Libra man, cannot handle Scorpio woman's emotions?

I am a Scorpio woman having an affair with a Libra man . His wife is seriously disabled. It started because he seemed to need me so much. That was ten years ago. In all of this time I never put any demands on him, accepted that our time was limited because we are both professional people by day who have commitments in our personal lives. He gradually fell in love with me, and my love responded to the love in him. The sex was awesome. We had little time together once per week but when we were together, we were very happpy , lighthearted and deeply in love. Our relationship gave us both the strength to face our lives apart from one another.

What went wrong? I developed a crisis in my life of the most serious nature. The last time I saw my Libra man, after we made love, I broke down sobbing. I felt that I could not tell him. He said, "We will talk about this next week" in a manly, firm way as if "this conversation in which you get to tell me what's wrong IS going to happen next week." I was relieved.

So then I started cleaning my house, fixing it up, setting the stage for our conversation, making the atmosphere right, with clean house, fresh flowers, ...

Then on the morning that he has always come for over 10 years, he didn't come.
I was devastated.I needed him so- He called 30 minutes late to say, "I've had an emergency".... He followed this up with "I didn't want to leave you hanging, I just now have been able to call." My reaction was one of the deepest hurt. I felt as if I had been stabbed... He said, "I really wanted to be there with you" ... as if this had shifted back to his need for me because of his disabled wife, as if my problem , my need for him, had been forgotten... so I said cruelly, "Oh, what goes on here between us doesn't matter" and he panicked, I could hear the panic in his voice, the fear that he was losing me, he said, "It matters to me" . I said, "well, not to me" and I hung up.

I then put him on block sender, & deleted his phone #'s. I sobbed for days... why can't he ever be here for me? Is it always going to be that I have to be alone when I hurt while he takes care of a sick wife and works his job, which I do understand- he had told me that he loves me, cannot face life without me, that he lives to be with me, that he wants me forever.... BUT... he doesn't seem to be here for me when I hurt. Am I not giving him a chance or do all Libra men avoid the strong emotional stuff especially from strong Scorpio women?

Ok......based on what you said he did not abandon you. Something came up and he called to tell you, apologized for calling late and suggested he would rather be there with you than doing what he was doing.

You can't ever say for sure, but these things point to him telling the truth here and not being able to meet you. If, if he was avoiding you the way you reacted is going to affirm his will of avoidence. If you want to have that conversation with him you need to articulate that you acted out of character, your emotions got the best of you and your sorry.

For everyone who jumps in to point out the obvious distaste for the situation..I know, i don't care. Advice is advice.

Why would you over react like that?

* why can't he ever be here for me?

because he is married to someone else.

* Is it always going to be that I have to be alone when I hurt while he takes care of a sick wife and works his job, which I do understand- he had told me that he loves me, cannot face life without me, that he lives to be with me, that he wants me forever.... BUT... he doesn't seem to be here for me when I hurt.

You are his distraction from the seriousness of his life. You are more a fantasy he can escape into than a real person.

***I then put him on block sender, & deleted his phone #'s. I sobbed for days... why can't he ever be here for me? Is it always going to be that I have to be alone when I hurt while he takes care of a sick wife and works his job, which I do understand- he had told me that he loves me, cannot face life without me, that he lives to be with me, that he wants me forever.... BUT... he doesn't seem to be here for me when I hurt. Am I not giving him a chance or do all Libra men avoid the strong emotional stuff especially from strong Scorpio women?***

10 years? You have been going through this for 10 years— Clearly you accepted the circumstances. He is'nt leaving his wife, and he is one person and can't be there for the both of you at the same time. You have accepted this circumstance, which is very sad. Being a scorpio, it is hard for me to believe you are willing to be "the other woman" this has never been an option for me or any other female Scorp I have known. Wow!!! Take it as it is or leave it. Being a Libra he is never going to leave his disabled wife. Out of commitment he will stand by her.

