In a lot of pain over libra guy

Perfect in the beginning and been together for 6 months been arguing for the last two months. He started the relationship lying about things but got through it.

I never once doubted his love for me and despite the earlier lies he was the best and loving bf I had. I tried to be very understanding to all his baggage and it was hard but it gotten to be too much. I'm a Leo girl and I do need attention but I am not selfish. The last two months have been arguments and on and off break ups.

We are both tired of that but I still love him a lot but my trust is gone but I desperately want to trust him. It's hard to walk away and I'm a fighter. We broke up a week ago and he broke up with me and said its not going to work. But let's be friends.

I called him today and told him its hard to move on past you and he seemed cold but said.....yes it is. But you can't get past me lying so I feel friends are better. My heart was crushed and I just quickly got off the phone. I've been crying all day. I feel so lost but I respect his decision but Its hard hearing him being so cold towards me like I never meant anything to him. Can this be it forever or should I give it more time?

It seems to me he's being honset with you, maybe he fucked up in the beginning by lying but if you can't trust him and he realized this , then you're relationsip is toast. Never ive up tough , he might miss you after some time and ive it another shot , but the fighting is a big problem. Us Libras don't like alot of fighting , and if you fight make it a fair fight.Leo can be too damn fixed for us 🙂

I hear ya, but one thing libras are guilty of is lying, and u shouldn't have to put up with it, a lie is a lie, if he can't be honest with u, then the relationship wasn't real to begin with

I have a libra boyfriend, I still want to kick his azz at times, confrontation is not a libras strong suit, it's like u have to have an iron fist with kid gloves sometimes

Well in the convo today I told him I was trying to move past the lying but he started acting suspicious which spark the arguments and break ups. He couldn't understand why I felt the way I did although I gave him examples.. Not answer the phone, going in the bathroom with his phone, phone is going off in the middle of the night, I started seeing him less and talking less. He didnt get it. I didn't have concrete proof but I also didn't go looking. Along with baggage and suspicious behavior I guess it was too much on me and me arguing with him was too much. It's sad because I am still in love with this man. We got along very well while we were around each other. It's soooo hard to walk away he was such a major part of my life and it hurts more feeling like I never mattered that much.

Leo27 did you both agree to a monogamous committed relationship while this was going on?

Lying can kill intimacy real fast, lying can end a relationship, end trust etc. Was he truly lying or was he just not open enough with you?

You stated several issues about his phone, not answering his phone, going in the bathroom with his phone, phone going off at night but that technically is not lying. So what exactly was he lying about?

Where you a couple? He didn't seem to be on the same page with you which makes me wonder if he truly was lying to you or if it was more about him not feeling a deep connection with you after so much arguing so he just didn't give a shit anymore.

We were in a relationship. He wanted the relationship. His lies were major. What I will say had I known what he was lying about when I met him I wouldn't have dealt with him. He has a lot of baggage but he seemed like a really nice guy that got dealt a bad hand because of his ex. I looked at it like everyone deserves happiness and the countless long talks we had about his life and what we wanted in the future once all his baggage was cleared up.

In all honesty he was selfish for entering a relationship without some of the baggage he had. It made me insecure all the time. He was good at reassuring but I guess he got tired of doing that. The phones issues have gotten progressively worse the more we were arguing. I felt like he was cheating or had a female as an outlet. He started doing dumb shit like I call he won't answer but text back shit. When I call him on anything he automatically get defensive and frustrated.

I've dealt with libras b4 and they were cheaters and I wanted to believe he as different because he did seem mature and treated me differently. I don't like how libra men rather run, ignore, and get cold even if they're wrong. That's what hurts he pursued me. He wanted the relationship and said he lived me first. He damn near lived at my house and when things changed I'm never suppose to speak on it. I'm VERY hurt cause I was always honest and faithful and I didn't deserve this and now he being cold and move on like I wasn't shit crushes me!

"We were in a relationship. He wanted the relationship."

When you say we were in a relationship. I want to know if he said he was committed to you and monogamous with only you. I want to know if those words came out of his mouth in some variation of what I asked you.

Many, many moons ago before I married I dated a Libra and he said I love you FIRST but him saying I love you didn't mean he wasn't going to cheat and look for an outlet.

I was insecure already before he even showed up in my life and those insecurities only got worse as I witnessed him being distant and a bit cold and noticing his slight interest in other women but never enough to say he was a cheater.

I realized unless he verbally said it out of his mouth "I'm monogamous only with you" "I'm off the market" "I don't want to date anyone else and I don't want you to date anyone else" it was all an assumption on my part.

" He has a lot of baggage but he seemed like a really nice guy that got dealt a bad hand because of his ex."

Nice or not, don't you know men with baggage come with issues such as lying, sleeping around, flirting with women in your face and/or behind your back, basically all the mess we women hate.

"In all honesty he was selfish for entering a relationship without some of the baggage he had."

