LibraSid
@LibraSid
15 Years1,000+ PostsLibra
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4581 · Topics: 75
My Overanalytical Mind... (LONG)
To me, loving another person means that you would give up everything and anything to help, protect, or defend them. You want them to be happy. I love my kids. I would die or kill to protect them. I love my closest friends and would do anything for them. I really like funny jokes but I have NEVER stabbed someone for messing up a punch line. Thankfully it's not usually life or death but you get the idea.
I think like this about everything though. Where bottled water comes from (whose hose), what it will be like when I finally start my business, is Vick the best QB playing today, does the college name matter when you get an MBA? I can sit quietly for hours and think happily about the most random nonsense. Lately though my thoughts have been on more serious deeper issues. The strange thing is that I could ask you all if bottled water is from a hose or someones tap and we could have a normal conversation. But I am uncomfortable saying the things that I have said here.
I wonder also if my being uncomfortable is good or bad. Are we supposed to talk openly about this stuff? Are we never supposed to mention it? Maybe only behind closed doors and only with a certain person? Why should I feel weird asking ANY question?
I am starting to wonder too if maybe I was just with some really fucked up people and that's why I wonder about this stuff. Or, perhaps I am the really fucked up one??_ who knows.
Ok??_ this was a lot longer than I thought it??d be. It sounds a lot more depressing than I feel too. Damn. When I am confused about something it helps to get it all down somewhere so I can review it later. It also allows for thoughts to fully develop because once something is out you can just move on. When I talk or write like this it is unedited (unless I delete the whole thing). I just smoke and think and ramble. I have a friend who emails me back and forth a lot and she loves it when I start rambling about stuff. And the fact that I don't edit heavily. Sometimes I waste words clarifying when changing a few words would have worked. I'mma go home and grab a beer. It's finally 5:00! I??ll check back in on this later.
I know there is no —real question?? here. That's fine. As long as this is I probably wouldn't even have read it all. Haha!
I think like this about everything though. Where bottled water comes from (whose hose), what it will be like when I finally start my business, is Vick the best QB playing today, does the college name matter when you get an MBA? I can sit quietly for hours and think happily about the most random nonsense. Lately though my thoughts have been on more serious deeper issues. The strange thing is that I could ask you all if bottled water is from a hose or someones tap and we could have a normal conversation. But I am uncomfortable saying the things that I have said here.
I wonder also if my being uncomfortable is good or bad. Are we supposed to talk openly about this stuff? Are we never supposed to mention it? Maybe only behind closed doors and only with a certain person? Why should I feel weird asking ANY question?
I am starting to wonder too if maybe I was just with some really fucked up people and that's why I wonder about this stuff. Or, perhaps I am the really fucked up one??_ who knows.
Ok??_ this was a lot longer than I thought it??d be. It sounds a lot more depressing than I feel too. Damn. When I am confused about something it helps to get it all down somewhere so I can review it later. It also allows for thoughts to fully develop because once something is out you can just move on. When I talk or write like this it is unedited (unless I delete the whole thing). I just smoke and think and ramble. I have a friend who emails me back and forth a lot and she loves it when I start rambling about stuff. And the fact that I don't edit heavily. Sometimes I waste words clarifying when changing a few words would have worked. I'mma go home and grab a beer. It's finally 5:00! I??ll check back in on this later.
I know there is no —real question?? here. That's fine. As long as this is I probably wouldn't even have read it all. Haha!
Okay, let's talk. I??ve got my buzz going and haven't touched the beer yet. So I get to thinking and wanted to write this down for later. You know how you get those great ideas that you can't remember the next day? Anyway, I get to thinking about what it is that I really want in a woman. You always hear people talk about what women want or what men want but they never really make it personal. Here's what I want.
I want to date someone for the rest of my life. I want to be married and raise a family, but I still want to treat her like when we were 14 and called each other boyfriend and girlfriend. I want to argue on Thursday that —we?? shouldn't have bought —my?? playstation 8 yet we should have waited til the washer was paid off and all that stupid shit guys and gals will fight about. But on Friday I still want to take her out and impress her with new funny shit and make her love me all over again. I am a romantic and can't help it. Before things fell apart at home here I was planning something for Valentine's Day.
