Why are you guys so difficult to deal with?

Been trying to get a divorce from Gem and he is the most difficult person to deal with!!!!!! Keeps nitpicking and changing his mind on stuff. And forgets what he says (conveniently).

Any input?

This is not a dare.

I would like good, honest opinions and if yall want to be sarcastic or mean, just keep it to yourselves.

My ex had a 2 year affair. I filed for divorce 1 1/2 years ago. It seems he still wants to fight over stuff. Has agreed to propert and asset settlement. Fine for six months. Then started nit picking very minor wording in the divorce decree. Really minor stuff. Then it was back to property.

He has threatened me with various things over the last year or more (slander, not taking care of our son properly, etc - none of it was true), has called me screaming about imagined things that weren't true, just dreams up stuff I think. He's known me for 20 years! He knows better than this crap!

He's lied about numerous things like he said he didn't drop our 19 yo daughter's insurance but he took her off his health plan without telling anyone - and it doesn't cost him much.

He's just been really difficult and all I want is to be left alone. No more bullying, threatening, etc. I did not take him for everything he had, in fact, my belief is he got the better deal because I want to be rid of him.

Those are some examples.

This is not a how-do-I-get-my-man-back-thread. This is a why is he so difficult thread. He's still with the girl, you'd think he'd just want to sign and get it over with.

I don't want him back, can't stand him!!!! I just want this to be done!!!!!!

Well, thanks for yall's help. Little as it was. If one of yall posted a problem or wanted an opinion on a cap, I would have tried my best to give some insight.


Sorry you thought I wasn't serious. For what it's worth, I don't blame yall for being suspicious.

And the truth is, I don't really hate Geminis; I just don't like him. I don't think Cap and Gem are a good match and have said as much. But I really did want insight as to why he just won't sign and let me go. He claims he's happy with the girlfriend, so why isn't he ready to move on -- I just don't understand. I'm not trying to take him for everything and have been quite fair to him.

*walks away and leaves Gems alone*

I've gone through a divorce before as well and all I wanted was it to be over with. I didn't fight for anything, settled before we ever stepped foot in court.

I often times see other women saying things like "I don't know why he's fighting me. I'm not trying to take everything. I'm being fair." However when I look at what she's wanting from an outsiders P.O.V. I usually completely disagree. I'm not saying this is true for you, just that I feel women most often ask and are granted way more than a person should be given. I've seen men beat down and broken, having to give their ex almost every penny they make, having their ex act like they are the better parent simply because they think they have a golden uterus because they gave birth, they want to control the ex by controling his contact with their children. Again, you may not be doing any of this so please don't take offense by what I have seen.

If you really look at what you are offering him or wanting him to offer you, and you truly think it's fair (and by that I mean, if you were HIM, would you still find it fair) then I don't know what else to say other than take it in front of a judge and let her/him decide.

Oh and I actually think court orders should be very specific. Listing locations and times of exchanges etc. That way, thier is no back and forth several times a week to discuss the schedule etc. The more detailed the Order is, the less interaction you two have, which in turn means less conflict. If you two are high conflict then seriously consider how much contact y'all will have if the Order isn't specific.

And as far as him calling you and screaming, tell him you prefer all communication be done via email unless their is an emergency. Don't fight or argue back with him, just hang up the phone.

I wish you the best!

Oh and that would be my input whether this is a dare or not. I don't care one way or the other. Someone else may benefit from going No Contact with a high conflict ex.

Thank you Dahl.

We have joint custody. I have my son one week, he has him the other. According to my son, this is not fair, but i honestly believe it is best for a 15 yo boy to have his daddy active in his life. There is no child support. We split expenses 50/50.

If I were to look at this from his POV, I would feel I were getting the better settlement. Although, I'm a cap, I haven't screwed him over anything. I have a fairness about me that I have been criticized for by others. I have given up a lot just to get rid of him. And when he calls to rant, I just put my phone on speaker and don't really listen, but when he is done I pick it back up and talk to him because after he feels like he is heard, we can actually dicuss. (well, I do listen, just not able to interrupt).


I can tell when he calls me whether "she" is there. If he is nice and congenial, then she is not. When "she" is there, he is a total ass, showing out. I secretly laugh about that.

I just want it done. Its going to be a long three years until my son turns 18.

Posted by Geminivixen
Now I feel bad

Don't feel bad. I understand.

Posted by truecap
Thank you Dahl.

If I were to look at this from his POV, I would feel I were getting the better settlement. .

I meant he is getting the better deal, which he is.

I agree, but does it count when he is screaming and yelling? Do I have to listen to that?

It doesn't really sound like he wants to wash his hands of you. It seems like he wants to keep you engaged.

My Gem ex did this, too. I also dumped him for cheating. To get the split over and done with, I gave him a valuable item that we both wanted (a car). He called me for YEARS asking my opinion on minor issues having to do with the car. I told him, plenty of times, to just sell it, but he wouldn't because then he wouldn't have had anything to hang over my head and continue calling me about. This man believed that even if I was with other people (and even if HE was with other people) that I was somehow "spiritually" still his. He never came out and said that, but it was clear.

I'm not putting down Gem brothers. I've had other signs do similar things (most notably a Pisces and a Scorpio).

Oh, and the yelling and screaming? Phone rules are that the phone gets hung up when he's irrate. He may call back when he's ready to have a rational conversation.

Just make sure you're not contributing to the irrationality. Personally, I only resort to yelling when I've exhausted all other avenues of communication and feel that I'm not being heard.

Thanks guys for your honest input.

We never did understand each other very well and communication was one of our problems.

