has a Libra man put me in the friend zone?

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raerae2one8
@raerae2one8
12 Years

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i met this Libra about a month ago. he began texting me frequently. Wanting to meet up. We hung out a few times. Neither of us made a move, but he was very flirtatious. One night we had sex. I am an Aries female, and usually there is no shyness, but, am very shy around him. It has been a long time since I been with a new partner, maybe that is why? But, I really can't read him. AT ALL. Since then, he is over every day, he calls/text numerous times a day. We laugh, we talk, tease each other. Getting to know each other, we flirt, but absolutely no moves!! He sleeps over, in bed with me every night. He works until 4 am, and he comes over, sleeps by me. So, I am really confused. Maybe he has put me in friend zone? But, why is he around all the time? Besides the intiamcy, it feels like we are bf/gf, a couple. Possibly, he feels that I am not interested, beings, I have made no moves on him? Really, I have no idea. I have had 2 relationships with Libra men and they were never stand-offish, at all. He is very cool guy and very charming. I also think that he talks to several girls. So, I am kind of nervous on what to do. I dont want to get attached to him, but, he is making it hard, with the amount of time we spend. He is becoming a habit. Any advise out there for this girl??
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intheair
@intheair
11 Years

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OP,

How do you share your body, personal space, and time with this man but can't share what's on your mind with him—!!!

First, start with what you want from/with Libra guy...is being in the FZ or FWB what you want? Determine if what he's giving you is satisfying for you - mentally, emotionally, and physically. What are you willing to give him?

Then have a discussion with him (personally, I think a guy that is into you would make it known. You would not be in emotional knots & doing mental gymnastics over him...unless you have some issues) about the status of your relationship.

WHATEVER you do be prepared to back your words up with your actions and believe what he says/does.
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
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Do yourself a BIG favor and bring up where he wants this to go.

TALK TO HIM.

If he starts backpedalling and going on about wanting nothing serious, you have to step away. Guys like this have no problem playing the relationship act, but don't want the title.


Btw, FRIENDS don't do this. I don't think he's friend zoned you, but he may consider you a fwb by the way he's acting.
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raerae2one8
@raerae2one8
12 Years

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^^^ I get what your sayng about sleeping with him. But it only happened once and my choice. I have beem single for long time. I got burned last relationship and dont feel like putting myself out there, but, I am only human and wanted to have a warm body beside me. lol. anyway. I didnt do it wanting a relationship or hoping it would turn into anything. So, since it happened and we havent done anything, since then, but flirt. however, just curious as to what he could be thinking by hanging around.

ALso, I am not wanting anything , I dont think. I am confused now. But it is nice having him around,.. sucks that a person has been so burnt in a relationships that I am this freaked out!!
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
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Honey, she never said that the sex would get her a relationship. I'm glad you figured that much out about dating, but she's just wondering wtf dude's deal is because he's being all relationshippy despite their hook up. It seems as if HE hasn't gotten the memo that sex =/= relationship.

...which is why I told her to confront him and see how he responds. That'll give her a better idea of what's going on in his head.

Unfortunately, Libra men are very good at acting all relationshippy and romantic even with casual encounters. It would throw anyone off and wonder if there's more going on than they're aware of.
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Lyse
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Posted by rockyroadicecream
Honey, she never said that the sex would get her a relationship. I'm glad you figured that much out about dating, but she's just wondering wtf dude's deal is because he's being all relationshippy despite their hook up. It seems as if HE hasn't gotten the memo that sex =/= relationship.

...which is why I told her to confront him and see how he responds. That'll give her a better idea of what's going on in his head.

Unfortunately, Libra men are very good at acting all relationshippy and romantic even with casual encounters. It would throw anyone off and wonder if there's more going on than they're aware of.
LOL. I've done this. Not on purpose. If they dont ask but want to take me out then I dont tell. But if they ask i tell the truth on whether i see myself with them or not. Sometimes if they start acting too clingy or coming on too strong, or being possesive or jealous i let them know what the deal is. But i agree, with Libra's you MUST ask. NEVER assume. I pretty much think that goes for anybody no matter the sign, but double for Leebs because we flirt with everyone! Sometimes intentionally, other times our kindness gets taken out of context. You gotta open your mouth.
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Lyse
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Of course in your case, his kindness has went wayyyy beyond the radar. lol.
If you dont want a relationship though, then why does it matter how intimate he is with you or how he reacts on emotional level? Why does it matter if your in the "friendzone" if you dont know what you want, or dont think you want a relationship? If you dont know what you want i suggest you continue going with the flow because if you go to a man not knowing what you want, but asking him what he wants he's going to think your nuts.
Figure out what you want first, then confront him.
But PLEASE, make it up in your mind that your only going to have this convo with him ONE time. You start doing it too much and you sound like a broken record. Let him know once and for all what you want and what you expect, if he doesn't deliver then YOU friendzone HIM.
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
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Yes, but she should still ask because if SHE doesn't want a relationship and she's not sure exactly where he stands due to his iffy behavior, because it could also clear the air for him as well. She would then be just as bad as the Libra bs that we're warning her about.