I was going to have her met me at the mall for something generic. She??d be a little upset having to drag the kids to the mall and meet me but she??d come. I was going to enlist strangers, it's V-Day people will help with anything romantic, and have 11 people walk up and tell her Happy Valentines and give her a rose. So While she's trying to drag three kids through the mall, getting more and more frustrated??_ people just start giving her roses. At first she thinks its some random weirdo. Then two? Maybe just a mall promotion or something. Then nine? Where the hell did Benjamin go? Ten Roses, wtf is this about? Megan get over here, where's your father? Eleven? Then the kids see me and yell —DADDY!?? they do every time they see me. Then I have number twelve. Grandmom is there with me to take the kids and play and her and I could go to dinner and talk and watch weird people like we always did. The next morning we can argue about the bills and the kids homework. But tonight I want you. It sounds really dumb when I read it now. But I just picked the wrong one.
But yeah, that's what I want. Is that so far out there? I think it sounds nice.
I want to date someone for the rest of my life. I want to be married and raise a family, but I still want to treat her like when we were 14 and called each other boyfriend and girlfriend. I want to argue on Thursday that —we?? shouldn't have bought —my?? playstation 8 yet we should have waited til the washer was paid off and all that stupid shit guys and gals will fight about. But on Friday I still want to take her out and impress her with new funny shit and make her love me all over again. I am a romantic and can't help it. Before things fell apart at home here I was planning something for Valentine's Day.
I was going to have her met me at the mall for something generic. She??d be a little upset having to drag the kids to the mall and meet me but she??d come. I was going to enlist strangers, it's V-Day people will help with anything romantic, and have 11 people walk up and tell her Happy Valentines and give her a rose. So While she's trying to drag three kids through the mall, getting more and more frustrated??_ people just start giving her roses. At first she thinks its some random weirdo. Then two? Maybe just a mall promotion or something. Then nine? Where the hell did Benjamin go? Ten Roses, wtf is this about? Megan get over here, where's your father? Eleven? Then the kids see me and yell —DADDY!?? they do every time they see me. Then I have number twelve. Grandmom is there with me to take the kids and play and her and I could go to dinner and talk and watch weird people like we always did. The next morning we can argue about the bills and the kids homework. But tonight I want you. It sounds really dumb when I read it now. But I just picked the wrong one.
But yeah, that's what I want. Is that so far out there? I think it sounds nice.
There is a slight difference between 'want' and 'do'. Why haven't you done it? (Valentines Day)
I like your rambling also ...I'm smiling ...and ...trust me on this...every woman would love to read your thoughts (your woman)...this is my question: Why aren't u guys more open? ...maybe bcoz I would cry in front of you and u would be scared of what u see in my eyes?
I'm at work...there r other things which I would like to underline here...but I will come back.
I like your rambling also ...I'm smiling ...and ...trust me on this...every woman would love to read your thoughts (your woman)...this is my question: Why aren't u guys more open? ...maybe bcoz I would cry in front of you and u would be scared of what u see in my eyes?
I'm at work...there r other things which I would like to underline here...but I will come back.
Well I didn't do that V-day thing because things got really bad for us just before that and we aren't together anymore. But I did do other stuff like that throughout the relationship. Definitely not all the time but different things on and off. There was always a barrier in our communication, she didn't want to open up all the way. Rough past I guess. Anyway she never cried until after we broke up. She didn't show her emotions which is part of why I wonder if I should. How can I be more emotional than her, it just seems wrong. It makes you start wondering if you are too soft.
Maybe she knew something about Libra being scared of emotions and she was keeping it cool...I showed myself completely to my Libra guy and he got scared...who the fuck knows which way is better?
I need to read again what u wrote...after a shower...there was something I was eager to ask u.
I need to read again what u wrote...after a shower...there was something I was eager to ask u.
