My Leo broke up with me

So I have been seeing this leo for about 5 months. I feel really good about him and he was very special to me. I have only been in 1 relationship prior to seeing this leo and things did not go very well in my first relationship. So our relationship was the first real one I had. Basically, I was sort of guarding my heart. I was falling for him hard and I was scared because I never felt this way about anyone. Its a good and scary feeling, I didnt know what to do. I am a gemini. Now that I am ready to open my heart up to him, he broke up with me out of the blue! He said that we could try again after I graduate college if the feelings are still there. He also said he was selfish. He said we could still be friends. The thing about us is that we have quite of an age difference. I am 21 and he is 30. It does not bother me in anyway, but of course we are in different times of our lives.

After our break up I kind of overdid it. I called him and texted him. We hung out again as friends, but things did not go too well according to being friends, basically when we hung out we did things more then friends. So I asked him if he wanted to be with me and he said he doesn't know. He doesn't know what he wants anymore. Basically I asked for him back. He said he couldn't give me what I wanted right now. He was good to me in our relationship and did nothing to hurt me. I emailed him just to check up on him after that. He never responded since a week already. I am just wondering your input on this? I have no idea what he is feeling. I also do not know if he cares for me or would he ever get back together with me? I feel like him saying the graduation thing is just false hope for me now so I won't be so hurt. So he can slowly cut me out of his life. Being friends = sparing my feelings. I don't know what to do right now, of course I will stop contacting him, because if he wanted to talk to me he would contact me. I feel like I am doing all the work in the friend dept. I also wanted to know do you think he will change his mind. I am not completely sure why he broke up with me, but I want him to be flat out honest and truthful even if it does hurt my feelings. (I know it's long! Thanks for reading!)
Background info: He has never been in a relationship pasted 6 months. His past ex??s all left him (out of the blue also). He only ever dumped 1 girl because she was nagging him all the time. He is a typical Leo. hahah

ok i'll take shot although leo men confuse the hell out of me. i have a few LF friends and they're similar to the males but their dramatics r decidedly more feminine.

anyhoo, you said that he said wait until after graduation. with my leo-ex, he would grow cold if he felt i was concentrating too much on our relationship. he felt my interest/desire to spend more time with him meant that i wasn't focusing on my business. because he was attracted to ambition, my apparent lack thereof (to him anyway) was unattractive. conversely, when i talked about how much money i made or a new account i got, he would be a lot friskier. ultimately, for this leo, he wanted someone that matched him as far as status and finances because that builds him up and means more leather furniture. as long as i wasn't doing better than him in those arenas of course 😛

you over did it. this usually isn't a problem with leos. they feed off drama and intensity. i think it only becomes a problem when you're more needy than fiery. also, if you've been overdoing it throughout the course of the relationship, he will have taken note of that. so if you have a lot of neediness in the past, he might've grown tired.

you'd have to ask a leo but i think they typically have two basic reactions when it comes to breaking up...ignoring you forever or sporadically. in the latter case, it's like they're keeping you on the back burner for some odd rason. either for a good romp, to stroke their ego, or simply because you were a decent person and where they don't want the relationship anymore, that doesn't mean you're not a good friend. PROBLEM is, leos don't make really good friend-ex's. their opposites, aqua's do (if you can get to that point). i think with leos the perception/feeling is that you will always want them and if they get an inclination that you don't, maybe that's when they pop back into your life only to drag you back into their worship circle?

your best bet would be to move on. eventually he'll notice that you're no longer chasing him and if he still desires you or if he's just a sick bastard who likes to play games, he'll start chasing you again...or at the very least stop ignoring you long enough to confirm that you're still in love with him. don't confirm or say you're dating other people. just tell him you no longer want to be with him. at that point, if it's worth it to him, the chase is on. remember to fall occasionally but try not to get caught 😉

