Weight issues

This must be one of the hardest things to help anyone out with but I'm worried and someway someone has to get through to her.

My 19 year daughter is gaining weight rapidly, I mean I saw her last weekend and 7 days later when I see her again it looked like she had put on a couple kilo's! It was that visible, when I bought it up to my bf he even agreed and said he had thought it may have only been him that noticed. She is roughly 165 lbs, 75 kilos and only 1.52 (5 ft)

I can't say anything, I'm slim built and maybe I'm part of the problem because I've looked after myself physically and always eaten well. I think my girls think it's all too easy for me but No it's not, I work hard at keeping fit and healthy as do most females. I've always supplied good healthy food at my table and taught them to eat healthily as well as indulge on occasion. The other two are fine but this one has the worst eating habits, preferring fried foods, bread with most meals and a very high carb diet. Now she and her partner are in their own place and cooking their own food (which I imagine is lacking in vegetables and mostly fried and cheap fatty meat) Her weight is escalating and so is his! Should I say something to him?

No one in both her dads and my family are obese. His mum is a large woman and mostly due to unnecessarily over eating as with the problem that my girl has.

What are the ways in which I can approach her. She has tried weight drugs from the doctors which had the reverse effect once the pills are stopped. She is mindful of her weight and has talked about the lemon detox and ordering in food diets which are very expensive and she really can't afford them. She refuses to go to weight watchers or Jenny Craig when I mentioned that to her once. She will talk about it but only if she brings it up, I can't approach the subject ( or rather should I say I haven't learnt how to approach the subject without offending her) so in saying that she is aware there is a problem but lacks the strength and commitment it takes to fix it!

Is there any way to get through to someone that they need to seriously look at their weight? Family members? Friends? Boss (whom she likes and respects a lot)?

Hate to say this but it's possible that she could be pregnant and hiding her pregnancy. But honestly I think you should stay out of it, it's her life, she doesn't need the criticism and it won't help her lose weight, she's under a lot of stress and pressure trying to carry a relationship with a toxic boyfriend, just be there for her and support her emotionally, try not to add anymore pressure on the girls shoulders, it'll only make her stress eat even more.

I've asked her straight out about pregnancy before and I don't think that is the case. However if it is then their world as they know and love it will come crashing down. She will have no choice but to move back to our homeland as there is No support financially here in our chosen country. Neither of them wants that!

I haven't said anything to her but it's hard to see her week after week and the amount of weight she is putting on. Yesterday she came over and we were at the poolside. She didn't join us in the water, I was playing with my bf and his children. So I went to sit with her and give her a cuddle and have a catch up chat. She started showing me pics of her 5 years ago when she was at her skinniest. Was that a cry out for help right there...I didn't say a thing, I always say it wrong when it comes to weight issues and I feel she's at a point where it has to be taken seriously. She does look like a 8 month pregnant woman. But you see he has put on almost a 1/4 of his weight too since they left only 4 weeks ago!

Pregnancy test....Maybe you should buy one to make sure it's not pregnancy, she could very well be hiding it from everyone. Hopefully it's just love spread and eventually she'll take control of her weight or lose the boyfriend (the extra weight) she's carrying around, also could be a sign of neglect on his part, some form of emotional abuse may be the culprit, she could be over eating to soothe herself.

Tiki,

I've just had an idea...tell me if you think it may work...

The other week she was wanting to take my recipe book home, you know how you love your mother's cooking and miss it when you move out of home, so for Christmas I decided to make her a book with all her favourite recipes in it.

Now I'm thinking that I should go back to it and add a healthy eating plan into it. You know breakfast, lunch and dinner ideas or a weekly healthy eating program that I know they can cook and follow or choose simple dishes that will help...

Good luck with that, the boyfriend probably thinks in his lazy warped mind that if she's fat no one else will want her and he can continue to exploit her, make her feel she's unattractive so she'll cling to him even harder plus he can garner even more control, dominance over her and her life, if he's as toxic as you say he is then it wouldn't surprise me one bit if he's sabotaging her life by shoving the burger and fries into her mouth but yes try, your her mother and you wouldn't be a mother if you didn't at least try to insert some balance into her life, hope for the best and brace for rejection, expect her not listen or live by your new diet plan.

Just tell them straight out that she's getting fat. Why approach it delicately?