Libra boyfriend, should I be worried?

I am a Sagittarius female(20) who has been with a libra boy(18)for 1 year. Everything is fine between us I actually find very comfortable with him, I gotta say Libra men can be real sweet hearts sometimes. My only concerns come with his Libra female best friend sometimes and thats why I want to ask some advice from you Libra's out there.

He has told me multiple times that he doesn't like her and he only sees her as a friend and nothing else. The thing is that sometimes in facebook I see pictures of them hugging and him giving her kisses in the cheek. (I am not a jealous person, in fact I allow him to be with her whenever he wants because just like him I have a my male best friend (a Scorpio) and we are always together too so he says he doesn't mind him either.
The only thing that concerns me is that last week he confessed me that he cheated on his last ex girfriend. He was drunk and I have a feeling he didn't realize he was talking to his gf but anyways, he told me he cheated on her because his ex was always jealous of him and his best friend, so he got really mad that she didn't trust him so he started cheating on her with his co-worker (who he claims has been his 1st love of his life but he swears he doesn't have any feelings for anymore) I am quoting him "used him and never wanted a relationship with him because while they were together she was still with her bf". Anyways she is not the point, the only thing that concerns me is the best friend because I don't want the same story to happen between his ex and him with me.
So my question for you Libra??s out there can you tell me your POV of this situation? Should I be concerned about his Libra best friend? Since he already cheated once would he do it again?
I havent gotten any problems with him going cold (only at the beginning) or acting weird (unless he has problems in his life which happens once in a while), when we are around he is all lovely dovey and in fact he always makes plans of us being together forever (which freaks me out btw). Anyways he doesnt give me any reason to trust him but my Sagittarius instinct always tells me to double check things.
Forgot to add: His Libra best friend hates me, everytime she sees me she gives me dirty looks and is very anti-social.

And one last thing I know we are young and everything but if no one minds would you mind checking our charts?
Thank you in advance, I hope my story wasnt boring or confusing
The chart is in the next post

His chart
Rising Sign is in 10 Degrees Sagittarius
Sun is in 14 Degrees Libra.
Moon is in 24 Degrees Libra.
Mercury is in 18 Degrees Libra.
Venus is in 01 Degrees Virgo.
Mars is in 24 Degrees Libra.
Jupiter is in 05 Degrees Virgo.
Saturn is in 00 Degrees Aquarius.
Uranus is in 09 Degrees Capricorn.
Neptune is in 14 Degrees Capricorn.
Pluto is in 18 Degrees Scorpio.
N. Node is in 14 Degrees Capricorn.

And mine

Rising Sign is in 20 Degrees Capricorn
Sun is in 17 Degrees Sagittarius.
Moon is in 05 Degrees Taurus.
Mercury is in 03 Degrees Capricorn.
Venus is in 29 Degrees Capricorn.
Mars is in 24 Degrees Scorpio.
Jupiter is in 08 Degrees Cancer.
Saturn is in 13 Degrees Capricorn.
Uranus is in 04 Degrees Capricorn.
Neptune is in 11 Degrees Capricorn.
Pluto is in 16 Degrees Scorpio.
N. Node is in 18 Degrees Aquarius.

Anything is possible. I am a believer in "Once a cheater, always a cheater" and while I have tried to give people the benefit of the doubt it always comes full circle.

A few red flags that I see:

His best friend hates you - that's not good.
He doesn't tell this friend to "act right" around you.
You are jealous of his friend... yes you are.
He told you that the last gf who was jealous of his friend caused him to cheat.

I see your concerns.

None of this is specific to a Libra though. The only Libra things I see are his quick attachment, we do that sometimes and his flirty huggy kissy nature with a friend. I do hug friends, male and female. I have kissed female friends on the check. I have NEVER cheated on anyone.

Good points librasid...

He's a cheater...dump this clown, the best friend isn't the issue here, his lack of boundaries is the issue, friends don't hug and kiss on each other so it's more than friendship going on, possibly a fwb situation, he has low morals and will not be true to anyone, that's a personality defect that no one can fix but him, IMO it's not will he cheat again because that's sure to happen, it's more about what are you prepared to do when it all comes tumbling down that he's most likely been cheating on you from the start with the bestfriend and god knows who else he's been sleeping around with, It doesn't sound like he holds any remorse for being a cheater, in fact he has some really lame ass excuses for cheating on his X.

