Sidestepper
@Sidestepper
19 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 12 · Topics: 3
Cancer male needs help with Libra female
Side stepper:
I am placing your post here because it's easier:
Hi everyone.
Firstly, let me start off by saying how wrong I've been... I thought that this type of stuff (horoscopes in particular) was just random, generic phrases and predictions that could be taken with a pinch of salt. Until I checked out the natal interpretation for my sign, Cancer, on www.astrology3d.com, that is. It's quite unnerving because the report pretty much sums me up in a crabshell, erm, I mean nutshell 😉 I think the report for my love interest is pretty close too.
I'm typically not forthcoming in pouring out my emotions to friends and loved ones, for fear of not getting the reactions I want, so doing it anonymously to strangers (the crab's side-stepping move) seems to be the answer, as I don't have to look you guys in the eye afterwards.
Anyway, on to the current dilemma I have:
Me...
male
Cancer
Mid 30's
Single
No kids
Her...
Female
Libra
Mid 20's
"seeing" someone
3 kids
The guy she is "seeing" is the father of her kids and they've been with eachother for a long time, but they don't live together. She says (not to me, she rarely talks about him when I'm around) he's not "the one" and wouldn't marry him, but that she won't leave him.
We've both worked at the same company for a number of years in the same department. Initally, we worked side by side and made a great team. During that time, she confronted me by asking if I was interested in her. This is the one and only time I have ever lied to her...I said no. I think she saw through my retreating as things got tense and distant and she teamed up with someone else, but the situation ultimately culminated in my cursing her out after we had a stupid verbal exchange. We avoided eachother for a while.
Later on, after getting back on talking terms, she asked if we could team up again. I readily agreed and we worked well together, with the exception that I was now constantly cautious of what I said around her. Some time later, the question was raised again and I told the truth. She said that she didn't feel the same and never would, which resulted in me going back into my shell...again, and her distancing herself...again. It got difficult working together and we agreed she should team up with someone else...again.
During this period and in the midst of her last pregnancy, a different position became available to her, one that she still maintains. We are currently on very good terms and have been for quite some time. We are in frequent daily contact and there is a lot of joking around, teasing and smiling (from both), playful slaps etc (from her).
A funny thing happened this weekend though...
We often go out for drinks as part of a group and, whilst talking etc, there is usually some form of contact, on both sides. If we're stood talking it could be a hand on a shoulder (from both), the small of the back (from me), the forearm or chest (from her). When sitting, she normally wants to sit near me and her knee will rest against mine or she may lean on me, or sometimes rest a hand on my forearm or thigh for a moment.
We all went out for dinner and she asked me to sit with her. The knee resting, leaning & hand on the thigh seemed more frequent and prolonged than usual.
I'm not a good dancer, whereas she is. We've previously (recently) danced together on the dancefloor a couple of times (she dragged me up), but I prefer to stay on the fringes and out of the spotlight. This weekend, we were on the fringes and I was stood on one side of her friend, she was stood on the other. They were both swaying, I joined in and bumped butts playfully with her friend (I have no interest in this other woman, except as a friend). She came around to dance in front of me for a couple of minutes, then went off onto the dancefloor and tried to dance with an
I am placing your post here because it's easier:
Hi everyone.
Firstly, let me start off by saying how wrong I've been... I thought that this type of stuff (horoscopes in particular) was just random, generic phrases and predictions that could be taken with a pinch of salt. Until I checked out the natal interpretation for my sign, Cancer, on www.astrology3d.com, that is. It's quite unnerving because the report pretty much sums me up in a crabshell, erm, I mean nutshell 😉 I think the report for my love interest is pretty close too.
I'm typically not forthcoming in pouring out my emotions to friends and loved ones, for fear of not getting the reactions I want, so doing it anonymously to strangers (the crab's side-stepping move) seems to be the answer, as I don't have to look you guys in the eye afterwards.
Anyway, on to the current dilemma I have:
Me...
male
Cancer
Mid 30's
Single
No kids
Her...