I don't mean to come off as upset, if I was. I am doing okay now. Just thinking about stuff. I have talked all of this through with my best friend and it did help. I think some of it is just having been with someone for so long and them making you think that displaying emotion was weakness. You just start to believe it after a while. I think now I am just looking to see what other people do, think, act, etc. Am I the weirdo or was she, hah. Does that make sense?
* But yeah, that's what I want. Is that so far out there? I think it sounds nice.
I think it sounds nice too Sid. I have often wondered if love is real. Can mutual love exist or can love only exist as longing?
I don't know. I would like to believe it can. I expect there is a huge element of I-love-myself-when-I-am-with-you. There is an expectation that all loneliness and disappointment and sorrow and fear will be taken away by someone else. I really think there is a rescue element at play.
I talk about stuff like that all the time. I just am uncomfortable talking about personal stuff. If you don't talk about weird stuff, like where bottled water comes from, what the hell do people talk about? lol.
Gender stuff is weird. It is a lot of bs too. Gender is the most guarded social institution. Think about all the gender messages you get in an hour of television. It is crazy. It is guarded because a lot of the differences are made up. There are more differences within the genders than between them. (Think of the body hair on a Mediterranean woman compared to a Native American man or an Asian dude.) I hope that things become less gendered.
I think it sounds nice too Sid. I have often wondered if love is real. Can mutual love exist or can love only exist as longing?
I don't know. I would like to believe it can. I expect there is a huge element of I-love-myself-when-I-am-with-you. There is an expectation that all loneliness and disappointment and sorrow and fear will be taken away by someone else. I really think there is a rescue element at play.
I talk about stuff like that all the time. I just am uncomfortable talking about personal stuff. If you don't talk about weird stuff, like where bottled water comes from, what the hell do people talk about? lol.
Gender stuff is weird. It is a lot of bs too. Gender is the most guarded social institution. Think about all the gender messages you get in an hour of television. It is crazy. It is guarded because a lot of the differences are made up. There are more differences within the genders than between them. (Think of the body hair on a Mediterranean woman compared to a Native American man or an Asian dude.) I hope that things become less gendered.
Whether others think you're over-analytical ming is strange or not is irrelevant because your stuck with it. I'm stuck with one as well as is every other Libra male and female I have ever met.
I don't think that this or our desires to be openly expressive bothers anyone else...I think that we bother ourselves. I don't think that I have ever been told by anyone worth mentioning that I should be less me in any way though I have probably questioned myself a million times over.
Where we have a problem is that most people pick up the "time and place" social code better than we. We get it but it requires constant and consistant self censorship because we are such in the moment idealists. I joke with my mom about sex involving my fiance in front of the family while were making dinner. I can't help it...I have an outgoing and shameless sense of fun. Where we tend to go wrong as libras is when others challenge our natural qualities and we, out of consideration for those around us censor ourselves and eventually become unhappy.
As young libras this issue is dormant because we are not dependant on those in our social circles. We can simply be around or not be around people who appreciate us for who we are. As we become adults and get into relationships that have consequences such as being lovers, employees, employers, wives, husbands and parents we start to realize unconciously that we are no longer enjoying the luxury of being surrounded by people who appreciate us just for who we are but what we provide....specifically what we provide them. As we become more dependant....more responsible for ourselves and others we censor ourselves in an effort to please those wee care about....leaving our heads filled with a whirlwind of unexpressed thoughts, questions, comments and feelings.
I don't think that this or our desires to be openly expressive bothers anyone else...I think that we bother ourselves. I don't think that I have ever been told by anyone worth mentioning that I should be less me in any way though I have probably questioned myself a million times over.
Where we have a problem is that most people pick up the "time and place" social code better than we. We get it but it requires constant and consistant self censorship because we are such in the moment idealists. I joke with my mom about sex involving my fiance in front of the family while were making dinner. I can't help it...I have an outgoing and shameless sense of fun. Where we tend to go wrong as libras is when others challenge our natural qualities and we, out of consideration for those around us censor ourselves and eventually become unhappy.