You can stick around to see if he cheats on you but IMO he's not the kind of guy I would want to be with longterm if at all, he's also really young...At the age of 20 I would think you would go for a more mature guy.

If I were you, (your age) and I didn't want to leave I would make it a point to keep my enemies close, befriend the best friend and I'm sure she will spill it all on his ass, she knows his dirty secretes so he has to keep her happy....Crack her and that's they key to knowing what's truly going on....If he cheats then he lies, they both go hand and hand, I think he gets a kick out of pulling one over on women...I would end it, just be friends and move on to someone with less drama which includes him not being a cheater.

Posted by tiki33
his lack of boundaries is the issue, friends don't hug and kiss on each other so it's more than friendship going on, possibly a fwb situation

I agree with everything except this part. Friends can hug. Friends can give kisses on the check. If they are kissing lips, no... but a quick peck on the cheek, why not?

Like i said in my first post, I hug my good friends (male or female) and sometimes will give or receive a peck on the cheek from a female friend. There is nothing sexual about it. It's the same way I kiss my children on the cheek or forehead. This best friend that he has could be just a friend. More? Possibly, but not necessarily.

a peck on the cheek and a hug is not what I'm discussing here, this seems to be a frequent theme with him, given he's a cheater he's most likely crossed boundaries with this girl-friend.

I'm fully aware people are loose with boundaries today but this is part of the reason why so many women are falling in love with there guy friends which usually means someone is being misled in some way and hanging onto the other person, seems this girl-friend has staked her claim.

Let's say it's just kiss on the cheek and a hug even so if my boyfriend had pictures plastered of him and a girl kissing and hugging on facebook I would question that, that would push my comfort level and I would most likely dump his ass, not so much b/c I'm a jealous person, it takes a lot to rattle my cage but the fact that he's not taking me into consideration just like he didn't take his girlfriend into consideration before he cheated., this is more of a boundary issue.

Maybe it's my naive (is that spelled right?) trusting side... I assumed the hugs were innocent and it was just a peck on the cheek. My trusting nature has gotten me burned before so OP you may want to go on the side of caution here.

It really is a question about the individual's integrity. I do not have loose boundaries, they may just be in a different place than yours or hers or who evers, but they are no less firm. Actually thinking about it right now my boundaries are kind of hard to explain but there is a definite line you cannot cross.

Anyway, getting back on topic... it is about personal integrity. he already told you what his is, he cheated on his last gf and took the lame cop out "she kept saying it until it happened" (I really dislike that one by the way)...

usually once a cheater always a cheater...but how much did he really love his ex? i dnt think its a dead give away. lookin at ur charts hes alot of air and ur mostly earth so i think naturally the things u may c as a big deal or potential problem, he may nt. i would b concerned about it takin so long for him 2 confess about the cheating bcuz if he could keep dat from u what else is he keepin a secret. as far as the best friend...her nt likin u is prob a compliment. lol shes prob jealous of u, and she wouldnt b if she had n e indication that he wanted her. nt 2 say, shes nt interested n him. but i wouldnt stress 2 much abot fb pics cuz if he felt lik he had sumthin 2 hide they wouldnt b up there. but if u dnt lik the interaction between the two of them what u nd 2 do is giv him alittle taste of his own medicine. i think thats the best way 2 get thru 2 a libra. ex. take a pic kissin a guy on the cheek. if he tells u he doesnt lik it, then u explain thats how i feel when u do it...jus an example. if he cares, he'll change. but realistically hes only 18, and younger than u. (men mature much slower) so if ur willing 2 put n the work u hav ample time 2 mold him n2 what u want him 2b 🙂

Thank you everyone for your replies I really appreciate them as they give me a different POV of things. I guess about the cheating you guys are right, I do believe the same thing "Once a cheater is always a cheater" I dont know if it will make a difference but he cheated on that girl when he was 16 and she was 14, I always thought it was like those "high school romances", but I really dont know what to say about that. My friend cheated on her bf many times when she was that age and now that she is all "grown" up and in her 20??s she doesn't even look at other men, but I guess it really depends on people.

About having sex with his best friend I don't know what to say about that, since I know he hasn't slept with anyone yet, or at least thats what he told me and from the way he acts to some things I can tell he hasn't really been with a woman.

