Just had a huge blow out with Leo Man

I said I was done but I wanted to add something that was funny. No I dont want him back in my life and if I did, it aint happening anytime soon. You break my trust and we are pretty much done for good and I dont look back on it.

He also said to me "Hope You had a nice holiday, too", hahaha, because I just came straight off the bat asking what the deal was if he was seeing someone, seriously, I called him and he is hurt I wasnt nice and all smiles, loving as usual? What a joke!

Has anyone else had this experience with Leos?

"Or maybe I just misunderstood this Leo completely, if he has this brand spanking new GF he is willing to blow some $ $ $ to fly her out on vacation and he's only known her for weeks, I dont even see why he bothered to keep me around as a friend, especially when he claims we only talk about work and work gossip, we are just casual work friends?"

a hug, a chaste kiss on the cheek and text messages outside of work do not a leo bf make......

do you dump all of your friends when you have a bf? why shouldn't he spend his money how he sees fit? why does he have to answer to you? he never indicated that you were anything more than casual friends! why are you demanding from him something he told you he didn't want? you refused to listen to what he has been telling you all along.

your diatribe is disturbing.

My problem isnt about the $ $ $ he has spent, its the fact that even when he he has mentioned the word we're casual friends, he has said "assume I like you, assume I want to spend more time with you" without him having to declare all the time. So I was supposed to assume we are OK even though clearly we werent and I had even approached him about it a few times, suggested we remain professional only for him to just tell me to chill out, we are casual, we arent BFF? If we were casual friends as he claimed then he should have been fine with me ending it a few times before without trying to pull me back in.

and sorry I havent figure out how to edit my own comments on here and if I have been "disturbing", it's not often that I get angry but when someone crosses me, I have to let loose.


if I didnt listen, he also never listened to me, either. so whatever conversations we had about trust, obviously meant nothing.

Crap...if I knew how to just edit this, I would have condensed these all into smaller posts, I swear.

I don't want to sound like I am a Leo hating, either. My confusion came from the fact like every woman who has probably experienced this with a Leo is that he always treated me with kindness, care and warmth in person, very different from what I had experienced when we werent spending time with each other.


Whatever he would knock down about being casual work friends via email, went out the door completely when we were together, he would always treat me as if I was the only woman in the room.

Everything was fine except when there was any discussion about feelings, which is when he would cut me down to almost nothing.

fair enough -we all have our moments. but you should understand that he doesn't "owe" you a romantic relationship.

you're trying to punish him by taking away your friendship because he doesn't feel the way you want him to. real friends don't do that.

And of course all I feel what is owed to me is the truth not romance. Not oh we are casual work friends but I will take you to lunch, we will go to dinner, make plans in advance, I'll tell you everything else but the fact I may or may not be involved with someone. I've even asked him if he could introduce me to one of his single male friends in the past and he just ignored me or any male friend I have, he thought they were all gay for some reason. My "casual" friends and I are spontaneous, we hang out when we can, we dont plan in advance, we go out in groups, we talk about who we are and arent dating.

I think my friendship was good enough for him until something else better came along, which is why many times I told him I didnt feel comfortable with us being casual in the first place. Whatever I am done and tired. Thanks for listening. As you can tell I am calm now, lol.

"The new GF only found out what his native state was and how long he lived there for a week ago, when I knew about this info when we first met! Its just weird to all of a sudden be treated like an acquaintance the second a hot chick comes along! He also may be showering her with an expensive xmas gift but she probably doesnt know about the big wad of debt he has built up and all his 401k he spent 3 years ago, either, hehe"

so f**cking what? do realize how manipulative and untrustworthy you sound? HIS 401k, HIS money and HIS romantic life belong to him and are none of your business! and you've never been anything more than an acquaintance! good gawd!

disturbing indeed.....

stalking online? we are linked as friends online, how is that stalking?

just for the record, the lunches were not work lunches to discuss work, never were. the last time we went out he had asked me, wasnt the other way around. the texting, emailing, phone calls were all pretty mutual. the hanging out was always and strictly on the purpose of "getting to know each other better".

my point was that he had revealed a lot of information to me right off the bat, i didnt pry or pull the info out of him, he felt comfortable sharing all this information to me, but even when I had tried to pull out of the friendship 3-4 times in the past he would yell at me when I would nicely try to explain.