Hey, thanks a lot for responding! =) Another factor in the relationship is that when we were together, after 2 months he had lost his job. He has been looking for one, but hasn't had any luck. I believe now he does have one although he is still looking for a better one. He probably just needs time and space.
I graduate next summer by the way. He strictly said —I just want you to graduate.??
You said that your ex-leo would feel cold if you were —concentrating too much on our relationship?? I think I have that similar feeling, but I felt like I did not give him the attention he needed. I knew I could have given so much more, I just held back because I was falling in love with him and was basically afraid of getting hurt? (I know ridiculous) and it is too late. But yeah he probably feels the same way with your ex, as in I need to concentrate more on school/work at the moment.
Well after the break up, I might have sounded needy because I did not know how to handle it. That was probably the losing factor that made him not want me anymore, but throughout the course of the relationship I was not at all needy. He literally catered to me. Visit me at school, surprise visits when I am at home.

It is a bit hard since I am still living with the folks and I had not told my parents about him. More like surprise visits —near?? the home haha! But my brother/sister and all my cousins know about him.
I know that he is not friends with any of his ex??s. He kind of said our relationship is on —hold.?? We are not going to wait for each other or anything, but he said he never did this before.
—keeping you on the back burner?? it totally sucks to feel like you are kicked to the side and if later he decides to take me back he will..i am at a disadvantage, but overall, I think he already decided we will just be friends and the likelihood of him getting back together with me is most likely a no. So I just been down and basically trying to figure out how he is feeling.

—i think with leos the perception/feeling is that you will always want them and if they get an inclination that you don't, maybe that's when they pop back into your life only to drag you back into their worship circle—
I feel that way too, since I had already emailed him and he hasn't responded, I am deciding to play the quiet game. Maybe he will come out eventually; if not then I will know.
I am trying hard not to send him an email for him to tell me truthfully if he wants to be friends or if he was just saying

that. But I wasn't going to because I felt like I keep contacting him.
Let me know if you would like to see the email I was planning to send him.

Thanks a lot for your response! You are great! =)

girl don't send him nothin. emails have their purpose but if you've already sent him an email, then why send another?

if you must send one though, wait about 24 hours before you send it. by then, you should have removed yourself from the emotion that caused you to write. if you read the email and it sounds lucid, hold on to it for for a few more hours. read again. still want to send it? then send it.

i think sometimes when we write out our feelings, it's truly to communicate. other times, we're using email as a personal diary and some stuff, he just doesn't need/care to know.

if he's out of work, he can't focus on dating right now. some men attach their worth to their ability to earn/provide. no amount of being there for him is going to give him his sense of pride back. little things like not being able to see you when he wants or pay for dinner will only make him feel worse. so why wouldn't he want to avoid feeling this way...and yes, you can pick up the tab but that's not what it's about ya know?

the best you can do is support him in the background which is why that whole "does he want to be friends" question is negligible.

do you want to be friends? well, be his friend. right now being his friend means respecting his boundaries. if he's told you what he wants, no further clarity is needed. if he comes sniffing around again, what you do at that point is on you but right now, he told you to focus on you and that's exactly what you should do. he's obviously focusing on him.

so maybe your email should let him know that you're there for him as friend if he ever needs one? if he needs you at some point, he'll let you know. until then, focus on school and eventually, you'll get over the pain.

Yeah, you are completely right. I tend to send emails to express how I feel because sometimes I cannot get across what I want to him in person. But yeah, I should stop and let it cool off. We need to do our own thing right now and that is what's most important.
So I will skip the email. True, very true. —some men attach their worth to their ability to earn/provide. no amount of being there for him is going to give him his sense of pride back?? especially with Leos, I can tell he has a lot of pride.

I had offered to pay for his rent because he said he was going to lose the apt. of course he would not let me.
But yeah, there's nothing to really do, but just let things go their way for now.

