A concern

I know Sagis think everyone is needy...but really, ya'll are borderline. :/


It's a matter of grave concern for me right now.



I am really busy with school lately. & by lately, I mean since I moved to return to school in May.
Me & Libra are doing the long distance thing (4-5 hour drive separating us...could be worse though!)
God bless him for sticking by me and supporting me...but seriously

he is turning into the neediest little fucker...like literally whining to me "you never have time to talk to me," "every time I ask you what you're doing you say you're working on a project." "I am not a priority to you whatsoever, and I've always made you my number one." He literally told me I was "neglecting" him once!

What I hear: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH


What do I do ?
A part of me feels like I am neglecting him actually and I'm a selfish bitch for not making him my priority.
He does have a lot of personal stuff going on and maybe he just really needs me right now.

But another part of me feels like as much as I've stuck by him and gone through with him, he can suck it up and support me and stop his fricken crying. I have to focus on school. End of story.




I need a solution, since I don't have the best tact and he is rather sensitive lately.

A Libra thing? Not getting enough attention...start acting out or crying about it?


I never really noticed this from him before.
He has always been demanding of my time, but this is ridiculous now.


As a Sagi, if I'm not getting enough attention from him...I just go do my own thing.

In general I don't think I am needy or clingy. I do have needs and like being around the person I am with though. I know I couldn't do long distance. At least I wouldn't want to start one that way. It is different for you two though because you have been together a while. He just misses you now that he can't see you whenever he wants.

Also, focussing on school does not mean everything else in your life falls to the wayside. Your life continues while you are in college, if you ignore parts of it they may not be the same when you turn back around and look at them. Relationships take attention and work throughout their duration. If you stop paying attention and giving time to them, they die.

That said, any guy worth giving your time to will also underdtand that he isn't the only thing going on in your life. We don't expect to be your only priority, but Libras seem to need extra assurance sometimes that we are one of them. He is simply telling you he doesn't feel like he is anymore. If you are seeing it too, perhaps he is on to something. It's that story about filling the jar 'your life' with rocks and sand 'your priorities' (do you remember that one?).

If you are giving him attention he could just be being a whiny bitch, in which case you should tell him that. Don't be aggressive if you do it, but do it if it is called for. Be reassuring of where he stands in your eyes but tell him he needs to chill a bit while you are busy right now.

There's no way for us to know if you are giving him "enough" attention or not. He obviously wants more. You have to decide if you are willing/able to give more right now.

Posted by OnTheOtherHand
In general I don't think I am needy or clingy. I do have needs and like being around the person I am with though. I know I couldn't do long distance. At least I wouldn't want to start one that way. It is different for you two though because you have been together a while. He just misses you now that he can't see you whenever he wants.

Yeah, we've always spent a lot of time together, he demands it. He prefers to spend his spare time with me. *shrugs*
We were NEVER that couple that only saw each other a couple times a week. When we weren't in school, at work, or occasionally out with friends, we were together. Almost everyday. So, I understand that aspect.

Posted by OnTheOtherHand

Also, focussing on school does not mean everything else in your life falls to the wayside. Your life continues while you are in college, if you ignore parts of it they may not be the same when you turn back around and look at them. Relationships take attention and work throughout their duration. If you stop paying attention and giving time to them, they die.

I understand that too. It's just hard, because I literally have to put in on average 72+ hours on these projects. I really don't have time for much of anything.

Posted by OnTheOtherHand

That said, any guy worth giving your time to will also underdtand that he isn't the only thing going on in your life. We don't expect to be your only priority, but Libras seem to need extra assurance sometimes that we are one of them. He is simply telling you he doesn't feel like he is anymore. If you are seeing it too, perhaps he is on to something. It's that story about filling the jar 'your life' with rocks and sand 'your priorities' (do you remember that one?).

If you are giving him attention he could just be being a whiny bitch, in which case you should tell him that. Don't be aggressive if you do it, but do it if it is called for. Be reassuring of where he stands in your eyes but tell him he needs to chill a bit while you are busy right now.

There's no way for us to know if you are giving him "enough" attention or not. He obviously wants more. You have to decide if you are willing/able to give more right now.

click to expand

That's the thing....

Thanks btw, good to see you 🙂

OMG it cut off like the whole half of my post.... grr
hold on, I'll retype

(continued from "that's the thing...")
We talk several times a day! No matter what I have going on...I text/call him everyday...and respond when he texts/call me.
He acts as if though he doesn't hear from me for days/weeks...that's never the case. I have never let a day go by where he didn't hear from me.

He acts like everything is more important than him and I talk to him when I have nothing else going on. :/
He gets upset and starts acting out when I'm working on a project and it takes me a little while to respond or I politely tell him I have to finish what I'm working on and I'll call him later. He pouts like a little baby or even tries to start some shit to get my attention!

Also, he has been very real and honest with me before and admitted that although he is proud of me getting into the program, moving away, "doing big things" as he says, getting new experiences/opportunities, he is also a little scared that my life with move on without him...like I'll leave him behind.
While most people would probably respond to that like ugh! he is a clingy insecure crazy person...I actually really appreciated his honesty and openness and did what I could to reassure him in that moment.
However, part of me keeps thinking about it like maybe he also subconsciously is trying to hold me back due to that insecurity.