Overall, it needs to be addressed so proper boundaries can be set regardless of interest or intent.It'll benefit both parties in the long run.
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Lyse
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Posted by busyeyes88
Posted by Lyse
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Honey, she never said that the sex would get her a relationship. I'm glad you figured that much out about dating, but she's just wondering wtf dude's deal is because he's being all relationshippy despite their hook up. It seems as if HE hasn't gotten the memo that sex =/= relationship.

...which is why I told her to confront him and see how he responds. That'll give her a better idea of what's going on in his head.

Unfortunately, Libra men are very good at acting all relationshippy and romantic even with casual encounters. It would throw anyone off and wonder if there's more going on than they're aware of.
LOL. I've done this. Not on purpose. If they dont ask but want to take me out then I dont tell. But if they ask i tell the truth on whether i see myself with them or not. Sometimes if they start acting too clingy or coming on too strong, or being possesive or jealous i let them know what the deal is. But i agree, with Libra's you MUST ask. NEVER assume. I pretty much think that goes for anybody no matter the sign, but double for Leebs because we flirt with everyone! Sometimes intentionally, other times our kindness gets taken out of context. You gotta open your mouth.
" If they dont ask but want to take me out then I dont tell."

Libras don't seem to be very honest? Why? You guys seem to like a lot of attention, come across as fake even and play games?! Its seems to be the impression I'm getting. Quite superficial!

click to expand

Sorry you feel that way, but if i'm just casually dating and a guy wants to take me out and i suspect him to be a respectable i'm going to go out and have a good time regardless of whether i see myself with him or not. Now if he asks me if i can see myself in a relationship i will tell him an honest answer, and it'll be up to him on whether he still wants to hang out as friends. If he doesn't ask me about feelings or relationships, but i suspect he's assuming and just haven't addressed and i know my feelings aren't mutual i'll either back off completly or start turning down dates. Simply BECAUSE i dont want to keep going out with a guy havi
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Lyse
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having feelings for me, and i know mines aren't mutual. I dont think it's wrong to tell a guy what the deal is, and leave up to him on whether he wants to stick around anyway. An Aries did it to me, and quite frankly i dont exactly blame him. It was my choice to stick around when he said he didn't want a relationship, however the DIFFERENCE is he made it seem as though a relationship with me and him was DEFINITELY in the future or plans but after he got himself together first (job,car, house-all the things i had that he didn't)Then when he got on his feet i was not the girl he chose. I felt tricked and dooped. If he didn't want it WITH ME he just should've said i dont see you in that way. If i want a relationship but not with a specific person, i'll say I just dont like you like that. I see us a very good friends.
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Lyse
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Posted by rockyroadicecream
Yes, but she should still ask because if SHE doesn't want a relationship and she's not sure exactly where he stands due to his iffy behavior, because it could also clear the air for him as well. She would then be just as bad as the Libra bs that we're warning her about.

Overall, it needs to be addressed so proper boundaries can be set regardless of interest or intent.It'll benefit both parties in the long run.
I agree to a certain point.

The trouble i'm having is, she is not saying he's treating her like he wants a relationship, the title of her thread is "did he friendzone me" if a Libra is acting like they want a relationship, the last thing you'll be thinking is "did he friendzone me?" Thats why i'm like if you dont want him as your man which is the alternative of friends, then why bother caring if he "friendzoned" you unless you want something more??
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raerae2one8
@raerae2one8
12 Years

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a lot of great advise!! Ok, little more info. he works until 4 am. he gets off work and he comes to my house and sleeps by me. like i said, since our "hook up" there has been nothing more, just flirting. so, its not like we are cuddled up. It is so werid. and I think I am beginning to like him, as more. He is growing on me. And a big part of me wants to be more with him. But, i am confused by how he acts. Maybe he is confused by me? ugh... lol...