Can ANY man figure out ANY woman's emotions—

Can ANY man figure out ANY woman's emotions—

I'm the Scorpio woman who wrote this original post. I do not consider myself "the other woman." Nor does the man think of me as a "fantasy." . He is married to keep her on his insurance policy. I am a professional woman, I have my own insurance. I have no need, nonewhatsoever, to be a wife. So there is not a reason for this man to divorce the wife just to marry me. The only thing that would be accomplished is that she ends up without insurance, therefore the State has to support her. Why is this a good idea when this Libra man has to pay hundreds per month for this insurance policy, with or without the disabled wife on it?

I am not the "other woman", I did not have "inappropriate emotions" for which I should apologize. I needed his support, he wasn't there for me because Libra men just aren't there for the tough times emotionally. Yes, they will stick with their responsibilities, pay the insurance policy, keep gas in the car, be there to pick the kids up from daycare, but if you're in a crisis, and really need someone to help you emotionally, look somewhere other than a Libra man.

I have learned that everything is life is a trade-off and that goes for relationships. The same person who will get up every day, go to work to buy insurance for a disabled wife he no longer loves is not the same man who can handle the strong emotions of the woman he does love. Just like the guy who is a great dancer and lots of fun to be with might not be a good provider. Or the woman who is a great cook and excellent mother might not be a housekeeper or might not be a sex cat.

We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Finding someone to share your life with is partly about figuring out what you must have in order to be happy and what areas you can cut some slack in..... Nobody gets everything in one person. That's just the way it is.

P.S.

I have told this Libra male to "hit the road", "go back to your wife if she means that much to you" , .... repeatedly he begs me to take him back. I do love this man. But I also realize that for a Scorpio woman with a Libra male , my cup is not full.... and I also realize that it won't be with any man. If I want my cup to be full, which I do, then I've got to have different people .... several...
I need a lot, I give a lot in return. Libras just do not have much to give emotionally. They are honest , steady, non emotional, gentle, accepting, non demanding.... they are the cogs in the wheel that keep everyday life running smoothly... but they are not the warriors, Scorpios are. Just as Sagitarrians are the clowns. This Libra man is a good sort.... as I suppose all Libras are....
he just isn't emotionally strong, not like a Scorpio anyway. I sometimes think that if a wild tiger were coming after us, I'd be the one to fight it off , but the Libra man would make sure that the remains were properly disposed of and the hunting permit paid.

I'm the Scorpio woman who wrote this original post. I do not consider myself "the other woman."

Delusional thoughts.

I agree with possom. If she is the woman he loves, and a scorpio would know if she is loved or not, then she's the number one woman in this man's life. If some man keeps another woman on his insurance policy, so what? If a Scorpio woman sez "this man loves me" then the man loves her, period. Ain't no way jose a scorpio is delusional when it comes to being loved. I have carefully read these posts. possom is right: the libra man just did not help her with this crisis whatever it was. I don't think possom was asking for asking just venting. She as a scorpio female would know that this libra man loves her but he's not strong in a crisis. And she would also know that nobody on this board would have better advice than she could give herself. She was just venting. When she said "why isn't this man ever there for me emotionally?" that was when she had not accepted that a libra man just cannot equal up to a scorpio woman in the emotional arena. Very few men can. There is no way that this woman is either delustional or asking for advice. She's number one with this man. No doubt in my mind. The wife is just history hanging on by a piece of paper, not a marriage licence, an insurance policy. This scorpio woman knows that love is about sex and emotions. It ain't about no marriage license nor an insurance policy because some man feels sorry for you. Snappy has spoken.

although I dont at all agree with this situation I do believe this quotation which has been shown time and time again on this board:.

"Yes, they will stick with their responsibilities, pay the insurance policy, keep gas in the car, be there to pick the kids up from daycare, but if you're in a crisis, and really need someone to help you emotionally, look somewhere other than a Libra man"


They make wonderful friends, as long as you're not emotionally involved 🙂

LMAO Atom, we're not that complicated

Let me get this straight. Are we to believe that a scorpio female felt insulted by ANY man, libra or no, and this man is still alive? Wow. Now that's one for the books, I do say. lol Or maybe this one scorp is moving in for the slow kill? Nah. If she were going to roast him alive, she'd pick a more worthy opponent that a Libra, right fellows? Oh about the "other woman" stuff? Does anybody really care ? I see no mention of children so I assume they're grown or don't exist in this triage. A "seriously disabled wife" is no competition for a Scorpio woman, but then I cannot imagine any woman who is. I'll bet this Libra man got his butt spanked a few times. Probably what he kept going back for, what else could it be?

