My Cancer and I have crossed the line...NOW WHAT?!

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pinklibra
@pinklibra
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1095 · Topics: 43
i know this is a libra board...but i need advice...please =)

Okay so my cancer and I have had this amazing friendship/loving/highly-over&beyond interest in one another relationship. We always have the best times together, i consider him one of my bestfriends...however we both know we dont like one another "just" as friends, its wayyyyyyyyy deeper than that and we've both admitted that to one another, when we shared our first kiss at age 13. Since then, we might go wks, or sometimes mths without speaking but we always come back to each other. There's always been a reason on why we could never try a personal one-on-one relationship, it might be the long distance, when we were younger we seperated and went to 2 diff high-schools. He's always stressing how he HATES to be far away from his gf. He just dispises it. But the biggest reason we've never gotten together exclusively is mainly due to his fear of loosing me. He says if he tries a relationship with me he wants it to be perfect. So in all the 10 yrs of us having thiscrazy love-sick/amazing friendship, we've never had sex. But a couple days ago that changed. I haven't heard from him, and i haven't contacted him because im not sure how to react, and knowing him he's prolly scared. We've gotten steamy before or spent time (never having sex b4 this) and he'd go wks or mths without contact, so it's not totally out of the norm for him to go cold turkey 4 a period of time...i just want to know what u all think will happen now?? Im a libra by the way =)
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Nefer
@Nefer
16 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 5 · Posts: 4081 · Topics: 4
Iunno.. he's told you he's afraid to do exactly what you just started doing (ie. getting more serious), afraid it won't be "perfect" and will mess things up.. and now YOU'VE gone "no contact" as you admitted here? (Ouch! to the male ego lol)

Barring him just being a playa and wanting some trim and nothing else (and don't fool yourself - the pussy a guy has to work YEARS to get is a challenge, and he wants what's hard (or at least not EASY!) to get. That's MALES for you!) ..it's probably a combination of that thing guys do where they pull away after the deed.. cuz psycho chicks go nuts right after, and even formerly "chill" girls do too, yuck... and his fears of not "measuring up" to this fantasy that's been building for years. (Are you guys at least close enough geographically to make a go of this? You said that was a concern of his?)

Without other planetary influences to make this guy more "aloof".. his natural Cancer tendency will be to "cling"... Cancers tend to be WAAAAY more emotionally sensitive than a Libra, in a very general sense. Really, you should read more on Cancer guys. He's probably thinking you're gonna rip his heart out now, if you've gone silent and aren't calling him either, esp if that's also strange.

I don't know what to tell you to do, except to be as NORMAL as you've always been with him.. don't let this change the way you behave with him just yet (he's looking for any sign of this fucking it all up!).. because I'm a firm believer in a woman NOT losing her damn mind and chasing after a guy desperately and turning him off, in letting him step up and show you he's interested.. but a lot of Cancer males don't fit that mold... a lot of them are so emotional and sensitive that they won't risk chasing after you.. they aren't like a fiery bold Leo or Aries or even a dive-headfirst-and-see-where-it-goes Libra... a Cancer male might be licking his (perceived) wounds privately, and wondering why YOU'RE suddenly blowing him off. Can't say for sure, since I don't know the guy.
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Nefer
@Nefer
16 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 5 · Posts: 4081 · Topics: 4
Also.. didn't a Sag guy recently break your heart? Your "first love" and all, the guy with a huuuge pull on you? And several weeks ago, you were still all tangled up over him, wishing he'd pull it together and you could get back together?

Well.. maybe your Cancer "bff" you just slept with is being cautious with his heart, esp if he knows about the other guy, esp if he senses you have some unresolved feelings about him. Maybe he thinks he's the "rebound".. and unless you're a playa who just wants sex.. being the rebound guy for a girl you really, really like really, really sucks.
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pinklibra
@pinklibra
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1095 · Topics: 43
lol. Thank You Nefer. Your response was very helpful and i saw you comment on the cancer board as well. But it is true i have had my doubt on if we made a mistake but honestly it was everything i dreamed it would be over the yrs so i dont regret it not one bit. I just hope he doesn't either. I dont want to make him uncomfortable thats y i haven't made any contact. Plus as i stated before, its not completely out of the norm for us to not talk for long periods of time. We've gon wks, or sometimes even mths w/o so much as a text "hello". One day out of the blue he'll hit me up or i'll hit him up we would agree to hook up(nuthin sexual) and hang out we'd end up making out n talkin till the wee hrs of the a.m, then the next day i wouldn't hear from him for another wk or couple mths. When we were younger i used to take it personal, but i've learned that if a man want to come around he will, and you cant force him. Believe i've thought of my cancer in a romantic way and vise-versa loonnng b4 now, but i gave up at 18.(thats a whole nother story) But i cant say if he wanted to try, i would turn him away, i'd pounce like a lion to its prey to be with him. =)