I never said I wasn't dysfunctional.. specially when it comes to matters of the heart.

And I am just saying, about needing a warrm body.. yeah, maybe I shouldnt have had sex with him, but, damn... i am a grown woman and at the time, having sex with someone which, I felt had no strings attachs was better that getting in someting emotional. Maybe not everyone aggrees, but, I am sure there are a lot that do.
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
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Posted by Lyse
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Yes, but she should still ask because if SHE doesn't want a relationship and she's not sure exactly where he stands due to his iffy behavior, because it could also clear the air for him as well. She would then be just as bad as the Libra bs that we're warning her about.

Overall, it needs to be addressed so proper boundaries can be set regardless of interest or intent.It'll benefit both parties in the long run.
I agree to a certain point.

The trouble i'm having is, she is not saying he's treating her like he wants a relationship, the title of her thread is "did he friendzone me" if a Libra is acting like they want a relationship, the last thing you'll be thinking is "did he friendzone me?" Thats why i'm like if you dont want him as your man which is the alternative of friends, then why bother caring if he "friendzoned" you unless you want something more??
click to expand

Did you miss the part where she's just wondering wtf is up because it went from hooking up once to all this cuddly, non sexual stuff?

Yeah, Aries like sex. If we have sex with someone once and continue to see them, we're going to consider that we'll be having sex with them more. Dude just isn't doing it, but being all cuddly and the like and it's left her wondering wtf.
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
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Posted by busyeyes88
Posted by raerae2one8
lol.. right,,, i better say something to him.
People really need to be exact and aware of what they want.... I just understand why I am the only single woman around here who seems to be so "straight ".... You females are making me look bad.
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You're not alone, m'dear. It's like standing in the middle of a bunch of chaos and wondering why you're one of the few not wrapped up in the crazy.
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raerae2one8
@raerae2one8
12 Years

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Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by Lyse
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Yes, but she should still ask because if SHE doesn't want a relationship and she's not sure exactly where he stands due to his iffy behavior, because it could also clear the air for him as well. She would then be just as bad as the Libra bs that we're warning her about.

Overall, it needs to be addressed so proper boundaries can be set regardless of interest or intent.It'll benefit both parties in the long run.
I agree to a certain point.

The trouble i'm having is, she is not saying he's treating her like he wants a relationship, the title of her thread is "did he friendzone me" if a Libra is acting like they want a relationship, the last thing you'll be thinking is "did he friendzone me?" Thats why i'm like if you dont want him as your man which is the alternative of friends, then why bother caring if he "friendzoned" you unless you want something more??
Did you miss the part where she's just wondering wtf is up because it went from hooking up once to all this cuddly, non sexual stuff?

Yeah, Aries like sex. If we have sex with someone once and continue to see them, we're going to consider that we'll be having sex with them more. Dude just isn't doing it, but being all cuddly and the like and it's left her wondering wtf.
click to expand

exactly

Did you miss the part where she's just wondering wtf is up because it went from hooking up once to all this cuddly, non sexual stuff?

Yeah, Aries like sex. If we have sex with someone once and continue to see them, we're going to consider that we'll be having sex with them more. Dude just isn't doing it, but being all cuddly and the like and it's left her wondering wtf.

Hit the nail on the head there!!


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raerae2one8
@raerae2one8
12 Years

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Posted by Lust
Same here.
What do you want exactly? Sex or love or both? Then tell him what you want. And..NO, .busy is not the only woman who is straight..many of us here in dxp are straight like busy but I agree that we are in minority. Anyway back to your need, I understand that you come on here needing advise, however this an open forum. People will give you honest input or sugar coat bs input. ..so keep your ego in check and enjoy the complimentary advise..
I was only reflecting exactly what she had said. No ego here!
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raerae2one8
@raerae2one8
12 Years