Blame yourself for entering into a relationship with someone that you KNEW had baggage. What did you really expect?

This man was a walking red flag. It's a big risk taking on a man with unresolved baggage.

It's not that he's moving on as if you're not shit.

He has no choice but to move on if you're unhappy with him.

Look at his way. He has unresolved baggage in his own life and then he creates unresolved baggage with you well he can't resolve his issue with you if he can't even resolve the mess he had going on in his life before you showed up in his life.

You missed the red flag or just over looked it altogether.

Probably overlooked. It's sad how often women overlook obvious red flags.

I can relate to bits of this post because of the one that I dated earlier this year. We were cool until he started showing signs of wtfery, especially in regard to other women. I fucked up and didn't clarify sooner on what was going on and lo and behold, he did what I knew he'd do - cop out.

But generally, men that leave room for grey area do it on purpose. They do it to leave that nice little loophole so they don't have to be accountable if they so choose to change their mind. EVERYTHING points to monogamous relationship but the second they want to screw around and be selfish pricks, they whip out that grey area card and claim that they were never dating/in a relationship/whatever freaking cop out they use. It basically shows how selfish they are. They want to screw around, but have someone around for the warm fuzzies until they don't feel like it anymore. And because they never said verbatim that things were exclusive, they don't have to carry the guilt for being a selfish prick and wasting your time.

The one I had to deal with fed me so much ass backwards backpedaling bullshit when I confronted him. And to top it off, he concluded all that crap with "I don' see anything wrong." If they can't realize what they've done wrong, that's very telling of their mentality. Why would you want a romantic relationship with someone like that?

These type of guys are terrible for insecure women and can make any secure woman an insecure mess.

They really do need to be avoided if you don't want to get toyed with or burned. To ignore the obvious and dive in anyway, you were just leaving yourself wide open to be burned. These types are the Pied Pipers, yo.

We were monogamous. It was said by him and it wasn't an issue that was unknown like "am I his exclusive gf". I was. The problem was the "lies" didnt come out until we were together and both of us was in love with one another. As far as the baggage goes that to wasn't an issue because of course I got the "representative" so he was in my face 24/7. I never felt insecure at this time. Whatever issues he had was hidden until AFTER my feelings were establish.

I feel like he genuinely wanted a loving relationship but the way he went about it was selfish and in the end I found out so many things that his cons out weighed his pros. I seen the red flags and he was called on every single one. That too was probably the demise of our relationship because he didnt want to keep hearing all the shit he was doing. As far as cheating again this wasn't something I felt in the beginning the suspicion didnt come out Neil we started arguing all the time and me realizing he was getting comfort somewhere else but again. Have no proof.

Trust had I known everything I known now. Wouldn't have dealt with him and he knows it. He always said I'm sorry for the lies but I was fighting to keep you and now I have to live with my mistake. But all while playing the victim. So now he walks away from the car crash he created and I have to start over. Nothing hurts more still loving someone who has done you wrong and be treated coldly and you did nothing wrong to him. It hurts a lot.

What I found out with libra men anyway. They tend to start new situations without fixing their current situation. That never makes sense to me with them. When things get to difficult and stressful they will jump ship and go find a new one. Everyone gets hurt while they move on. He wanted me to stay and understand and work with him while he was trying to lighten his baggage. I really tried no one is perfect. I Loved him and was trying to be understanding but as woman I can only except and deal with so much.

Posted by LEOGIRL727
What I found out with libra men anyway. They tend to start new situations without fixing their current situation. That never makes sense to me with them. When things get to difficult and stressful they will jump ship and go find a new one. Everyone gets hurt while they move on. He wanted me to stay and understand and work with him while he was trying to lighten his baggage. I really tried no one is perfect. I Loved him and was trying to be understanding but as woman I can only except and deal with so much.

Thisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthisthis.

This is the black hole some face when they've yet to grow up and evolve. They run away from conflict and go on a self sabotaging rampage left and right if they don't properly handle everything.

It can happen with any sign, but I have seen many a Libra do this. It's that dislike of conflict maybe. "It's too hard, run away and bury head in the sand!"

+1 million Rocky

"We were monogamous. It was said by him and it wasn't an issue that was unknown like "am I his exclusive gf"."

Thanks for clarifying.

"The problem was the "lies" didnt come out until we were together and both of us was in love with one another."

I hate to say this...

If he lied to you from the start he was never in it for the long haul. Lies create an eventual disconnect, distance between 2 people. Honesty creates closeness and intimacy.

"As far as the baggage goes that to wasn't an issue because of course I got the "representative" so he was in my face 24/7. I never felt insecure at this time. Whatever issues he had was hidden until AFTER my feelings were establish. "

And that's the thing. You fell for a man who openly let you know he had unresolved baggage with his ex.