"Take what you want and leave the rest". That's my motto with any man. If you don't have children or don't want children and if possom can pay her own bills then she shouldn't have to get married . She can have this libra man for whatever good he is, that much I don't know. She can find another man for any other need or desire that she might have. Possom doesn't have to worry about "what the rest of the world thinks" as long as she's got her own money. If she isn't bothered by the "wife", then I'm not either. All I care about is whether people who have children support them. That's the point of marriage. No children, then who cares about marriage.

Do we have any indication that the scorpio woman wants to marry this libra man?
She told us that she is a "professional woman." Perhaps she is married to her job? It could be that this scorpio woman would slap the libra man down if the wife dies and then the libra man shows up saying, "I'm free now." People always assume that the woman is jumping to get married if only the man will ask her. That's hardly the case. Note: this is a middled aged woman who wrote under nickname Possom. That's pretty old to be desperate to get married.

This "case" reminds of that Terry Schiavo in Florida, was it? Remember that one?
the woman was in a coma for years, the husband went on with another woman, had kids by her . The husband and the "other woman" seemed to love one another. The wife was in a coma from , was it? diet pills? The husband fought to have the wife unplugged. The "other woman" went to help with the wife's care. The Supreme Court got involved? I don't remember all of the details but it was during an election year. The conservatives fought to keep Terry alive. When someone says "seriously disabled wife" , I thought of this case. I'm a guy. I would hardly consider a woman in a coma for years to be my wife even if she had been a wife at one time. And I would want to find someone else to love. This kind of wife should not keep people apart who love one another and sociey should not condemn.

***I have told this Libra male to "hit the road", "go back to your wife if she means that much to you" , .... repeatedly he begs me to take him back. I do love this man. But I also realize that for a Scorpio woman with a Libra male , my cup is not full.... and I also realize that it won't be with any man. If I want my cup to be full, which I do, then I've got to have different people***

Why would you tell him to hit the road if you have been okay with being his woman on the side for 10 years? Regardless to what reasons he tell you. That is his wife and he cares and probably loves her so she is number one in his life no matter how you slice it. You cannot expect to be number one and primary in his life when actuality you aren't.

***I agree with possom. If she is the woman he loves, and a scorpio would know if she is loved or not, then she's the number one woman in this man's life. If some man keeps another woman on his insurance policy, so what? If a Scorpio woman sez "this man loves me" then the man loves her, period.***

Woah, now we all have heard men loving more than one woman. Hell I have experienced it (in a casual relationship) but Snappy, his loyalty is obviously to the one he is still committed too.

I am shocked to see scorp women agreeing to settle as second. I only accept being the only when in a relationship.

I came in on this discussion because of the scorpio woman part. I am a man in love with a scorpio woman. Interesting to me to see the different takes on her. I don't see her as settling for second best simply because the libra man is legally married. I don't even see that part as having much to do with her struggle. She does not say anything about wanting to be married. Or needing him other than emotionally and he isn't there, has not been there many times for her over ten years. I don't see her saying that he isn't there because he is married. I think she is saying that he isn't there because he's a libra. I don't think this scorpio woman gives a damn about being married. The one I am with doesn't want to be married. And I follow this discussion because I seem to have the same trouble with my woman. She needs something emotionally that I am unable to give. I don't know what the need is but it is an intense one. I feel hopeless too. Is my woman settling for second best because of this intense need for something emotionally? I am a pices. What is this need?

Also, I think that this libra man is married to the disabled woman so she can be on his insurance policy, just like that shiavo case I mentioned, that man kept married to Terry Schiavo so he could make legal descisions for her to keep the wife's family from taking over. I am not reading this that the scorpio woman is "on the side" because of a disabled wife. I am reading this that the scorpio woman is feeling not taken care of because the libra man just isn't up to the job of loving a scorpio woman.

