azaria
@azaria
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 39 · Topics: 3
leo friend..angry and hurt..help
You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
Are you just friends.. Or more? She is probably finding the repeated silent treatment a bit much, and it also depends on what the situation is that's causing the silent treatment. It might be a big deal to you but not to her? U say she has tried many times to put itright but it appears that is not good enough for you? So she has had enough. She wants you to fix the root of the problem and not a quick fix like the symptoms. For both your sakes if you want this to work swallow your pride and meet her halfway - and tell her this. I am Aries with a Leo I know what I'm talking about. Hope this helps and good luck hon 🙂
just leave her alone for now. probably she will reach out when she cools down (which could take time given what happened) and if she thinks the friendship is worth it.
Cry.
And make sure you're bearing a thoughtful gift.
As long as it is sincere, this ought to do it.
lol
Then stop being so weird and moody.
And make sure you're bearing a thoughtful gift.
As long as it is sincere, this ought to do it.
lol
Then stop being so weird and moody.
The silent treatment is one of the very worst things you can do to someone. It is painful and one of the worst forms of punishment. It takes a human being and makes them nonexistent. You will get your Leo friend back when you show/prove to her that you have learned this important life lesson.
Leos believe in loyalty through thick and thin. Communication is key. If you can't be loyal and communicative when the going gets rough, you won't be able to keep a Leo on your side for very long.
Leos believe in loyalty through thick and thin. Communication is key. If you can't be loyal and communicative when the going gets rough, you won't be able to keep a Leo on your side for very long.
Posted by SpiceNSugar
The silent treatment is one of the very worst things you can do to someone. It is painful and one of the worst forms of punishment. It takes a human being and makes them nonexistent. You will get your Leo friend back when you show/prove to her that you have learned this important life lesson.
Leos believe in loyalty through thick and thin. Communication is key. If you can't be loyal and communicative when the going gets rough, you won't be able to keep a Leo on your side for very long.
Exactly.
Sell me out, and you're history.
Loyalty is huge.
I still think that throwing herself at the *mercy* of her friend is the way to go.
We have quite a bit. 🙂
Posted by Montgomery
I still think that throwing herself at the *mercy* of her friend is the way to go.
I beg to differ on this point.
What the OP describes is not about mercy but about the suffering the Leo friend has gone through as a result of repeated moments of silence.
When someone is hurt in this way, most esp. a Leo who fundamentally needs/expects recognition, rebound time can be quite long.
I refer back to my original statement above:
"You will get your Leo friend back when you show/prove to her that you have learned this important life lesson".
My best friend and boy friend are both leos they are both gving me the silent treatment right now and I'm just about done with it. Its so disrespectful wheather its personal or not. Its the worst thing u can do to someone. I don't know how u can get your friend back but would suggest if ur Lucky enough to. Don't ever do that again. Make time for ur loved ones cause after a while they stop reaching out.
You know Shorty. I have been following your posts for close to a year now.
I don't know how to say this any other way so I am just going to say it. Your Leo is abusive. Perhaps not physically but mentally for sure.
I read your thread the other day about how you were afraid he was going to kick you out of the house. a home that you share together. Huh....wait what. What kind of person does that to someone they are in a relationship with?
I don't know you all that well but I am certain you could do better. He sounds like the Devil.
I don't know how to say this any other way so I am just going to say it. Your Leo is abusive. Perhaps not physically but mentally for sure.
I read your thread the other day about how you were afraid he was going to kick you out of the house. a home that you share together. Huh....wait what. What kind of person does that to someone they are in a relationship with?
I don't know you all that well but I am certain you could do better. He sounds like the Devil.
Posted by SpiceNSugarPosted by Montgomery
I still think that throwing herself at the *mercy* of her friend is the way to go.
I beg to differ on this point.
What the OP describes is not about mercy but about the suffering the Leo friend has gone through as a result of repeated moments of silence.
When someone is hurt in this way, most esp. a Leo who fundamentally needs/expects recognition, rebound time can be quite long.
I refer back to my original statement above:
"You will get your Leo friend back when you show/prove to her that you have learned this important life lesson".click to expand
And you're free to do that-- but the "rebound time" you speak of is when there has been no formal recognition of the wrong that has been done.
Which is why I suggested a plea for mercy-- we can be magnanimous like that (srsly).
I find it nearly impossible to hold a grudge against a friend with a truly contrite heart.
It isn't in my nature to deny forgiveness or punish a wrong that has been freely and sincerely admitted.
If there is none of that, however, I will withhold my presence and completely block your ass by any means possible.
It's possible that my Pisces moon may be doing some of the talking-- but I doubt it.
But maybe some other LEOs will weigh in on whether or not they can (or do) withhold mercy from the penitent.
I can't.
Posted by Montgomery
And you're free to do that-- but the "rebound time" you speak of is when there has been no formal recognition of the wrong that has been done.
Which is why I suggested a plea for mercy-- we can be magnanimous like that (srsly).
I find it nearly impossible to hold a grudge against a friend with a truly contrite heart.
It isn't in my nature to deny forgiveness or punish a wrong that has been freely and sincerely admitted.
If there is none of that, however, I will withhold my presence and completely block your ass by any means possible.
Ah! I understand your points more clearly now, and am in agreement 😉
As you say, sincerity is key!
"It isn't in my nature to deny forgiveness or punish a wrong that has been freely and sincerely admitted.
If there is none of that, however, I will withhold my presence and completely block your ass by any means possible."
well put. totally can relate and completely agree with M on this.
If there is none of that, however, I will withhold my presence and completely block your ass by any means possible."
well put. totally can relate and completely agree with M on this.
I don't hold grudges but I can pretend you are dead very well.
I haven't talked to my BFF in almost 3 months. She was wrong. We have been BFFs for 15 years but until she apologizes I can't talk to her. I'm not even mad I'm just cool on the whole situation. She's a Virgo so she will never apologize.
It makes me sad.
