Sagg101
@Sagg101
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 277 · Topics: 34
Libra man: Cannot cope much longer. Help?
...don't like the idea of being in a relationship (being a saggy girl ), I love the way things were going with us and I was willing to take the chance with him.
Never got a reply
Drunken phone call last night (oopps) ended up being really emotional and pouring my heart out.
Basically, I don't understand how we went from being so happy together and wanting to spend time with each other to clashing and him telling me he doesn't want to be in a relationship but keeps stringing me along. I'm confused and hurt and close to tears. Close to walking over to his house now and ending it all. A text to a friend read that he was planning on taking things to the next level after V.Day. I just don't know what is going through his mind right now. I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on him and I don't want to lose him. The only guy I've ever been interested in. I can honestly say he has my heart and being a sagg, I'm so scared I'm going to regret this
Never got a reply
Drunken phone call last night (oopps) ended up being really emotional and pouring my heart out.
Basically, I don't understand how we went from being so happy together and wanting to spend time with each other to clashing and him telling me he doesn't want to be in a relationship but keeps stringing me along. I'm confused and hurt and close to tears. Close to walking over to his house now and ending it all. A text to a friend read that he was planning on taking things to the next level after V.Day. I just don't know what is going through his mind right now. I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on him and I don't want to lose him. The only guy I've ever been interested in. I can honestly say he has my heart and being a sagg, I'm so scared I'm going to regret this
I'm upset because I don't know what's going on . I don't know where we stand and I can't understand what I've done wrong that's made him behave this way. I just need some answers but he doesn't seem to want to talk to me right now. I know we need some time and space apart but I just can't get this out of my head.
There's ups and downs in all relationships, that is a normal thing. I don't see anything to really be upset about here.
I think it's the indecisiveness. I feel led on. I was just looking for advice on next steps. I'm in a limbo and I hate this feeling.
Posted by cheekyfaerie
I think with Libra people there can be a level of indecisiveness that puts other signs to shame. He wants you around while he makes up his mind. Even if it might not feel like it sometimes, that's a good thing if you want this to go further.
You also have to know your limitations and do what's right for you. Good luck.
How is that a good thing? 0-o
What if he makes his mind that he doesn't want to be with her, and she's waited around being patient and wasted her time?
Posted by Sagg101
I think it's the indecisiveness. I feel led on. I was just looking for advice on next steps. I'm in a limbo and I hate this feeling.
But you weren't actually in a relationship? If you weren't then move on with your life, but obviously don't close the door on him. You guys are young so maybe he is like you, wasn't expecting to fall for anyone and just wants to enjoy his youth, so now he doesn't know what to do, whereas seems like you have decided your earlier promise to not have a relationship is null and void?
Judging by his behavior, it sounds like he's trying to break up with you gently. From telling you about the ex dreams he has "only" when you're there to saying he doesn't like the idea of a relationship.
Crystal clear.
Walk over to his house and show him how proper breakups are done.
Crystal clear.
Walk over to his house and show him how proper breakups are done.
Posted by tiziani
Funny thing is if you give a Libra a choice between two things, they will always frustrate you by picking the third option. Usually the third option is to do nothing at all.
Lmao! This is so true. I do this often. But in my defense my mom always told me when you don't know what to do, don't do anything because you might make the wrong move. She didn't tell me when to apply the logic so I apply it in everything especially love relationships since those are my hardest relationships to make decisions in. UGH.
OP PLEASE don't wait on this man. He may put on a show that it effects him if you leave and there's a chance that it would but deep down if he's honest with himself at night he know??s he deserved it and he??ll be fine. Plus, believe me when I tell you plain and simple my sign are too good at saying and acting a certain way to charm our partner. People pleasers to the —T??. He told you flat out that he doesn't like the —idea?? of a relationship, what he meant is he didn't like that it was starting to feel like an —actual?? relationship. He's being way too true to his sign. If you read up on the Libra in love it will tell you in bold that Libra??s are in love with the —idea?? of love, we dream of partnership and love all day long, but when it comes down to the actual act of it we are scared, nervous can't make up our minds until it's often too late and the other person is frustrated and confused, we need time, we want time, we want you, then we??re not sure again, and finally we admit we are in love, and if you don't respond EXACTLY the way we thought you would, chances are we??re caught off guard and now we need time to figure out how to react because you didn't react accordingly.