I'm a Scorpio woman. If I met a man with a disabled wife, if this man said to me, "Snappy, I'm married only to keep her on the insurance, but I consider myself free to love again", then if I wanted to be with this man, this disabled wife would not , in my mind, be "another woman." She would be just part of his life that he takes care of that doesn't involve me, as I have my parents that I send money to each month, for example.

Let's say that I have a man and we are discussing our money , how budget would work, I would say, "Lover man, I have this X amount of money that I send to my parents each month and that's the way it is, but I have the rest of it to put into our relationship."

I just don't see someone on your insurance policy as much of a relationship.

I could see a man as free to love again in this situation. And if I ever find myself in this situation, with a severely disabled husband on my insurance policy, I would hope that I too could find love again.

Keeping a spouse on your insurance who is no longer able to be a spouse is not marriage. Legally yes, but let's talk about the humanity of this here. Who wouldn't want to find love again?

Me, taurus female here. I identify with Scorp gals. We're the strong independent type.

Scorpio female , professional? I think she's been to busy with her career to really need this Libra male all that much, she was probably grateful that he had a wife, disabled or not, so that she didn't have to spend time with him. Time for a Scorpio is like a form of strength, they do not waste their time.

This Scorp woman may have taken ten years to be fed up with this Libra man because she was busy developing herself. Then one day a big crisis. She finally notices that this man has not been there for her ever because she really didn't need him all that much.

I notice that the object of our interest, Possum, is not among us. Is she playing possum? lol

She put up a post, disappeared for a year?

Maybe we're here discussing this theoretically without the benefit of more information.

I would agree that this is a difficult situation but seems to me that the world is full of difficult situations re: humans beings and their love. Novels and movies are about these stories.

My man doesn't meet all of my needs. I am grateful for what I get and don't dwell on the rest. I am a Scorp. I gave up thinking that any man would be there for me in the hard times. That's just the way it is.

I personally have never met a man that was "Too Emotional"...At least they dont show it like women.

I am a man. I take care of my Scorpio woman. I would die for her if needed.

What more can a man do than take care of his woman, be faithful, pay the bills, and be willling to die for her?

If my woman becomes seriously disabled, if she were on my insurance policy,
I would keep her there.

But I would also feel ready for another love.

To be asked to be faithful to a body that can barely breathe or eat on its own is cruel and very selfish.

I don't blame this libra guy for loving this scorpio woman. I don't blame him for keeping the disabled wife on the insurance. Nor do I blame the scorpio woman for needing more than the libra can give emotionally.

Maybe as a society we're asking too much for one person to meet all of our needs?

How the heck does one stay married only for the insurance portion of this? I mean there is such thing as alimony, divorce settlement papers that could include the medical care of ones spouse and...like he would really leave her hanging just because he divorced and dated someone "legally". That sounds like such a cop out to bring in insurance issues and a wife. Of course there is that binding statement of, "For better or for worse."
There is that.
Like it or not however "independent" financially you are...apparently not so emotionally.
it's your cradle.

I so feel you moonmadness...!

I think you might stay married to someone so that you can make legal decisions for them? If you divorce them, then you are no longer able to help them in any way.

I once knew a woman who got married in a rush to get on this man's insurance policy so she could get an operation. (this was a long time ago) ... then he offers her a grand per month to stay married. She finishes college and becomes quite an advocate for him when he comes down with a health issue and needs someone strong to fight for him.

Marriage isn't just about lovely dovey sex mortgage and the kids. Sometimes it's about friendship.

Oh, while I'm at it, I know of a couple of cases where people got divorced because of tax reasons or something like, one spouse got into trouble financially, they divorced but kept right on living together. In one case, these were old people, they are now dead, buried together as "husband and wife" but in reality they got a divorce over a lawsuit on the husband.

I just view marriage as a promise to god. That's just my opinion, so if we are married forget all that crap about why you are staying. Marriage is not just legal, per the bible!!