I haven't talked to my BFF in almost 3 months. She was wrong. We have been BFFs for 15 years but until she apologizes I can't talk to her. I'm not even mad I'm just cool on the whole situation. She's a Virgo so she will never apologize.
It makes me sad.
Posted by SpiceNSugarPosted by Montgomery
And you're free to do that-- but the "rebound time" you speak of is when there has been no formal recognition of the wrong that has been done.
Which is why I suggested a plea for mercy-- we can be magnanimous like that (srsly).
I find it nearly impossible to hold a grudge against a friend with a truly contrite heart.
It isn't in my nature to deny forgiveness or punish a wrong that has been freely and sincerely admitted.
If there is none of that, however, I will withhold my presence and completely block your ass by any means possible.
Ah! I understand your points more clearly now, and am in agreement 😉
As you say, sincerity is key!click to expand
You're a really nice person-- I almost feel bad for disputing this with you.
Of course you could be sneering on your side of the screen, and I'd be none the wiser.
🙂
Posted by Montgomery
You're a really nice person-- I almost feel bad for disputing this with you.
Of course you could be sneering on your side of the screen, and I'd be none the wiser.
No sneering involved! Promise!
When I sneer, people know it. I don't hide it behind the screen. 😉
Momentarily off subject:
Nala, I love your new avi photo. It reminds me of one of my favorite Edward Hopper paintings
Nala, I love your new avi photo. It reminds me of one of my favorite Edward Hopper paintings
Posted by SpiceNSugarPosted by Montgomery
You're a really nice person-- I almost feel bad for disputing this with you.
Of course you could be sneering on your side of the screen, and I'd be none the wiser.
No sneering involved! Promise!
When I sneer, people know it. I don't hide it behind the screen. 😉click to expand
lol Cool. 🙂
Posted by AriesGirl74
Are you just friends.. Or more? She is probably finding the repeated silent treatment a bit much, and it also depends on what the situation is that's causing the silent treatment. It might be a big deal to you but not to her? U say she has tried many times to put itright but it appears that is not good enough for you? So she has had enough. She wants you to fix the root of the problem and not a quick fix like the symptoms. For both your sakes if you want this to work swallow your pride and meet her halfway - and tell her this. I am Aries with a Leo I know what I'm talking about. Hope this helps and good luck hon 🙂
Thanks for the reply. I tried to contact her but its useless.So I did this crazy thing and went to her work place and told her she that we need to talk..and she came out and talked to me for 3 hours. She said she is so angry and hurt that she doesnt feel anything now.
I told her what can I do. She said I don't know..I told her then who does? She said if I were u I would know what to do.
But it looks like u dont know me very well..
She is confusing me. Giving me the feeling that its over while its not...
I contacted her after and she didnt answer..
I know there is something that I should do..but if she is not answering calls or msgs how is it possible to do anything?
Posted by Nala13
I don't hold grudges but I can pretend you are dead very well.
I haven't talked to my BFF in almost 3 months. She was wrong. We have been BFFs for 15 years but until she apologizes I can't talk to her. I'm not even mad I'm just cool on the whole situation. She's a Virgo so she will never apologize.
It makes me sad.
Three months is a very long time.
What I fear the most after I do my silent treatment is the things that happened in the life of my friend that I wasnt involved in..and what scares me more is the person that could have been in my place during that time..
Silent treatment is something that we all should stop doing.
I'm sorry to say this, but you're a bit dense! Your friend wants you to acknowledge that your behavior of ignoring her was wrong! That you are sincerely sorry for the way you behaved. That you will make every effort to not behave like this again in the future.
If you don't understand this then you really don't deserve to be friends with this person.
Several Leos on this board have given you good and honest advice, but you STILL don't get it.
If you don't understand this then you really don't deserve to be friends with this person.
Several Leos on this board have given you good and honest advice, but you STILL don't get it.
Posted by azaria
I told her what can I do.
She said I don't know..
I told her then who does?
She said if I were u I would know what to do. But it looks like u dont know me very well..
She is confusing me. Giving me the feeling that its over while its not...
I contacted her after and she didnt answer..
I know there is something that I should do..
but if she is not answering calls or msgs how is it possible to do anything?
Soo
Three hours and no "I was wrong, and I'm sorry" from you?
I'm with Spice on this.
By asking her "What can I do?" -- when you know full well what to do-- it's kind of like you're antagonizing her.
Bleh.
Posted by azariaPosted by AriesGirl74
Are you just friends.. Or more? She is probably finding the repeated silent treatment a bit much, and it also depends on what the situation is that's causing the silent treatment. It might be a big deal to you but not to her? U say she has tried many times to put itright but it appears that is not good enough for you? So she has had enough. She wants you to fix the root of the problem and not a quick fix like the symptoms. For both your sakes if you want this to work swallow your pride and meet her halfway - and tell her this. I am Aries with a Leo I know what I'm talking about. Hope this helps and good luck hon 🙂
Thanks for the reply. I tried to contact her but its useless.So I did this crazy thing and went to her work place and told her she that we need to talk..and she came out and talked to me for 3 hours. She said she is so angry and hurt that she doesnt feel anything now.
I told her what can I do. She said I don't know..I told her then who does? She said if I were u I would know what to do.
But it looks like u dont know me very well..
She is confusing me. Giving me the feeling that its over while its not...
I contacted her after and she didnt answer..
I know there is something that I should do..but if she is not answering calls or msgs how is it possible to do anything?click to expand
As M and S&S have mentioned, they have given you a lot of good advice here- loyalty and communication is do important, and you must admit sincerely that what you have done/been doing is wrong. If after 3 hours of talking it's still not resolved then you have missed the point.
It's not unresolvable though. She had said to you that it will take her time to come back from this; this is an indication that all is not lost but she wants you to work your ass off for her and the friendship.
You said that she had tried to make things right many times but you kept doing it so she feels she can't do it anymore as your moods are something she cannot control so she cannot continue to let it affect her.
You also mentioned that the silent treatment was stress related but then it was also down to something she did- so which is it?