What happened to you can happen to anyone. You bought the lie he sold you. Many women take men on with baggage from an ex and they usually get burned in some way or her life is a living hell.

Men with unresolved baggage are not good boyfriend material because the baggage usually wins by rearing it's ugly head in the new relationship.

"Trust had I known everything I known now. Wouldn't have dealt with him and he knows it. He always said I'm sorry for the lies but I was fighting to keep you and now I have to live with my mistake."

Lies never keep anyone together so I don't believe him at all and honestly you shouldn't believe a liar either.

"So now he walks away from the car crash he created and I have to start over. Nothing hurts more still loving someone who has done you wrong and be treated coldly and you did nothing wrong to him. It hurts a lot."

And you took him on KNOWING he had unresolved baggage. You could have avoided this by having a boundary in place.

I have a no date policy when it comes to dating men with unresolved baggage, then friend zoned him or drop him altogether.

Learn from this. Set a boundary for yourself and before agreeing to be in a relationship with a man who carries unresolved baggage figure out the pros and cons BEFORE you jump in and give your heart away.

The red flag was the unresolved baggage. Don't take on a man with unresolved baggage unless you're emotionally prepared for the cons.

in total agreement Rocky!! I guess I always wondered do they even feel guilt that they leave you to pick up the pieces and is this why they let so much time go by and then call. I absolutely hate when someone calls like everything is great like you didn't shit on me. I'm ANGRY and in a way grieving. I want to send him an email and call him everything in the book but I know it's pointless in the end. 😢 Now trying to pull my life back together....

My story was exactly the same . I am Leo too. I know what you feel and how you are feeling. I didn't accepted to be friends only , when I wanted marry him and serious things, he only to tell me to be friends — No way ! I stoped any contact with him and now I let him feel he lost me ! I sugest you do this step. He will be back to you , because he don't want to lose you forever ! At least he want you as a friend, but be sure he want more. A friend for him, after you was his lover, is maybe ok for him, but nopt for you ! So , seeing you are not there for him to be a friend as he want only, he will come back to you with the question to be his gf again. He do this because he is instabile. he is confuse and he no want to lose you forever. He want you a friend now, but you want him as a bf or more , right ? So... give up for a while and he will cannot stay without you anymore if he really likes you ! He will have to accept your proposal at least because Libra cannot lose a dear person ! They want that person back ! 🙂
I know you forgive a lot of things, I do also, it is a bad point of us, of Lions. they easily use us for their needs when we do like this and forgive their lies always... So, stop everything with him for a while, he will find you back ! Can pass 1-2-3 months, even more, in this time, you just do your life , do not stay and suffer ! Believe me, is not worth to stay and suffer ! He will miss you , because he lost you even as a friend ! Do not accept be his friend only ! If accept this, is like you means nothing for him and you are agree with this, no ! 🙂

If you know sure he is married, then give up dear ! No sense , because a Libra man care his family and family is everything for him.
In my case, he was not married, but his family was against me , was other story so. At least he asked me be friends only, but I refused and I think I was doing the right thing ! I cannot accept to suffer more to see he will marry with other woman and I am just a friend to him. Is better suffer one time, not two times ! Remember this !

Poor girl, I feel crying reading your story which is very very similar to my story...😢 I know how you are feeling now.. I can feel your pain. I am in the same pain as you. It is a pity that this creatures no have any heart and they can be so strong to ignore, to disappear and to hurt peoples who really love them 😢 But you know ? In one day, he will be the one who will see what he lost , not you. You only lose someone who does not loves you , but he lose someone who loves him ! It is a big difference. Be strong ! In my case, help much just to be myself , alone, not to talk with anyone what happened . It is a asia way this. If you say a thing for several times, it will be more painful than you say it only to yourself ! So, it means, if you talk with 7 peoples about your story, they will say different ideas, some of them accuse you, some of them are unable see the things right, and they only increase your pain. So, keep silent only for yourself, and I can tell you, in 1 month , you will be so strong and pass over this by yourself ! Keep your mind busy in this time and talk with peoples about other things, not about your personal life. Do not show your sadness out. When you are alone, cry, let it go out ! Let is pass.... It will pass , sweetie ! In my case, I was doing other asian thing : I went to the place where I finished the relationship . That place was his city. I was staying in the same hotel where we was together . You can image how hard it was . But I did this because Asians say : "you will recover in the place where you was hurt" and it was really true ! I have been there and saw that he is not again there for me ! I saw myself alone there, and make clear in my mind and eyes that he is not there anymore ! I was leaving that city then, I was crying , but I was back home and now I am feel better. I am constient that he is not there for me anymore. Is not ! It is a past now ! If you can see the places where you have been together, do this thing wnd you will see , you will feel much better to see that he is not there for you now .
He may back in one day, give him time, do not accept be only friend with him. Be nothing with him until he will want you back ! Until he will see you are not there for him anymore and if he loves you, he will back. Be strong !