libra man and scorpion woman

Hi all

my first post here.i never beleived in zodiac signs and compatibility until today.i am a libra guy (born oct22 1981)married to a scorpion woman (born oct 28 1980)whom i dated for 6 years and then we got married and its been 2 years of pain and sorrow after that. she is very dominating in my life and thinks as if she had bee thru several marriages and she knows" how marriage works". when she wants something she wants her husband to understand it and stand up for her but when i expect something from her she has the answer "accept the person the way he or she is". compromise after comprise is really suffocating me a lot and for me love means sacrifice for ur partners happiness.it cant be one sided. she just wants everything her way. on one side i wanna be with her because i am not those kind of males who are jealous of their working spouse and their growth. it makes me feel proud but then she shudnt make me feel that my feelings are useless and immature. she thinks she can take her decisions better than mine but i have seen her collapse when her anger calms down. her anger is really becoming scary for me and i live in a fear with her that . i also fear that i might not be able to find someone better but then is it worth it. we stayed away for sometime and i felt i was more relaxed and was myself. she is very confident that she can live alone and i feel the opposite but then i cant pretend i am happy.
please help me out guys what shud i be doing?shud marriage have expectations or not?
is the pain and sorrow i am going thru worth it?
i dont want to have kids and then let my wife leave me with them and i am alone again.
she wants me to tell her my problems but then also tell me that u r too demanding and shut me up midway. i cant argue and annot scream but she is very good at it. last 2 years have made me very impatient, sad and low in confidence. she is my first love and want love in return. i know she is charming ans she can find other guy also. but does that mean i shud be with her in a fear that i might not get someone better.

P.S i dont want this thread to be a libra scorpio fight. only genuine advice

Thanks in advance

Stand up to her for crying out loud. Yes, a Scorpio woman will try to get her way all the time. If you are weak we will run you over and have no respect for you. If her anger scares you she knows it and she is playing off this fear. Scorpios are like children some times. They push you to your limit until you finally draw a line in the sand and stand up to them and tell them NO. You are walking on eggshells around her and she knows she has you "in line". Do NOT let her get away with that. She'll push you until you crack and run away.

thanks a lot for the beautiful advice being urself a scorpio woman.i appreciate that
the problem with me is i know i always loose to her in argument.And u r right she knows my this weakness but then will the sudden change in behaviour like answering back and saying her " u r not right" will be acceptable to her.
she only takes good points of someone elses successful relationship which are comfortable to her .yesterday she sent me text that " to end this is like a defeat to her and she will ruin everything for everyone including my parents". she spoiled every relationship of mine including my parents as they were not according to her and abused and fought with them. after shifting to a new house she is the king there as there are no responsibilities and she is enjoying it. but i am living a life of shuttlecock and still alone even when with her. she just wants me and nothing else. marriages dont work like that. its about building relationships. i cant live with her because she threats me of dire consequences and to tell u the truth i am afraid although i believe that nothing can happen to me if i am following the path of truth but then in this materialistic and influential society only contacts and money speaks which i lack.
i love everyone around me and want to be loved.
i dont want to fight everytime we have an argument and then look for forums for help. i need an understanding with her which is not developing. the only thing that matters to her is "I". when it was her problems it had to sorted as "our" problems but when the problem is mine she just simply says i cant understand ur problems and u shud find a solution for them and if u need any help lemme know. but i cant ask her for help because she is not willing to listen.

right now i want to decide between stress being with her all my life or a little loneliness alone.

please keep ur suggestions coming.making me feel good

thanks a lot

Posted by 22Diddy02
Man.. you going thru alot my friend.. jus like Gingerscorp said.. you jus have to stand up for youself.. some libras are all about harmony and i can see that in you.