I don't think you are being a typical Aries when you are asking her what she wants you to do but it is a typical man thing! It's not her job at this situa
Got cut off
It's not her job in this situation to tell you what you should do. I don't think that is an Aries trait though but it can be a guy trait!
Tell her that you are truly sorry for hurting her and that you have had the biggest wake up call, and that you are going to get your head in a better place so that the stresses will not touch her. Tell her you will come back stronger and make the friendship even better. Then leave things, so that you can both have a break and she can process what you have said. Be a strong person here and be decisive; there is nothing more unappealing than a weak and moody guy who says "what should I do?" And something very attractive about a guy who shows his confidence and strength by saying how he will put things right. Tell her you are going to sort your head out , give you both some space .. But then tell her you are coming back to salvage this friendship.
Keep us posted ——
It's not her job in this situation to tell you what you should do. I don't think that is an Aries trait though but it can be a guy trait!
Tell her that you are truly sorry for hurting her and that you have had the biggest wake up call, and that you are going to get your head in a better place so that the stresses will not touch her. Tell her you will come back stronger and make the friendship even better. Then leave things, so that you can both have a break and she can process what you have said. Be a strong person here and be decisive; there is nothing more unappealing than a weak and moody guy who says "what should I do?" And something very attractive about a guy who shows his confidence and strength by saying how he will put things right. Tell her you are going to sort your head out , give you both some space .. But then tell her you are coming back to salvage this friendship.
Keep us posted ——
She had
You also mentioned that the silent treatment was stress related but then it was also down to something she did- so which is it?
Everything I did and she did was stress related. But ofcourse it was also a reaction to something she was doing or lets say not doing. Eveytime we try to get back like before after long conversations and assurances,I find out that she is not her; not my bff.less communication and less involvement.And because Iam an arien I burst into flames, anger, and disappointment.Then go hide behind my silence.
To her, everything was fine and going well.Thats why she gets shocked everytime iam upset.
Maybe to her it was a process that would need time. But to me it was like when we are back we are very back.
Thats why I get very disappointed and leave; thinking its either the way we were or nothing.
And I kept telling her this.
But I guess a leo does not like someone to tell them what to do and how to do it.
anyway, yesterday I sent her what u told me exactly cuz I liked the sound of it; which is that it was the biggest wake up call and I will put my head in a better place and get back stronger and make this friendship better. It was short and sweet and to the point.Her reply was " I believe what u say". That's it.
Still her responses give me confusion.
And I did nothing and said nothing after that.
What do u think should happen next?
And what does her reply indicate?
You also mentioned that the silent treatment was stress related but then it was also down to something she did- so which is it?
Everything I did and she did was stress related. But ofcourse it was also a reaction to something she was doing or lets say not doing. Eveytime we try to get back like before after long conversations and assurances,I find out that she is not her; not my bff.less communication and less involvement.And because Iam an arien I burst into flames, anger, and disappointment.Then go hide behind my silence.
To her, everything was fine and going well.Thats why she gets shocked everytime iam upset.
Maybe to her it was a process that would need time. But to me it was like when we are back we are very back.
Thats why I get very disappointed and leave; thinking its either the way we were or nothing.
And I kept telling her this.
But I guess a leo does not like someone to tell them what to do and how to do it.
anyway, yesterday I sent her what u told me exactly cuz I liked the sound of it; which is that it was the biggest wake up call and I will put my head in a better place and get back stronger and make this friendship better. It was short and sweet and to the point.Her reply was " I believe what u say". That's it.
Still her responses give me confusion.
And I did nothing and said nothing after that.
What do u think should happen next?
And what does her reply indicate?
Posted by azaria
She had
You also mentioned that the silent treatment was stress related but then it was also down to something she did- so which is it?
Everything I did and she did was stress related. But ofcourse it was also a reaction to something she was doing or lets say not doing. Eveytime we try to get back like before after long conversations and assurances,I find out that she is not her; not my bff.less communication and less involvement.And because Iam an arien I burst into flames, anger, and disappointment.Then go hide behind my silence.
To her, everything was fine and going well.Thats why she gets shocked everytime iam upset.
Maybe to her it was a process that would need time. But to me it was like when we are back we are very back.
Thats why I get very disappointed and leave; thinking its either the way we were or nothing.
And I kept telling her this.
But I guess a leo does not like someone to tell them what to do and how to do it.
anyway, yesterday I sent her what u told me exactly cuz I liked the sound of it; which is that it was the biggest wake up call and I will put my head in a better place and get back stronger and make this friendship better. It was short and sweet and to the point.Her reply was " I believe what u say". That's it.
Still her responses give me confusion.
And I did nothing and said nothing after that.
What do u think should happen next?
And what does her reply indicate?
Posted by AriesGirl74
Got cut off
It's not her job in this situation to tell you what you should do. I don't think that is an Aries trait though but it can be a guy trait!
Tell her that you are truly sorry for hurting her and that you have had the biggest wake up call, and that you are going to get your head in a better place so that the stresses will not touch her. Tell her you will come back stronger and make the friendship even better. Then leave things, so that you can both have a break and she can process what you have said. Be a strong person here and be decisive; there is nothing more unappealing than a weak and moody guy who says "what should I do?" And something very attractive about a guy who shows his confidence and strength by saying how he will put things right. Tell her you are going to sort your head out , give you both some space .. But then tell her you are coming back to salvage this friendship.
Keep us posted ——
Posted by MontgomeryPosted by azaria
I told her what can I do.
She said I don't know..
I told her then who does?
She said if I were u I would know what to do. But it looks like u dont know me very well..
She is confusing me. Giving me the feeling that its over while its not...
I contacted her after and she didnt answer..
I know there is something that I should do..
but if she is not answering calls or msgs how is it possible to do anything?
Soo
Three hours and no "I was wrong, and I'm sorry" from you?
I'm with Spice on this.
By asking her "What can I do?" -- when you know full well what to do-- it's kind of like you're antagonizing her.
Bleh.click to expand
I did apologies in a very long msg before with alot of complements about her and her friendship.
And also did say sorry in our three hours argument.