As young libras this issue is dormant because we are not dependant on those in our social circles. We can simply be around or not be around people who appreciate us for who we are. As we become adults and get into relationships that have consequences such as being lovers, employees, employers, wives, husbands and parents we start to realize unconciously that we are no longer enjoying the luxury of being surrounded by people who appreciate us just for who we are but what we provide....specifically what we provide them. As we become more dependant....more responsible for ourselves and others we censor ourselves in an effort to please those wee care about....leaving our heads filled with a whirlwind of unexpressed thoughts, questions, comments and feelings.
Nic!!! (((Nic)))
How's stuff? Good to see you.
How's stuff? Good to see you.
* Where we tend to go wrong as libras is when others challenge our natural qualities and we, out of consideration for those around us censor ourselves and eventually become unhappy.
I suspect this may have to do with air's need to second guess itself.
I suspect this may have to do with air's need to second guess itself.
I think we are intuitive/empathetic and naturally willing to take one for the team. We are able to read the genaral mental state of those around us and eager to balance our enviroments through our own mindset. When we get to the point in life I mentioned above we also come to a point where we have to figure out how to balance ourselves as well as the wold around us. As a father, provider and life partner this is much more challenging than it used to because. this is partly because until this point for us libras we don't really operate off of the same concept of failure as the rest of our society.
Once these obligations come into play there is no more "if my boss can't pull his head out of his ass fuck him...id rather be fired for the right reasons than employed for the wrong reasons" instead there is " this is bullshit but my family needs the money more than I need to risk losing my job".
what we and others question as weakness in us libras couldn't be further from weak. I don't think that there is a sign out there who can sack up and forgo emotional gratification and well being as long as we can for the sake of objective goals. In fact I think that if we could give this quality to the rest of the world it would be a muc more considerate, productive and happy place.
Regardless I think the "trick" for us is to achieve autonomy and independance in the "have to" areas of life and surround ourselves with the right people in the "want" to areas.
That's the stream of my consciousness on it anyway.
@ls...things are good! Our son was born November 1st and the family's doing great.
Once these obligations come into play there is no more "if my boss can't pull his head out of his ass fuck him...id rather be fired for the right reasons than employed for the wrong reasons" instead there is " this is bullshit but my family needs the money more than I need to risk losing my job".
what we and others question as weakness in us libras couldn't be further from weak. I don't think that there is a sign out there who can sack up and forgo emotional gratification and well being as long as we can for the sake of objective goals. In fact I think that if we could give this quality to the rest of the world it would be a muc more considerate, productive and happy place.
Regardless I think the "trick" for us is to achieve autonomy and independance in the "have to" areas of life and surround ourselves with the right people in the "want" to areas.
That's the stream of my consciousness on it anyway.
@ls...things are good! Our son was born November 1st and the family's doing great.
Though moving to a small Midwestern hick town has its challenges. Mainly in challenging my ability to supress my inner asshole in the pressence of tactless ignorent rednecks but I've managed thus far 🙂
Congratulations on the baby!
"As young libras this issue is dormant because we are not dependant on those in our social circles. We can simply be around or not be around people who appreciate us for who we are. As we become adults and get into relationships that have consequences such as being lovers, employees, employers, wives, husbands and parents ...
I know this is true about me. Looking back on the last few years, I lost most of my social circle. I did change when this happened. I didn't have the same releases as I used to. We moved across the country and I lost my Sundays with the guys. It was me her and the kids. Her family was here but no one I knew.
I am 100% with this too.
"Once these obligations come into play there is no more "if my boss can't pull his head out of his ass fuck him...id rather be fired for the right reasons than employed for the wrong reasons" instead there is " this is bullshit but my family needs the money more than I need to risk losing my job"."
Sparrow, I have wondered this too, "I have often wondered if love is real. Can mutual love exist or can love only exist as longing?". Part of my problem is that I know how active my mind is but wonder if other people are the same. I hear people say that "nothing" is on their mind, I can't even imagine that. It's not like I worry all the time or am paranoid, I just am always thinking about ten different things. But I am starting to think that most people aren't like that.