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Posted by busyeyes88
Posted by libraqueen
^sorry about that. klutzy fingers

but your update doesn't change how I see things, my best guy friend is a libra and based on him yes you're friendzoned. rule of thumb is if you have to ask if you guys are exclusive or not, chances are you're not. I don't understand do fwb not cuddle? why would cuddling mean anything different? it's just cuddling and fwb doesn't mean penetration and that's it..sorry for the gruesome visual but with sex there's going to be some connection. ?? I mean am I wrong? just because he enjoys your attention and company it doesn't really mean much..I feel like you came here in hopes of us saying NO he didn't friendzone you. I'm also kinda baffled that you guys can share such intimacy but you can't event ask what are u guys exactly.. lol

but hey what do I know right? I could be wrong xx
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If they are having sex the aries would not have made this tread!! But they has sex once and the libra has reduced it to 'cuddling'!!! I am now wondering if the sex was so bad that it put him off and being a weak coward he is too afraid to tell the OP?
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
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Posted by busyeyes88
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by busyeyes88
Posted by raerae2one8
lol.. right,,, i better say something to him.
People really need to be exact and aware of what they want.... I just understand why I am the only single woman around here who seems to be so "straight ".... You females are making me look bad.
You're not alone, m'dear. It's like standing in the middle of a bunch of chaos and wondering why you're one of the few not wrapped up in the crazy.
Lololololollolololololol

No wonder I'm single so long.... I need to be 'wrapped up in the crazy'!! Lol
click to expand

Nah, if you stay the way you are, chances of you finding a real, decent man are higher haha.

I'm surrounded by chicks at work who are into the cookie cutter mindset of relationship = life. All about marriage and babies. Most have minimal education, don't aim very high in life, and are getting married when their relationships are so dysfunctional it makes one wonder why the fuck they got married to begin with. One chick just got married like 4 months ago and she's already bitching and talking about divorce.

...I'm find being in the minority and just doing me. Life's difficult enough, you know? Why bring all that nonsense along with it?
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rockyroadicecream
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Posted by busyeyes88
But I don't think it's to do with a sign sun.

If i started off having sex with a guy even if it was only once i would expect sex every time I saw him and I think most woman would feel this way. And if it got reduced to just cuddles, unlike the OP, i would have asked the libra directly like wtf is wrong with him and if he is not here to finish off what he started he better stop occupying the space in my bed as that is for My hot water bottle!!!!
"Must lose pants to enter the bedroom. No pants or gtfo."
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raerae2one8
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12 Years

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well, kinda. I mean he just confuses me, I sent him a text message and told him, i kinda like him and like to spend time wiht him and basically that I want to do more with him. He replied in a text with a bunch of hand signs that indicate sex. OMG!! This guy is getting friendzoned by me! I think he is very imature and I think the honest truth is that he represented a challange and is not really worth my time! Geez!!
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rockyroadicecream
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Posted by libraqueen
Posted by raerae2one8
well, kinda. I mean he just confuses me, I sent him a text message and told him, i kinda like him and like to spend time wiht him and basically that I want to do more with him. He replied in a text with a bunch of hand signs that indicate sex. OMG!! This guy is getting friendzoned by me! I think he is very imature and I think the honest truth is that he represented a challange and is not really worth my time! Geez!!
See? Told ya. btw Libras are players but they seem so innocent and naive and even sometimes dumb, but we read people well. We just pretend we don't know what's going on. This dude knew what he was doing. Playing head games so when u confessed ur feelings he probably had an evil grin on his face and maybe even laughed. but you're right! You deserve so much better.
click to expand

This amuses me when Libras admit to all the garbage that people bitch about the most often here, which is denied by other Libras.

You guys LOVE playing dumb as a defense. Absolutely amazing haha.
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gemguyaz34
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Posted by libraqueen
Posted by gemguyaz34
Posted by libraqueen
rockyroad ice cream..I can't figure out whether her name is a metaphor to her life or not. she feeds off of misery and negativity. · gross
shhh..shhh...it's always the Libra...ALWAYS. The Libra did it, it doesn't take two! Nothing else to see or consider, move on. lol
Whoever burned her must have been a Libra, but i see why she was burned. She has a terrible personality. ‚
click to expand

Doesn't matter, still the Libra's fault..
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rockyroadicecream
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Posted by backtokemet
well libraqueen is merely speaking for herself and the LIBRAs she knows on a personal level
I understand. But as many here who have noticed, x, y, and z with Libras as an issue, it's been heavily denied by many here who have proven, more often than not, that they choose to live in an alternate reality than what most people do. I know it's not ALL Libras, but it amuses me, that this far down the road from when those discussions were had, we've had newer Libras come along and go "yep, that's how we roll," where before, it was "NUH UH."

Just an amusing observation is all.