Female
Libra
Mid 20's
"seeing" someone
3 kids
The guy she is "seeing" is the father of her kids and they've been with eachother for a long time, but they don't live together. She says (not to me, she rarely talks about him when I'm around) he's not "the one" and wouldn't marry him, but that she won't leave him.
We've both worked at the same company for a number of years in the same department. Initally, we worked side by side and made a great team. During that time, she confronted me by asking if I was interested in her. This is the one and only time I have ever lied to her...I said no. I think she saw through my retreating as things got tense and distant and she teamed up with someone else, but the situation ultimately culminated in my cursing her out after we had a stupid verbal exchange. We avoided eachother for a while.
Later on, after getting back on talking terms, she asked if we could team up again. I readily agreed and we worked well together, with the exception that I was now constantly cautious of what I said around her. Some time later, the question was raised again and I told the truth. She said that she didn't feel the same and never would, which resulted in me going back into my shell...again, and her distancing herself...again. It got difficult working together and we agreed she should team up with someone else...again.
During this period and in the midst of her last pregnancy, a different position became available to her, one that she still maintains. We are currently on very good terms and have been for quite some time. We are in frequent daily contact and there is a lot of joking around, teasing and smiling (from both), playful slaps etc (from her).
A funny thing happened this weekend though...
We often go out for drinks as part of a group and, whilst talking etc, there is usually some form of contact, on both sides. If we're stood talking it could be a hand on a shoulder (from both), the small of the back (from me), the forearm or chest (from her). When sitting, she normally wants to sit near me and her knee will rest against mine or she may lean on me, or sometimes rest a hand on my forearm or thigh for a moment.
We all went out for dinner and she asked me to sit with her. The knee resting, leaning & hand on the thigh seemed more frequent and prolonged than usual.
I'm not a good dancer, whereas she is. We've previously (recently) danced together on the dancefloor a couple of times (she dragged me up), but I prefer to stay on the fringes and out of the spotlight. This weekend, we were on the fringes and I was stood on one side of her friend, she was stood on the other. They were both swaying, I joined in and bumped butts playfully with her friend (I have no interest in this other woman, except as a friend). She came around to dance in front of me for a couple of minutes, then went off onto the dancefloor and tried to dance with an
Well, she is seeing someone. She isn't go to leave a sure thing for something that is up in the air. Especially if she is a Libra. She was definitely flirting with you, but she is not ready to leave her children's father. If she was, she would have.
Libras collect admirers, the way old ladies collect Royal Dalton figurines. We like our admirers and like to keep them close. And we don't like it when our admirers, admire others. (as selfish as that may seem.) We often flirt with our admirers and we mean it at the time. But that is the thing, we mean it at the time.
We are quite complex. We like relationships to be our idea and we guide the other person into them. By physically flirting with you, she was giving you the green light, trying to tempt you into making a move. We like a bit of drama in our relationships, so that night would have been a good night to up the anti and perhaps brush the hair from her face and look into her eyes. We like a good seduction scene. 🙂
But when you come at us out of the blue, we may not be in the mood.
You're best bet is to wait till things happen again. Perhaps when she has her leg pushed up against hers or her hand on your thigh, brush her fingers with yours.
Just up the anti a little. Do it in a very subtle way so she is wondering if you are thinking what she is thinking. This gets her thinking about you and having sex with you. And THAT is how you seduce a libra.
For now, the moment has passed. If I were you, I would wait until something like that happens again and just run with it.
Good Luck
Libras collect admirers, the way old ladies collect Royal Dalton figurines. We like our admirers and like to keep them close. And we don't like it when our admirers, admire others. (as selfish as that may seem.) We often flirt with our admirers and we mean it at the time. But that is the thing, we mean it at the time.
We are quite complex. We like relationships to be our idea and we guide the other person into them. By physically flirting with you, she was giving you the green light, trying to tempt you into making a move. We like a bit of drama in our relationships, so that night would have been a good night to up the anti and perhaps brush the hair from her face and look into her eyes. We like a good seduction scene. 🙂
But when you come at us out of the blue, we may not be in the mood.
