Big hearted Leo needs your help with this Libra man

Hey ya'll. I really need some help here. I have this feeling I'm being strung along. I'm 35/he's 45. That's important, bc I'm at the stage now where I don't want any more 'experiences'. I want my life partner. He said the same..but....I digress.

We have only had a 4 month relationship but it escalated WAY quick. Very romantic, introduced me to his family, gave me a key to his house, said 'God willing I'm going to marry you', I'm believing you're the one so on. He used to be hyper communicative with me, now I'm seeing a different side...

He has always been a bit self involved tbh, but I felt like he *saw* me. So it was ok. He has some issues...very anxious person, pretty severe sleep issues, I've seen him lose his temper (pretty dramatic dude). He is scarred from a divorce, but has a checkered past.

Now fast forward....the last few weeks have been just..stress. I haven't felt honored, or seen, he's been very ocd/anxious. Decided to taper off klonopin (for his sleep) which is a pretty severe detox. There's a lot going on. We went on a camping trip and it was the most stressful thing ever. I felt like he turned on me and was just mean. He didn't really seem to apologize or get it- instead very defensive. I feel like he's manipulative sometimes and can't see it. I don't roll like that. I am a straight shooter. I found him to be avoidant of healthy convos where I was trying to discuss ways I felt slighted. He feels it's an attack- although I do it from a loving calm place- then he attacks me. Seems a bit immature. Also traumatized/unhealthy conflict skills. Does not 'fight' fair.

So he flips out and breaks up with me via text. I was super calm, said nothing. Then he wanted to meet. I was very graceful to receive what he said although very heartbroken. He said he didn't feel he was ready for me, and I could do better, and he realized he was still messed up from his divorce. At this point I was still thinking this could be my person, but I respectfully said I honor that wish you the best. Then he keeps texting me things we've already said days after. I don't respond and I get this crazy audio message of him crying saying how great I am. I was concerned (he also battles depression) and called him. He seemed weirded out that I wasn't falling apart. (He just doesn't get my heart y'all). And then he's given me wishy washy I just wanted a break not a break up, but I can't court you, I wanna be friends, but I wanna date blah blah. Yesterday he called and rang once and hung up. (so weird) I called back and he said I wanted to talk to you but then since you were sick you know I figured I'd not. So he's either playing weird games or he's crazy indecisive.

Today I called him and talked with him and said I'd like to meet this weekend. (He planted this seed). Honestly, he didn't sound excited, just going through the motions. I'd say I miss you looking forward to seeing you and he wouldn't return that. Then I'm like do you miss me ? He's like yes, I mean I am making plans. But I don't feel that. He just seemed irritated. Truth is, he's hurt me a lot, and I've had to reconcile that the way he saw me and the things he promised in the beginning aren't so. He may not even be that person. Maybe it was all fake, but I have been steadfast. But when I tried to opt out he wouldn't let me go. Can someone give me their honest opinion here. I am sincere in my intentions, but I don't feel honored. I don't even feel like he wants to see me- just that he doesn't want to lose me? It's the most bizarre confusing thing I've ever dealt with. I'm not going to chase a man or convince him to be with me. That's not what I want and I don't like how insecure this is making me feel, when I was perfectly happy and peaceful before him. Bc I am emotionally linked to him, I feel like my feelings punk me- normally I wouldn't tolerate this, but I've heard all his sob stories and seen how damaged he is- and I find myself worrying more about him, meanwhile...who is taking care of me?

I am a fit, kind, attractive, baggage less 35 year old that is loyal, fun, and honest. I know I have a lot to offer someone. He also has all these identity issues, says he doesn't know who he is, doesn't like himself- sometimes doesn't even want to live. (I didn't know any of this when we first got involved mind you....)

I just need help, and I'm pretty desperate at this point. This is all giving me anxiety that I did not have before.

bin him. you start to see the real person and start dealing with the real relationship from anywhere between 6-24 months.

welcome to reality with this man.

If this is him, he is a narcissistic, emotionally jacked up, mean and manipulative deeply flawed character....

y i k e s

or he's traumatized, detoxing... neither do a solid relationship make :/

Okay, it's a Libra man, whole different animal. For some reason I was confused and thought he was a Gemini. Good luck with this one. More than likely he isn't really over his ex wife. My ex Leeb wouldn't leave me alone for 5 years after our divorce wanting to get back together. Tell him not to contact you again until he makes a firm decision as to whether he wants to be with you or not. Libra will give you the run around if you don't. This is already happening to you.

He left her but is a perpetual dweller in past hurts. Like he's livin in his past in a lot of ways. BC we are christian he says he thought he could court me but he's not ready (misled me) but doesn't want to lose me from his life. Let's also add I have a bunch of friends and he has none...so I don't wanna be used and someone to do stuff with which I feel is the case maybe? It's like he was honest and bold in saying he wasnt ready for me, but then got scared when he realized I wasn't around. It's like this man is playing games with even himself. I've never in my life seen someone so stressed and so confused. He can get himself worked up over a lawn mower. I question if he is seriously bipolar and maybe some other stuff...

I guess I'll hang with him on Saturday, be my sweet self, and if he's not attentive to me I will prepare my exit speech. What's the point is how I feel though. I've lost all hope and he needs constant reassurance. It's like he wants me to convince him and I will never jump through that hoop. I'm not attracted to someone who isn't attracted to me. Don't get me started on how insecure he is....and all the projecting....bleck. I don't like the neediness it is bringing out in me that is NOT ME. Feels like sick games.

@blackphvse

(Has she deleted?)

From someone who gave you a key to his house, introduced you to family, and was talking marriage... to break up with you via text? The disrespect.

As you say, your better than this. You can do so much better.

So don't settle for someone who is confused and unsure about what they want out of life. Nobody got time for that. Certainly not at 35.

Posted by lalalahello

He left her but is a perpetual dweller in past hurts. Like he's livin in his past in a lot of ways. BC we are christian he says he thought he could court me but he's not ready (misled me) but doesn't want to lose me from his life. Let's also add I have a bunch of friends and he has none...so I don't wanna be used and someone to do stuff with which I feel is the case maybe? It's like he was honest and bold in saying he wasnt ready for me, but then got scared when he realized I wasn't around. It's like this man is playing games with even himself. I've never in my life seen someone so stressed and so confused. He can get himself worked up over a lawn mower. I question if he is seriously bipolar and maybe some other stuff...

I guess I'll hang with him on Saturday, be my sweet self, and if he's not attentive to me I will prepare my exit speech. What's the point is how I feel though. I've lost all hope and he needs constant reassurance. It's like he wants me to convince him and I will never jump through that hoop. I'm not attracted to someone who isn't attracted to me. Don't get me started on how insecure he is....and all the projecting....bleck. I don't like the neediness it is bringing out in me that is NOT ME. Feels like sick games.

Yes he doesn't want to be alone and is using you for emotional support. He's angry because somewhere things are not turning out as he thought. I don't blame you for not wanting him getting involved with your friends if you aren't going to be together. The last thing you need is him hanging out with one of your friends (male of female) and making you uncomfortable.

He literally just called me and asked me on an impulsive trip to Florida....this guy is NUTTY

Posted by lalalahello

He literally just called me and asked me on an impulsive trip to Florida....this guy is NUTTY

"Let's also add I have a bunch of friends and he has none...so I don't wanna be used and someone to do stuff with which I feel is the case maybe?"

Listen to your instincts.