libra needs help with virgo can be harsh..

My ex is a libra we have kids. he wants answer and I dont have any only because i know sometime I can be one sided. I dont wanna be mean and I want to give him good advice. i dont want to be personal. I really wanna help him. we are separated. so his thing i he doesnt know if he should go overseas to korea. or move closer to his kids. He thinks if he goes to korea it wold be best because he feels he could provide more money for the kid. however if he moved closer it would put him in a bad situation with money. I told him the kids need both money and his prescence. He thinks I dont undertand. He says he really needs me to understand.. he says he really does not know what to do. I dont know what to tell him. Iknow whats best for the kids.. but i dont know whats best for him. do I make any sense. I want him to trust me. but its not about us anymore its about whats best for the kids. blah blah.

NO amount of money in the world can replace the presence of being with your child(children). The children are also his responsibility but the almighty $ $ $ $ $ is a poor substitute for not being there physically to teach and guide his children too. If the overseas position is temporary....I don't see the problem. Longer then 6-12 months.....that's just an excuse to bail on you and the kids! good luck. I hope it all works out for all of you whatever your choices are.

thats what I am trying to tell him. how can i say that with out sounding harsh. or onesided

Tell him to do what's fair on the children....his children and to stop acting like a child himself. He's a grown man and needs to make grown up decisions. His children need him to be around as a father, not some blasted meal ticket....children dont need the latest toys, etc, but they do need their father.

Its a no-brainer....harsh and/or one sided? puhleees!!!!! I'd give him "I dont know what to do".....grrrrrrrrr

Then YOU need to do what's best for your kids and let him make his choices. At this point if he chooses NOT to be a part of their lives and pursue another life without them and chooses to only be supportive to his kids financially......you need to have your own plan on how you can make that work for them and do what is best for YOU and your kids with this choice. There is no point to argue about it because in the end.......he is going to do what he wants for himself.

You are the full time parent now and you will be the one that enriches their lives daily. Can money buy that for dear old dad??

I know. I just want them to be happy.. I can only do my part. when he starts showing more effort then i will help him. I jusy feel so sorry for him. Because his mind is so comsumed withthe thought of money. what happens when he doesnt have money anymore? i believe as long as I do my part me and my kids will be rewarded. I will help him . but i will not overcompensate. its his life. this is our life. he left so he has to figure out a way to fit back in.