I appreciate the clarification, I had talked with a few friends and didn't get any feedback I thought made any sense. Yours did.
I appreciate your help!

and yes, of course I would like to be his friend it is better than not having him in my life at all. =)

DON'T YOU DARE OFFER TO PAY A MAN'S BILLS!!!! don't you watch Judge Judy? 😛

i don't care if he agrees to repay, signs a contract, has it notarized, does a blood oath and pinky swears. unless you can give that money up knowing 100% that you will NEVER, EVER ask for it back, don't part with it. the rule of thumb in lending to fam, friends and beaus who will be foes, if you can't afford to give it, you can't afford to lend it.

nothing worse than trying to get money back from an ex. in addition to the pain, now you feel humiliated and taken advantage of. i've seen women flip over xboxes they bought a guy. not to say you will but, seriously, if you can't afford to give it, you can't afford to lend it....not when it's someone close to you.

ok, enough preachy preachy. i'm glad i was able to help a little. i know it's gonna be tough and there will be some very sad nights to come because he may never contact you again. i know that is a sickening feeling to even think about that but whenever you feel bad or want to talk to him, do what you did...write an email. just don't send it. save them in your inbox. a year from now, when you read them, you'll be shaking your head and it'll be a lesson the next time it happens. you will survive.

keep your head up and stay strong.

HAHAH I try not to watch Judge Judy lol

It's okay, I know I will survive, just have to take it one day at a time. I am already feeling a lot better.
Yeah knowing me, I will be writing myself a lot of letters.

But I truly believe he will eventually contact me, maybe not in 2 weeks or 5 months, or a year but one day he will. I think he is a genuinely a good person, and I feel like he knows I am also a good person to be at least friends with.

But yeah, I will keep that he might never contact me again in mind so I won't get disappointed.
Thank you very much.

i think he'll contact you too. what you need to figure out though is what you will do once he does. continuing to have sex with him isn't the answer. it's actually the worst thing you could do. at some point it will turn into a "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" situation.

point is, call his bluff. be his friend. you get what you want (without the sex) and he will learn that if he wants the sex back, he's gotta win you back.

good luck cause those leos....phew! it took me FOREVER to get over mine and you know why he stopped calling? i told him that i was going over a guys house and it was after 10pm. he said ok and didn't call back. i didn't call him either. 5 years of dysfunction was enough.

alright, i gotta catch the rest of adult swim. good luck and keep us posted.

Yeah, I will be his friend. Friend only. No benefits! I just hope I hear from him period.

I just hope that when he gets back on his feet, he will reconsider our relationship.

Wow 5 years? Alright. I shall keep you posted if anything comes up. =)

yeah, damn near close to 5....i forget. won't say it was a big waste of time as i learned a lot and we had some fun but it definitely could've/should've ended sooner.

good luck

So I have news! lol

I talked to him and he told me he wants to be with me.
The issue is, I am not sure if Leos are just like this, but he said he is very selfish.
It is difficult because I am still living at home and besides that living with grandparents/aunt. (its a bit crowded) but I do plan to move out with only my family by the end of this year). basically we have been trying to move out....and save enough money to do it...we been living like this for the past 7 years so its like a big dream of ours to finally get a new home.

Basically he said he feels like he shouldn't be restricted to see me.
He just wants me to finish school.

I told him so you rather not be with me, then be with me and at least get to see me somewhat rather than nothing. And he said I am that selfish.

But he really wants to remain friends, I told him it will be hard for me. He said its difficult for him also. He can't stop thinking about me. But I mean I'm a cross between still being his friend or just not be involved with him no more..He wants to also know if there's that chance of after graduation and getting back together.

I feel like a guy who can't stand with me through this (which is really nothing, just college, difficult living arrangements) does not deserve to be with me at all. His selfishness will make him lose me........because he feels he is "entitled to it" (see me) sounds like a such a leo!

I told him, I go through a lot to be with him. I make time to see him, I put in a lot of effort. (when i was with him I try my best to stay over, and plan trips with him.)

What do you think?