Diddy

thanks a lot for that.
u know wat i belong to INDIA where there is a preconceived notion that a girl is always right and even if a girl slaps a guy the guy goes behind the bars with just one complaint of the gal without even hearing the guy out.
when u say stand up for urself u mean i shud answer back and try to get things my way. or take a decision that i dont want to be with her and face any consequence that might come?

thanks a lot guys
as i said i am already getting some confidence because unlike her, people here are ready to hear me out and m glad i found this board. but that doesnt mean i just want to hear good words about me. please tell me where i am wrong. i know my fault is that i have always taken a backseat in an argument and have been trusting alcohol and tranqulizers more than fighting and crying out loud

Thanks

She does this to you because she knows she can "win" no matter what you say. It may not be your nature to fight but to be quite honest to be in relationship with a Scorpio woman you have to at times be prepared for battle. It the nature of the beast 🙂

Her spoiling every relationship you have is her way of isolating you to make it easier for her to manipulate you so you have no outside influences and have only her to look to. Take the steps no matter what she says to heal those relationships especially with your parents. Let her throw a tantrum. It's YOUR life.

You need to tell her firmly that you need time away from her if you can. Don't be scared of a fight with her. Stand your ground. And when I say fight try first talking to her and telling her how you feel. If she doesn't want to listen then walk away and let her stew in it. Go away if you can and stay away with no contact. This will scare her as she will have no control over you.

You are the only one to weigh the options. Are you so scared of being a little lonely that you'll take abuse? And I'll tell you in advance that if you choose to divorce her she will make it very hard and painful. Let her sink herself. Scorpios are so adament to "win" that they will destroy themselves trying to take down everyone around them. We are the masters of self distruction.

For now be strong and don't get bogged down into an argument with her, She probably enjoys watching you squirm and fell the "Power" of winning and controlling you. Do what YOU want to do. It's YOUR life only you can make choices for yourself.

*feel* not fell. darn typos

Posted by Gingerscorp
She does this to you because she knows she can "win" no matter what you say. It may not be your nature to fight but to be quite honest to be in relationship with a Scorpio woman you have to at times be prepared for battle. It the nature of the beast 🙂

Her spoiling every relationship you have is her way of isolating you to make it easier for her to manipulate you so you have no outside influences and have only her to look to. Take the steps no matter what she says to heal those relationships especially with your parents. Let her throw a tantrum. It's YOUR life.

You need to tell her firmly that you need time away from her if you can. Don't be scared of a fight with her. Stand your ground. And when I say fight try first talking to her and telling her how you feel. If she doesn't want to listen then walk away and let her stew in it. Go away if you can and stay away with no contact. This will scare her as she will have no control over you.

You are the only one to weigh the options. Are you so scared of being a little lonely that you'll take abuse? And I'll tell you in advance that if you choose to divorce her she will make it very hard and painful. Let her sink herself. Scorpios are so adament to "win" that they will destroy themselves trying to take down everyone around them. We are the masters of self distruction.

For now be strong and don't get bogged down into an argument with her, She probably enjoys watching you squirm and fell the "Power" of winning and controlling you. Do what YOU want to do. It's YOUR life only you can make choices for yourself.

should i go and stay with my family twice a week and be with her for 5 days. my problem is that i am a family man and i have an image of a perfect house with wife , kids , grandparents all in the same house and sharing each others problems and being each others strength. Now i have to play 2 roles in 2 houses. if nothing works i am going to run away as i want to try "being lonely" option, which is hard to admit, but i actually enjoyed isolation as it was stress free.

but i am going it give it one more try by fighting it out with her. i actually now beleive that love is blind as i cudnt see this in 6 years of seeing her.
and thanks gingerscorp for the help. u r great. i never knew scorpions can be such good listeners and ironically a scorpion is helping me which i never expected :-).

Just remember no matter what she trys to stand your ground. Be calm, steady and FIRM. Don't let it get too over dramtic or she'll feed off that energy and push harder.
Good luck and stay strong.

Oh... and be there for your kids but don't worry about your "image". We are talking about making your lofe happier and heathlier. A apple can be nice and shiney on the outside and still be rotten on the inside. You don't want that to be your life do you? Work on the inside issue and don't worry about what others think. Eventually the outside will match the inside if you take the actions to make it better. 🙂 Stay strong.

thanks a ton
lets see if i can handle it or she makes me run away someday :-)
just tell me one thing although it varies from person to person that whether this over confidence is just on the outside or is she crazy enough to walk out of it if she is not in control. i mean things like , i can stay alone, i love my peace, i dont want anyone not even my parents to take care of me. sounds funny and childish sometimes.

