I'm a cancer, and she's a libra...

so, it's not a secret that crab and scale need to work hard for a relationship, but I fall for this libra girl, n I know she fall for me too. it's been approx 2 months since we started texting.
we move at slow pace at first, very slow, but consistent. until one month ago she speed up the pace, when she suddenly said to me that she love me. she open up herself, she start to tell me some stories that she never told anyone before (even her ex that she said she love very much at the time they were together), she said she trust me very much, and I can make her feel very comfortable like no one ever did before. and after she speed up the pace, I am trying to follow her pace, then we started to exchange the I love u's everyday

and the about a week ago, we had a big debate, she didn't replied my text for almost 1 day. and then after she finally replied, she told me that she's not ready for a new (another) relationship, and she asked me not to cut off the communication, but she asked me to communicate 'without feelings'. at first it was hard for me, and I said to her that maybe I cannot do that, maybe it's better for me to go away, to ease her. but after that, I tried to follow her request, I tried to understand what she want. and now we still communicate in a very casual way, just like the first time we text, and she always replied my text just like the first time.

after her last relationship, maybe 2-3 years ago, she told herself that she didn't want fall in love again for a long time, she promised herself. but then I come in, and she started to ignore her own 'rule', consciously. she started to open up her heart for me, hit the gas, full speed ahead, and then suddenly she pull the emergency brake. that time, she told me that she didn't really know what she wants, she didn't really know whether she's afraid or just indecisive, and then she decided to follow her 'rule' again. I know she's sad, I know she feel guilty, she sad because she knows she breaks my heart, she said that herself. she told me that I am one of a kind, she never met someone that can make her comfortable like me. and she actually like me since 2 years ago, but we didn't really know each other until 2 months ago, she said that she admired from afar since 2 years ago.

what should I do? for now, I tried to follow her pace, trying to be very casual with her just like what she asked for, we still texting right now, but back to square 1. and I really wanna know if she's still move on the same direction but with a slower pace? or she's planning to go to another direction and try to forget me completely.

btw, english isn't really my native language, pardon me for my grammar 🙂

Poor thing. You got stuck in the "typical" Libran cycle.

She's either going to slow down to a pace she's more comfortable with, or she's going to jerk you around for awhile.

I honestly think it could be the latter if you're not careful. It's not unusual for Librans to RUSH in and then suddenly back off. They're all for it because omgz love and romance makes their nether bits tingle, but then reality sets in and omg what if you aren't THE one— Biggest mistake evar! Omg I must slow down!!

This always leaves the other party confused and wondering what the hell just happened.

So for your poor watery placement's sake, don't consider her more than a romantic interest for the time being. She wants to go slow? Fine. You friend zone her in your mind to help protect YOU, because there's a chance she'll get all fickle and stupid and leave you high and dry after stringing you along.

And if for some reason she decides she's okay to pursue a romantic relationship with you, then yay for you.

But for now, you take what she said with all seriousness- for your sake. Why? Because I have a feeling she's going to flip flop all over the place while she "decides" and it's just going to confuse you. She wants it back to square one? Treat it as such.

well, that debate i mentioned earlier, she said that I 'push' her. I really wanna meet her, and give somekind of surprise, because she told me that she's really wanna meet me too. we live in a different area, about 4-5 hour drive. so I decided to keep going at that time, trying to catch up with her, but actually she can't meet me. I said that's okay, don't feel guilty about that, I am really okay if she really can't.

I still go to her town...and she think I 'force' her with my decision...

after she didn't reply my text, she said that the guilt is not on me...it's on her, she upset with herself because she didn't know what she really want...I said, that's okay, don't feel bad about herself, because I am really really fine...never intended to put the guilt on her...

and then, just like I said...she decided to keep her 'promise', and asked me to keep in touch...

thanks for the advice btw 🙂

Would need full chart to help you...lol sun sign...yeah right

what did u mean by 'run'? should I give her more space? or completely run and forget about her?

she told me why she feel I rushed the decision, she said it clearly. she just unsure about what she wants right now

Posted by caster721

Posted by tiziani
Let's face it women say a lot of things. Just move at your own pace man.

Women think they know what they want, they just have an idea of it. Quote by David DeAngelo

click to expand

GIRLS. Girls think this way, not women.

Same can be said for a lot of boys (not men). Look around this site for example- tons o guys jerking women around either on purpose or because they have no idea what they want other than to get laid and have someone around at their own emotional convenience.

There are women who behave this way as well. Neither should be entertained in dating, really. It all boils down to immature people who should be taking time to get to know themselves so they know with certainty of what they want.

Dude, this is online and not something you've done irl?

Pfft, move along. This chick is going to jerk you around. The fact that she's being so wishy washy says a lot.

And seriously, saying "I love you" when you haven't met yet? You're some emotional fantasy to her via virtual communication. When shit got real, she started backpedaling because it's no longer a fantasy on a screen that will stay on the screen.

Hell, she might be catfishing you for all you know. Go find someone who's actually available, dude. Your Cancer emotions are going to get dragged through the mud with this one. Like SF said, she doesn't sound interested in you romantically anymore.

oops sorry didn't mentioned it earlier, we've met before, let's just say, we worked on the same job area, I was (kind of) the leader, but we never interact exclusively, pure professional thing. since that time she admired me just like I mentioned earlier. so it's not like only-virtual thingy, or some kind of online dating. we've already met, interact, but in a professional manner.

when I said I wanna make somekind of surprise visit, I mean somekind of personal meeting between me and her, not in a professional condition like we used to be.

thanks for helping me to see things more clearly btw 😄

Posted by utopian
Harden up son

wow, thanks! you guys are right

Posted by utopian
Yeah agreed. Don't let a woman push you around this way. Take the reins and do it your way, not hers.

Harden up son

+1. Take responsibility for your heart, time, emotions. This GIRL clearly doesn't take you seriously. Take your heart somewhere it will be appreciated.

to me this sounds like she (and you) got caught up in the excitement of a fresh romance. like rocky said, it's so easy for us sometimes to get carried away with the possibilities of what could be and then for it to come crashing down when you really sit and think about it. the pendulum swings the other way and you begin to panic when you realise you're having second thoughts.

pushing her into meeting or turning up at her town just makes that dreaded "oh shit" feeling all the more intense.

take a step back, be friends, don't exert any pressure and if there is something there, once she regains her equilibrium she will hopefully make her way back. pushing her is only going to send her running and confirm to her that she moved too fast, too soon. and if she feels that way, often the best solution is to jump off that runaway train asap.

i also wouldn't give much value in her saying that she wants to meet you too. sometimes things are counter said because that is the polite and expected answer. it's not always the truth.