YIKES right? Lol. Yes, that's what your in for if you wait on him. Plus you being a fire sign, who are you kidding missy you don't have the patience for things like this and if you try you will start to resent him. The best thing an impatient fire sign like yourself can do, is back off and go back to your adventurous life before the Libra, he's not going anywhere anyway lol, so just leave him to his puzzle that's all in his head. Better yet be your bold self without being rude. Don't make so much time for him, and get your feelings in check too because this Libra has not made up his mind and he wont know what to do with your feelings anyway until he can face his own. So do you, and keep it light with him. If he throws a tantrum or starts pouting, put your foot down and let him know you are not for the games and life goes on without him.
Don't be afraid to lose him, because if he senses it he will use your weakness for him against you and try to charm you back instead of actually dealing with you. He may even play nice to get you back and then flip right back to his current routine. That's why I say when Libra starts getting indecisive like this I say it's best to leave them alone and head in the opposite direction, get y
YIKES right? Lol. Yes, that's what your in for if you wait on him. Plus you being a fire sign, who are you kidding missy you don't have the patience for things like this and if you try you will start to resent him. The best thing an impatient fire sign like yourself can do, is back off and go back to your adventurous life before the Libra, he's not going anywhere anyway lol, so just leave him to his puzzle that's all in his head. Better yet be your bold self without being rude. Don't make so much time for him, and get your feelings in check too because this Libra has not made up his mind and he wont know what to do with your feelings anyway until he can face his own. So do you, and keep it light with him. If he throws a tantrum or starts pouting, put your foot down and let him know you are not for the games and life goes on without him.
Don't be afraid to lose him, because if he senses it he will use your weakness for him against you and try to charm you back instead of actually dealing with you. He may even play nice to get you back and then flip right back to his current routine. That's why I say when Libra starts getting indecisive like this I say it's best to leave them alone and head in the opposite direction, get y
continued:
get your feelings off the table as fast as possible until Libra can make up their mind, and no one knows when that is so if he's sending mixed signals then bunk him. Crazy part is he may not even realize he's doing it. Lol.
get your feelings off the table as fast as possible until Libra can make up their mind, and no one knows when that is so if he's sending mixed signals then bunk him. Crazy part is he may not even realize he's doing it. Lol.
Just do what he is doing...do nothing
Posted by pinklibraPosted by tiziani
Funny thing is if you give a Libra a choice between two things, they will always frustrate you by picking the third option. Usually the third option is to do nothing at all.
Lmao! This is so true. I do this often. But in my defense my mom always told me when you don't know what to do, don't do anything because you might make the wrong move. She didn't tell me when to apply the logic so I apply it in everything especially love relationships since those are my hardest relationships to make decisions in. UGH.
click to expand
I can see this with libras. I myself have been a victim of this behavior coming from other libras LOL. You would think I would understand, but the fire/water elements in my chart are keeping me in check. I actually can't stand passiveness. I am personally very aggressive when it comes to decisions.I have to know where I stand, why and when 🙂. I hate gray areas
Posted by pinklibra
continued:
get your feelings off the table as fast as possible until Libra can make up their mind, and no one knows when that is so if he's sending mixed signals then bunk him. Crazy part is he may not even realize he's doing it. Lol.
Thank you thank you so much !