DG, why don't you read the posts and get the ones back that were messing with you? Paybacks could be fun! 🙂

Posted by DG
It was just a joke TC, my God, I thought Cappies were supposed to have a good sense of homour. Jeez!~!

I knew it was a joke. I was joking back! lol!!!!

Title: Why are you guys so difficult to deal with?




Because every emotion they have is so exalted that they literally have no control of their feelings .... to have such extreme feelings is a weakness in which they know, but, are powerless to help themselves.

With your situation .... I'm sure you've seen this for yourself. Since you're married to one, there's no doubt in my mind that you've witnessed his emotions so extreme that you wonder if he possesses any emotional control at all.

take a deep breath... the site has some kinks they are working on ironing out.... hopefully, soon, all will be well in dxpland....

This is true. I've been trying for weeks to change my profile pic. It's the site. Nothing you can do about it.

This is true. I've been trying for weeks to change my profile pic. It's the site. Nothing you can do about it.

Posted by P-Angel
Title: Why are you guys so difficult to deal with?




Because every emotion they have is so exalted that they literally have no control of their feelings .... to have such extreme feelings is a weakness in which they know, but, are powerless to help themselves.

With your situation .... I'm sure you've seen this for yourself. Since you're married to one, there's no doubt in my mind that you've witnessed his emotions so extreme that you wonder if he possesses any emotional control at all.

And Caps are all about control.

Hum. I will agree with this DG. Most people will spend a lifetime trying to figure us out. It will never happen.

LOL. That's exactly where we like you to think you are.

Tee hee...not taking the shiny bait.

Posted by truecap

And Caps are all about control.

Agreed

My Mars is in Gemini and it's my favorite placement .. but, you'd never get the sun Gems to believe anything other than they are vicitimized and everyone hates them.


What pussies.

Posted by truecap

Posted by P-Angel
Title: Why are you guys so difficult to deal with?




Because every emotion they have is so exalted that they literally have no control of their feelings .... to have such extreme feelings is a weakness in which they know, but, are powerless to help themselves.

With your situation .... I'm sure you've seen this for yourself. Since you're married to one, there's no doubt in my mind that you've witnessed his emotions so extreme that you wonder if he possesses any emotional control at all.

And Caps are all about control.

click to expand

One could take a look at CowPuncher and your statement about Capricorns becomes crystal clear .... or the female one on the Scorpio board at the moment.

It's just control over something ... the something usually being a 'someone' who has been objectified

Posted by Geminivixen

WE don't even know why we are the way we are... We Just Are.

.... but just deal with it

You're the only ones who have to deal with not knowing who/why you are .... our place is to laugh at you for such weakness.


Any questions?

Posted by thebiggcarlos611

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by Geminivixen

WE don't even know why we are the way we are... We Just Are.

.... but just deal with it

You're the only ones who have to deal with not knowing who/why you are .... our place is to laugh at you for such weakness.


Any questions?

Yo p. If you don't have anything useful to contribute to this forum.... then GTFO.

click to expand

Not useful?!!!

I get exactly what I aim for .. how is that not useful? The fact that you're so emotionally weak that it causes you to be not be able to control your responses is what we are laughing about.

You haven't figured out yet, that in the fact that it affects you .... makes you the joke.

Posted by Geminivixen

Clearly as you can see I am never emotional (very emotionally independent) MAY Gemini.

Posted by Geminivixen

I am going to assume P angel is just another

click to expand

lol, clearly, the second comment came from how I made you feel.


idiots everywhere, I tell you

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by truecap

Posted by P-Angel
Title: Why are you guys so difficult to deal with?




Because every emotion they have is so exalted that they literally have no control of their feelings .... to have such extreme feelings is a weakness in which they know, but, are powerless to help themselves.

With your situation .... I'm sure you've seen this for yourself. Since you're married to one, there's no doubt in my mind that you've witnessed his emotions so extreme that you wonder if he possesses any emotional control at all.

And Caps are all about control.

One could take a look at CowPuncher and your statement about Capricorns becomes crystal clear .... or the female one on the Scorpio board at the moment.

It's just control over something ... the something usually being a 'someone' who has been objectified

click to expand

I meant control over emotions. But, I understand what you're saying.

Posted by truecap

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by truecap

Posted by P-Angel
Title: Why are you guys so difficult to deal with?




Because every emotion they have is so exalted that they literally have no control of their feelings .... to have such extreme feelings is a weakness in which they know, but, are powerless to help themselves.

With your situation .... I'm sure you've seen this for yourself. Since you're married to one, there's no doubt in my mind that you've witnessed his emotions so extreme that you wonder if he possesses any emotional control at all.

And Caps are all about control.

One could take a look at CowPuncher and your statement about Capricorns becomes crystal clear .... or the female one on the Scorpio board at the moment.

It's just control over something ... the something usually being a 'someone' who has been objectified

I meant control over emotions. But, I understand what you're saying.

click to expand

Right, emotional control. I'll bet the Gemini's inability to contain itself during an emotional situation was a lot for you to swallow, then .... because once the Gemini has a feeling of any kind, they exaggerate it to the hilt.

I was married to one once, also ... I know how hard it is to be emotionally controlled, such as myself, and having to deal with a person who literally has zero control.

Not sure who they are compatible with having that character flaw ... perhaps the Aries.

TOC- I thought you and I were being light-hearted back there. If you know all my tricks, please explain them to me, because I never know what the hell I'm about to do 😉

P- You may or may not be right about Gems, but if you're saying that Pisceans have emotional control, then I'm really puzzled. That would be the last thing I would use to describe the fish I've known. Great peeps, but very tossed about on the sea of emotions.