Can anyone understand this Leo Man—?

Ok, here it goes.
I've posted here a few times and even though I've been quiet for the last months I keep coming here once in a while to read other people experiences. And even though each person is different, it is very clear to me that there is a pattern here, regarding leo men behaviour.. but that's another story..

So..I'm Aries, he's Leo.
We've been together for almost 10 months. Not as bf / gf - he doesnt need the label he says. Yeah..right.
In the beginning he was lovely, really made a lot for us to be together but very soon after that he started being more distant, not so sweet, still keeping me around and wanting to be with me...but always with some distance.
A few months after we started going out, we had this conversation about having a relationship but not being bf / gf, which really hurt me but I gave the benefit of the doubt. I always thought and told me a lot of times if he never planned to be completely committed to me he should have been clear from the beginning, after all he was the one doing all the chase. Since then I tried to break up a lot of times because I don't feel fulfilled and I don't feel he is committed or a good partner.
For example, even thought he never lets me break up with him:
- he doesnt call me a gf;
- we don't do things with each other??s friends, we just do plans alone;
- things always have to be his way or no way;
- he doesn't have sweet gestures as words, little gifts, etc, which made me ask him a lot of times if we were in this only for sex;
- he doesnt call...we text or spk on gmail while we both work during the day;
- he is not a good partner. I moved house he doesn't offer to help with the moving, I tell him bad things that are happening to me and he keeps the conversation short, he never offers to do something good for me.
I know he is very shy with feelings and I think his childhood was different from mine and because he was a bit neglected by his parents probably he sees this as a normal way of liking someone, even though I made it very clear to him, that I don't. And in spite of all this things, the truth is, when we are together I like him, it is nice and feels good??_.but all those other things around it, make me very frustrated.

The exceptions usually happens everytime I want to break up, for the reasons above stated. Then he becomes attentive, sweet, I can see some effort...but after 1 or 2 days, it all goes back to the same.

I'm so so tired.
Sometimes I notice some little efforts, but those things should come naturally...not as an effort.

So, my birthday comes. I received calls from friends, gifts, the usual. He just texted me which I found a bit offensive. Because I??ve been so busy with work, I ended up not organizing anything, so I asked him in the afternoon if he wanted to go out with me for dinner since it was my bday. We went, not to the restaurant I wanted but to the one he wanted. The conversation was all about him. I kept all night thinking: this is about me, my night and you are there just talking about you. The check came and we split the bill, as usual. I don't think a man should always pay for the lady, but he never pays anything, we always split. I don't find that very gentleman like. Then we went home (his flat) and I didn't have any gift..not even a little flower. So I was sad.. He went to bed, waiting for me but I grabbed my things, thanked him for the company and went to sleep home.
Next day he apoligised, said he didn't notice he spent all night talking about him (I didn't mention the non gift thing) and so he made dinner for me to apologize.

Anyway, since I know him that he is been talking about a certain job abroad. A few weeks ago, after my bday, he finally got the interview. It would be sad to be apart from him if he gets it but I was obviously happy for him and always supported him on this. So the day he received the news I also asked him if we were going to meet up at night, to which he says: nop, we are not meeting for a week now as I'm going to prepare for the interview. Just like this.. So insensitive. We live 500meters from each other, we could do lunch or at least he could have put it differently.. So that day I made my mind: it is over. Waited for him to prepare for the interview, waited that week and when he returned (interview was abroad) he came to see mr straight from the airport. We grabbed a quick bite and I thought it was late and waited for the next day to bring the news. Meanwhile I didn't stay at his place.
Next day he invited me for dinner at his place and when I got there I said I wanted to have a serious conversation, the kind of conversation we have online and that he always avoids to have face to face.

Told him I had it, couldn't go on, that he was selfish, wasn't a good partner, didn't care for me, offended me by not wanting to assume me as a gf, that I feel frustrated with him being so cold, even insensitive at times, and that we were 2 different people, and therefore we should go separate ways. I said a lot of things, I was really determined.
But then he started hugging me, trying to kiss me and crying. Not compulsively but he eyes were red and wet, which I was not expecting. I talked more than he did and he insisted for me to stay and I ended up staying. Because I like being with him and I thought ok, now he got really scared, now he sees I'm not joking, so maybe he will start being a bit better.
He also asked if it was all bad about him, if there was nothing good about him, I said yes, otherwise I wouldn't be there. Next day I even wrote him an email with the good things, because I didn't want to be too harsh.