Thanks

I think this is a very bad match overall... very little understanding, more dominating and control.
As mentioned, scorpio's instinct is to win at all costs. They hardly care if they hurt you - you just have to get over it. I totally understand the exasperation a scorpio can give libra. It really depends if you want and/or need it.

Posted by LibScorp2210
ps: lol u were also born on october 22nd .. u are a cuspie then .. Don't u have some scorpio traits, i.e. intensity, magnetism, possessiveness, intuition, control obsession —

i was actually thinking of this 2 days back but then i thought i dont have these qualities.
for me i dont want to win in every argument, and as mentioned above i would rather not speak in an argument to avoid fight.i have anger but that doesnt get out of my control.i never abused her or her family even if things are really bad and most important i am not a glib manipulator.

i would still like to know more about my zodiac 22/10/1981.

thanks man
i looked it up and i think i have to sign up there to have complete horoscope.
i will do that. and surely will keep u guys posted

I'm going to say in the defense of Scorps is usually there is a reason for this type of action. If she has been treated badly before then she may be "punishing" him for this. She may be very insecure and trying to keep from getting hurt again. It's rare that a Scorp becomes mean and over the top controlling for no reason. I'm not saying she isn't crossing lines and it's all his fault. Another thing is he might have let her get away with this type of behavior for so long and she continues to push him. Scorpio is the sign of extream and until someone lays the smackdown they we will go further and further until we don't even know why WE are acting out. As I said. We WILL sink ourselves before we let anyone else sink us. Like a Scorpion committing suicide.
Do I think she will continue until he runs? Yep. If he lets her. And when and if he doesn run she will tell herself that he wasn't strong enough to stay and place all blame on his shoulders. More then likely this all started out with her testing his boundries and he never stood up to her and told her to stop acting like a control freak. Now that it's come this far it's going to take alot of work to turn her around. Either that or he has to scare the crap outta her by telling her he will leave (And do it for awhile) if she doesn't start treating him with more respect. He has to stand firm and never give an inch to her until she learns that this type of behavior is not acceptable. If he gives her any wiggle room she see it and dig at him until she is back in control.
Look, for all you thinking that all Scorps are like this ... don't. We just have to have an equally strong partner to put us in our place sometimes. We like to jump on that high horse and we will stay there unless we get knocked off. We respect and admire someone that will have the courage to do this. We know we are wrong but if we fool you into thinking we aren't we won't admit it and that adds to the power we think we have over you.

Posted by Gingerscorp
I'm going to say in the defense of Scorps is usually there is a reason for this type of action. If she has been treated badly before then she may be "punishing" him for this. She may be very insecure and trying to keep from getting hurt again. It's rare that a Scorp becomes mean and over the top controlling for no reason. I'm not saying she isn't crossing lines and it's all his fault. Another thing is he might have let her get away with this type of behavior for so long and she continues to push him. Scorpio is the sign of extream and until someone lays the smackdown they we will go further and further until we don't even know why WE are acting out. As I said. We WILL sink ourselves before we let anyone else sink us. Like a Scorpion committing suicide.
Do I think she will continue until he runs? Yep. If he lets her. And when and if he doesn run she will tell herself that he wasn't strong enough to stay and place all blame on his shoulders. More then likely this all started out with her testing his boundries and he never stood up to her and told her to stop acting like a control freak. Now that it's come this far it's going to take alot of work to turn her around. Either that or he has to scare the crap outta her by telling her he will leave (And do it for awhile) if she doesn't start treating him with more respect. He has to stand firm and never give an inch to her until she learns that this type of behavior is not acceptable. If he gives her any wiggle room she see it and dig at him until she is back in control.
Look, for all you thinking that all Scorps are like this ... don't. We just have to have an equally strong partner to put us in our place sometimes. We like to jump on that high horse and we will stay there unless we get knocked off. We respect and admire someone that will have the courage to do this. We know we are wrong but if we fool you into thinking we aren't we won't admit it and that adds to the power we think we have over you.