But the part that pissed me off what her telling me she feels nothing now she is like dead.
And the part that pissed her off is me being clueless and asking her what to do.
And I wont be admitting to me wrong forever am I?
I want to solve it and have my friend back.
But she did tell before that I gave such a hard time why would she give me easy answer and solution.
Posted by azariaPosted by MontgomeryPosted by azaria
I told her what can I do.
She said I don't know..
I told her then who does?
She said if I were u I would know what to do. But it looks like u dont know me very well..
She is confusing me. Giving me the feeling that its over while its not...
I contacted her after and she didnt answer..
I know there is something that I should do..
but if she is not answering calls or msgs how is it possible to do anything?
Soo
Three hours and no "I was wrong, and I'm sorry" from you?
I'm with Spice on this.
By asking her "What can I do?" -- when you know full well what to do-- it's kind of like you're antagonizing her.
Bleh.
I did apologies in a very long msg before with alot of complements about her and her friendship.
And also did say sorry in our three hours argument.
But the part that pissed me off what her telling me she feels nothing now she is like dead.
And the part that pissed her off is me being clueless and asking her what to do.
And I wont be admitting to me wrong forever am I?
I want to solve it and have my friend back.
But she did tell before that I gave such a hard time why would she give me easy answer and solution.click to expand
This is my take based on why *I* might behave that way:
IF you were, let's say, becoming frustrated-- flailing your arms about, getting angry, etc
And instead of
"I'm truly sorry-- I should never had treated you that way."
You said
"I'm SORRY! GAAAWD! What do you want me to DOOO??"
It's all in the delivery.
Maybe just back off for a little while.
Because either she's more hurt/pissed than you realize, or something is getting lost in the translation.
It sounds like there is something you're supposed to acknowledge (maybe the crux of the issue? the bigger picture?) and you aren't-- do you know what that might be?
😉
Posted by MontgomeryPosted by azariaPosted by MontgomeryPosted by azaria
I told her what can I do.
She said I don't know..
I told her then who does?
She said if I were u I would know what to do. But it looks like u dont know me very well..
She is confusing me. Giving me the feeling that its over while its not...
I contacted her after and she didnt answer..
I know there is something that I should do..
but if she is not answering calls or msgs how is it possible to do anything?
Soo
Three hours and no "I was wrong, and I'm sorry" from you?
I'm with Spice on this.
By asking her "What can I do?" -- when you know full well what to do-- it's kind of like you're antagonizing her.
Bleh.
I did apologies in a very long msg before with alot of complements about her and her friendship.
And also did say sorry in our three hours argument.
But the part that pissed me off what her telling me she feels nothing now she is like dead.
And the part that pissed her off is me being clueless and asking her what to do.
And I wont be admitting to me wrong forever am I?
I want to solve it and have my friend back.
But she did tell before that I gave such a hard time why would she give me easy answer and solution.
This is my take based on why *I* might behave that way:
IF you were, let's say, becoming frustrated-- flailing your arms about, getting angry, etc
And instead of
"I'm truly sorry-- I should never had treated you that way."
You said
"I'm SORRY! GAAAWD! What do you want me to DOOO??"
It's all in the delivery.
Maybe just back off for a little while.
Because either she's more hurt/pissed than you realize, or something is getting lost in the translation.
It sounds like there is something you're supposed to acknowledge (maybe the crux of the issue? the bigger picture?) and you aren't-- do you know what that might be?
😉
click to expand
This is taking so much brain energy!
I dont know what else she could what me to say. And I cant read minds.
I can back off and give her time but will that be considered another silence treatment?
Stay strong azaria!
Relationships are not easy and the complexities and feelings can drag a guy down; she is asking you (as most women do) to acknowledge her feelings etc and as a guy you are trying to be practical by asking what you can do - a normal situation between men and women who have a blip in their relationship.
I know what you mean about blowing your top; Aries are very hot-headed and like to see action and progress; I am just like that, and in the past I have done this out of sheer frustration but as you have found this reaction doesn't work with a Leo; it certainly doesn't work with my Leo and I end up feeling pretty silly afterwards because it doesn't bring about any real progress...
I think you have said all that you can to her now, otherwise you are both going to go round in circles bringing up the same things and getting nowhere. It will drain you both and you may find that you never get back to what you had. But you can get it back; just take a breath and keep it simple.
Her reply to you was —I believe what you say??, but you ask what this means. It means exactly that — she BELIEVES you. She believes you when you say this was a wake - up call, she believes you when you say you are going to sort your head out and see believes you when you say you are coming back to make the friendship better.
Now you have to do it! As M says, take time away from her now. I think no more contact until you actually do the things you have told her you are going to do. She will not think you are giving her the silent treatment as you have told her what you are going do to! If you come back to her saying —what more can I do?? again she will not believe you are going to go through with it.
When you said: —But the part that pissed me off was her telling me she feels nothing now she is like dead?? — don't take this personally. She is talking about her feelings as she is telling you she doesn't know what to think. She is NOT telling you that she thinks the friendship is dead or that she has no feelings FOR YOU. It is just how she feels about THE SITUATION.
...more below...
Relationships are not easy and the complexities and feelings can drag a guy down; she is asking you (as most women do) to acknowledge her feelings etc and as a guy you are trying to be practical by asking what you can do - a normal situation between men and women who have a blip in their relationship.
I know what you mean about blowing your top; Aries are very hot-headed and like to see action and progress; I am just like that, and in the past I have done this out of sheer frustration but as you have found this reaction doesn't work with a Leo; it certainly doesn't work with my Leo and I end up feeling pretty silly afterwards because it doesn't bring about any real progress...
I think you have said all that you can to her now, otherwise you are both going to go round in circles bringing up the same things and getting nowhere. It will drain you both and you may find that you never get back to what you had. But you can get it back; just take a breath and keep it simple.
Her reply to you was —I believe what you say??, but you ask what this means. It means exactly that — she BELIEVES you. She believes you when you say this was a wake - up call, she believes you when you say you are going to sort your head out and see believes you when you say you are coming back to make the friendship better.