Im done discussing this. There's way too much info that could never go into a messageboard.

Appreciate all the feedback however.

This post seems interesting, the little bit I saw, I can see why angryvirgo feels the way she feels, leo men are very charming and in some cases very misleading, I see a lot of men in general act as if there is friendship when it's convienant for them but when it's not they are gone and act as if it's all in the womans head...I don't know if this is the case but I can see why angryvirgo may have felt their was a friendship when indeed there probably was never a friendship.

lol

oh I see, so he was telling her how he felt but I guess wires got crossed

I decided to hide the posts because I was over discussing this, lol. I would not imagine things in my head like this, as a virgo I do not trust easily, let alone easily reveal any feelings and in fact am usually reserved and cool. He knows my issues with trust, we've had discussions about this. My understanding with Leos is that you have to continually stroke their egos, so even though I am not one to give out compliments, I did it anyway, even though I felt very vulnerable doing it.

When I have told him I am concerned that I am starting to care more than I should and I think we should just maintain a professional relationship this is when he would get defensive and tell me "we are just casual", rather than just agreeing with me that is best to just part ways. I would then question why he is getting so defensive if in his mind we are just casual, if we're just casual, then be cool with what I want to do and dont make me feel like a jerk for wanting to protect myself.

He broke up with his GF two months ago, he told me he needed some space to clear his head, which we didnt talk for a few weeks after that. Every time we talked in between that time he said he was going through a deep mind cleansing, not seeing anyone, etc. A few weeks after that we started to spend more time together and talking more frequently, the CASUAL word no longer came up until I found out about the very new GF.

The lunches were not work lunches, just because I am his client doesnt mean the premise was work, we were hanging out because we wanted to. The dinners, going to parties and for drinks was because we wanted to hang out. As I mentioned before, he is/was pretty new in town and when I first met him as his client he told me he was looking to make more friends and he was lonely--so yes I took the initiative in the beginning to invite him out with me and my friends and yes we did go out alone, too.

I dont think I need to justify the phone calls, emails or texting, we were in regular contact with another more than a few times a week, which is in all honesty more than I am in touch with some of my closer friends.

As far as stalking, the one site I am talking about allows people to comment on status' and on their wall, so as soon as someone else sends a comment after yours, you get notified when you log on, thats just the way Facebook works!I cant help she had posted after I did and I get a notification, that is how I figured out he seemed to have a more than friendl

I'm not sure why I am being attacked here or what I'm posting is being belittled, not sure if that's how the hazing for newbie posters are, but I prefer to treat each poster with respect in a public form.

I had questioned where we stood as friends because a lot of personal information has been exchanged, plans were being made to hang out, regular communucation --it seemed that we were bonding and getting along well. We never really communicated our values on friendships or relationships, but now I know romance is more important to him than a slow, building friendship--OK, now I know we both want different things.

Our last conversation before this was he told me "not to overthink whats going on, do not worry, if I am making plans with you, assume I like you, I do not need to make big declarations that I do". How could I be making this up in my head when those were his exact words that yes maybe we are more than casual friends and that when that conversation came up it might have been a good time for him to mention he was seeing someone new?

The funny part is I am in marketing and yes he's our channel sales manager, my job never really required his help but I went to him because I wanted to and I liked him, but he always remind me how much he needed me as much as I needed him, which was never true. I got to where I was because I bust my ass off 60 hours a week and then some.

Im not trying to manipulate anyone, forgive me, Ive been up for many hours now and I hid the posts because I was tired of the "hazing" of my posts and having to log back onto explain everything I had posted. Im obviously not angry as I was last night, I am hurt and disppointed, thats all. Yeah, I was online previewing some profiles on match.com deciding whether or not I should take the plunge and consider dating, when I punched in the age range I was looking for, he was one of the 300 guys listed on there---of course I was surprised to see him there, just surprised because his last break up was so bad that he would be out there wanting to date so soon.