well said ginger scorp
i know she is not a bad girl but she has been misquided by her parents who are always on the verge of proving that they have a son in her even if they have 2 daughters. This statement has affected her behaviour so much that it has become the sole aim of her life to prove that thing. she is always wanting to do things that wud make her feel manly and make them proud , which diminis

which diminishes her charm as a beautiful looking lady.
i blame the parents more for her this attitude. sometimes a child needs to be slapped and taught in childhood that she is doing a mistake. not that u r the only one and get her used to throwing all unnecessary tantrums.
when i approached her father he agreed that she is wrong but when he spoke to her daughter who ran away from the house he was just trying to be a father on the phone.

i wud like to share one thing here

i have 2 fears in this relationship:

1.) that she will sue me someday because her father is influential and he has threatened about that (maybe to run away from making her understand). i cant tell my this fear to her because then i am f****d because i will fall in her trap everytime and she will use it everytime to get things done her way.
2.) secondly if i try to make her meet my parents to improve relationships then one day she can again abuse them if she disapproves their behaviour. this i have told her but again she has to defend everything what she had said. this means i cant take my children to meet their grandparents because the mother will have a control on the child and she doesnt like the grandparents

these thoughts just came to my mind

How can i deal with these?

Thanks

Ah ha.. I see. I have that too. My father too wanted a son so bad and was badly disappointed that he got me, a daughter instead. All my life I've tried to prove that I could be just as good as a man while still acting like a lady as my mother tried so hard to raise me to be. It's a horrible feeling to know that you aren't up to someones standards especially your parents. But this doesn't excuse her behavior. I understand why she tries to dominate you but it doens't make it right. She goes about it with an iron fist and without considering your feelings. You've done nothing to make her feel she isn't a good person have you? If not then it's her issues to deal with and she should be taking it out on you.

May I ask what it is she thinks she can sue you for? If you've done nothing wrong then she is just threatening you to scare you. Scorps make alot of empty threats to scare someone into line. Until she actually goes through with it treat it as such... just talk no action. I would however be prepared and keep that in the back of your mind. If the time comes get yourself a lawyer and stand up to her.

I wouldn't try to make HER reconcile with your parents. You can't force her and she will resent it if you do and make things worse for you. This is something you should do for you and your children. She isn't going to like it that you do it without her approval BUT it's a good start in showing her she won't always get her way. Even if she forbids you to do it just go right ahead and do as you like. She can't stop you.

When you stand up to her be sure to tell her that you wish that she could be a part of your life and a part of making the decisions. Be honest with her and tell her how you feel. Tell her "If I have to I will do this alone but I'd really like for you , as my wife, to be a part of this". Be calm and never never let it escalate into a shouting match. If she raises her voice just simply say "there is no point in continuing this conversation until you can talk to me like an adult rather then scream at me like a child". Then walk away from her.

Thanks Ginger scorp
i feel as if i am talking to a person who knows my wife inside out.
everything is so true that u r saying.
first of all i am not an MCP that she keeps calling me.easier way out to run from ur responsibilities.i still enjoy being with her but then i see the bitchy side of her and i turn mad.
i cant deny " I still Love her a lot" . u can call it an 8 years attachment or watever. But on the same hand i see my parents getting older which means they have to stay alone now all their remaining lives staying in a house which is lonely at night because we used to live on the first floor.if one goes early "sorry i have to say this" what about the other one?".will he/she stay alone and go crazy. my parents fault was they were overprotective. they used to disapprove of her also but then they have said sorry so many times to her but she never did that when she was wrong. They felt bad. and then one day our bedroom fight which was supposed to stay in our bedroom went out.she still says if i go back to that house i want to live like a tenant in that house and that was the problem. "Control" also i feel i dont want that abusive fight again where my wife calls my mother a B***h and i just stand there to calm my wife down.
when i say she will sue me i mean that In india laws are very girl biased. A guy cant be tortured first of all. only a female can be
a girl complains and without any investigations the accused are just put behind bars and in India influential people get their way out very easily. people here murder people and still roam freely.u stay one day in jail and u loose ur job if u r in govermant service.arent these fears justified. i met a lawyer also after i had nowhere to go but then they also know that we can only help when it reaches the court . what about the harrasment for a person spending a nyt in jail at the age of 60 because their son married someone whom he loved and they went ahead with his decision.