Now you have to do it! As M says, take time away from her now. I think no more contact until you actually do the things you have told her you are going to do. She will not think you are giving her the silent treatment as you have told her what you are going do to! If you come back to her saying —what more can I do?? again she will not believe you are going to go through with it.
When you said: —But the part that pissed me off was her telling me she feels nothing now she is like dead?? — don't take this personally. She is talking about her feelings as she is telling you she doesn't know what to think. She is NOT telling you that she thinks the friendship is dead or that she has no feelings FOR YOU. It is just how she feels about THE SITUATION.
...more below...
I think your worry about her responses shows that you are — understandably — far too close to the situation and it is clouding your thinking. I was like this too with my Leo; we were on a break due to family issues but all that was going through in my head was to read into the conversations we had had, what he was saying, or not saying, overanalysing everything, did I miss something. God it was a nightmare; I was getting so stressed about it I wasn't sleeping well and I was becoming miserable and getting ratty with everyone. I had to take a step back for my own sanity and only then could I see things more simply. Most Leos I know are very simple and as fixed signs deal with things in a straightforward and simple way; us Aries can over complicate things and maybe see things that are not always there.
So... step back and concentrate on yourself for a while — I don't just mean a couple of days - this may mean a few months. Remember, she has responded by saying she BELIEVES you — this is a good sign, so just do it!
So... step back and concentrate on yourself for a while — I don't just mean a couple of days - this may mean a few months. Remember, she has responded by saying she BELIEVES you — this is a good sign, so just do it!
Posted by AriesGirl74
I think your worry about her responses shows that you are — understandably — far too close to the situation and it is clouding your thinking. I was like this too with my Leo; we were on a break due to family issues but all that was going through in my head was to read into the conversations we had had, what he was saying, or not saying, overanalysing everything, did I miss something. God it was a nightmare; I was getting so stressed about it I wasn't sleeping well and I was becoming miserable and getting ratty with everyone. I had to take a step back for my own sanity and only then could I see things more simply. Most Leos I know are very simple and as fixed signs deal with things in a straightforward and simple way; us Aries can over complicate things and maybe see things that are not always there.
So... step back and concentrate on yourself for a while — I don't just mean a couple of days - this may mean a few months. Remember, she has responded by saying she BELIEVES you — this is a good sign, so just do it!
Omg.
I do reread our previous conversations and over analyse everything.Then I dont sleep or eat and cant talk to everyone including my family. Yes we do complicate things and leos are more simpler than us.
You are so much like me. And I like ur interpretation of her sayings.
Sometimes we need someone to enlighten our clouded mind.
New updates:
Because I couldn't wait longer I text her that I miss her a lot. Then she said that we should go out sometime this week.
My dark clouded mind had only one interpretation: ( she feels sorry for you so she decided to have mercy on you )
I hate the way I think iam becoming so negative.
So what do u think?
Forgot to add:
I responded to her and said " really!
Then she just ignored . Lol
I responded to her and said " really!
Then she just ignored . Lol
Posted by AriesGirl74
Most Leos I know are very simple and as fixed signs deal with things in a straightforward and simple way; us Aries can over complicate things and maybe see things that are not always there.
Simple, yes. Simple-minded, no. Leos like what is clear. Having to read between too many lines is not our strong suit, not because Leos are dumb but because they handle things in a straightforward way as you said.
Posted by azaria
Forgot to add:
I responded to her and said " really!
Then she just ignored . Lol
lol azaria, at least you are starting to see the funny side.
However... having the last word (as us Aries like to do) will do you no good, and you really do need to try and back off for a bit now! I'm serious!
It is GREAT that she responded by saying maybe go out; that's good news and no she does not feel sorry for you; she is hopefully starting to realise you are taking things a bit more seriously. Maybe because of what you said to her she senses you are serious about backing away (for a good reason) and she is reaching out to you. But remember you have something to do - fix your issues, like you told her! And when texting, please try and keep to no contact, let her initiate as a leo. If she texts you a question, then answer it straight, but don't add another question back to her as otherwise if she chooses to ignore it you will have lost the control. Let her contact you during the "break" - don't become weak and give in, stay strong!
I'm glad you have been able to use the advice. I have learnt the hard way and I almost blew it with my leo. Once I stepped back from my situation, I realised that he never gave me one indication that he personally didn't want me anymore; it was the difficult circumstances of the situation which were imposing negatively on us both. I'm sure if you look objectively at your previous conversations your friend has not outwardly said she doesn't like you or want you anymore, or that she wants to end the friendship. She is frustrated and angry - you both are.
Aries always like to be in control; years ago I would be so self righteous and stubborn and I would NEVER apologise in a million years to anyone, but as you get older you realise that life is too short and it shows great character to admit you are in the wrong, although it may be partially in the wrong not fully! 😉 It has been a balance with my Leo; admitting I was wrong to fly off the handle and get it wrong, but not to come over as needy/clingy. Like you say when you are consumed by it it makes you feel completely miserable and you need to lift the cloud and become the happy and likeable person she fell for.
As us two Aries have seemed to have commandeered the Leo board 😄 message me if you need anything else - and keep us updated!
:-)
Posted by SpiceNSugarPosted by AriesGirl74
Most Leos I know are very simple and as fixed signs deal with things in a straightforward and simple way; us Aries can over complicate things and maybe see things that are not always there.
Simple, yes. Simple-minded, no. Leos like what is clear. Having to read between too many lines is not our strong suit, not because Leos are dumb but because they handle things in a straightforward way as you said.click to expand
No offence meant! Leos are certainly not simple minded 🙂 When I wrote it at the time I thought "mmm that might not come out right"!
No offense taken. I was just making a clarification.
Posted by AriesGirl74Posted by azaria
Forgot to add:
I responded to her and said " really!
Then she just ignored . Lolclick to expand
lol azaria, at least you are starting to see the funny side.
However... having the last word (as us Aries like to do) will do you no good, and you really do need to try and back off for a bit now! I'm serious!