I found out about the girl through facebook though, she commented after I had commented on something and bing! I got the notification!

Virgos by nature do not easily reveal feelings and do more so through giving, everything I told him was sincere I just am not comfortable with verbalizing it but I knew in order for him to know that I appreciated him that I had to force myself to tell him, too.

Also it's weird for me to be posting all this specific information and examples but I know that's the price you pay for posting in a public form 🙂 I had read quite a bit of the great information on here in the past, lurking -----so I thought maybe there would be some relatable tales or stories that might have been shared if I had vented my story.

Oh I'm not emabarassed I sent the email, the initial one wasnt in rage, I was in rage after after he responded and claimed all the conversations we had were about me and my world, therefore it was my fault that I didnt know about the new GF. That's when I unleashed the beast. I'll be hard on myself about this because that's how virgos are, the highest expectations are for ourselves.

I'm intrigued about this issue, there were times were you could have just walked and with a leo you either do it or you don't, to attempt it and not do it is unattractive and feels manipulative.

Leo men (some not all) but most are not scared to say how they feel, this is the one sign that will profess like and love fairly quickly, the fact that he didn't do that in the beginning was que that he only ever wanted friendship with you or wasn't sure so he dated you which may have felt like he was misleading you...dating a friend would confuse me as well lol

I guess some are saying you manipulated the issue because MAYBE just maybe you used your feelings about ending the budding friendship/relationship as a way to get him to say how he felt about you without you having to come straight out and say it especially since you left yourself vulnerable by telling him how you felt so you were attempting to protect yourself when in all honesty you didn't have to, he would have eventually come around to telling you how he felt if you had been a bit more secure with how you gave him love and attention.

This is part of the reason virgo women and leo men clash, instead of allowing things to fall in line romantically you systematically attempted to control the outcome, once leo felt the strain of having to validate his queen he's going to move on, period. Confidence is very much needed with leo men, The analyzing and over analyzing and needing validation is a huge huge turn off, over thinking-thinking too much is not romantic, your behavior made him feel frienship when he really wanted to feel romance, sparks and flames of love.

I believe his sharing sensitive private things with you showed how comfortable he felt around you initially but once he realized you didn't feel secure with allowing things to flow on it's own then he backed out, if he was hanging out with you then he obviously thought highly of you but not enough to go beyond anything else once he saw weakness in your character and when I say weak I mean you lacked the confidence in yourself which is needed for him to respect and be in love with you.

In my own experience a woman has to be comfortable being emotionally open and vulnerable with a leo male or it won't work, the whole tit for tat I let you see my true emotions now show me yours thing is a huge turn off.

Very interesting perspective! This is the closest I have ever gotten to a Leo, so all of this was very new to me. In the past when I had doubts about being friends---- he would always have some way to twist it around and say we were just casual. I always said to him that maybe we have different interpretations of friendship, which is OK with me but then he would get real cold, fast. Bad mistake on my part to then apologize for bringing up the topic, he of course never apologized for being so stubborn!

Virgos are overanalyzers by nature, but I think I confused the Leo need for attention and adoration which I did give a lot of. Virgos need to be thanked every once in a while. Whenever I tried to express that he would blow up at me or get really cold, say some really harsh things that I would have never expected. He would tell me these conversations about "feelings" are not fun.

Things were always fine when we hung out, it would be like that conversation never happened and each time together was awesome as he would describe.

I agree with you, I am already closed off as it is so I wasnt willing to let my guard down and when I did I freaked out.

Oh Leokitten, when he meant the conversations were about my world, he said specifically we only discuss work and the gossip at my office --- which is why he said I didnt know about the new GF. Our topics of conversation are always varied, he knows it, I know it, as they always flow really well and are non-stop, with a bigger portion of it being about him!

