My libra guy is still friends with his ex...what to do

Me and my libra guy are approaching a year of being together and since the end of last year, there's been a slight issue with him still being friends with his ex. Now I know that it's common for exes to be platonic after years of not dating but it's been a hard pill for me to swallow, especially since he chose not to disclose this to me in the beginning of our dating. That was strike one. I had to find out through my own investigations and one day i asked him what his relationship was with her and he hesitated at first but told me they dated a long time ago and mutually decided there was no connection and decided to be friends instead. they also share a mutual best friend and once lived together but he moved out a little before he and i started dating. however, he still goes over there to hang out.

so before i had found out they used to date, he had lied to me about going over to her house to hang with her and the mutual friend. i dont wanna go into detail about how i found out but it was no way he could lie his way out of it but he did anyway and since then, its been hard for me to trust that whole "friendship."

since we've had small talks about this issue, he has been getting better with being more open (and less sneaky) about his dealings with her. and it usually seems to be all 3 of them involved in group chats and things like that. but i've noticed lately that he's been more preoccupied in his phone and laughing with them in their chats, ignoring me and therefore paying less attention on me. i don't require tons of attention but it had been 2 weeks of us not being around each other or hardly speaking (due to work and me taking family trips) and when we finally had time to spend together again, his attention was all on them and in his phone. so am I jealous much? Uh yeah! and idk what to do about it.

so many thoughts pop into my head and he's assured me many times that he has no feelings left for her but why keep an ex around if there's not an ounce of something left between them? i'm his girlfriend and i understand he has to still get to know me as opposed to this ex-girl turned best friend of 5+ years, but i'm super jealous of their friendship (even though he covers it up with the mutual guy friend in between) and I'm just wondering if he just uses him as an excuse to be around her ya'know? I just don't know what to do and every time I bring it up, he flips it on me and makes it seem like I don't trust him or that I'm insecure etc, etc. I can't tell if I'm being manipulated or if this is how a mature relationship is supposed to be like. Ive been in so many messed up relationships where i've been manipulated that I don't know what's normal these days. Is it normal for guys in relationships to have female exes as their best friends? Is this typical of a libra male? I know his friends make him happy, so I suffer in silence but it's really eating me up inside because I'm just naturally jealous and I want to be the one and only girl/ best friend in his life. I want to earn that spot, but it doesn't seem like it's going to be happening anytime soon and idk how to regain his interest.

I'm also struggling with whether or not it's my own crazy insecure thoughts or is it my natural-born capricorn intuition kicking in telling me something is up? Hmmm..to be continued

Kick it with them. Befriend her. See first hand whether it’s a platonic vibe.

Posted by hopelesscapricorn
Me and my libra guy are approaching a year of being together and since the end of last year, there's been a slight issue with him still being friends with his ex. Now I know that it's common for exes to be platonic after years of not dating but it's been a hard pill for me to swallow, especially since he chose not to disclose this to me in the beginning of our dating. That was strike one. I had to find out through my own investigations and one day i asked him what his relationship was with her and he hesitated at first but told me they dated a long time ago and mutually decided there was no connection and decided to be friends instead. they also share a mutual best friend and once lived together but he moved out a little before he and i started dating. however, he still goes over there to hang out.

so before i had found out they used to date, he had lied to me about going over to her house to hang with her and the mutual friend. i dont wanna go into detail about how i found out but it was no way he could lie his way out of it but he did anyway and since then, its been hard for me to trust that whole "friendship."

since we've had small talks about this issue, he has been getting better with being more open (and less sneaky) about his dealings with her. and it usually seems to be all 3 of them involved in group chats and things like that. but i've noticed lately that he's been more preoccupied in his phone and laughing with them in their chats, ignoring me and therefore paying less attention on me. i don't require tons of attention but it had been 2 weeks of us not being around each other or hardly speaking (due to work and me taking family trips) and when we finally had time to spend together again, his attention was all on them and in his phone. so am I jealous much? Uh yeah! and idk what to do about it.