You're best bet is to wait till things happen again. Perhaps when she has her leg pushed up against hers or her hand on your thigh, brush her fingers with yours.
Just up the anti a little. Do it in a very subtle way so she is wondering if you are thinking what she is thinking. This gets her thinking about you and having sex with you. And THAT is how you seduce a libra.
For now, the moment has passed. If I were you, I would wait until something like that happens again and just run with it.
Good Luck
>>>>>We often flirt with our admirers and we mean it at the time. But that is the thing, we mean it at the time.
"She isn't go to leave a sure thing for something that is up in the air. Especially if she is a Libra. She was definitely flirting with you, but she is not ready to leave her children's father. If she was, she would have."
I read somewhere, that Librans tend only to move on when they have something else lined up. Is this generally true? Is she possibly looking at me as a future prospect?
"We like a bit of drama in our relationships, so that night would have been a good night to up the anti and perhaps brush the hair from her face and look into her eyes. We like a good seduction scene."
Thanks for the tip. I don't really want to over-step any potential boundaries by touching her face, but she does seem to respond to focused eye-contact quite well. When I'm talking to her, she's the only woman in the room. We were on the dancefloor at one point, with my hands on her hips & hers on my shoulders, when she suggested that I dance with a woman dancing alone behind us... Was she testing?
I declined, saying I was quite content where I was. She gave one of the widest grins I've ever seen her produce.
"You're best bet is to wait till things happen again. Perhaps when she has her leg pushed up against hers or her hand on your thigh, brush her fingers with yours.
Just up the anti a little. Do it in a very subtle way so she is wondering if you are thinking what she is thinking. This gets her thinking about you and having sex with you. And THAT is how you seduce a libra."
Wow. Thanks again. In which direction should I brush her fingers? Tip to palm, or vice-versa? Should I give as lighter touch as possible, as in tracing the outline of her fingers with the tips of mine, or gently sweep my fingers between hers, then across the back of her hand?
"For now, the moment has passed. If I were you, I would wait until something like that happens again and just run with it."
I can wait, I have loaaaaaads of patience.
"Sparrow made some good comments."
Indeed she did!
"Libra's also like a good chase! That's a BIG part of getting us hooked."
Would you say a "good chase" as in a drawn out, increasingly intensified chase?
"Try to go out in a group with her again and be the first to leave."
Did that the week previous. Monday's first question was "what happened to you?"
"Do things she will not expect. She knows you by now so try and throw a few curve balls to make things interesting. Change of routine. Not being where you normally are during breaks, etc..."
"You need to get yourself in her head. Libras are inquisitive. The more "out of character" you act, the more time she's going to spend trying to figure you out and that's EXACTLY where you want to be..."
"Don't give in to your emotions just yet. Sorry to say but play a few subtle head games until you're sure she's hooked (she will come out and tell you). Have the will-power to stay away a bit instead of making yourself so accessible."
I've built up quite a predictable routine over the last two or three weeks, where I usually chat to her near the end of my lunch-hour (we break at different times). During this period, the flirting has become a little stronger, especially on the nights out. I'd thought about breaking the routine for a few days, but haven't done so yet, due to the increased flirting. Should I just stay away for a couple of days, or slowly decrease the amount of time I spend chatting?
"Hang around with other women. We get jealous sometimes. If she sees you with another woman she's going to ask herself what she's missing. Of course, don't USE anyone for this. Just pick a friend of yours."
This is the funny thing...after she'd danced in front of me, gone on the dancefloor & then came back, I started purposely glancing around the club (I
I read somewhere, that Librans tend only to move on when they have something else lined up. Is this generally true? Is she possibly looking at me as a future prospect?
"We like a bit of drama in our relationships, so that night would have been a good night to up the anti and perhaps brush the hair from her face and look into her eyes. We like a good seduction scene."
Thanks for the tip. I don't really want to over-step any potential boundaries by touching her face, but she does seem to respond to focused eye-contact quite well. When I'm talking to her, she's the only woman in the room. We were on the dancefloor at one point, with my hands on her hips & hers on my shoulders, when she suggested that I dance with a woman dancing alone behind us... Was she testing?
