Friend of Leo Male on My Last Nerve

We were out with his friends. One friend who is in particular a fan of mine asks me for my phone number so we can hook up for a drink sometimes, I said, no that isn't going to happen and that if he wants to know if I'm around he can go through LM...the guy I'm dating...his FRIEND. So about 30mins later this guy says he has to go and LM had to leave also. I told LM that I will see him at his place shortly and was going to sit and finish my drink. LM leaves and the next thing I know his friend is walking over with a drink instead of leaving like he said and corners me. "LM is a nice guy but he doesn't deserve you" he says. I excuse myself and leave right then.

Last night at dinner LM asks me about friend and I was honest. I told him I didn't think the guy was much of a friend and I told him exactly what happened. It turned into a long conversation and I could tell he was disappointed. He really liked friend. I feel terrible and don't want to be in the middle of bad vibes with LM and friend. However if one of my friends is doing that to LM I would want him to tell me.

We always text something sweet every morning. I sent one this morning. He always answers right away. And nothing...crickets. Any other day I would just assume he is busy..no big deal. But I have a knot in my stomach about the discussion last night and wonder if the whole situation has turned him off. I am sad because I didn't want to tell him friend is an ass...but it wasn't my fault he was pressing me. I thought I did the right thing but my vibe is he has disappeared on me now.... :-/

He's probably just mad at the situation and friend, not you in particular.

I hope you are right Greentea...

Posted by busyeyes88
Very tricky situation. LM must have suspected this "friend" all along to be asking you questions about him... He should not really have done this. I personally would have said nothing to him and dealt with LM's friend personally ie just warn him to refrain from speaking about the LM to you.

Became it could now be a case of "shoot the messenger "..!

Have you been dating the LM long?

We have been seeing each other for about two months. He asked because he heard me tell his friend no to giving up my phone number. So I didn't see a reason not to tell him. But I'm not so sure now. Sigh...why would you shoot the messenger? If he can't handle direct honesty then I suppose it is better to find out now. I would have felt lied to if our situations were reversed and he didn't tell me. I still haven't heard from and that is very unusual so you may be calling it and I'm in trouble for being the messenger.

Posted by queencancer
I agree. Friend is scum and it always sucks to discover that and takes time to process. Plus friend probably tried to turn the tables around on you. What do you do? Nothing. Just go do you. The scum on friend will eventually be seen. Let go and let God (or whatever you believe in).

YES! Friend is scum and not a friend if he is acting that way. I thought about this too and figured maybe he needed some alone time to process what we discussed. Our relationship is very new and we both agree we are in one. This is the first time I've had to deliver bad news. I could tell he was disappointed and hurt.

Thanks for the encouragement. I haven't really dated anyone except my ex in 13 years so I'm a little anxious. Hopefully he is just busy and not intentionally ignoring me. I'm 40 and feel like 14 again ha ha. We are both going to a mutual friends party to night so I will see him eventually and let you guys know how it went. I am just going to have to live with my stomach churning until then. Appreciate all the feedback!

Well he got around to responding and said he is thinking of me and will see me later so that is a good sign 🙂 Thanks, again, for hanging with me during my anxiety.

Well I just thought I would update on this situation. LM and I went to a party on Friday. He asked me to meet him at his house and we drove together. The first thing he said as we pulled out of the driveway was, "If FRIEND is there tonight, I'm going to have a little talk with him". I asked if he thought the party was a good place for that and he said, "What would you do if one of your friends was asking for my number and telling me you didn't deserve me"...and I couldn't argue with him on that point. My Scorpio self reared up inside and I said honestly, "I would kill them."

So LM ended up calling friend out on his butter and friend acted like he must of been drunk and didn't remember saying or doing those things. Whatever. LM dropped it but I could tell he felt better for calling him out. Friend was sulky and pouted the rest of the night. LM and I had an amazing evening and I'm glad I was open with him about what was going on. I appreciate all your responses. This was really weighing me down and I could tell it was bothering LM too since it was something he mentioned right away and took immediate action on. At least he didn't want to kill the messenger! 🙂

Posted by hexum
Well I just thought I would update on this situation. LM and I went to a party on Friday. He asked me to meet him at his house and we drove together. The first thing he said as we pulled out of the driveway was, "If FRIEND is there tonight, I'm going to have a little talk with him". I asked if he thought the party was a good place for that and he said, "What would you do if one of your friends was asking for my number and telling me you didn't deserve me"...and I couldn't argue with him on that point. My Scorpio self reared up inside and I said honestly, "I would kill them."

So LM ended up calling friend out on his butter and friend acted like he must of been drunk and didn't remember saying or doing those things. Whatever. LM dropped it but I could tell he felt better for calling him out. Friend was sulky and pouted the rest of the night. LM and I had an amazing evening and I'm glad I was open with him about what was going on. I appreciate all your responses. This was really weighing me down and I could tell it was bothering LM too since it was something he mentioned right away and took immediate action on. At least he didn't want to kill the messenger! 🙂

Hooray. 🙂 Both you and LM handled that well - responsibly.

UPDATE: Well apparently friend is not getting the hint. Last night things escalated and I had to embarrass him to make it stop. It started with him standing right next to me every time LM turned his back. Then he would lean his head way into my personal space to make it appear that he was trying to look around someone to see what was on the tv. All he had to do was stand a step away from me and he could watch to his hearts content. The last straw was me coming back from the restroom and he was humming a song and then sang out loud when I walked by "have I told you that you have a beautiful body?" and when I looked up he acted innocent and said "have you ever heard that song?".

And then I went off, "NO and GROSS, and I don't even want to talk with you at this point about anything! (LM walked up to us right then and I continued saying to friend in front of LM) You know friend, you really need to STOP, I mean seriously, I don't know how you were raised but I am getting sick of you invading my personal bubble, buttering me up all the time, and now what I consider inappropriate comments. So we are clear, I am dating this guy (and I point to LM) so back the F off already." And LM says "Are you pissing her off?" and friend says as I knew he would "Whoa, I am sorry if I offended you, I didn't mean anything by it. I was just curious if you knew that song...it has been stuck in my head all day". And I said, "Whatever, just be aware that my personal boundaries with anyone but LM is right here!" and I extend my arm straight out and point down drawing an imaginary circle around myself. He said sorry again and sulked off.

LM asked what friend said to set me off and I told him what had happened with the invasion of my personal space and he said "always when my back is turned, right?" and I said "Yes, and that is how I know that friend knows how he is behaving is wrong and inappropriate or he would feel free to do it in your face". And LM says "remind ME not to get on your bad side" and smiled and kissed me. I love that guy.

LM still friends with "friend"?

Let's make it even more interesting -- what's his friend's sign?

To answer your questions 1) They are civil but LM has backed off from him. We are in the same group of friends so Friend is still around and trying to act like nothing happened. LM and I have been spending a lot of alone time together away from friends the past week so it hasn't been an issue. 2) Friend is a Taurus sun sign. Not sure any other placements but I find him weak and manipulative vs. other Taurus Males that I know who have some gumption and integrity.