Well he contacted me today and things were pretty much back to normal. He brought up the drunk phone call last night and I can admit that I was just being dramatic. I was just scared of losing him but I'm definitely going to take your advice. I've always thought the whole "idea of being in love" thing was true with him but he's said (to other people) things that would make me think otherwise. Turns out he's been speaking to my housemate (AND best friend) about the situation. My housemate didn't tell me much, all he said was it seems as though he is still getting used to the idea of entering a new relationship and we should take it slow. The relationship took off way too fast so I'm just going to calm it down a bit. Like I still want to be able to hang out and stuff, just work on calming the intensity.
You're right this saggy girl HATES exactly that! We talked and joked around. He said me crying on the phone to him wasn't cool (I don't remember crying but w/e) so I really think I should just do me and leave him be for a while
It just seems that every time I try and do that he comes sweeping me off my feet again
But I think things will be alright. We talked it out, said things were cool (he said things had always been cool but it didn't seem that way) and that we should talk soon
I'm just going to continue living my life 🙂 Thanks Pinklibra!
Posted by AesmaPosted by munchkin
Judging by his behavior, it sounds like he's trying to break up with you gently. From telling you about the ex dreams he has "only" when you're there to saying he doesn't like the idea of a relationship.
Crystal clear.
Walk over to his house and show him how proper breakups are done.
Don't know, it's not quite clear if they were actually in a relationship to begin with. They just started hanging out. I think the 'talk' was gonna happen but this is how it ended up before they even reached that point.click to expand
I don't even know exactly where we stood. He always referred to us as "this relationship" , even though we never made it clear. He's introduced me to all his best friends and it pretty much FELT as though we were. Even all his housemates and mine said we were but I just thought it was still early days. A work in progress. Everything is fine now though.
Posted by sole2Posted by Sagg101
I think it's the indecisiveness. I feel led on. I was just looking for advice on next steps. I'm in a limbo and I hate this feeling.
But you weren't actually in a relationship? If you weren't then move on with your life, but obviously don't close the door on him. You guys are young so maybe he is like you, wasn't expecting to fall for anyone and just wants to enjoy his youth, so now he doesn't know what to do, whereas seems like you have decided your earlier promise to not have a relationship is null and void?click to expand
I'd wanted to restrict myself into getting into a relationship unless I felt that the pros outweighed the cons. And with him I think this is true so I was willing to enter one with him. He knew this so yeah I guess that statement is null.
We were in some form of a relationship, nothing to heavy, nothing to serious. I think he's scared at the fact that things are starting to get serious although we both said we'd keep it light. I'm trying but I'm heavily infatuated by him. I'm in an alright place right now after speaking to him today. I think i just go paranoid and freaked out a little (or a lot) lol and I don't know why. Its not like this sag girl to react that way
Posted by Lib911Posted by pinklibraPosted by tiziani
Funny thing is if you give a Libra a choice between two things, they will always frustrate you by picking the third option. Usually the third option is to do nothing at all.
Lmao! This is so true. I do this often. But in my defense my mom always told me when you don't know what to do, don't do anything because you might make the wrong move. She didn't tell me when to apply the logic so I apply it in everything especially love relationships since those are my hardest relationships to make decisions in. UGH.
I can see this with libras. I myself have been a victim of this behavior coming from other libras LOL. You would think I would understand, but the fire/water elements in my chart are keeping me in check. I actually can't stand passiveness. I am personally very aggressive when it comes to decisions.I have to know where I stand, why and when 🙂. I hate gray areasclick to expand
This is why I'm glad Scorpio dominates my chart. I don't do passive anything.
To me it's simple:
You're either in or out. No gray area. And I will tell them exactly where they stand.
Unfortunately people don't take honesty well at times.
After not hearing from a guy I was dating for a while (which made me lose interest), I called him and said, "I date to find a partner, not for the sake of it. And I sense no investment from you, which makes me lose interest, so let's stop wasting our time with each other in hopes a heathy relationship will eventually develop. It doesn't work that way. Good luck! "
He called me back freaking out and begging for another chance, while calling me a "cruel bitch" for just "dumping him so blatantly."