It is true that guys mature much more slower, as a matter of fact I do find him a bit immature for me sometimes and I do ask myself what the heck am I doing with him if we are 2 completely different people(mentally, school wise and society wise)) but I dont know something inside me sees something good in him and I enjoy being with him. But I think its mostly because I feel like I wanna help him grow because he doesn't have any role model to guide him through life and he looks up at me all the time, not like his nanny or anything like that but with the decisions he has to take for his future and somehow I feel happy that I can help him mature and help him become a better person.

About the best friend, I dont know why she doesnt like me, I try being friendly with her when I see her but she is always a bitch, she is very fake with me. I would love to befriend her to get the dirty secrets out but I doubt that girl is ever going to want. My sister and my best friend when they met her told me they had the impression that she likes him but they dont think he likes her in that way by the way he expresses himself about her but you never know with people sometimes they can be good actors I guess. I dont know if its relevant but whenever I see both of them together he doesn't act different towards me or treats her better than me or anything like that, he always makes sure I have my place. He always tells me that he sees her as a sister, and I wanna believe him but you never know I guess.
Anyways let me know what you think, I appreciate your responses a lot.

Posted by tiki33
...the fact that he's not taking me into consideration just like he didn't take his girlfriend into consideration before he cheated., this is more of a boundary issue.

Bingo. Except it is just a little more than a boundary issue IMO, it is a maturity issue. What you guys are facing is a conflict of what each of you finds as basic morally acceptable behavior.

If you were like he is huggy and kissy with your guy friends there wouldn't be a fundamental disagreement but there is so you are faced with trying to get him to see things your way and change how he acts or seeing things his way, trusting him and not having a problem with it. Unless you two are really in love neither of those is likely going to happen.

IMO he isn't mature enough to understand how girlfriends think and what they want. It shouldn't be an issue of whether or not you understand that his behavior is "innocent" it should be an issue of him understanding that you don't really like it and finding out how he can modify the way he does things to make you more comfortable without sacrificing being himself. If that conversation is not possible between you then that says about all anything can about your relationship.

Silentdoll,


Your right, it really depends on the person whether they are a cheater, stay a cheater or change from cheater to not a cheater. The thing you pointed out about your friend is that she is "all grown up" now. That is the 'x' factor when it comes to people changing their character with cheating or anything else. What you need to be worried about isn't whether "once a cheater always a cheater" is a true statement or not, but whether he has grown up since then.

About his friend being fake and bitchy....she can probably see or feel the attitude and intentions that you revealed with the comment of befriending her to find out his or their dirty secrets. You guys are in competition with each other. Whether you have your place or not, whether you try to be polite with each other or not you are both competing for his attention and affections. You may get the sexual side of things, but that doesn't mean her "place" isn't in receiving priority in other areas.

The truth about opposite sex BEST friends is that it really is dumb to think that you can maintain best friend status with a member of the opposite sex and a healthy relationship with your lover/boyfriend/husband and vice versa. You are supposed to be best friends with your partner, that is crucial in having a truly deep, fulfilling relationship. If you and your partner don't have that kind of compatibility than you are always going to be losing out on that part of the relationship experience to someone else whether it is this girl or not. The hard, confusing things that you would ideally utilize an opposite sex best friend for, you should really be working with your partner on. It is a two way street. Now same sex best friend is completely different, no matter how deep or open minded someone tries to be with the whole opposite sex best friend thing, guys relate to guys and women relate to women better.....Once they have matured. I love the ladies, I appreciate my female friends....all I need or WANT them to be are friends...not best friends.

Posted by nicodemus

Posted by tiki33
...the fact that he's not taking me into consideration just like he didn't take his girlfriend into consideration before he cheated., this is more of a boundary issue.

Bingo. Except it is just a little more than a boundary issue IMO, it is a maturity issue. What you guys are facing is a conflict of what each of you finds as basic morally acceptable behavior.

If you were like he is huggy and kissy with your guy friends there wouldn't be a fundamental disagreement but there is so you are faced with trying to get him to see things your way and change how he acts or seeing things his way, trusting him and not having a problem with it. Unless you two are really in love neither of those is likely going to happen.

