help me with this mess

so. long story short. i live in the same area as the leo formerly known as the knobhead and i am currently dating one of his friends. i was reticent about getting involved with the crab cos of overhanging issues with the leo who seems to have made fucking me around an annual event. he seemed to have no problem fucking me around (ie arranging dates and then blowing me out) UNTIL he actually saw me whereupon he started to backtrack but by then it was too late. he'd said some horrible things about me to the crab...suggesting I wouldn't leave him alone (lol) and i'd been told he was back with his on/off skanky girlfriend...so i basically told him to leave me alone.

i've been honest with the crab all along and he knew the reason i was holding back from him was cos of the leo but told me that he accepted it as being something in the past which was best left in the past.

thing is...i bump into the leo all the time these days. mostly when i'm with the crab and if we're together, the leo greets me like an old friend...all kissy kissy and fake. if i don't respond in the same way the crab gets upset cos it shows the leo still gets to me and so there's me and the leo being all kissy kissy when tbh, i can't stand the sight of him!!

on saturday there was a big birthday drink for some guy and the crab was already at the bar so i joined him later. when i arrived the leo was by the door and the first person i saw and cos i wasn't with the crab we just look at eachother with gormless expressions, lol and then i feel his eyes on me the entire time until i do what i usually do and tell the crab i'm going home. he knows i don't want to be there cos of the leo and obviously it upsets him but i just can't seem to bloody well stop him getting to me 😢

all i want is an opportunity to talk to the leo and clear the air but it won't happen because he's friends with the crab and is mindful of man code. i don't want to hurt the crab but i don't even know if i should be with him with this stuff going on in my head about the leo and feel like i should just be taking a break from men altogether to work things out...but then again i think a part of me would want the leo to come get me if i was single again and that would most likely end in tears.

i would never contemplate cheating and neither would the leo so that's not the issue. the issue for me is that i don't know if it's right to be with the crab when the leo still gets to me as much as he does 😢

Hello doll 🙂

Nice to see you on the Leo board once again. I think we need a little Seraph here for some guidance. My .02 tuppance is...

if the issue is whether to stay with crabby man or not, I can't see how it would hurt actually. Unless it inhibits your personal space for him (Crab) to always be making comments about the leo to you. In other words, you may need to place a strict boundary on crab man to not always ask "Are you leaving the bar cus of the leo??". That's HIS insecurities and not your responsibility.

If deep down you're thinking that the leo won't come around to you again cus you're dating the crab and secretly you want him to, the only thing I would remind you of is all the times the leo reached out (When you were single) and each time you accepted his communication, he turned and ran away. Unless you directly approach the leo with a full head on conversation, I doubt anything will be different. It sounds like you have an itch for which there is no scratch.

i don't even know if i'm capable of a conversation with the leo in any case. when i see him i just feel humiliated really. it doesn't make me feel any better that he clearly wants me....i know that look....cos it's just his ego/dick talking. i just want to get to a place where i can see him and not be affected by it and so in some senses i think the best way to do that is for the leo to prove he's the knobhead i think he is which will only happen if i'm single for a while.

i don't even know if i'm making sense here tbh. i'm confused..hence the thread i guess.

lol @ half-hearted!! very true indeed. i'm mindful of my commitment phobia at its part in this. you HAVE to be my therapist seraph...perhaps i should've just pm'd you 🙂

yeah...you know you're right seraph. i think i'm making an issue where there is no issue just cos i think there should be an issue, lol. in other words, i'm just winding myself up for no apparent reason. it's a national holiday here in spain but tomorrow i'll be working again and my daughter will be back from england (woo hoo!!!)...so i'm sure my very busy day to day will keep me out of trouble and stop my mind wandering through piles of poo.

i think a lot of it is to do with the ridiculous physical attraction between me and the leo. we're both kind of like peacocks if you know what i mean. despite it being absolutely freezing on saturday night, he took off his jacket to show some very impressive guns that he's been honing by the looks of things. funnily enough his jacket was a red biker- style and i happened to be wearing the same style jacket. we would look great together and it's almost 100% vanity on my part, lol. i don't even have feelings for the leo.....i guess i just want to prove a point.

i'll forget about it in a few days and get a grip!!

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
but then again i think a part of me would want the leo to come get me if i was single again and that would most likely end in tears.

i would never contemplate cheating and neither would the leo so that's not the issue. the issue for me is that i don't know if it's right to be with the crab when the leo still gets to me as much as he does 😢

Reading the first part of your post, the idea never even crossed my mind until YOU said it, "I would never contemplate cheating" . Ouch!

What is it about this Leo anyway? What's his hold over you? Undefinable chemistry? Sexual compatibility? Emotional......?

Forget about the last part, I see you already answered that...

i'm a bit like a bloke enfant. mars in leo. i just feel like i didn't conquer him and i don't like it.

Posted by sugaries

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
i'm a bit like a bloke enfant. mars in leo. i just feel like i didn't conquer him and i don't like it.

Haven't you though? He's starting rumors about you...trying to get a reaction out of you. At this point, I feel like you have the upper hand. No? What could you do at this point to conquer him? I don't really know the history between you two.

click to expand

It's a very very lengthy one.

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
i'm a bit like a bloke enfant. mars in leo. i just feel like i didn't conquer him and i don't like it.

Here in lies the typical Leo conundrum. The need to conquer. No matter how much it may F* us up!

^^^INDEED Seraph...hear, hear!!

So hard to do!

Posted by seraph
BGP, I miss your avis.

Here ya go, my friend 🙂

Drool all over it, if you please 😉

Posted by Huntress

Posted by sugaries

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
i'm a bit like a bloke enfant. mars in leo. i just feel like i didn't conquer him and i don't like it.

Haven't you though? He's starting rumors about you...trying to get a reaction out of you. At this point, I feel like you have the upper hand. No? What could you do at this point to conquer him? I don't really know the history between you two.

It's a very very lengthy one.

click to expand

OMG that made me laugh so hard i nearly had kittens!!!!!

surgaries: be grateful you don't know the history...very grateful lol!!

i need new glasses cos i thought seraph said he missed bgp's ass!!

mind you i guess he did in a way 😛

Seraph and I too have....a long history 😛


Involving assess 😉

Posted by BigGirlPanties
Seraph and I too have....a long history 😛


Involving assess 😉

Or assets.. perhaps? 😉