I declined, saying I was quite content where I was. She gave one of the widest grins I've ever seen her produce.
"You're best bet is to wait till things happen again. Perhaps when she has her leg pushed up against hers or her hand on your thigh, brush her fingers with yours.
Just up the anti a little. Do it in a very subtle way so she is wondering if you are thinking what she is thinking. This gets her thinking about you and having sex with you. And THAT is how you seduce a libra."
Wow. Thanks again. In which direction should I brush her fingers? Tip to palm, or vice-versa? Should I give as lighter touch as possible, as in tracing the outline of her fingers with the tips of mine, or gently sweep my fingers between hers, then across the back of her hand?
"For now, the moment has passed. If I were you, I would wait until something like that happens again and just run with it."
I can wait, I have loaaaaaads of patience.
"Sparrow made some good comments."
Indeed she did!
"Libra's also like a good chase! That's a BIG part of getting us hooked."
Would you say a "good chase" as in a drawn out, increasingly intensified chase?
"Try to go out in a group with her again and be the first to leave."
Did that the week previous. Monday's first question was "what happened to you?"
"Do things she will not expect. She knows you by now so try and throw a few curve balls to make things interesting. Change of routine. Not being where you normally are during breaks, etc..."
"You need to get yourself in her head. Libras are inquisitive. The more "out of character" you act, the more time she's going to spend trying to figure you out and that's EXACTLY where you want to be..."
"Don't give in to your emotions just yet. Sorry to say but play a few subtle head games until you're sure she's hooked (she will come out and tell you). Have the will-power to stay away a bit instead of making yourself so accessible."
I've built up quite a predictable routine over the last two or three weeks, where I usually chat to her near the end of my lunch-hour (we break at different times). During this period, the flirting has become a little stronger, especially on the nights out. I'd thought about breaking the routine for a few days, but haven't done so yet, due to the increased flirting. Should I just stay away for a couple of days, or slowly decrease the amount of time I spend chatting?
"Hang around with other women. We get jealous sometimes. If she sees you with another woman she's going to ask herself what she's missing. Of course, don't USE anyone for this. Just pick a friend of yours."
This is the funny thing...after she'd danced in front of me, gone on the dancefloor & then came back, I started purposely glancing around the club (I
>>>>Wow. Thanks again. In which direction should I brush her fingers? Tip to palm, or vice-versa? Should I give as lighter touch as possible, as in tracing the outline of her fingers with the tips of mine, or gently sweep my fingers between hers, then across the back of her hand?
Yeah! What she said! lol!
Lol! Hmmm, left myself wide open there didn't I? (...must remember not to type eveything I'm thinking.)
Do you think she'd mind having the laptop in the bed though?
j/k.
Do you think she'd mind having the laptop in the bed though?
j/k.
Ummmmm, you have some Virgo in your chart don't you?
😉
Good Luck and keep us posted!
😉
Good Luck and keep us posted!
hee!
My ex was Virgo with Virgo rising. He use to bring the laptop to bed occassionally.
My ex was Virgo with Virgo rising. He use to bring the laptop to bed occassionally.
Hahahahhahha
It's been 10 days and I'm interested in what's happening.
Librat and little sparrow you know us Librian women sooo well, I didn't even realize I did half the stuff you pointed out but all of it oohhh soooo true! Doesn't look good on paper though does it?
Good luck Cancer man I wish mine was that hooked!
Librat and little sparrow you know us Librian women sooo well, I didn't even realize I did half the stuff you pointed out but all of it oohhh soooo true! Doesn't look good on paper though does it?
Good luck Cancer man I wish mine was that hooked!
Sweethearts:
No need for praise my dear, it's all done in the name of duty.
Our Blessing be upon you:
""May your hair always smell nice and radiate with expensive highlights,
May your fingernails always be ridge-free
May you always date sexy men with good taste in fine jewelry
May you have the very best of Gay male friends to help you choose your clothes
And may all of your body always be firm and supple""
Now take that and go kick some ASS
No need for praise my dear, it's all done in the name of duty.