Anytime someone brings up their religion it's time for me to go. That's pretty much the end of the discussion. We are all entitled to our own beliefs in that department. Just like when someone says "the way sex should be done is like this: "

Excuse me, but we are all unique. I think sex and religion are both very private matters. Those are MY beliefs.

I see this situation of possom / libra husband / seriously disabled wife as , well, sad on one hand, but on the other hand, these people all had one another in some way for ten years.... the husband did what he could for the wife but he wasn't without at least some love from possom.... possom got something from the libra man otherwise she would not have put up with him for ten years....

Nobody in this situation gets all..... the disabled wife is probably disabled through no fault of her own. God should have been looking out for her... But I can use my religion to say that god did bring the scorpio possom and the libra husband together for a reason...

Maybe the scorpio "other woman" gave the libra husband enough love so that he could hold up under the strain of a disabled wife.... and maybe the disabled woman had a better man because he was loved by this "other woman" , this "other woman" may have made it possible for the husband to bear the weight of taking care of the disabled wife.

Maybe the fact that possom didn't demand marriage made it possible for the libra husband to have love with one woman and responsibility toward another.

And maybe possom got enough love from the libra man so that she was able to grow in her profession.

And maybe god made all of this happen for three people.

I just don't think "marriage" is as narrow as "you made your bed so now you have to lie in it because you've got a cross to bear" ....

Possom got love for ten years and she gave it for ten years which made it possible for this libra husband to keep taking care of a disabled wife.

And god was watching. God has not struck down scorpio possom or libra husband. The disabled wife got that way before possom got into the picture.

I say God wanted all of these people to stay together and love one another 'til death do you part.

Possom, you listening? you reading all of this? you're a good woman. Take that libra man back. He's damn lucky to have you. And don't you cry anymore because he isn't there for you emotionally when you have a crisis. At least you're not disabled ! Love that man

HOORAY , SNAPPY.

I hope that when I need a friend, someone like you is there for me.

And to possom I say this: You love that guy? Then see your cup as half full not half empty. He does not have an easy row to hoe. He needs you probably as much as that disabled wife needs him. Come on, Girl, You're a SCORPIO. You can take it.

STAND WITH YOUR MAN AS HE STANDS BY THIS DISABLED WIFE

you three need one another, sounds like a little family to me, made in God's image. You three people can stand before any god and be blessed !

Marriage is a social contract designed by primitive men to keep their wife's at home from fooling around and avoid neighbors from stealing her. During those days most men had more than one wife so chances were more that each or few wife's will start banging another man. They just introduced the God factor into this to keep people scared. They introduced the "love" word on an effort to add further meaning into so called associations. Slowly with time, everything backfired. Now we live in a moronic society where we make laws to justify every bs we cant help doing.

Wow wow , marriage is something good but like you said thelibran , men abused it..

seems to me that the purpose of marriage is to make sure that the two people who beget children are forced to stay together and support them, but obviously it isn't working well. Why should society care whether two grown people are in love? Why should society care whether two grown people are having sex? it can be love without sex, sex without love, both together, or a marriage where two people neither love one another nor are they having sex, they are married to get one person on the other's insurance policy, or they just want to live together to cut down expenses, share the rest, but they don't want their families to get upset so they get married, or when I was in college, back during the Viet Nam war, people got married to keep someone from going to Viet Nam (that trick doesn't work now because we don't have the draft) ... but I mean, really, how can anyone respect this thing called marriage? If two people love another, they love one another... that's it... and it's none of society's business. Why should I care whether people love one another ? Why should I care if they're having sex or not? I do care if people start funking and bring a child into this world, they had better be ready willing and able to support a child. If you are not going to support a child, then use "protection." Do us all a favor, stop having babies and expecting welfare to support them.

Reason why I dont ever want to marry. It's useless IMO.

Oh please. Bible. The Christian-Judeos did not write the book on marriage. It existed LONG before either religion was ever conceived.

Personally, I agree with you Snappy. I think people need to get over their own genetalia.