"Virgos are overanalyzers by nature, but I think I confused the Leo need for attention and adoration which I did give a lot of. Virgos need to be thanked every once in a while. Whenever I tried to express that he would blow up at me or get really cold, say some really harsh things that I would have never expected. He would tell me these conversations about "feelings" are not fun."

Well leo men (not all leo men) are selfish as in very self centered, when he gives love he GIVES love 200% but you can't expect with each ego stroke he will reciprocate uh no he's the KING of the jungle, he knows he's great your just affirming what he already knows but no he will not say thank you...for the exception of leo women unless you know how to fight a leo male it's best to just leave it alone and tackle it later when things are calm or shall I say after you have given him a heavy dose of ego stroking. Talking about feelings is exhausting, they FEEL, they are LOVE, they are glorious so why talk about it, hush up and bask in my glow, that's what wants you to do...he felt unappreciated afterall he's enough, why would you need more when he's completely focused on you when your with him...this is his train of thought

For the exception of leo women, figting a leo male is futile, how you fight with him means everything and I simply feel he didn't see you in his life without straining so he moved on...I'm thinking you 2 misunderstood one another, it happens all the time.

You can't hold back with a leo male because he doesn't hold back, you needed a dose of reciprocation, not that you wouldn't have gotten it eventually but I guess your fears made you over analyze and react in a way that turned him off.

Interesting indeed.

What I'm curious about is if a Leo male ever considers a partner who is their best friend that they develop deep feelings for rather than just someone who makes them feel initial fireworks and sparks?

Do they also jump from relationship to relationship rather quickly? Everything I read seems to point at leo males having a lot of failed relationships because they tend to fall too fast and sometimes make poor choices in partners because of superficial reasons.

I can kind of see this happening with this guy and I dont know the new GF could just be the rebound girl. Last month he was travelling and booked at week long conferences quite a bit for work up through the early part of this month, so all of this happening so fast, so soon with this girl, of course is unheard of to a timid virgo like me, lol 😉

Great post proverbs and I have to agree and I might be wrong but angryvirgo you may have over killed it which made you feel emotionally imbalanced, meaning after all that ego stroking you needed validation to balance things out because you most likely gave way too much attention and ego strokes...it's a delicate balance...give too much you burn out, give too little you lose

Consider a bestfriend romantically? It's not impossible, maybe someone could shed some light on that, I would think he would much rather secure the friendship instead of jeopardize it by losing his friend through love, besides if he loves you, you won't have much time to really think about it, he's going to make you a girlfriend of interest real fast, despite how quick it fades, fireworks and sparks win each and everytime, can't help it, it's all part of the leo males charm and magnetism

I wouldn't worry too much about the new girl, he will probably burn her up and toss her, never know.

Yeah you are right,I definetly gave too much, damn Virgo in me, being so service oriented, we aim too please, luckily in a business environment, it has paid off well for me at least, lol! 🙂

Each time I had thought about keeping things on a professional level with him, I felt a great since of guilt, knowing he had very few friends out here and that I would leave him friendless. So as much as I wanted to do things for myself, I couldnt help but be worried about him.

Oh boy, I feel like such a sucker!

I think I mentioned it before that I didnt even cry when I found out about this girl, it's not because I am stone cold-- I just dont feel threatened by her, I think he is lonely and will take full advantange of such a willing girl.

Each time I had thought about keeping things on a professional level with him, I felt a great since of guilt, knowing he had very few friends out here and that I would leave him friendless. So as much as I wanted to do things for myself, I couldnt help but be worried about him.

haha - really? is he a kid?


I think he is lonely and will take full advantange of such a willing girl.

But if he asked you to be his girlfriend, and you agreed, will that make you such a willing girl too?

LOL, no he is a grown man in his 30's but he sometimes acts like he's at least 10 years younger.

I would not want to be with him in that way at this moment, no, that would make me the rebound girl. The more I understand, it doesnt seem like we're a good fit anyway.

he's a fire sign, they always have a child-like twinkle but never ever helpless...over-extending yourself will be at your own cost... 🙂