I do think love is real and possible though. I don't think it will get rid of all disappointment or worry or loneliness though. Those kinds of things are a personal problem and while you can (and should) talk about them with people close to you, they are your problems to fix. If a person expects someone to magically make all that go away, they'll be in for a rude awakening. I am alone frequently, but I am not lonely. When something I want doesn't work out I do get disappointed but I don't dwell on it.
I don't expect some woman to make all my trouble go away. I want someone who is willing to fight during the bad times and who wants to just play together for the good times.
I will be 70 one day walking around in some European town (I have not yet been to Europe) with my lady. But I will still be laughing and playful like I am now. I'll smack that wrinkled ass and hobble off laughing. Then we can go take our meds and sleep cause we're old.
"As young libras this issue is dormant because we are not dependant on those in our social circles. We can simply be around or not be around people who appreciate us for who we are. As we become adults and get into relationships that have consequences such as being lovers, employees, employers, wives, husbands and parents ...
I know this is true about me. Looking back on the last few years, I lost most of my social circle. I did change when this happened. I didn't have the same releases as I used to. We moved across the country and I lost my Sundays with the guys. It was me her and the kids. Her family was here but no one I knew.
I am 100% with this too.
"Once these obligations come into play there is no more "if my boss can't pull his head out of his ass fuck him...id rather be fired for the right reasons than employed for the wrong reasons" instead there is " this is bullshit but my family needs the money more than I need to risk losing my job"."
Sparrow, I have wondered this too, "I have often wondered if love is real. Can mutual love exist or can love only exist as longing?". Part of my problem is that I know how active my mind is but wonder if other people are the same. I hear people say that "nothing" is on their mind, I can't even imagine that. It's not like I worry all the time or am paranoid, I just am always thinking about ten different things. But I am starting to think that most people aren't like that.
I do think love is real and possible though. I don't think it will get rid of all disappointment or worry or loneliness though. Those kinds of things are a personal problem and while you can (and should) talk about them with people close to you, they are your problems to fix. If a person expects someone to magically make all that go away, they'll be in for a rude awakening. I am alone frequently, but I am not lonely. When something I want doesn't work out I do get disappointed but I don't dwell on it.
I don't expect some woman to make all my trouble go away. I want someone who is willing to fight during the bad times and who wants to just play together for the good times.
I will be 70 one day walking around in some European town (I have not yet been to Europe) with my lady. But I will still be laughing and playful like I am now. I'll smack that wrinkled ass and hobble off laughing. Then we can go take our meds and sleep cause we're old.
Back??_back to u being a romantic. Wonderful! ??_and also wonderful if u r willing to show it??_it doesn't make u less manly??_on the contrary??_.the woman who loves u should know your strength and also your emotional side. I think this is what all women crave 4. If she loves u??_she will love everything about u??_and if u love her, u will love her for what she is. There is not —I love you but I'm not in love with you—?_love is lust, desire, tenderness, passion??_psychologists define love by 3 elements: intimacy (all that u share with your significant other), passion (the positive emotion towards your SO) and commitment (the desire/wish to keep your relationship with the SO). We talk about true love when u match all these elements ??_but combined differently, the 3 elements lead to different types of love.
In other words, I would say that we have true love when all 3 elements are achieved together, mad hopeless love when we have the passion and commitment but we don't have the intimacy, FWB when we have the intimacy and commitment but no passion, romantic love when we have intimacy and passion without commitment, love at first sight when we have passion without intimacy and commitment, friendly love when we have intimacy without passion and commitment and ??_empty love when we have commitment without intimacy and passion. I think I managed to puzzle u.
Bottom line is there is only one true love??_and u don't love the whole world??_u just love ppl. in your life differently.
And yes, u r supposed to talk openly about whatever crosses your mind with your SO??_and if u don't have your SO u should write it down??_
About picking the wrong one??_I have another theory??_but it's 1:00 AM and I will wake up at 5??_sometimes I could use the 48 hrs day and maybe a 3rd hand??_
hah, I am serious about it though. Thanks for all the responses so far.