Yeah, he's very important to me...he has been and will always be a big part of my life. I have no plans of him not ever being a part of my life either. But I cannot and will not let that happen!

I feel like his Scorp moon makes an appearance every time he lets that insecurity take over.

I understand the fear he expressed. He won't hold you back, he's just afraid he'll get left behind. It is insecurity but everyone has some of that.

We analyze everything. We watch the circumstances of life change and think through the possible outcomes. When you move away for school, one of the possible outcomes is that you meet someone who 'steals you away' and that scares him, or just move on alone and leave him behind. Don't let him go overboard with it or it will wear you out though. Show him that this possiblility isn't one he needs to worry about and he should be okay. 'Scares' may not be the right word though... I have never been scared about someone leaving, I just didn't want them to. We also seem to live in our minds so the thoughts may creep back in on him. I have been told you need a lot of patience to be with a libra man.

Posted by OnTheOtherHand
I have been told you need a lot of patience to be with a libra man.

seriously.
it's exhausting!


Things had been going pretty smoothly before this. & first I thought the distance was good for us because it let us take a step back and appreciate at and miss one another.

I don't mind reassuring him, we all need that sometimes....but REALLY? There's only so many times I will have this conversation with him before I go into "don't care" mode and start ignoring/avoiding him. (Don't care mode is a famous Sagi move that really means we can't care, we won't allow ourselves too because it is too draining.)

He's not gonna get the reaction he's looking for and it's really gonna make him feel insecure

I tried the logical approach with him too...because he's a pretty logical person usually...I guess except when it comes to me. :/

I was like really, let's take a step back and look at the reality of this situation.
WE TALK EVERYDAY. SEVERAL TIMES A DAY. How could that possibly send the message that you don't matter and everything else is more important than you?

He's not getting it. Thickheaded...that Scorp moon.
He only hears what he wants to hear when he gets emotional like this. They say Sagis are bad like that

God I miss my libra 😢

Posted by brianafay
I tried the logical approach with him too...because he's a pretty logical person usually...I guess except when it comes to me. :/

I was like really, let's take a step back and look at the reality of this situation.
WE TALK EVERYDAY. SEVERAL TIMES A DAY. How could that possibly send the message that you don't matter and everything else is more important than you?

He's not getting it. Thickheaded...that Scorp moon.
He only hears what he wants to hear when he gets emotional like this. They say Sagis are bad like that

I'm guilty of this emotional phase in a relationship. I do that like in the middle of a great long distance relationship. I was so in love and shit that everytime i miss that person i go fucked up and think delusional scenarios. Maybe your libra has no new things to do thats why he's clinging. Be careful though because if you didn't explain to your libra clearly that you love him nothing changed its just that you're really busy or tell him like he's a pest already he would surely back out and feel hurt and just a snap of a finger find something ( or if it was me find someone ) to occupy his mind so that he would divert all his clingy energies to that new thing.

he just loves you to death and his insecurity that he's not with you plus the messed up " fuck i miss her every second of my goddamn life" are now mixed and its making him an emotional wreck.

both of you just need something to do everyday that's like a consistent . . one minute or an hour doesn't matter as long as he knows you are making an effort to fill the void the physical distance made.

I'm sure just texting him out of the blue " i love you" would make your libra back to his old "my perfect boyfriend" self again.

Posted by libra08

Posted by brianafay
I tried the logical approach with him too...because he's a pretty logical person usually...I guess except when it comes to me. :/

I was like really, let's take a step back and look at the reality of this situation.
WE TALK EVERYDAY. SEVERAL TIMES A DAY. How could that possibly send the message that you don't matter and everything else is more important than you?

He's not getting it. Thickheaded...that Scorp moon.
He only hears what he wants to hear when he gets emotional like this. They say Sagis are bad like that

I'm guilty of this emotional phase in a relationship. I do that like in the middle of a great long distance relationship. I was so in love and shit that everytime i miss that person i go fucked up and think delusional scenarios. Maybe your libra has no new things to do thats why he's clinging. Be careful though because if you didn't explain to your libra clearly that you love him nothing changed its just that you're really busy or tell him like he's a pest already he would surely back out and feel hurt and just a snap of a finger find something ( or if it was me find someone ) to occupy his mind so that he would divert all his clingy energies to that new thing.

he just loves you to death and his insecurity that he's not with you plus the messed up " fuck i miss her every second of my goddamn life" are now mixed and its making him an emotional wreck.

both of you just need something to do everyday that's like a consistent . . one minute or an hour doesn't matter as long as he knows you are making an effort to fill the void the physical distance made.

I'm sure just texting him out of the blue " i love you" would make your libra back to his old "my perfect boyfriend" self again.

click to expand

thanks, good advice 🙂
my mom said the same thing. He's military, so he's all about schedules...especially when he's not feeling secure. It's like a small child, or an animal. He needs his routine, it's comforting. So maybe I do need to pick a time everyday where I have an hour to do nothing but talk to him

He was getting upset that I never text him first in the morning...and I thought it was stupid

Then I came across this:

and it made perfect sense. 🙂