Guess what? Yep. Nothing changed. After that conversation, and even though he begged for me to stay, he became even more cold??_ I was like??_wtf? Then he says he doesn't understand why I feel this way?
This last week, I had a lot of things happening and he didn't care. Yesterday I texted him saying I was feeling sad and needed a hug, if I could go by his place. He only answered a couple of hours later saying he fell asleep??_but not asking how I was..!! I had my car clamped the day before. I told him. He has an empty garage but he never suggested I could use it??_so im not asking either.
Well, after trying and trying, after having an honest conversation and seeing all is equal, Im done. So today he texts in the afternoon asking me if I want to make a barbeque at my place. I don't reply. He texts a few hours later asking again, and asking if I was going to be busy. I reply saying yes, I will be busy. And I hope I will be able to cut things through finally.

Can anyone understand this man?
With all the bad things I stated you might be wondering what I am doing with him.. I think in a strange way I care for him, I like being around him??_. And it felt good to see I got some emotion out of him, but this is too much.

You actually know him and don't understand him, how can a stranger do any better? The only Leo traits I see is selfishness (but his case is extreme) and an inability to let you go even when he should.

You are an Aries and you're putting up with this? I'm surprised. My gf is an Aries & doesn't take my crap. She did when she was younger though. Really tried to make a bad relationship work and it seriously affected her for years.

Look, this is who he is; accept it or move on. You only have so much time on this planet. Get the thought out of your head that one day magically he will be what you want him to be. How it is now in the present will either be your future or part of your past. It's your decision.

Posted by Jonleo
You actually know him and don't understand him, how can a stranger do any better? The only Leo traits I see is selfishness (but his case is extreme) and an inability to let you go even when he should.

You are an Aries and you're putting up with this? I'm surprised. My gf is an Aries & doesn't take my crap. She did when she was younger though. Really tried to make a bad relationship work and it seriously affected her for years.

Look, this is who he is; accept it or move on. You only have so much time on this planet. Get the thought out of your head that one day magically he will be what you want him to be. How it is now in the present will either be your future or part of your past. It's your decision.

COSIGN!!! Same advice I would give you. He is who he is... he is not gonna change epecially not with your repetitive behaviour of returning to him time and time again and allowing him to remain. You are validating his behavior. Dump his ass and move on. You deserve better. Stop settling for mediocre. His inability to let you go is nothing more than an additional selfish action. He is gaining satisfaction by his ability to reel you back in everytime that he feels you have had enough. Leos like a challenge.... you only present a challenge to him when you threaten to leave. He then conquers you by securing you again. Its about HIM. Unfortunately, Leo are known to hang on to relationships even after they shouldnt for fear of failure.

The fact that he will not offically call you a gf is a big deal to me as well. It means that he has the quintessential "right" to act however he pleases without feeling any opbligation to do otherwise for anyone elses benefit. IF he made you his GIRLFRIEND... he could not easily explain away his actions... he is not accountable to you. MOVE ON!

yes, you are all right.
He is not a bad person, I know he has a good heart, but no doubt he has been extremely selfish and insensitive towards me.
Spoke to him yesterday. Presented my reasons and told him why we need to go separate ways. The usual drama.. give it some time, he says and things will happen naturally. I said I dont want to give more time.
So that's it. He sent me an email in the afternoon saying I was being mean to him, I didnt reply.
He texted me at night asking trivial stuff, I answered showing no emotions. Then texted again for us to meet tomorrow, I said I had plans with friends.
Lets see what will happen from now on, if I will be strong enough to keep my distance.
Thanks.

hi ya i could so see myself ending up like you with this leo man i have on and off all the time.. to be honest if he just want sex than fine i will just give him sex and thats it but i think that is aries weakest point though (im an aries) we just fall for people we sleep with .. but than we also have brains.. and we know when it has end.. im glad you have made up your mind and sticking to it.. i shall do the same when im bored of my leo's man mind game! .. because life is too short..

Posted by maryjane
Ok,
- he doesnt call me a gf;
- we don't do things with each other??s friends, we just do plans alone;
- things always have to be his way or no way;
- he doesn't have sweet gestures as words, little gifts, etc, which made me ask him a lot of times if we were in this only for sex;
- he doesnt call...we text or spk on gmail while we both work during the day;
- he is not a good partner. I moved house he doesn't offer to help with the moving, I tell him bad things that are happening to me and he keeps the conversation short, he never offers to do something good for me.