It is GREAT that she responded by saying maybe go out; that's good news and no she does not feel sorry for you; she is hopefully starting to realise you are taking things a bit more seriously. Maybe because of what you said to her she senses you are serious about backing away (for a good reason) and she is reaching out to you. But remember you have something to do - fix your issues, like you told her! And when texting, please try and keep to no contact, let her initiate as a leo. If she texts you a question, then answer it straight, but don't add another question back to her as otherwise if she chooses to ignore it you will have lost the control. Let her contact you during the "break" - don't become weak and give in, stay strong!
I'm glad you have been able to use the advice. I have learnt the hard way and I almost blew it with my leo. Once I stepped back from my situation, I realised that he never gave me one indication that he personally didn't want me anymore; it was the difficult circumstances of the situation which were imposing negatively on us both. I'm sure if you look objectively at your previous conversations your friend has not outwardly said she doesn't like you or want you anymore, or that she wants to end the friendship. She is frustrated and angry - you both are.
Aries always like to be in control; years ago I would be so self righteous and stubborn and I would NEVER apologise in a million years to anyone, but as you get older you realise that life is too short and it shows great character to admit you are in the wrong, although it may be partially in the wrong not fully! 😉 It has been a balance with my Leo; admitting I was wrong to fly off the handle and get it wrong, but not to come over as needy/clingy. Like you say when you are consumed by it it makes you feel completely miserable and you need to lift the cloud and become the happy and likeable person she fell for.
As us two Aries have seemed to have commandeered the Leo board 😄 message me
Lol yes totally!
I just want to be more convinced with the " back off and take a break" thing. Because I believe the only way to revive our relationship is to resume it righy away and not wait longer for the gap to grow.The more she misses out on being involved in my life and the more I miss out on being involved in hers we will just make things worse and will need more effort again to fix it.
This is how I see it.
So could u please explain to me more about ur point of view and how u see the break and backing off now as a way of resolving the issue?
plus, u said that maybe she sensed from what I said that iam backing away for a good reason. If she sensed that then why did she suggest going out?
I feel like sitting infront of you chat all day long 😄
Posted by azaria
Lol yes totally!
I just want to be more convinced with the " back off and take a break" thing. Because I believe the only way to revive our relationship is to resume it righy away and not wait longer for the gap to grow.The more she misses out on being involved in my life and the more I miss out on being involved in hers we will just make things worse and will need more effort again to fix it.
This is how I see it.
So could u please explain to me more about ur point of view and how u see the break and backing off now as a way of resolving the issue?
plus, u said that maybe she sensed from what I said that iam backing away for a good reason. If she sensed that then why did she suggest going out?
I feel like sitting infront of you chat all day long 😄
Of course, you have a very valid point. Well, I think the taking a step back is about allowing yourself some distance from the situation and not being distracted by any misinterpretations that may happen day to day between the texting etc. It's like when people go for treatment or detox or anything like that; in order for it to be a success you must try and avoid any distractions so that you are focussed on recovery/getting better, as some things can set you back. That is an extreme example though, but that's what I mean about the backing off and taking a break thing; it's more about distance and focus that all.
However, you have obviously been close friends for a long time. In your heart of hearts you will know if you should sustain contact or not. In my situation my Leo asked me specifically for time; I didn't listen at first and he had to reiterate it so I have had to back down and do what he asked and we have no contact at all at the moment. It is very hard I won't deny that. He has told me that he will be back; I have no idea if he will or not but I have to respect his wishes and be led by him.
If your gut feeling is that you should keep contact because you know that is what is right for you both and your friendship, then feel confident in that and keep the contact going, but you should try and keep it light you know? Not heavy stuff like —I miss you?? or —I really miss you?? or —I'm still missing you??. You are then adding emotion and heat back into the mix and she may think you are trying the —quick fix?? that she spoke to you about before.
cont'd...
Remember she wants you to fix the root of the problem, and that is what you have told her you are going to do, so continue to contact by all means if it feels right, just remember she believes that you are going to make changes, so therefore you must continue to stay focused on that.
She may have suggested going out so that she can still feel —connected?? to you and the friendship and some Leo threads have mentioned that if you pull away from a leo a little bit then they come to you and it seems like this could be an example of this. It is her way of supporting you and the friendship; she wants to stay connected. You have a strong friendship and it seems like she is trying too in her own way.
Fingers crossed! Advice anytime 😄
She may have suggested going out so that she can still feel —connected?? to you and the friendship and some Leo threads have mentioned that if you pull away from a leo a little bit then they come to you and it seems like this could be an example of this. It is her way of supporting you and the friendship; she wants to stay connected. You have a strong friendship and it seems like she is trying too in her own way.
Fingers crossed! Advice anytime 😄
Posted by AriesGirl74
Remember she wants you to fix the root of the problem, and that is what you have told her you are going to do, so continue to contact by all means if it feels right, just remember she believes that you are going to make changes, so therefore you must continue to stay focused on that.
She may have suggested going out so that she can still feel —connected?? to you and the friendship and some Leo threads have mentioned that if you pull away from a leo a little bit then they come to you and it seems like this could be an example of this. It is her way of supporting you and the friendship; she wants to stay connected. You have a strong friendship and it seems like she is trying too in her own way.
Fingers crossed! Advice anytime 😄
Hey
I got what u mean about backing away.But because we have been away for quite a long time now.My feelings are telling me that if we take more time apart we will just forget about each other for good.
because my leo friend gets pissed off whenever I suggest to wait for all this to pass. she says why wait and wait for what.
yeah..but that was before her anger and backing away.
And iam sorry to hear about ur leo..
but if he said he will be back then I guess he will.
I trust leos words.
hope things get well between u two.
My updates:
not much..I didnt say anything after last time when I said " really" and she ignored. although I wanted so much to say anything but I did stay strong.
