My libra guy of four years has just told me.......

Hi Guys,

Im new - so hello!

Ive been with my guy for nearly 4 years.... last week I recieved a phone call from him (he is abroad at the moment due to work).. the conversation was fairly normal until he said the words i have something to tell you.... he continued to say about a two months into our relationship he slept with his first love.... the old flame became pregnant and is saying that the child she has is his. I am so devastated guys as I did not expect this, I remember the time that he says it happend and he was very very distant at the time but because we grew closer as couple we overcame that horrible time. I just don't know what to do... In a state of shock I changed my number as I just didn't to hear his excuses and I just wanted to block him out. I have never felt this way about anybody before therefore im am totally lost and heartbroken at this time. My guy said when he get back he will come for me and that he doesnt want us to throw away something that is so special...but how can I trust him again? he said that at the begininng of our relationship he was not too sure and now we are stronger than ever so we can work this out... when he gets back what do I do? Im very hurt but i still love him....am I being stupid

He is being honest with you; even though a bit late. Sort it out together and leaving him all alone to sort out the mess. If you consider going on with the relationship, then you need to stick around and help him clean up his mess. He has admitted it than playing around and lying to you more and more. learn to appreciate that.

Thanks guys....The thinhg is he told me that she planning on making a move to England to live (where we live)... it is all messed up at the moment and I feel like crap about it all! I have changed my number as I did not want to speak to him...but its like ive got loads of questions that need answering and in the back of my mind I dont want him to forget about me anf go back to her! Im not in a good place at the moment so if this message sounds awful you know why...

Cant believe he told you over the phone..what a coward.

yeah agreed

I was 22 at the time and he was 27.....I know what all you guys are saying... we were in a relationship and if it was the other way round I dont think he would be so forgiving! Im so hurt and depressed... im trying not to be angry but I can not help it.

1) would he have ever told you about sleeping with her if not for the baby in the picture?
2) were you guys taking a break from dating when it happened?
3) what other surprises does he have?
4) you need time to think about it as it's a huge emotional shake-up but don't you want to find out if he has plans for the future for you two instead of retreating?

''Im so hurt and depressed... im trying not to be angry but I can not help it''

You prob need to allow yourself to feel through the emotions - forget logic or rationalising it for now. You're human - If you don't get it out now, it will be later.

that is true and if you and him decided to continue with your relationship down the track, you will need to have those emotions in check and not throw what has happened in his face continually....that sucks

We wasn't on a break as such but I rememember at the time he was very distant when he returned from America (were she is based)... we didnt see each other for about 3 months... and I didn't sleep with him for about 4! Its just such a crazy situation im in at the moment and I dont know what i have done to deserve this... I just thought at the time give him time he is going through his usual depressed moody stage and to alow him space... we spoke on the phone and that was about it...The thing is I felt strongly about him from the start so it may not have meant something but it did for me. He is not back until the end of September and its like I need to see him and just ask him y the hell did you do this to me? All ive been doing today is reading my bible and praying as I feel so weak within.

Just wanted to say thank you all for replying to my messages

Thanks so much ashleysagstar for your message and kind words, I really appreciate it... I will read it over and over as the words are so inspirational. I keep thinking about the time they shared and you are right it is tearing me apart... I really would love it to work and if it makes us stronger then that would be a bonus but there will be a lot of work...

I just need to work on myself and try and become stong again before I even begin to think about forgiving him and taking him back. Thanks again babe x

Thank you ashleysagstar for your kind words - it means so much to me.

Being a Libran myself, I appreciate Ashleysagstar's messages of inspiration. The core of her message is about forgiving for her own sake. It has nothing to do with accepting or not accepting him.

Its a decision between emotion and logic and it's not an easy one.
I personally would not know what to do either.