Libra man Cancer girl - need advice!!

Ok, Im new to here and have to say that all the posts that I have read have offered great insight. I want to share my story and ask for your opinions out there as I am extremley confused!

Like many people I met my Libra and the first 6 months were amazing, really full on, filled with passion. I found my libra to be very possessive ((I found this endearing) and we ended moving in after 3 months together.

Everything seemed to be going really well, and then i noticed that the passion was fading and my Libra loved to do nothing on an evening. I have also found him extremeley relaxed and not in tune with my emotions. We started fighting alot because I wasnt getting the attention I needed and the passion was no longer present.

The libra kepyt ending the relationship buyt just as I was about to go would say that he wanted to work on things so i always ended up staying as i do love him very much and never wanted it to end.

Recently he told me that he didnt want to be with me anymore and that he had thought about it long and hard (another trait that I have read about). he seemed a lot more serious. I said it wasnt what i wasnted but he said he didnt want any relationship and that just wants me as a friend and would be gutted to lose me as that. He reinforced that whatever i did or did not say would not change his mind.

I accepted this and its been a week since this happened. Since then i found that we have been getting on great but he keeps dropping hints about plans for next year (which I find confusing). We have slept together once and last night I ended up massaging him and he ended up cuddling me on the couch and kissing me.

I wonder after he has made his mind up will it change back as i find these things very confusing. I keep finding noteshes left me evry day where he promises to give me back rubs that night and I wonder if you could do this with someone you no longer wanted to be with. Could these scales be swinging back??

God these guys are confusing!!!

Also I have been with this man for 3 years and there is an age difference as i know others that have asked this question. i am 25 and he is 36.

Hey sagiluv!

Thanks for the reply and your advice does make sense. I find that the age difference has not been an issue (as I am a homebody anyway) so we tend to have similar interested. Our main arguments focused on the lack of attention i recieved (prob something to do with the crab in me).

Im confused as for the time being will still have to live together till i figure out where i can move too. One min hes telling me he doesnt want a relationship but then his actions are holding me, massaging me, (still sleeping together) the first time that happened he told me ha never wanted to have that physical side with me again and now he does it readily. We are still sleeping in seperate rooms.

I understand that from reading these forums that I didnt give him the space and was demanding of his time. The constant arguments havent helped. Since the breakup< i have tried to step away and have focused on improving myself, I always look good when he comes home rather than loitering in my pj's. The house is potless whereas before I had little interest as i felt he wasnt giving back and I listen to him about hgis day (alot more than i used to) He tends to be a bit of a work aholic - which used to offend me so I havent stopped him from doing his overtime.

My question is that even though he has said that it is over - does that mean it is - and if it is what is the attention about?? No children between us - but 2 manic dogs!! I was willing to have children before my time so that he could be a dad now.

I am def taking your advice on board and now trying to give the attention that he has been lacking and every now and again catch him smiling away. i find this situation sooo difficult as dont know where I stand!

Glad to hear that you have a good relationship - I can imagine that you are both quite a powerful duo!

Thanks Sagiluv!

Feeling a lot more confident about things.... gues I was more confused as he had ended it so many times before and this time it seemed a lot more serious. I read that once the mind has been made up they dont usually change which worried me. Seeing how he has been acting recently gives me more hope I guess...

I told him that i found the break up hard and he said that he would never come back and if I felt that way i should move to my mothers. The next day when im cosying up to him hes fine (and also aware of my feelings) which leads me to believe of he was that against coming back - wouldnt this all be kept very polite? No idea!!

Love the idea about the cookies!! I have recently taken up cookery (as have just recently lost my job) so have been keeping busy, which has kept his interest. Also heard that libras like pretty things so have also taken up canvass painting (although it is terrible!).

I think I hoped that if I show the side of me which hasbeen absent for so long by giving his time - he may come round. If not i am preparing myself to walk away. I noticed yesterday that he came back from work early as had visited a site close to home, when he walked in, I was tidying up, and listened to his day at work. When I went to go into the lounge he got frustrated that i was not devoting my time to him - so agreed to sit with him and talk thorugh what was happening. Afterwards I gave him some time as I prepared tea to let him gather his thoughts.