3 days later she msged hi
how are u hope everything is ok with u. and I answered back hi iam good how are u.then she said that she is fine. after I 30 mnts pause I asked " thats it?" ( impatient aries) and she said " yes , just askin"
and I told her that this is me and u, and that u can always talk to me and I can always talk to u.
then she said " what did I say? I just wanted to ask about u"
I said " ok I know but enough with the hi how are u thing" she ignored
I said ( being funny)" ok I wont bother, but tell me some details about ur life in one sentence" then she said what details?
I said anything like what u did today. she ignored
then finally answered went to work came back stayed home. I said " thank u".
thats it.
I know u might wanted me stop texting after hi how r u iam fine; but I couldn't.
The mic is urs AriesGirl74
Lol; taking centre stage here :p
I know neither of you are playing games here but can you see the pattern? You stay strong, she messages you first. You give in and text and she delays or doesn't respond. I know its hard and maintaining contact is good but don't initiate contact just for the sake of it. I have also done this before with my Leo and it brings the emotion back in! Also there are actually some mixed messages in your —text transcript??. Remember Leos keep it simple, but you appear to come across as confusing and I can Read between the lines and see she is possibly getting upset by this. Here's what I mean:
There is no point responding to a Leo??s text (especially when you are going through a blip) unless there is a question to be answered:
Her: how are u hope everything is ok with u — a question, which you answered.
You: hi iam good how are u. — good response with a question, which she then answered.
Her: she said that she is fine. after I 30 mnts pause I asked " thats it?" ( impatient aries) - She didn't expand on the text as you asked a closed question which requires a fine/not fine yes/no answer so thats why you get nothing more.
and she said " yes , just askin"
and I told her that this is me and u, and that u can always talk to me and I can always talk to u — too much, emotion coming back in from a simple —how are you?? convo
Her: then she said " what did I say? I just wanted to ask about u" — again emotion is causing an issue for her now
You: I said " ok I know but enough with the hi how are u thing" she ignored — yes she would ignore that because your response is confusing; what is wrong with her asking you that?
I said ( being funny)" ok I wont bother, but tell me some details about ur life in one sentence" then she said what details? — sometimes tone can go unnoticed in a text so whe may think you are being sarcastic in a bad way rather than seeing the funny side.
I said anything like what u did today. she ignored
then finally answered went to work came back stayed home. I said " thank u".
thats it.
Please try and take the emotion out of your texts as it quickly turns an innocent conversation into a headache. You have to stay light with open questions, and try to only respond to her initiating. Try to sound upbeat rather than criticising as it may have taken her a lot of nerve to text you.
Try —hey, great to hear from you; I'm cool and I was only thinking the other d
I know neither of you are playing games here but can you see the pattern? You stay strong, she messages you first. You give in and text and she delays or doesn't respond. I know its hard and maintaining contact is good but don't initiate contact just for the sake of it. I have also done this before with my Leo and it brings the emotion back in! Also there are actually some mixed messages in your —text transcript??. Remember Leos keep it simple, but you appear to come across as confusing and I can Read between the lines and see she is possibly getting upset by this. Here's what I mean:
There is no point responding to a Leo??s text (especially when you are going through a blip) unless there is a question to be answered:
Her: how are u hope everything is ok with u — a question, which you answered.
You: hi iam good how are u. — good response with a question, which she then answered.
Her: she said that she is fine. after I 30 mnts pause I asked " thats it?" ( impatient aries) - She didn't expand on the text as you asked a closed question which requires a fine/not fine yes/no answer so thats why you get nothing more.
and she said " yes , just askin"
and I told her that this is me and u, and that u can always talk to me and I can always talk to u — too much, emotion coming back in from a simple —how are you?? convo
Her: then she said " what did I say? I just wanted to ask about u" — again emotion is causing an issue for her now
You: I said " ok I know but enough with the hi how are u thing" she ignored — yes she would ignore that because your response is confusing; what is wrong with her asking you that?
I said ( being funny)" ok I wont bother, but tell me some details about ur life in one sentence" then she said what details? — sometimes tone can go unnoticed in a text so whe may think you are being sarcastic in a bad way rather than seeing the funny side.
I said anything like what u did today. she ignored
then finally answered went to work came back stayed home. I said " thank u".
thats it.
Please try and take the emotion out of your texts as it quickly turns an innocent conversation into a headache. You have to stay light with open questions, and try to only respond to her initiating. Try to sound upbeat rather than criticising as it may have taken her a lot of nerve to text you.
Try —hey, great to hear from you; I'm cool and I was only thinking the other d
contd
Try —hey, great to hear from you; I'm cool and I was only thinking the other day about your text about doing something together next week?? and OMIT THE QUESTION MARK!! Lol then she has something to think about without the pressure of responding to a question. Or you say —Hey! Yes all great here, been crazy busy with work/college/whatever?? again NO QUESTION BACK! The pressure is off her and she will respond.
I hope this is not too negative for you; I really want you to get this right (now im being the controlling Aries 😛
Try —hey, great to hear from you; I'm cool and I was only thinking the other day about your text about doing something together next week?? and OMIT THE QUESTION MARK!! Lol then she has something to think about without the pressure of responding to a question. Or you say —Hey! Yes all great here, been crazy busy with work/college/whatever?? again NO QUESTION BACK! The pressure is off her and she will respond.
I hope this is not too negative for you; I really want you to get this right (now im being the controlling Aries 😛
Posted by AriesGirl74
contd
Try —hey, great to hear from you; I'm cool and I was only thinking the other day about your text about doing something together next week?? and OMIT THE QUESTION MARK!! Lol then she has something to think about without the pressure of responding to a question. Or you say —Hey! Yes all great here, been crazy busy with work/college/whatever?? again NO QUESTION BACK! The pressure is off her and she will respond.
I hope this is not too negative for you; I really want you to get this right (now im being the controlling Aries 😛
lol
I dont mind u being controlling as long as we are getting good results 😉
I dont understand why adding emotions to conversations can turn out to be not in our favour!
I mean,I as an Aries ,I would be so happy and touched if there were emotions in the text for example.
You said earlier that it would be considered as a quick fix to the problem thats why it may piss her off.