So I've been thinking more and am curious if some of the ladies would describe a "clingy" guy. I have read some stories on various threads around here and many of those are extreme. I'm not talking about a stalker, just clingy.
So I've been thinking more and am curious if some of the ladies would describe a "clingy" guy. I have read some stories on various threads around here and many of those are extreme. I'm not talking about a stalker, just clingy.
Posted by LibraLuv
@librasid "I will be 70 one day walking around in some European town (I have not yet been to Europe) with my lady. But I will still be laughing and playful like I am now. I'll smack that wrinkled ass and hobble off laughing. Then we can go take our meds and sleep cause we're old."
LOL...I love this part 🙂
ME TOO! And THIS is what *I* want!
Clingy guys, Sid? Iunno. I mean, everyone's definition varies, as does their "level of comfort" on the subject aka what's TOO clingy? I wouldn't want a stalker or some hot mess of an insecure, jealous control-freak who can't seem to keep his shit together when he's out of my sight... calling multiple times, freaking out if it takes 2 mins to respond to a text, and especially fighting and accusing you of baseless shit because of it.
But a LITTLE clingy and romantic.. kinda nice. I mean, I'm not very clingy, though I do occasionally get in a mood to be closer and more snuggly than usual. And so I'm cool with my Libra's Virgo Moon most of the time (a bit emotionally reserved).. but every once in awhile, it's nice when he gets a LITTLE clingy. Now, this happens occasionally sober.. but EVERYTIME when he's drinking. It's a complete 180.. Mr. Reserved, Mr. Of Course I Love You, I Told You So Only Two Weeks Ago And I'm Still Here Aren't I?... add alcohol and he turns into Mr. Mushball C'mere And Kiss Me, Again Again, Let Me Just Hold You Tight. ...Know what? I still like that too. And I DO understand (and maybe secretly enjoy) those little flashes of jealousy/insecurity when he asks why I didn't text all day, or when he "accidentally" calls the house phone instead of my (usual) cell phone when he's out with the boys. So I LIKE a touch of cling.. a touch of him thinking I'm so awesome he can't believe I'm his.. a little flash of jealousy/insecurity when he seems to think he might lose me to a "better guy"... and how time and time again I hear from others that he never. shuts. up. about. me. LOL
Last one was two weeks ago, he spent the day with his friend Joe, then they went to our fave hangout. Both got too drunk to drive, so my Libra TOOK A CAB to come PICK ME UP to bring me back there (he should have just SENT a cab, half price!)... and when I was introduced to a new couple hanging out with our group, the wife said, "OMG - your man talked and talked about you. Wow, he's so crazy about you. After saying your name every other line for two hours, he said he was taking a cab to go get you, he missed you too much.. did he? Did he actually do that?! Oh wow." Like I said.. add alcohol LOL And bring on that little bit of cling 😉
But a LITTLE clingy and romantic.. kinda nice. I mean, I'm not very clingy, though I do occasionally get in a mood to be closer and more snuggly than usual. And so I'm cool with my Libra's Virgo Moon most of the time (a bit emotionally reserved).. but every once in awhile, it's nice when he gets a LITTLE clingy. Now, this happens occasionally sober.. but EVERYTIME when he's drinking. It's a complete 180.. Mr. Reserved, Mr. Of Course I Love You, I Told You So Only Two Weeks Ago And I'm Still Here Aren't I?... add alcohol and he turns into Mr. Mushball C'mere And Kiss Me, Again Again, Let Me Just Hold You Tight. ...Know what? I still like that too. And I DO understand (and maybe secretly enjoy) those little flashes of jealousy/insecurity when he asks why I didn't text all day, or when he "accidentally" calls the house phone instead of my (usual) cell phone when he's out with the boys. So I LIKE a touch of cling.. a touch of him thinking I'm so awesome he can't believe I'm his.. a little flash of jealousy/insecurity when he seems to think he might lose me to a "better guy"... and how time and time again I hear from others that he never. shuts. up. about. me. LOL
Last one was two weeks ago, he spent the day with his friend Joe, then they went to our fave hangout. Both got too drunk to drive, so my Libra TOOK A CAB to come PICK ME UP to bring me back there (he should have just SENT a cab, half price!)... and when I was introduced to a new couple hanging out with our group, the wife said, "OMG - your man talked and talked about you. Wow, he's so crazy about you. After saying your name every other line for two hours, he said he was taking a cab to go get you, he missed you too much.. did he? Did he actually do that?! Oh wow." Like I said.. add alcohol LOL And bring on that little bit of cling 😉
Posted by BelovedAssata
Librasid, you're describing love as a feeling..and if it's a perfect feeling, then in my opinion, its in it's nature to be fleeting9temporary)..something that is beautiful and perfect and wonderful has to come to an eventual end..like a flower...