Life would be a lot simpler if people could just be direct, but in practice, people really expect passive aggressiveness.
Posted by munchkin
Judging by his behavior, it sounds like he's trying to break up with you gently. From telling you about the ex dreams he has "only" when you're there to saying he doesn't like the idea of a relationship.
Crystal clear.
Walk over to his house and show him how proper breakups are done.
No we've talked about that and I completely understand. When he told me about them I asked him what this meant for me. He said its because he reflects about his past relationships. He even did a dream analysis ! Turns out he's trying to look at what went wrong/right with his past relationships and trying to avoid that same mistake with me.
Posted by cheekyfaerie
I think with Libra people there can be a level of indecisiveness that puts other signs to shame. He wants you around while he makes up his mind. Even if it might not feel like it sometimes, that's a good thing if you want this to go further.
You also have to know your limitations and do what's right for you. Good luck.
This is true. He's been so indecisive about everything from the day we met, even ordering food!
I don't mind spending time with him whilst he makes up his mind but omg it's frustrating not knowing where I stand, what I should do and if i should just move on and stop wasting my time
Posted by Sagg101Posted by pinklibra
continued:
get your feelings off the table as fast as possible until Libra can make up their mind, and no one knows when that is so if he's sending mixed signals then bunk him. Crazy part is he may not even realize he's doing it. Lol.
Thank you thank you so much !
Well he contacted me today and things were pretty much back to normal. He brought up the drunk phone call last night and I can admit that I was just being dramatic. I was just scared of losing him but I'm definitely going to take your advice. I've always thought the whole "idea of being in love" thing was true with him but he's said (to other people) things that would make me think otherwise. Turns out he's been speaking to my housemate (AND best friend) about the situation. My housemate didn't tell me much, all he said was it seems as though he is still getting used to the idea of entering a new relationship and we should take it slow. The relationship took off way too fast so I'm just going to calm it down a bit. Like I still want to be able to hang out and stuff, just work on calming the intensity.
You're right this saggy girl HATES exactly that! We talked and joked around. He said me crying on the phone to him wasn't cool (I don't remember crying but w/e) so I really think I should just do me and leave him be for a while
It just seems that every time I try and do that he comes sweeping me off my feet again
But I think things will be alright. We talked it out, said things were cool (he said things had always been cool but it didn't seem that way) and that we should talk soon
I'm just going to continue living my life 🙂 Thanks Pinklibra!click to expand
What do you ULTIMATELY want with him?
1. A friend
2. A fuck buddy
3. A temporary relationship so you have someone to do things with
4. A life partner
Pick ONLY one of those. If you are about to answer with ".....and see what happens 🙂", answer with what you secretly and honestly want to ultimately happen.
Your ultimate fantasy, when it comes to him.
Posted by munchkinPosted by Sagg101Posted by pinklibra
continued:
get your feelings off the table as fast as possible until Libra can make up their mind, and no one knows when that is so if he's sending mixed signals then bunk him. Crazy part is he may not even realize he's doing it. Lol.
Thank you thank you so much !
Well he contacted me today and things were pretty much back to normal. He brought up the drunk phone call last night and I can admit that I was just being dramatic. I was just scared of losing him but I'm definitely going to take your advice. I've always thought the whole "idea of being in love" thing was true with him but he's said (to other people) things that would make me think otherwise. Turns out he's been speaking to my housemate (AND best friend) about the situation. My housemate didn't tell me much, all he said was it seems as though he is still getting used to the idea of entering a new relationship and we should take it slow. The relationship took off way too fast so I'm just going to calm it down a bit. Like I still want to be able to hang out and stuff, just work on calming the intensity.
