paps smear & repressed emotion

Two days ago i had paps smear taken. I was already uncomfortable with the doctor because she was so passive. I mentioned to her it will be my first time so i was a bit nervous. She did not say a thing. When i was sitting down and the chair was moving up she said "go down a little." I got confused so i hop backward because the chair was a bit slanted down in the back part. She said "go down" again, "no.. go down".. she sounds irritated and then i moved forward which is upper part on the chair i finally got it.

When she had done the procedure, it has no explaination on her part of what she was going to do and what should i expect. She was quiet the whole time and all she said was, "try to relax" in a command way. She was not gentle at all. I was so in pain that i could cry. She sticks the cotton swab so strong as well as the other thing she used. Whem i saw the blood on the samples i trembled inside. Even during the ultrasound it was painful. She said my ovaries are fine and cervix, that everything was good. She repeats this couple of times and not even looking at me just to her computer.

Now i woke up the middle of my sleep. I still haven't let go about it. I think there is still discomfort inside. I prepared myself to it and was not scared because the videos i saw there was no blood and my friends told me it was just uncomfortable inserting the instrument. I was angry because i expected a good service both for her job skills and her human interaction. I am angry to myself as well not able to speak my discomfort or whatever. I always do this. I rather be in pain than open up because i may say thing i will regret. But i want to be straight forward sometimes but why do i always repress my emotions. I even want to cry awhile ago, but i can't. I need to force it just for me to feel better inside. I know this is unhealthy but and i wish i stop doing it. 😢

Can you please share your paps smear experience? I want to make sure i had a normal procedure.

What a fucking shit experience!
I would definitely write in about that, at the time I would have definitely said something to her face though, but if you aren't confrontational about that sort of thing, take a friend or mum or sister along next time just to make sure somebody stands up for your safety and comfort.

you should change doctors. that is such a personal procedure, you deserve someone who listens and is compassionate. you probably had a normal exam but it probably would have gone smoother had she made an effort to relax you at all. i remember how terrified i was my first time. i cried. but ive always made sure to have a doctor who was very nice. it's an important part of me and i dont want just anyone workin down there 😉

i got an iud about 5 years ago from a new gyno. she upset me as well by not listening nor being compassionate. it was a very painful procedure for me, even if it was worth it. she upset me so badly i wrote her a letter. i can't remember if i read it to her or emailed it but she apologized and i never returned.

One- "pap smear."

Two- sorry, but you sound like a naive child. "Service?" Honey, it's healthcare, not the counter at McDonald's. Bleeding can happen. It sounds like the speculum may have had trouble getting in there because you were tensing up. Are you sure you did your research, because you sound kind of ignorant about all of this. Not to be harsh, but you remind me of a friend of mine who goes around acting all meek and refuses to educate herself further on things like this- then whines when the fantasy bubble is popped.

Don't get me wrong, it shouldn't have happened like that, but your reaction is equally disturbing. You cannot be that passive and then cry victim. When it comes to procedures like this, educate yourself thoroughly on the matter so if something like that happens, you know what to expect and can call someone out on it instead of being meek and unsure. There are people in the medical field who are there for all the wrong reasons and the best way to protect yourself from crap like this is educating yourself.

Three- switch docs. It's that simple. You do not have to stay with a provider who you don't like. My first one was done by some methodical Asian lady and she wasn't even THAT bad. Most will talk you through the entire procedure and explain what's going on. Really good ones will make small talk to get you to relax and not focus on what's going on.

Do you live in the states? If you do, did you go to a private gyno or some place like Planned Parenthood?

Posted by AbbyNormal
you should change doctors. that is such a personal procedure, you deserve someone who listens and is compassionate. you probably had a normal exam but it probably would have gone smoother had she made an effort to relax you at all. i remember how terrified i was my first time. i cried. but ive always made sure to have a doctor who was very nice. it's an important part of me and i dont want just anyone workin down there 😉

i got an iud about 5 years ago from a new gyno. she upset me as well by not listening nor being compassionate. it was a very painful procedure for me, even if it was worth it. she upset me so badly i wrote her a letter. i can't remember if i read it to her or emailed it but she apologized and i never returned.

Man, the IUD procedure sucks haha. I had a friend who lied to me about the pain because she was trying to not "scare" me. I'm like bitch, thanks a lot. I'd rather know what to expect than SURPRISE SHARP STABBY PAINS GALORE! Thank God I did my own research so I knew the chances of it hurting were like 50/50 since everyone's experience was different.

Thankfully, the doc who inserted it was awesome. I've had all my stuff done at Planned Parenthood. I don't know if it's just that location or all of them, but they are very conscientious when it comes to compassion with women's issues. I'd think they'd have to be considering the range of patients that they see as opposed to maybe what a private practice gyno may/may not see.

@wagtail - Thanks for your reply! I appreciate it!

@Abby- Thanks abby! Yes i will look for another for sure. It is nice that she apologized to you. I remember the Dr. was coughing really bad and now i got cough too and little bit of a fever. Hhmm..

@rockyroadicecream - Oppss.. i suck at spelling.. 🙂 You are right i was naive and i had been often in my life. It is good to know that having blood in my samples is normal. I have read about it too but i really want to find out in other's experiences because i may be just over acting. With regard to service, I disagree of you comparing it to McDonalds. I do well in my job in comes to serving other people whether for food or what else so yes, i expect the same specially for medical needs. My general doctor recommend me to her, i would definitely not going to go back there. I am in Norway right now and will be moving to Germany soon so getting an expensive private doctor here is kind of impractical for m since i am unemployed. Surely i will know better next time! Thanks for your straight forward reply I need to hear it.

It's not necessarily "normal" per se, but given the situation, that could be why it happened. I had some in the last one I had because apparently it was just from some spotting due to my body still adjusting to the IUD. We were both a little surprised, but shrugged it off due to the inconsistencies that the IUD causes and my tests came back normal so meh.

I don't think there's necessarily reason to freak out over it, and you could have asked right then and there if it was something to be concerned about. Were you at the tail end of your period or maybe it was going to start soon?