Must admit i do find it hard as i long for affection whereas he seems quite happy not to be outwardly toward that. he also spends a great deal of time asleep which I find frustrating! (as well as the short term memorey - but thats another story)!

i think you are right when you say that they wont talk but rather "show their feelings. Usually we drift back into the relationship without a word. The only problem is - is that he told me when we ended (even though he had been looking at honeymoons a few weeks earlier) that he never will marry me and im not right for him. I wonder if we do get back - how I could ever raise this, without him withdrawing? As i cant be with someone that he can keep on a string with no commitment.

it def sounds like you have more of a grasp of what being with a libra means and can attend to his independant side as qwell as being fun loving as well!

Sorry for ramblimg - just wish I had all the answers - but def taking your advice on board and will s

* start to become more focused on giving attention than demanding it from him - as that obviously isnt working!! Thank you

I do not know why should libra go after cancers and cancers go after libras ?did you know about horoscope and libra cancer compatibility only after being together.i am cancer but i did not go after libras though i always happen to be falling for them.

Next time find nice pisces or capricorn .but again no scorpios.scorpios are rotten inside.

Hi LoveLibra!

Thanks for the message. I had no idea about compatibility, was looking for fun and found that the posts were spot on!

Hmmmmm ...... not sure about the pices or capricorn.....

I dated a capricorn briefly who I was totally besotted with but thought he was a bit nuts. Ended up watching him as he kissed another girl in front of me, hit on my best friend and then had a go at me for not introducing him to my parents! Hope this is not representative of the sign.

The picses was great at the start, but was really tight and I ended being blackmailed by him so that ended nastily!

The only scorpio I know is my best friends fella, who is awful. Always has pics of other women on his phone, is incredibly stubborn and throws her out of his house for accidently spilling tea on his wooden floor!

Sounds like I am a complete man hater but im really not!

Funnily enough the star sign that I have had the best relationships with is sagitarrius. My first love and ex fiancee was a sag and my best female friends are also sag's.

Whats everyone elses experiences?

No real updates on my end. Still living with the libra and acting as if we are together but he states that we are not. He s going to see his parents in dec so will be away for a week, so am considering moving out then. Kinda figure that if it will work, then we will trry and still see each other after im not living here. If not then I have my answer!

Yeah, move out....grow a backbone/spine girl! I mean don't let him just have his way with you, you have to be more fiesty than that Surely you have standards and your own expectations? So why is he making all the rules? That is ridiculous! You're just a convenience at this point, is that what your eally want? Move out!

Thanks for the message - am starting to grow a backbone as everything is on his terms.

Update:-

Hes been plodding along still as if everything is back to normal and has moved back in to the bedroom, sharing my bed. I joked about me going on other dates and he said that we were still broken up and even though we have gotten along great to not get any ideas.

This made me really angry (as if he didnt want me to get that idea - he wouldnt be doing the coupley things he has done). Ended up in a massive fight, where I told him that just showing me attention isnt enough for me to want him back as i respect myself more than that. Unleashed some home truths in reagrds to the way he broke up with me and that he has handled the whole situation disgustingly.

He explained that he just doesnt want a relationship (this suprises me as he is coming up to 36 and thought that he would think about settling down). Asked him what he wanted from a relationship or what his idea of a relationship is and he replied he didnt know. I said how could he expect things ever to work if he didnt know what he wanted? He said that the things he thought were great one day were the things he hated the next. I wonder if he has bi-polar as his dad suffers from it...

I cant help but start to hate him. I feel that I always had to be this perfect person and when I didnt hit his high targets (which changed on a daily basis) then he ended it with me. I told him that I wanted to get married and have a family and that I knew what I wanted in a relationship and the qualities that I want. He then started to try and match what i wanted to the person he is (which I thought was pointless - as the biggest thing I need is security which he rips away from me on a monthly basis). We ended up in a debate about what we want from our lives, in which he stopped talking uand siad that he didnt want to think about these things and was happy to bury his head in the sand.

