Worried my Leo brother will keep self-sabotaging his relationships...macho leo or doesn't care?

So I have a brother who I love but GD, he's stupid. He's almost 30 and just is a jack a $ $ in relationships. He started dating this really good girl a year ago, the first serious relationship he's ever had. You could tell he was seriously head over heels for her. He wanted to move in with her, he talked about their future children, how we wanted to pay off his credit card in 3 months so that he could save money for a ring. Like I said, head over heels really deeply in love, but very stupid. For example, when they had broken up before he regretted it instantly. I told him, just call her but he physically couldn't-he has serious communication issues. He was just so scared to pick up the phone but he wouldn't stop talking about her. She had called him and they got back together.

Well, they've been an and off for a while. I don't know the ins and outs but I know my brother can be a jerk so I'll just say that. I do know, however, 3 weeks ago he broke up with her during an argument and said he was tired of all this arguing and she was going to regret losing him. Fast forward a week ago (2 weeks post-breakup) he calls her and asks her if she has his spare keys-they haven't seen each other in 2 months (got sheltered in in different states), so how could she possibly have his keys? I'm 99% sure he made that up and it was an excuse to talk to her. She told him she didn't have the keys. He contacted her AGAIN the next day asking about the keys again. She said she still didn't have it. Then they started following each other on social media again later that afternoon. The next day he sent her a video of these dogs that she loves and tells her he found the keys. She responded pleasantly and said to tell us his. That was the last bit of communication. He clearly wants back in, right?

Yesterday, I walked in on him talking to our male cousins. He was recounting their argument that lead to the breakup. He said how he was rude to her and that clearly didn't go over well. Then he said, "I kind of talked to her for a little bit, but....whatever" and he shrugged, and then they all started laughing. Days ago he was just sending a video of these dogs and now he's telling our cousins "whatever"?? I don't know how men talk to other men during 'guy time'. Was this just macho talk and he still wants her back or is really over it since he said 'whatever'?I don't want him screwing up this relationship because if he does still want he's going to REALLY regret it. As I said, he tends to self-sabotage.

Posted by Scheherazade

It all sounds rather meaningless.

.......okay

Posted by Fanta

So, are you the Leo or the Leo's ex?

My brother is the Leo. He's the one who I believe keeps self-sabotaging.

Posted by Marai

It seems hes not ready to take responsibility for his life, why on earth would he take responsibility and take care of a relationship.

He shouldnt be with someone, and take this time to work on himself.

I do know she suggested counseling.

My question is though...does he want back in and he was just being macho when he told our cousins "whatever", or does he really not care? If he doesn't care, fine. But if he does and he may be sabotaging again I want to get him some help so he can break this pattern.

Posted by Fanta

Posted by Scheherazade

Do siblings actually care this much about their siblings relationships?

https://media1.giphy.com/media/11tVh1XRNAunYI/giphy.gif<div class="bqfade">click to expand

Yes, because the entire family gets sucked in. He comes crying to us every time and doesn't seem to get it. I've been in Europe teaching but came back home due to the virus. Now that I've been in quarantine with him it's made me realize he's got some serious issues. Years ago he dated this other woman and by the end of it she ended up in therapy.

Unless he asks for your advice or help don’t meddle in his personal relationships.

The best lesson taught is to learn things the hard way. Sticks with you longer

Hes still young and bored in quarantine.

Lowkey using her for attention, to kill time.

Think back to his childhood and how you were raised. He picked that behavior up somewhere.

Does he love alone? Does he have other responsibilities other than a credit card payment?

On a side note, the patrons of DXP are more cynical and irritable these days.

I've noticed on a few posts where people ask a question and get their head ripped off.