IMO he isn't mature enough to understand how girlfriends think and what they want. It shouldn't be an issue of whether or not you understand that his behavior is "innocent" it should be an issue of him understanding that you don't really like it and finding out how he can modify the way he does things to make you more comfortable without sacrificing being himself. If that conversation is not possible between you then that says about all anything can about your relationship.

click to expand

Totally agree...great advice Nic

Thank you everyone for their advice, I really appreciate it, it was very helpful and it made me realize many things. Two days ago I talked to him and he clarified many things to me about the friend and the cheating. Once again, thank you for your advice everyone.

omg, and you aren't gonna talk about what he said? tease! lol.

personally, i wouldn't get along with you much just because i never get along with sag females. we just clash. and i'm super affectionate with libra friends. just about anyone could get the idea something else was going on from watching us flirt and hug and stuff. some other friends too, but especially libras.

libra guys are super flirty with a lot of people. it usually means nothing. they just like attention.

and cheating should never be a huge red flag unless they cheated on multiple relationships or they cheated with you. otherwise, people change. situations change.

Lol sorry its because it was a long talk thats why :p but I will share it with you. When I talked to him the first time I didnt let him finish the story about the cheating because I was questioning him more than usual and whether or not when he told me the entire story about the cheating was true or not I felt he was very sincere when he told me.
Anyways about the cheating he told me he did feel bad, he told me he cried because he knew what he did was wrong and it wasn't his intentions to cheat on someone, and he told me he felt very bad about himself. He told me he did it because the girl before that girl and the girl who he had a fling with (the co-worker) were playing with him emotionally and mentally and he wanted to feel how she felt when he did that to her so he did it for an immature reason (thats how he said it), he told me he will never do it again as he was young and he was selfish because he didnt think about his gf and more stuffs like that.
We talked about the best friend again and I told him he needs to stop doing good things that to other people might look wrong, I told him that I respect his friendship with the friend and everything but I told him he has to treat her more like a friend and treat her as he expects me to treat my male friends.
I told him about the facebook and he told me he doesnt even have facebook account anymore (he blocked it 4 months ago and I knew that btw) but I still told him that he and his friend need to have more boundaries.
And yep thats it, we??ll see how it goes.

lol, you did it all wrong, when you are talking to a libra who is telling you abt his previous CHEATING experience, you have to keep a soft face and nod a lot, smile and take his hand too, just to make him sure that you are sssssssoooooooooooo appreciative,,, other wise, they will sense your discomfort and displeasure and on-the-spot, cook up a new version, all nice.. lol


libras can outshine any gemini in cooking up a false, nice sounding, good ending story.. lies lol, they dont call it LIE, they call it being Diplomatic and Sensitive. huh

I think you handled it perfectly. From the perspective of another Libra guy, what I was looking for was him to explain the situation without trying to justify his actions and admit that it was wrong...looks like he did both. What you have to watch out for is the Libra that justifies what they did wrong. This is a huge red flag and it should be taken as a sign that you are not going to get what you need out of the interraction and they aren't going to try to give it to you.

Nico, are all evolved libras just on this site.. kiddding :-)

most of the libras I met (and yes, they have been a observatory practice for me, after a fateful incident.) They really have a blind-spot where their own selves are concerned. Objective Self Analysis with a view to Correction, is beyond libra. its just a coin side of aries, where nativity is concerned.

let me try to explain this...

this SAME BOYFRIEND, of the original poster,,, if he was consulted to give Opinion, on a hypothetical situation where a man cheated on his ex because ex was jealousy-prone. The same BF will GIVE EXCELLENT advice and tell with great clarity what psychological problems that hypothetical man has.... but this boyfriend is UNABLE TO APPLY the reasoning logic to self.

libras give excellent advice and have great depth of analysis for people, but are totally incapable of putting self under microscope.

^^ typical aversion to a different point of view, no matter how en-lightening..

Posted by N.N
let me try to explain this...

this SAME BOYFRIEND, of the original poster,,, if he was consulted to give Opinion, on a hypothetical situation where a man cheated on his ex because ex was jealousy-prone. The same BF will GIVE EXCELLENT advice and tell with great clarity what psychological problems that hypothetical man has.... but this boyfriend is UNABLE TO APPLY the reasoning logic to self.

libras give excellent advice and have great depth of analysis for people, but are totally incapable of putting self under microscope.

