for improvement.Even perfection has its flaws; but that doesn't make it any less perfect.
click to expand
Doesn't perfect mean there are no faults, imperfections?
I can see perfection in the imperfect. π
The simplest example: a rose. π
Posted by retrogradexy
An amazing relationship makes room for improvement.Even perfection has its flaws; but that doesn't make it any less perfect.
Doesn't perfect mean there are no faults, imperfections?
Well, consider what you call perfect? When you refer to the "perfect nail", would that perfect nail be perfect for making a stone wall, or a combustion engine? Would it be good for a jet engine? Even in it's crystalline structure it, a perfect {1, 0, 0} lattice of silica is great for electronics, but it will be completely useless for toiletries.
When you consider the "perfect human", you can't be perfect without having a flaw, as it is only human to be so. And furthermore, to have no flaws is far from perfect; it makes you inadaptable, intolerable, prone to delicacy, and weak minded. You can't exhibited this characteristics if you have not first made faults, acknowledge them, and grew. People with hard lives are strong because of this, and we're not talking about those bleeding hearts that claim fault over spilt milk.
click to expand
Right, well maybe "perfect" is not the best descriptive choice then π
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account β
Hey Gems, would you rather...have Amazing sex/ ok relationship oor OK sex/great relationship? Please telly why, share experiences, and which you prefer to marry