But I still see it as WOW .. true emotions touches the heart no matter what..supposedly!
I dont know about leos..
I know and I agree with you; I love emotion and feelings in texts but in this particular instance the emotion (as in what you are texting, the way you are texting it, the tone it takes when someone else is reading it, and being not necessarily positive) is causing pressure not pleasure! 😉
Iam upset though..
I mean why should it be a long process!
I miss my best friend I want to share things. It hurts to know that she is going on with her life and Iam not part of it..
I talk to her and her responses are cold; and she ignores sometimes.
Ok She is upset. But if I apologies and gave her time. and tried to talk.I tried being serious, emotional and funny but nothing is working.
Backing away works with leos. ok. but how long will that process take?
I mean alot of things iam missing in her life already..
She is missing alot also!
Other friends are being involved in our lives!
I do trust my leo, but why would she not allow ppl in her life or even replace me?
these thoughts kill me every second.
I want my friend back and I feel that she is going waaay far from me.everyday.
its not that I need a quick fix, a quick fix is needed !
I mean why should it be a long process!
I miss my best friend I want to share things. It hurts to know that she is going on with her life and Iam not part of it..
I talk to her and her responses are cold; and she ignores sometimes.
Ok She is upset. But if I apologies and gave her time. and tried to talk.I tried being serious, emotional and funny but nothing is working.
Backing away works with leos. ok. but how long will that process take?
I mean alot of things iam missing in her life already..
She is missing alot also!
Other friends are being involved in our lives!
I do trust my leo, but why would she not allow ppl in her life or even replace me?
these thoughts kill me every second.
I want my friend back and I feel that she is going waaay far from me.everyday.
its not that I need a quick fix, a quick fix is needed !
Posted by AriesGirl74
I know and I agree with you; I love emotion and feelings in texts but in this particular instance the emotion (as in what you are texting, the way you are texting it, the tone it takes when someone else is reading it, and being not necessarily positive) is causing pressure not pleasure! 😉
I have alwayes being bad at texting.
A friend of mine once advised and begged me not to discuss anything important in text cuz I make things worse. lol
Iam just terrible. Its a talent.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You are getting impatient but it will do you no good. Other people don't have our time frame on things like Aries and it can just come across as pushy 😄
You are assuming you are going to be replaced- she has never said that. You have said you have tried everything; it's not working as you are trying too many different things in too short a space of time. You need to be patient! She knows you are there and she knows you are there for her 🙂
You are assuming you are going to be replaced- she has never said that. You have said you have tried everything; it's not working as you are trying too many different things in too short a space of time. You need to be patient! She knows you are there and she knows you are there for her 🙂
Posted by AriesGirl74
Don't be so hard on yourself. You are getting impatient but it will do you no good. Other people don't have our time frame on things like Aries and it can just come across as pushy 😄
You are assuming you are going to be replaced- she has never said that. You have said you have tried everything; it's not working as you are trying too many different things in too short a space of time. You need to be patient! She knows you are there and she knows you are there for her 🙂
Thanks for ur words and ur wisdom..
I am calm now..
but lets put a daily plan..for a week.something that I can stick to and see results..better than the feeling of floating on water and not knowing where to go.
what do u think?
Ur chance to be controlling. lol
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
The Leo Shadow (From the book Astrology for Lovers by Liz Green) Leo's shadow is probably one of the better known
Of course my Leo sun contributes to my fixations but I wonder if the stubbornness of the bull does this also? Taurus moo
He flat out told me he's beyond attracted to me, then later went on to tell me I'm a dream girl from his perspective. I
** Based on LostPisces post, which was based on TigerCap's original. LEO Sun & Moon Combinations — LEO S
I get along famously with Leos, both women and men. What is your experience?
First off I would like to say hi to everyone. I've been reading up on the site but never really posted anything but I'm
Hello Leos, I have a little Leo cousin who's the apple of my eye. Me and my dad raised her since she was 2..up until
Leo Your psychological nature is powerful and full of self-confidence. You are a leader whose strength and nobleness
I know that Yellow/Orange (the Sun) are known to represent Leo. But are there other colors that symbolize Leo as well
The generally sunny Leo disposition goes dark when they don't receive enough attention? True or False. Nothing make
Well, my saga is finally coming to an end. After sitting on the papers for 5 months he finally sent them back to me. My
Well Heres the thing, I have known this Leo for about 4 years but we NEVER had a serious convo until she and her partner
Just a fun little thread! What is your favourite tipple?? I'm heading overseas soon and staying with a Leo friend, so
I just love Latin. :P Anyway, that's supposed to mean The Importance of Our Crown, Ladies. That is-- our hair.
So this weekend I went to where I used to live and work. I stopped by and saw old co-workers. I didn't see my Leo. So af
> how huge, how high, how deep, how sparkly, how emotional, how delivery...do you feel? > or even not being in love (
Hey Leos. So I'm really just curious about something. If you are dealing with a personal problem would you prefer to jus
I figured there needs to be a separate thread for Leomooners! We are a bunch, I think! There are many of us on here and
How do leos show they are interested?
I read alot of problems and great suggestions and thought of sharing mine.
My 7 years friendship is on the edge.
This year has been very difficult for both of us.
We both were suffering individualy and were not able to support each other.
We both were hurt and became distant.
I use the silent treatment alot...whenever iam upset from something this friend did I go silent. Which is something that contributed the most in ruining the frienship.
my leo friend tried so many times to make things right . And told me that my attitude hurt her..
But I kept doing it.
Now my friend has backed out saying she is fed up.
I apologised and told her it was stress related .
She said she understands ..but it had to stop and now she cants do anything about it bcuz she is so angry and deeply hurt.
When I asked her if its over..she became even more angry and hurt and asked if that all I care about and that iam looking for a quick answer and solution.
Iam confused.
She is not giving me hope to work on it and and not calling it off.
She said that it took her time to become like this and it will take time to be back.
What can I do now?
how can I have my friend back?
What does she mean by "time"?
Iam an aries