Confused and need urgent help

I'm going to be brief because I'm so anxious even thinking about this.

Basically me and libra girl were great, we were perfect even but she held in a lot of still that upset her (like all libras) until one day she exploded...which was two days ago on christmas eve. Reason was, I kept mentioning and bringing up this other girl who was always always just a friend to me but she claims I think she's the most perfect and amazing person, even more than girl. So libra girl is extremely insecure..right. We've been speaking for about four months with the last two months actually being romantic. We're in different countries so this is even more upsetting for me. Adding on to everything, this was three days before we were finally going to meet again.

So on the evening of christmas eve, she texts me saying she wants to end things and go back to being friends. As an Aries I really blew up, not in anger but in sadness. I've never showed her this side to me before. I told her she was the only one and etc, she sad I was sweet and everything but she's feeling really insecure and crazy and she doesn't like feeling like this at all. Since I've made her feel this way, it only makes sense to end things and protect herself.

After that, she just ignores all my messages and went cold. Our mutual friend texted her for me asking whats up and she said "I was starting to really like her but now I don't know about that."

What gives? was it really just her insecurity or maybe she was just scared I was coming back or plain scared of the whole thing? Also I'm thinking of doing a grand gesture by going to her house once I land.

xx
Merry christmas all

Maybe don't be a moron and go on and on about another female to your romantic interest. Who the hell does that?Sure, she's insecure, but you're a tard for not thinking about what you're saying to upset her.

The distance doesn't help either.

And you had a friend text her for you? HOW old are you??

Air signs are going though a bit of an insecurity type of things...

I have seen it more with aqua in general. If you want to see even more so what is being effected then you could look at her chart...

Right now Uranus is in Aries... which although is not the ruling planet it is a sister sign... and if she is air maybe she is more air then I know... such as aqua moon, rising, Uranus in Aqua... or Jupiter in Aqua or 11 maybe 12 house aqua.

I can say in general the Pluto and Uranus square is with out a doubt effecting you... just like me... as the Uranus is in Aries now... and Mars in Aqua.

That being said... I have noticed that air signs have been under stress... such as my friend with work and some money issues dealing with his company... in the end does not effect him as much but the stress of having to deal with it all has...

That being said he has with draw from most people... not me because he is a really good friend... he is the libra...

Now aqua's seem to be having financial issues and general pleasing issues with gifts or worrying about what other people are thinking... cancelled trips or plans of possible meetings as well.

If there is any strong cancer placements in yours or her charts that is also a big deal with the pluto Uranus square as well.

In the end air signs are the come and go type some times they need space but sometimes they are just testing how much you really care. It is a very Aries thing to go see her... I can say I don't think you will not ever talk to her again... With transits coming up... I would say next year after a few weeks you most likely will talk by then at lest.

Don't know if this helped good luck

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Posted by rockyroadicecream
Maybe don't be a moron and go on and on about another female to your romantic interest. Who the hell does that?Sure, she's insecure, but you're a tard for not thinking about what you're saying to upset her.

The distance doesn't help either.

And you had a friend text her for you? HOW old are you??

Seriously.

Posted by tiziani
And yeah in the future maybe just take her hint and don't mention other women. Especially if she is the only one. It will really do nothing but overcomplicate your life. That's not her insecurity, it's just rude to talk about other women pointlessly. You don't need unnecessary issues coming between you.

thanks Tiz 4 writing this, as a man

Thank you for all your advice

Having a mutual friend text her and ask her what's up can really help sometimes with someone else viewing this from another perspective.

As far as I long, her moon is in cancer and so is my mars too. But yes she's been under great stress recording an album.

We're both female btw but I speak about my friends all the time. I truly admire them so it doesn't occur to me someone would feel this way at all. An aries thing maybe being untactful and oblivious? I do see now how it would've caused insecurity though, so point taken.

So we finally spoke yesterday after I told her I've been selfish and should try to view things from her point by trying to be friends. She finally opened up after that saying its always a pattern with people liking her. They say/do the same things but ultimately end up learning her for someone better and I'll be no different. She thinks I am only interested in her because she's nice and easy to like but nothing more. Obviously this isn't true. She agreed to carry on with previous plans like going for dinner and going on with our small hotel getaway. She says we shouldn't have sex because it might lead me on and confuse her but then seems to have given in to the idea.

I know I'm threading a very dangerous line here (aries lol) but I'm not exactly taking this friend thing seriously. I don't feel like she's completely made up her mind yet and seeing me would help (I leave for the airport tomorrow) I don't get to fly to her often and she might only come over to where I am (london) in september so I feel like I have to try everything/anything


xx

Bringing a third party in is a bad idea unless you've agreed to it first (like counseling or something), don't tell a friend she's mad and have them go snooping.

So she says "just friends", you say "okay", then say you aren't taking it seriously? You're setting yourself up for trouble. She came to you and opened up. She told you her fears and concerns...and you're going to ignore them?!

She told you she doesn't feel respected, by you or others in her past. So you lead her on and try and force what you want still?

I just don't get it...

That whole "she hasn't made up her mind and seeing me will help" sounds like it's gonna backfire to me. If you go in thinking she "should" do this or that, you're gonna lose.

She's backing off because you sound more into yourself (and maybe this lady friend) than you are her.

Actually I think OP, youre the ones whose insecure here. This other gal seems very sure of what she wantsmand was nice enough to give you closure. You on the other hand cant take rejection and now want to force her to do what you want her to do.

my ex did that to me, he thought things were going great until I finally snapped and asked him nicely to not mention his ex wife, I was able to forgive and move on, but then he did it again, this time I was gone for good, even if he was saying how much of a bitch she was I didn't like it.

I don't know what it is but something about this reads as very familiar. OP, have you written about this girl before?

I have a feeling you were trying to push her into something then as well...although I could be mistaking you with someone else.

I don't care if my partner talks about his ex. I know they still see each other regularly. I'm not fussed to hear about it. Then again I feel secure enough in my relationship. If it was just new however and we were still getting to know one another, I wouldn't like him constantly saying how fantastic she is. It's insulting.

Oh yeah, and what Sid said too. What's wrong with a little respect?

You're just thinking of yourself here. She's voiced her side of things and you're going to ignore it and try to manipulate her into getting your way.

Nevermind she sounds like she shouldn't be dating. She has some serious emotional hang ups she needs to get a grip on before dating again.

Posted by eatfirst
saying its always a pattern with people liking her. They say/do the same things but ultimately end up learning her for someone better and I'll be no different.

Run.

You didn't handle this well yourself..however those words right there are typical of emotional plays. I can bet she has scorpio or cancer placements or aspects in that chart.

"You'll be no different" = PROVE YOURSELF TO WIN ME OVER.

Again, run.

Anyone who uses past insecurities and patterns to trick you into giving more to appease themselves is not worth it in the long run.

Someone who cares and is insecure would phrase it differently, ackownledging it's an issue on themselves and not a burden of proof on the other. Something along the lines of "I had instances in my life where I was taken for granted and it left me a bit weary. Let's work on this together".

"You're no different" makes me, the other party, try to prove myself to win them over. I'd run without looking back.

The other posters told you where you went wrong also in this. But this also needed to be addressed imo.