Sorry to rant but am so angry about the whole situation. He still wont tell me the reasons why he ended it with me which I need for closure. He says that he knew it felt wrong but didnt know why. I told him that it seemed that things were great and as soon as it wasnt so good he ended. I would have had more respect for him to take the time away to realise if what he was worried about was enough to break up. He explained that he has tunnell vision, that he would never look at the problem but just saw ending the relationship as the

only solution. But as he knows now that I could allow him his space he could do that now. I felt that I said the things I needed to say and tried not to enforce the situation. I find things hard to understand as if we get on great wouldnt that tell him something? He obviously hasnt let go fully as he wont stop kissing and cuddling. The thing that makes me angry is the constant to ing and froing. One day he told me that we have are sleeping in seperate beds and I was bang out of line for asking him to stay (i only asked him to stay cos I was suffering from flu and couldnt get warm) but it was ok for him to sleep in my bed when he had a bad back(!) and then since then he hasnt left my room. I really dont feel that he has any consideration for my feelings at all.

I dont understand why he cant give a reason for the break up bar "it just felt wrong". Nothing makes sense to me. I feel sorry for him as well as he doesnt have any friends (well one who isnt a good mate by all accounts) and when I leave he will be alone but have to stop myswelf worrying about him.

I will miss the house as I have lived here for over for 3 years and will be gutted to move back home but part of me is looking forwar to not having to guess about us. He has now told his family that we are through. I hope that I can meet someone else who can offer what I need. I just find the whole situation really sad and with all the effort and time that I had put in to this relationship will help his next one.

Hi Hypnotic,

When you say libra/scorpio etc do you mean their sun and moon sign or do you mean libra dating a scorpio? My libra has an aquarius moon if that makes any sense?

Thanks sagiluv - Im taking all advice on board just hate feeling this confused!!

Hi, this is my birth chart:-

Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Placidus Orb:0
Sun Cancer 12.34 Ascendant Virgo 3.11
Moon Virgo 22.35 II Virgo 22.25
Mercury Cancer 25.25 III Libra 18.17
Venus Cancer 17.39 IV Scorpio 22.39
Mars Scorpio 13.05 V Capricorn 2.25
Jupiter Capricorn 7.29 R VI Aquarius 6.33
Saturn Scorpio 9.46 R VII Pisces 3.11
Uranus Sagittarius 10.19 R VIII Pisces 22.25
Neptune Sagittarius 29.42 R IX Aries 18.17
Pluto Libra 29.20 R Midheaven Taurus 22.39
Lilith Pisces 22.54 XI Cancer 2.25
Asc node Gemini 6.11 XII Leo 6.33

I didnt know his time but the average rating showed that there were a lot of negative aspects with compatability!!

In answer to you his nickname is Mr. Aloof! He flits all the time which is frustrating to the endth degree!! Sagiluv, I would love for him to realise after Im gone that I am the one - but I think his mind is made up and he wont budge - fingers crossed though!!

Thanks Hypnotic!

I would love some insight into whats going on with him. I find the freedom hard to understand< I guess thats because all his friends are settled down and once I am gone he will have nothing to do, but maybe tats what he wants!

I guess if I didnt want to be with someone I wouldnt still hug, kiss, be intimate, share the same bed, plan things.... I would just make it clean cut. That is why i am so confused. On one part when I talk things through he sounds like he wants things to work and the next sec he says he doesnt want a relationship and things "just dont feel right".

I dont know what will happen when i go and I really want what sagiluv says to comne true - that he will misss me when I am not there. I believe what you are saying is right about the emoptions as when things are bad he tends to stick his head in the sand and keep himself busy rather than focusing on the problem.

I just wish he would try and make things work rather than use what he calls "tunnel vision", seeing the end of our relationship as the only possibility when there are really no major problems with us.

No idea what the future holds!

Just saw the added message about being firm. I have started to be more strict when it comes to what I need. The other day I was joking with him and he told m that he didnt care if I was with someone else. He wouldnt like it but would get used to it. he also added that even though we had been getting on great doesnt mean we are back together.

I got really upset and said that i dint appreciate being reminded of the break up and saying about other men is hurtful. I thought he had handled things apallingly and told him why I was upset. He listened and apologised and siad he would do his best npot to hurt me. I was firm in what I was telling him.

I have recently passworded my phone as I didnt want him to see my emails and when I came to borrowing his, nboticed that he had changed his password also. Brought it up with him and siad that obviously he felt hurt enough to change his after finding mine was locked. he then kept questioning why i changed mine... all that I kept thinking was if you didnt care who i dated why would you care about my phone!! This is the sort of little things that make me confused.

I noticed that he is good at manipulating things for his own gain, I do try and bbe compromising though.