I understand what you are saying, but...
Rather than looking at love as a flower that will eventually die, I see it as the garden. While one flower may die, I have already planted more that are blossoming. Yes it takes work and things will change but you don't have to let it die.
I think that's where you were going with the second part right? Moving past the initial stage and deciding to stay with it.
For me, how this happens is to believe in the deeper meaning of things, and soulmates. Through thick and thin.
Being very focused only on one person.
Regarding clingy guys, I prefer them, of course. I don't have a problem with clinginess in my Liebe as he's Sag infused as well as Scorp infused. So he goes hot cold, hot cold. Very focused on his work and advancement.
To find the right person, one must listen to their intuition and not date randomly. If anything, I believe this lifetime for Libras are to pair up.. towards infinity. They just need to carefully select the right person and follow the right timing.
Being very focused only on one person.
Regarding clingy guys, I prefer them, of course. I don't have a problem with clinginess in my Liebe as he's Sag infused as well as Scorp infused. So he goes hot cold, hot cold. Very focused on his work and advancement.
To find the right person, one must listen to their intuition and not date randomly. If anything, I believe this lifetime for Libras are to pair up.. towards infinity. They just need to carefully select the right person and follow the right timing.
@Nefer
"a little flash of jealousy/insecurity when he seems to think he might lose me to a "better guy"... "
If they can lose you, then you're not theirs to begin with. To live to 70 whupping your partner's wrinkled ass, I suppose both parties must KNOW they're never going to lose each other because they're a part of each other and nothing/no one can replace that.
"a little flash of jealousy/insecurity when he seems to think he might lose me to a "better guy"... "
If they can lose you, then you're not theirs to begin with. To live to 70 whupping your partner's wrinkled ass, I suppose both parties must KNOW they're never going to lose each other because they're a part of each other and nothing/no one can replace that.
Nefer
I know everyone wants different levels of independence I guess I am still just clearing my head. I do not think I am clingy. I can actually be a bit detached. But I was called clingy and was curious about it. I now think that the person who said it to me was just so emotionally repressed that they were the messed up one. Like she was unable to be comfortable letting me in even after all the time together. It left a void that I wanted to correct but she couldn't/wouldn't.
I wouldn't want a stalker or some hot mess of an insecure, jealous control-freak who can't seem to keep his shit together when he's out of my sight... calling multiple times, freaking out if it takes 2 mins to respond to a text, and especially fighting and accusing you of baseless shit because of it. I am not like this at all. I was a husband, not her father. She was encouraged to have friends and there was never a problem when she went out with her sister or friends. It didn't happen all the time (or there would have been a problem) but she'd go with her sister and I'd stay home and watch our kids and her sister's. Her sister would watch ours too and we'd go out sometimes. We did talk everyday when I was at work but that was one of those habits that just kind of developed. If one of us called and the other couldn't answer it was fine. We'd call back when we got the chance. And I never accused her of cheating on me because she didn't answer the phone (at least not until after it was true). I never checked up on stories about who/when/where.
A little jealousy is normal in my mind. I am somewhat possessive. When I am with someone there is a feeling of "she is mine" and I expect the same from her. That doesn't mean controlling or psycho though. Just a little bit of passion for someone you care about.
I like the cab thing, I wouldn't have "sent a cab" for you either, I'd have had to come myself.