Our Blessing be upon you:
""May your hair always smell nice and radiate with expensive highlights,
May your fingernails always be ridge-free
May you always date sexy men with good taste in fine jewelry
May you have the very best of Gay male friends to help you choose your clothes
And may all of your body always be firm and supple""
Now take that and go kick some ASS
Make him beg sweets. Make him beg.
Sidestepper, take a look at the cancer board under cancer/libra reunion and perhaps I can get some feedback. Actually Librat and little sparrow could you do the same. I'm finding it hard but as a librian I need the truth to wake me up. Cheers
>>>
I must admit, it has been a while since I've replied and I'm still 'feeling the ground' so to speak.
We had a lovely night out last Friday, plenty of banter, joking around & physical contact and we got along wonderfully, but I knew she was spending the night with him & their kids. The Commodores' "Oh no!" was playing in my head throughout the night...
I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms, pull her close and declare my feelings. But, considering the past, I don't want to spook her again. I'd rather have the relationship we currently have, than none at all.
>>>
Already had a quick look Sweetie.
I really don't know what to say to you from the first glance. Let me have another look over your situation and pick it apart with a pincer 😉
I will tell you one thing though... He will not forget his first love.
I must admit, it has been a while since I've replied and I'm still 'feeling the ground' so to speak.
We had a lovely night out last Friday, plenty of banter, joking around & physical contact and we got along wonderfully, but I knew she was spending the night with him & their kids. The Commodores' "Oh no!" was playing in my head throughout the night...
I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms, pull her close and declare my feelings. But, considering the past, I don't want to spook her again. I'd rather have the relationship we currently have, than none at all.
>>>
Already had a quick look Sweetie.
I really don't know what to say to you from the first glance. Let me have another look over your situation and pick it apart with a pincer 😉
I will tell you one thing though... He will not forget his first love.
Guess I buggered up the quotes from Sweethearts...
Silly me.
Silly me.
A quick update for those who have been kind enough to offer advice, or for those who are in a similar position.
Things came to a head this week, as I've just received a very good (double the current salary) job offer and will have to move back home (another country), should I accept. I explained about the job offer and my willingness to turn it down if she had any feelings for me. She said she loved hanging out and having the close friendship, but was not willing to move on from her current relationship...
Sooooo, I've stayed away from my shell (pretty hard to do) and have tried to keep things the way they were before I let my feelings out. So far, it's been a little strained, but nowhere near as bad as it has in the past. We've shared a few jokes etc., but the rapport is not what is was previously.
I'll be leaving around a month from now and it's unlikely that I'll be back in the same country anytime soon. I wish her the best that life can offer her, and hope that someone else in the future, who she feels something for, can give her what I was willing to give.
My time has come to move on and although she will always have a place in my thoughts, I hope there will be someone else out there willing to return the love I have to offer.
Some you win, some you lose.
'Stepper.
Things came to a head this week, as I've just received a very good (double the current salary) job offer and will have to move back home (another country), should I accept. I explained about the job offer and my willingness to turn it down if she had any feelings for me. She said she loved hanging out and having the close friendship, but was not willing to move on from her current relationship...
Sooooo, I've stayed away from my shell (pretty hard to do) and have tried to keep things the way they were before I let my feelings out. So far, it's been a little strained, but nowhere near as bad as it has in the past. We've shared a few jokes etc., but the rapport is not what is was previously.
I'll be leaving around a month from now and it's unlikely that I'll be back in the same country anytime soon. I wish her the best that life can offer her, and hope that someone else in the future, who she feels something for, can give her what I was willing to give.
My time has come to move on and although she will always have a place in my thoughts, I hope there will be someone else out there willing to return the love I have to offer.
Some you win, some you lose.
'Stepper.
Good for you on the job offer!
You will find someone to treat you as you'd like to be treated. Make a life with someone who doesn't have baggage.
Best of luck and be sure to keep us posted.
You will find someone to treat you as you'd like to be treated. Make a life with someone who doesn't have baggage.
Best of luck and be sure to keep us posted.
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http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=354148<BR> but I think it should have been posted in here for the best advice.