Am I losing my Libra boyfriend?

I'm literally so confused as what to do with my libra guy. He's really in a tough spot (financially) right now, caught in between boyhood and manhood. When I met him last year, he was just moving out from living with roommates and now hes back with his mom until he figures it out. He's apparently been applying for jobs but no luck. He's also an artist so that's what majority of his time and efforts go into. He's great and I know he can be someone *BIG* some day.

The problem is that things have been very rocky between us for a few months now because I felt like he was taking me for granted for the things I was helping him with and also not valuing me as his woman. So he told me he wasnt going to ask me for anything anymore (he never asked, he demanded things sometimes). He also said that I require too much attention and I'm too emotional. He hinted at taking a "pause" on things and I told him if space is what he needs then I would give it to him. He told me thank you for understanding. Since we had that talk tho, he's been texting me everyday. Sometimes I wont get a response for 12 hours (which isnt normal, we used to talk throughout the whole day). But he literally talks to me everyday and I thought he needed space? We didn't hang out this weekend which made me a little sad but I know I need to give him time to breathe. I'm just afraid of where this is all leading.

We seem to be in the power struggle phase of our relationship and I don't know how to be supportive or helpful without being annoying to him or being taken for granted again. He's also very avoidant of confrontations so it's hard for me to even communicate how I feel or even bring up the topic of our relationship and where it's going. He always makes me feel like I'm the one with the problem hence why I'm always the one who opens the discussion about things going on in our relationship. Like how can a relationship be worked on if two people don't talk about their differences or what bothers them? He just thinks things are supposed to magically be okay and they're not sometimes. Our communication is really hit-and-miss; I'll say one thing and he takes it as something totally different (highly sensitive). In fact we're both highly sensitive. I'm a capricorn and we both have aries moons. His venus is in leo so I'm wondering if it's all a pride issue.

Either way, I'm feeling helpless and I really don't want to lose him he's the greatest guy I've ever been with and I know he can pull it together. It's all a matter of when.

One thing in this life that has always confused me, is people feeling the need to hold someone beholden to them if they do something for them.

The point of someone helping someone out that may need help at times in their life, is not to be validated for helping. Not to hold it over their heads and expect something in return for it.

Yes, you can be appreciated, but if you demand more then a thank you, then you might be doing the helping for all the wrong reasons.

What kinda things did he demand from you? Need a complete picture here...

Posted by LadyNeptune
What kinda things did he demand from you? Need a complete picture here...

Mostly taking him places to eat. I'm the only one with a car so there was a time where he texted me saying he was hungry and I felt obligated to take him somewhere. There was no please, no thank you's involved. It's almost as though he got into the habit of me taking us somewhere to eat and I felt unappreciated for it.

Posted by nikkistar
One thing in this life that has always confused me, is people feeling the need to hold someone beholden to them if they do something for them.

The point of someone helping someone out that may need help at times in their life, is not to be validated for helping. Not to hold it over their heads and expect something in return for it.

Yes, you can be appreciated, but if you demand more then a thank you, then you might be doing the helping for all the wrong reasons.

I wasn't demanding more than a thank you because I never got a thank you in the first place lol. I don't do things with the expectation of him being able to do something back for me. I just want some of his time and attention. He had stopped giving me his attention and his "romance" out of the blue and it made me feel like I was being used or as though i was expected to do these things for him out of habit/entitlement

Posted by hopelesscapricorn

Posted by nikkistar
One thing in this life that has always confused me, is people feeling the need to hold someone beholden to them if they do something for them.

The point of someone helping someone out that may need help at times in their life, is not to be validated for helping. Not to hold it over their heads and expect something in return for it.

Yes, you can be appreciated, but if you demand more then a thank you, then you might be doing the helping for all the wrong reasons.

I wasn't demanding more than a thank you because I never got a thank you in the first place lol. I don't do things with the expectation of him being able to do something back for me. I just want some of his time and attention. He had stopped giving me his attention and his "romance" out of the blue and it made me feel like I was being used or as though i was expected to do these things for him out of habit/entitlement click to expand

click to expand

Those are two separate issues

The expectation comes in the form of validation for the efforts, or some other emotions that you want from him.

In this aspect, you are listing all these things you do for him, and probably think that because "look at all the great things I do for him" then he should spend more time with me. You had monetanized your gifts and help in your own self consciousness whether you want to admit it or not.

And then you go on about how everything makes YOU feel under assumptions. You know why you feel that way? Because you've been keeping scores and a tally sheet of everything nice you have done for him.

Posted by hopelesscapricorn

Posted by LadyNeptune
What kinda things did he demand from you? Need a complete picture here...

Mostly taking him places to eat. I'm the only one with a car so there was a time where he texted me saying he was hungry and I felt obligated to take him somewhere. There was no please, no thank you's involved. It's almost as though he got into the habit of me taking us somewhere to eat and I felt unappreciated for it. click to expand

click to expand

So just tell him a please and thank you will go a long way for you. After all, he was bold enough to tell you what he needs...space. Time to put on the big girl panties and do the same.

Posted by Arielle83
People resent people that do things for them. Especially if they don’t feel in control of their lives.

My thoughts exactly and that's where I get confused because as his girlfriend, am I supposed to just sit back and watch him suffer or help him in the best way I can? He actually tells me all the time he hates asking ppl for help. So yeah, I feel completely helpless

you Libra has the same placements as mine. His mars is in Libra, idk about yours? Anyway, mine and I are going through rocky patch rn too. However I'm really thinking I'm just going to dump him. We've been together a year and a half. He takes me for granted. He literally said to me today that he doesn't care about things I do to make him feel better or things I think he'll like because he didn't ask for them. And here's the catch- he will very rarely ask for anything because he says people throw things back in his face! All I want is to be with someone who makes me happy and makes an effort like I always do. If you're like me, be honest- is it really worth it to spend your life with someone who doesn't make you feel cherished, special and loved? Because it IS possible. Since I love him and I've invested so much, it is hard for me to leave. You have a Capricorn venus like me and you know once we invest, it's painful af to let go. Every relationship has its ups and downs, you just have to decide who is truly worth the struggle.

He's not the guy for you