All I can really say to this is that my experiences don't match up with yours. In mine Libras a very capable of practicing what they preech. I think one of the disconnects between libras and non libras and particulalry water signs is that we can pick up on the subtle intillectual ques in a situation...in fact, we can't really ignore them, the same way that water signs pick up on the most subtle emotional ques. I think why you have the perspective you do is you are viewing others from a position of superiority.

The difference between us and Scorps is we do and can see through the layers to the root of issues...IMO even better than scorps can who tend to pride themselves in that ability...the difference is that we don't tend to need to express that we are or can do this. We do when a situation is important enough to us to do so.

We represent ideals and ideas over self. We se ourselves and our talents as a tool for whatever the idea or ideal is in the moment....we are rarely the point itself like water and fire signs tend to be.

Posted by sdgaf
Why is it that ?

Most scorpios come here to teach a Libra..
how he/she should behave.. to be appreciated in a scorpion eyes.

We're people pleasers (to a certain extent),
not scorpios' slaves.

You know you want to be ruled by a hott scorpio chick,stop kidding yourself.lol🙂

Posted by nicodemus

All I can really say to this is that my experiences don't match up with yours. In mine Libras a very capable of practicing what they preech. I think one of the disconnects between libras and non libras and particulalry water signs is that we can pick up on the subtle intillectual ques in a situation...in fact, we can't really ignore them, the same way that water signs pick up on the most subtle emotional ques. I think why you have the perspective you do is you are viewing others from a position of superiority.

The difference between us and Scorps is we do and can see through the layers to the root of issues...IMO even better than scorps can who tend to pride themselves in that ability...the difference is that we don't tend to need to express that we are or can do this. We do when a situation is important enough to us to do so.

We represent ideals and ideas over self. We se ourselves and our talents as a tool for whatever the idea or ideal is in the moment....we are rarely the point itself like water and fire signs tend to be.

I get the part abt *idea and ideals*, where as a scorpio tend to reply to 'undertone' or message behind the spoken words, libras take words too close and may miss the entire message.

as for superiority part, contrary to what it seems, intellectual superiority is as snooty as the emotional depth analytical skill scorps revel in. I am personally very positive person (all my personal planets in fire except sun), still libras need to put self under analysis more than how they are able to analyze others. Scorpios do more depth search within than they do with anyone else, just for record.

thanks for explaining your views nic, since i joined i alwaays found you to be better equipped at analysis, bet you do have water planets 😉

... haha, kidding

Posted by N.N

Posted by nicodemus

All I can really say to this is that my experiences don't match up with yours. In mine Libras a very capable of practicing what they preech. I think one of the disconnects between libras and non libras and particulalry water signs is that we can pick up on the subtle intillectual ques in a situation...in fact, we can't really ignore them, the same way that water signs pick up on the most subtle emotional ques. I think why you have the perspective you do is you are viewing others from a position of superiority.

The difference between us and Scorps is we do and can see through the layers to the root of issues...IMO even better than scorps can who tend to pride themselves in that ability...the difference is that we don't tend to need to express that we are or can do this. We do when a situation is important enough to us to do so.

We represent ideals and ideas over self. We se ourselves and our talents as a tool for whatever the idea or ideal is in the moment....we are rarely the point itself like water and fire signs tend to be.

I get the part abt *idea and ideals*, where as a scorpio tend to reply to 'undertone' or message behind the spoken words, libras take words too close and may miss the entire message.

as for superiority part, contrary to what it seems, intellectual superiority is as snooty as the emotional depth analytical skill scorps revel in. I am personally very positive person (all my personal planets in fire except sun), still libras need to put self under analysis more than how they are able to analyze others. Scorpios do more depth search within than they do with anyone else, just for record.

thanks for explaining your views nic, since i joined i alwaays found you to be better equipped at analysis, bet you do have water planets 😉

... haha, kidding

click to expand

Actually I only have one water sign in my chart...scorp in Saturn. I am all air, earth and fire in that order and all my air are Libra, fire are sag and earth are virgo ecxept the taurus rising. Really concentrated chart.

I appreciate what you are saying about the intillectual superiority but, no offense all I can really say is "Meh" with a shoulder shrug. I am sure I have a tendancy to give off that vibe but I have a primarily intillectual soul so better or worse it is what it is.