It sounds like they only hooked up once in awhile and the relationship was never very serious. (To me.) Plus, just own the fact that you are in the situation that you are in. It is okay to be in an open relationship. It is okay that their are three of you. Own it. Her denial about the wife's existence sounds weird to me.

*go back to your wife if she means that much to you" , .

I don't think this woman is very honest about what she wants cause of the above statement. I think she wants to possess him. And we seriously don't know how disabled disabled is.

BTW I don't think being professional means you don't need a man. I think everyone needs everyone else. Let's just all get over it. Men need women, women need men. There is nothing wrong with needing a partner. It is a VERY human need.

It is also why I don't get all the uproar over gay marriage. Who cares?!?! Let gay people celebrate their love and committment. It is a beautiful thing.

* Marriage is a social contract designed by primitive men to keep their wife's at home from fooling around and avoid neighbors from stealing her.

What makes you think that is was a man's idea?

BTW although poligamy was acceptable in many parts of the world (thinking Egypt here) most people were happy with just one partner.

I have followed this discussion. I have something to add which I feel is of utmost importance. Anyone who thinks that you can divorce someone who is on your insurance policy and then they just go out and get other insurance, sorry. NOT TRUE> Once you get a serious illness you become damn near uninsurable. The list of illnesses is hundreds long, from cancer to diabetes to multiple sclerosis to polio to ..... OK... let's say that you're married and one of you has a good job and the whole family gets on that one insurance policy and then one of you gets sick. You're in trouble. You get a divorce or lose the job, the sick person is uninsurable. Then what? well, there's , uh, Mediciad? .... People all over this country are staying with jobs they don't want because of insurance, families are losing their homes because one spouse got sick, without insurance, they couldn't pay medical bills, ... this country is full of people who are married to keep one spouse on an insurance policy. What this woman nickname possom describes here with this libra man who has a sick wife, this is a very common situation. The libra man wants to take care of the wife, but he also loves possom. And possom wants to love the libra man. Should the husband dump the disabled wife onto welfare? Medicaid. Then guess who pays? the rest of us. Taxpayers. So before you "holier than thou" people get on your judgemental horse, are you willing to pay for the care of this disabled woman? I don't think so. Let the insurance company that the husband pays for , let that company pay the bills for this disabled woman. And let this libra man and scorpio woman love one another.

((What makes you think that is was a man's idea?))

It was always men who made major mistakes all throughout history. Women were not allowed to do much things. Especially thinking.

Possom settling for less? Some of "y'all" keep thinking that possom wants marriage just because she loves this man. I am not so sure of that one. Has anyone considered that possom got involved with this man in the first place because she just loved her life as a single professional woman and didn't want some old boy piled up in her space?

As for "y'all" thinking that the disabled woman is in a coma. Shoot. I never thought that. What if she's paralyzed ? What if she has Parkinson's? What if she has althzheimer's ? I mean, there are hundreds of ways to be disabled so that there is no longer husband/wife loving going on. I just read the words "seriously disabled" and I took possom's word for it.

and there's this message from starfish: you want something to be right , start it off right. Oh come on. This libra man may have married this woman when they were 18. Life has a way of changing all of us. Let's imagine that it "started off right" but something went wrong. And so Libra man finds comfort with Scorpio woman. Fine so far. But then Scorpio woman has a series of major problems she calls "crisis" ... Libra man not there for her. Scorpio woman "starts off right" in that she didn't need Libra man . But then things change for her too. Things change for the Libra man in that his wife becomes disabled. Disabled wife cannot have sex. Things change for Scorpio woman in that she has crisis. Libran man cannot be there for Scorpio woman. I don't think this disabled wife is why Libra man wasn't there for Scorpio woman. I think the reason is that it's cuz he's a LIBRA. And she's a SCORPIO. I mean, she might have been plotting to kill her opponent in biz or have a tripple facelift or something drastic, Scorpios are known for their extremes, and this freaked out Libran man. Libras are known for their seeking harmony, the balance, avoiding conflict. Shit , that disalbed wife ain't the problem here folks .