You're right this saggy girl HATES exactly that! We talked and joked around. He said me crying on the phone to him wasn't cool (I don't remember crying but w/e) so I really think I should just do me and leave him be for a while
It just seems that every time I try and do that he comes sweeping me off my feet again
But I think things will be alright. We talked it out, said things were cool (he said things had always been cool but it didn't seem that way) and that we should talk soon
I'm just going to continue living my life 🙂 Thanks Pinklibra!
What do you ULTIMATELY want with him?
1. A friend
2. A fuck buddy
3. A temporary relationship so you have someone to do things with
4. A life partner
Pick ONLY one of those. If you are about to answer with ".....and see what happens 🙂", answer with what you secretly and honestly want to ultimately happen.
Your ultimate fantasy, when it comes to him.click to expand
well damn that question has stopped me right in my tracks but I'm happy you've asked me this:
Well I know for sure that I DON'T want a fuck buddy. He's not that kind of
Well that question stopped me right in my tracks but I'm glad you asked me because I've spent a good time thinking about it
1. Definitely not. He's not that type and I'm coming out of that phase.
2. I don't even know what that is ?
3. I'd say currently. 25% of the case is this. I'm still young and don't know exactly what I want but we've got a lot planned and I do love doing things with him. He just seems like such a perfect partner for this adventurous sag girl. But he also keeps me grounded and we have very intellectual conversations about anything and everything. Never a dull mo ment with him
4. Well isn't this what everyone wants ultimately ? He is definitely life partner material. We've talked about what we both want in the future in terms of family and career etc and he's perfect but i'm still young , it's not something I spend most of my time thinking about.
This is also my very first relationship. I've never had feelings for anyone and this is about as serious as it has ever been in terms of other guys. So I'm scared of getting hurt, scared I might be doing something wrong and I'm just following my heart (this is probably a dumb and niave thing right ? )
1. Definitely not. He's not that type and I'm coming out of that phase.
2. I don't even know what that is ?
3. I'd say currently. 25% of the case is this. I'm still young and don't know exactly what I want but we've got a lot planned and I do love doing things with him. He just seems like such a perfect partner for this adventurous sag girl. But he also keeps me grounded and we have very intellectual conversations about anything and everything. Never a dull mo ment with him
4. Well isn't this what everyone wants ultimately ? He is definitely life partner material. We've talked about what we both want in the future in terms of family and career etc and he's perfect but i'm still young , it's not something I spend most of my time thinking about.
This is also my very first relationship. I've never had feelings for anyone and this is about as serious as it has ever been in terms of other guys. So I'm scared of getting hurt, scared I might be doing something wrong and I'm just following my heart (this is probably a dumb and niave thing right ? )
—he said that things had always been cool??
Umm, yeah to HIM! LOL. See there! I knew it, he doesn't realize his hot-cold behavior is effecting you because he doesn't even realize when he's doing it until you tell him, and even then he will try to justify it depending on how you come at him, if you let him; when really there's no excuse but he will NEVER and I mean NEVER admit that to anyone but himself so don't even try to getting him to confess. You have to SHOW a libra you mean business. You??re a sagg though I have complete faith that if anyone can handle us, it's a Sagg, GEM, or Aries, because in most cases when we get like these signs do just what we need, which is leave us the heck alone.
I even had a Taurus settle me down a bit, he's so solid but what balanced me out surprisingly is his stubbornness. He was moved by my Libra charm but if he felt I was trying to use it to control him, boy oh boy did he flip the scrip and become the most stubborn person ever. My silly ass took his stubbornness as a challenge though. Lol. Anyway, you??ll be fine. Good Luck girlie
Umm, yeah to HIM! LOL. See there! I knew it, he doesn't realize his hot-cold behavior is effecting you because he doesn't even realize when he's doing it until you tell him, and even then he will try to justify it depending on how you come at him, if you let him; when really there's no excuse but he will NEVER and I mean NEVER admit that to anyone but himself so don't even try to getting him to confess. You have to SHOW a libra you mean business. You??re a sagg though I have complete faith that if anyone can handle us, it's a Sagg, GEM, or Aries, because in most cases when we get like these signs do just what we need, which is leave us the heck alone.