so many thoughts pop into my head and he's assured me many times that he has no feelings left for her but why keep an ex around if there's not an ounce of something left between them? i'm his girlfriend and i understand he has to still get to know me as opposed to this ex-girl turned best friend of 5+ years, but i'm super jealous of their friendship (even though he covers it up with the mutual guy friend in between) and I'm just wondering if he just uses him as an excuse to be around her ya'know? I just don't know what to do and every time I bring it up, he flips it on me and makes it seem like I don't trust him or that I'm insecure etc, etc. I can't tell if I'm being manipulated or if this is how a mature relationship is supposed to be like. Ive been in so many messed up relationships where i've been manipulated that I don't know what's normal these days. Is it normal for guys in relationships to have female exes as their best friends? Is this typical of a libra male? I know his friends make him happy, so I suffer in silence but it's really eating me up inside because I'm just naturally jealous and I want to be the one and only girl/ best friend in his life. I want to earn that spot, but it doesn't seem like it's going to be happening anytime soon and idk how to regain his interest.

I'm also struggling with whether or not it's my own crazy insecure thoughts or is it my natural-born capricorn intuition kicking in telling me something is up? Hmmm..to be continued

lol no, do yourself a favour and break up with him. That's my advice.

i agree with LN, join them.

and start being a person he wants to spend his time with. at the moment, it doesn't sound like you are having that much fun.

Posted by LadyNeptune
Kick it with them. Befriend her. See first hand whether it’s a platonic vibe.

THIS. Sometimes it's all in your head, sometimes your doubts are very real. The only way to know is to befriend her. By doing so, you will obviously see if she has any intentions. I had problems like this with my ex, and as soon as I got to befriend the girl, I was 100% okay.

If your boyfriend doesn't like the fact that you're getting involved in their little circle and being friends with them

Then you already got your answer that something is not right.

Soo, it's been a month since you posted this topic... any news?

I think he wouldn't be with her again, but also the trio of their has some good energy - anyone new (even a girlfriend and especially the girlfriend or boyfriend) would interrupt it. Because that is probably their "happy place" where they like who they are.

Instead of thinking about ther time, try to find your own circle of friends who would be your "happy place". Enjoy yourself. He will join you soon.

Let us know how it goes 🙂

Lmao don't listen to these guys. There is no such thing as a platonic relationship with an ex or any woman you've been romantically involved with. I can't even believe how there is actuallly a school of thought that believes otherwise.

Posted by MrMars
Lmao don't listen to these guys. There is no such thing as a platonic relationship with an ex or any woman you've been romantically involved with. I can't even believe how there is actuallly a school of thought that believes otherwise.

Yes there is

They are just friends. And if they have friends in common it is difficult to separate. You should just embrace it and join them.

You would then realize that he is telling the truth when he says that he doesn’t care about her in that way anymore.

I'm friends with my ex and when we hang we flirt like crazy but that's about it lol

I've dated three Libra males and I'm still friends with them. When they are dating other people they do not reach out to them. I'm friends with them on social media sites and they do not initiate the first move most of the time. They are so chill/ drama free when you aren't dating them lol

Do not make friends with them, go get yourself a real man

He sounds like a useless little boy to me tbh. There is far better out there. I'm sorry but its true.

I agree that they are probably only just friends. The fact that he has already had sex with her takes away any curiosity in that area so they can be platonic. I would hang out with them and befriend her as someone else said and it would be telling if he objects to this.

Don’t befriend her.

Just hang out with them and take in the vibe. Pretty easy to tell through people’s body language what they are about.

Or is that just me. Pisces super powers strike again.

Your probably either broken up or pregnant by now so it don’t matter.

I've had SEVERAL thoughts but the only question I have is, why wouldn't your man make the attempt to introduce his best friend to his girlfriend? Frankly, that's quite odd.

You're a year into this relationship and about 11 months behind nipping this ish in the bud. Hence your insecurity concerning this has grown 🤦

A man who is INVESTED will NOT sit around ignoring his love allowing her to feel this way. He will REASSURE her THROUGH ACTION. Period.