I NEED YOU TO READ THIS PASSAGE YOU WROTE AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN ANYTIME YOU SO MUCH AS THINK OF GIVING THIS JOKA ANOTHER CHANCE.IM SO IRRATATED JUS READING THIS, BUT DONT MIND MY IRRATATION I'VE JUS HAD ENOUGH OF THESE LEO MALES WITH THEIR OVERLY LARGE EGOS AND COCKY APPROACH TO ROMANCE...GET OUTTA HERE!! BUT FOR REAL GIRL THE WRITING IS ON THE DXP...MOST OF THE SIGNS WRITEN BY YOU! LOVELYLIBRA TELL HER "IF HIS ACTIONS DONT MATCH" AINT THAT WHAT YOU SAID...

AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE HE DOESNT EVEN FULLY ACKNOWLEDGE YOU ON YOUR BDAY, OH HELL NO! MY BDAY IS LIKE MY NATIONAL HOLIDAY, AND THIS JOKE DIDNT EVEN HAVE THE DECENTCY TO BUY YOU A GIFT N GOT THE NERVER TO TRY N GET SOME BDAY SEX...PAHLEEEEZ!! NEXT!

WHOOPS I MEANT *SWEETLIBRA...LMAO

@SweetLibra GIRL i sure hope so!lol..especially since i aint met a ugly one yet...that makes it even more frustrating..lol

Okey about your leo Bf this is nutshell .....

He only needs sex from you ... if you give him sex he will never look back at you because lion only chases those things which are hard to get ... like its prey if you give them dead prey .... the lion wont eat or took time to eat its dead prey .... ...

1.... never let him have sex ..... with you

2..... To see if he truely loves you be with another friend in front of him and he will be so jealous about it ... if he be jealous he thinks you to be his property ....

3..... Try to avoid calls or text from him ... give him room or spcae he will keep comming back to you...

4... never let him have your best ... keep yours best with you .....

5. leo men they never cry ... because they are very secretive and dont show tears in public or in front of those whom they love or adore alot....

6...... Be little distant from him but not too much ... attend him but not with full attention so he may feel he is doing mistake letting your behaviour in this way ......

IF YOU NEED MORE I CAN TYPE .....

Thanks for the tips, whitehorse.
Here's what I've been doing:
I broke it off last monday night. Since then he has been constantly trying to convice me to change my mind. To which I keep answering that I've had enough with being a part time gf, if he wants me he needs to assume the relationship.
Then on friday I left my car in his garage for the weekend and agreed to meet him on monday to take it out. So on Monday I saw him again, but I was very cool: Hello, how are you...bla bla...nice weather. Then I entered the car and he asked if I wanted to go and grab something to eat. I dismissed it, said thanks but had to go, as I was tired. In the afternoon he also kept texting asking me to go and see a movie. Well, since I broke the news he has been pretty much trying to get back.
So, on Monday after taking the car he texts again asking me to go for a walk. So I ask him what he wants from that walk. Because if it was going to be a walk where we would be pretending that nothing has happened then I was going to refuse. He made a little drama saying it was just a walk so I went. We've been out for 3 hours, talked as if nothing happened then he brought me home I said godbye (thinking what a coward, he doesnt have the guts to speak to me openly) and then asked me if I wanted to go to his place and watch a movie. I said thanks but no and left. So, texts again at night, saying he was sad because of my distance, that he wanted to be with me and I answered that he had 3 hours to speak about it and he did nothing. Told him i like men that face situations, not men that hide behind a mobile screen. So we kept back and forth texting...but no conclusion.

Today the same story, he comes to speak to me online, we just ex changed maybe 12 texts but I keep my distance and my position: I dont want to go on with someone that doesnt want to assume me as a gf. He keeps saying he likes me, we have a relationship, he desires me, he misses me...bla bla bla bla...but the truth is, if he really wanted me he would be proud of having me as a gf, not the opposite, which I also told him.

So that's the story so far. im not being rude, i keep speaking to him, I answer his texts, but im not moving or leaving my position. I know he is going nuts without sex, but he needs to show me he is missing more than that.

about point 5. he did cry in front of me the other day. I mean, not compulsively, but his eyes were all red a teared up. And as cruel as this might sound, in a strange way it felt good to see some real emotion coming out of him.

pinklibra / sweet libra - I obviously read both of your posts. I kept reading them to get strenght specially during those first 2/3 days after breaking the news to him. But this last 8 days he heard those points several times, trust me. I made sure to tell him time and time again how wrong his actions were ...with examples! 🙂