I even had a Taurus settle me down a bit, he's so solid but what balanced me out surprisingly is his stubbornness. He was moved by my Libra charm but if he felt I was trying to use it to control him, boy oh boy did he flip the scrip and become the most stubborn person ever. My silly ass took his stubbornness as a challenge though. Lol. Anyway, you??ll be fine. Good Luck girlie
Posted by dejahthoris
Pinklibra, that was one of the best advices on Librans I've read in awhile. This actually applies to my own situation almost perfectly.
Kudos to you!
Thanks! Lol. Glad I could help, guess I know my sign way too well.lol
Posted by pinklibra
—he said that things had always been cool??
Umm, yeah to HIM! LOL. See there! I knew it, he doesn't realize his hot-cold behavior is effecting you because he doesn't even realize when he's doing it until you tell him, and even then he will try to justify it depending on how you come at him, if you let him; when really there's no excuse but he will NEVER and I mean NEVER admit that to anyone but himself so don't even try to getting him to confess. You have to SHOW a libra you mean business. You??re a sagg though I have complete faith that if anyone can handle us, it's a Sagg, GEM, or Aries, because in most cases when we get like these signs do just what we need, which is leave us the heck alone.
I even had a Taurus settle me down a bit, he's so solid but what balanced me out surprisingly is his stubbornness. He was moved by my Libra charm but if he felt I was trying to use it to control him, boy oh boy did he flip the scrip and become the most stubborn person ever. My silly ass took his stubbornness as a challenge though. Lol. Anyway, you??ll be fine. Good Luck girlie
Oh my it really sounds like you know what you're talking about! 🙂 I love it !
I don't really know how I'm supposed to take things slowly with him when I'm just loving being around him so much ! I'm alright with leaving him alone for a while (i think) but right now i think i'm going way over my head. First ever relationship, young and naive.. I don't want to ruin this because he's amazing. Next time I see him I don't think I'll know what to say and I don't want to say anything to scare him away, what should I do ?
I just don't understand. we are SO coupled up, everyone says it and he's the one that initiates things. And then to have him do a 180 is just so confusing to me. Even the text he sent to his best friend about getting serious, what is all that about ?!
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That all changed when I met Mr Libra. He was a friend of a friend. He had these bright blue eyes, absolute charmer. I had no idea why I was so interested in him. The more I hung out at her house, the more I found my self completely and utterly intrigued by him. And with that I just wanted to find out more about him. We started talking during the Christmas holidays and ended up talking on the phone for HOURS at night (had a few 8 hour conversations on the phone, amazing)
Once we both got back from vacation, we started hanging out and seeing each other. We both decided to tread carefully and take things slow but naturally things we flying. I've met his friends, he's met mine, we spent valentines together and all that jazz. It's honestly been the best 2 months of my life.
Only recently have things started to turn very weird. He's tell me about these dreams he has about his ex girlfriends. He said they only occurred when I was in bed next to him. He swore he didn't have feelings for any of them and that he was just reflecting on past relationships because I remind him of the intense feelings he had. I didn't know how to feel about these and so confronted him. Things were okay after that.
SO, in the past week when we've been hanging out, he starts acting really childish and trying to test my patience in the way a child would and trying to get reactions out of me. We went to bed one night and I asked him "why have you been in such a negative mood around me recently". Personally, I think we've been spending too much time so I agreed not to see him for a while but the same night he asked me back to his house to watch some documentaries. I don't understand why he keeps wanting to see me but keeps pressing for more space etc?
We wake up the next morning and the first thing he says is he doesn't like the idea of being in a relationship. First thing I say is "same, i'm probably the biggest commitment phobe around" We didn't speak that day but that night I text him trying to tell him how I feel. I told him that as much as I don