when we used to live with them she had a problem that why we come and sit with them everyday.i used to tell her that what is so wrong in a family having one meal together.i know my parents also made mistakes but they are 2 years old now and she still points them out when she has nothing else to point at. she knows it hurts me when she hurts them.

i told her all this already that i like when she comes with me to meet

please help me fight her out and get her on track . Divorce is the last solution but i want to keep tryin

3dsmaxed,you're a man right then fight like a man.This woman, you called wife is acting like she is your God! Give her a talk and if she is about to shut your up, shut her up first! If she screams at you, screams at her too and louder till she shut up! When she is shocked and stared at you, just calmly shit her down and ask her again " now the screaming match is over, shall we talk like two civilised people?"

Stand up to her .Otherwise, she'll have no respect for you.You won't be lonely if you leave her.Trust me.Tell yourself that you deserve much more better than that.She obviously the one who can't leave by herself.That's why she use all these empty threats to keep you under her CLAWS (what a nasty woman I dare say!).Next time, if she tells you she can live alone, by herself, that she is strong or whatever bullshit that she tries to pull in order to boost her self esteem.Ask her why she tries to keep you then? Why she is married to you? Does she know what is partnership? Everyone is strong in their own way but noone can walk alone in society.Especially in marriage, it's about cooperation , compromises and sharing.Kick her down her high horse and wake her up from her delusion.I'm sorry to say but you seem to be her last saviour! LOL! 😛

thanks exam
i think its more of personality and ego issue with her than zodiac influence.

Um I wouldn't scream at her. It'll just feed her energy and ego knowing she's got him riled up.
3dsmaxed... I see that you said your parents have done wrong too and have been over protective. It's clearer now to what her problem is towards your parents. They have hurt her and she feels as though you have done nothing to stand up for her. She expects this as her husband. She wants a man that will defend her.
My dad was a Libra and my mother was a Scorp. They divorced because his parents we always saying nasty things about her and dad never stood up to them in her behalf. She resented him ALOT for it.
You should tell her that you were wrong to let them do this to her and tell her you want to make things right again. You also can not let your parents be nasty towards her. Set them all down and let them talk it out. She is holding a grudge and she is taking it out on you. She'll continue to hold a grudge until she feels she has been apologized to. But you have to be careful about how far you go with her. She'll continue to punish you and your parents if you allow her to. You have to talk to her alot and ask her about her feelings. Get her to open up.

she feels hurt because even if somebody cares about her she feels that why are they asking too much about her health, ur office. the issues were weird if i recall them now and very normal in a household and the best part was they kept changing. She says she is not social but then she is always worried about whats happening in the life of her relatives her family and everyone else. its good to be in touch but on one side u want ur husband to be just with u and detach him from his family and on other hand u are perpetually on calls telling everyone about what u do in ur house morning to evening so that they have suggestions for you how other people live their lives and then she tries to implement them in our lives.she is always comparing lives with other couples and just takes the points that benefit her.
ginger scorp i am not trying to defend myself here but i feel she doesnt like to be in control but wants to control others.
and as far as nasty things are concerned u cant even imagine what she says when she is angry. man i still get shocked when i recall those things that how cud i hear those things. i have stood up to he much thats why she became very stubborn because she knew that like other things this will also get done this way.
its very hard for her to admit sorry when she is wrong . that is the main problem.

Scorpio and Libra connections are so crazy, obsessive and pathetic! Gotta luv it!!