I know everyone wants different levels of independence I guess I am still just clearing my head. I do not think I am clingy. I can actually be a bit detached. But I was called clingy and was curious about it. I now think that the person who said it to me was just so emotionally repressed that they were the messed up one. Like she was unable to be comfortable letting me in even after all the time together. It left a void that I wanted to correct but she couldn't/wouldn't.
I wouldn't want a stalker or some hot mess of an insecure, jealous control-freak who can't seem to keep his shit together when he's out of my sight... calling multiple times, freaking out if it takes 2 mins to respond to a text, and especially fighting and accusing you of baseless shit because of it. I am not like this at all. I was a husband, not her father. She was encouraged to have friends and there was never a problem when she went out with her sister or friends. It didn't happen all the time (or there would have been a problem) but she'd go with her sister and I'd stay home and watch our kids and her sister's. Her sister would watch ours too and we'd go out sometimes. We did talk everyday when I was at work but that was one of those habits that just kind of developed. If one of us called and the other couldn't answer it was fine. We'd call back when we got the chance. And I never accused her of cheating on me because she didn't answer the phone (at least not until after it was true). I never checked up on stories about who/when/where.
A little jealousy is normal in my mind. I am somewhat possessive. When I am with someone there is a feeling of "she is mine" and I expect the same from her. That doesn't mean controlling or psycho though. Just a little bit of passion for someone you care about.
I like the cab thing, I wouldn't have "sent a cab" for you either, I'd have had to come myself.
Posted by spica
@Nefer
"a little flash of jealousy/insecurity when he seems to think he might lose me to a "better guy"... "
If they can lose you, then you're not theirs to begin with. To live to 70 whupping your partner's wrinkled ass, I suppose both parties must KNOW they're never going to lose each other because they're a part of each other and nothing/no one can replace that.
Don't call it insecurity. I have felt that little spark inside, the flash of jealousy but I never really believed I would lose her. It's a territorial guy thing... a "get away from my woman!" If it's all the time then it's a problem but once in a while, it'll happen. Even if she isn't going anywhere, there are still people out there who will try to steal her. You have to watch out for them.
She won't be stolen if she doesn't want to be. The will is stronger than you think.
She won't be stolen if she doesn't want to be.
I agree completely.
It does take two.
I agree completely.
It does take two.
"A little jealousy is normal in my mind. I am somewhat possessive. When I am with someone there is a feeling of "she is mine" and I expect the same from her. That doesn't mean controlling or psycho though. Just a little bit of passion for someone you care about.... I like the cab thing, I wouldn't have "sent a cab" for you either, I'd have had to come myself.
Don't call it insecurity... I have felt that little spark inside, the flash of jealousy but I never really believed I would lose her. It's a territorial guy thing... a "get away from my woman!" If it's all the time then it's a problem but once in a while, it'll happen. Even if she isn't going anywhere, there are still people out there who will try to steal her. You have to watch out for them."
Sid, you're obviously getting what I'm trying to say, and I appreciate you using the words possessive and territorial... that's more like it, more accurate than insecure... though EVERY Libra guy I've known DOES have some deep-down insecurity about whether or not he DESERVES the woman he loves. I mean, he has self-confidence in most areas.. but there are still some where he wonders if he's really "good enough".. mostly those male-driven needs to protect and provide and make your woman deliriously happy... and if he'll still provide all of that in the future. (Libra Mercuries think/worry WAAAAY too much, Sid.. you know that! lol) He's nearly 40 (and looks it, whereas *I* don't!), doesn't feel he's all that great-looking or special, has a regular job and a regular life.. not some high-salaried doctor or lawyer, no fancy vacations.. drives an old pickup truck he loves.. you know, those things MEN tend to measure their "worth" by.. whereas WOMEN tend to want a man who can provide a living even if not extravagant, and want a man who makes them feel LOVED above all. I'd HAPPILY live in a tenement shack with this man, and STILL would adore him... but that does not compute in a male mind! lol Therefore, these MEN see those possibly "better men" (by men's manly standards) as competition or a possible threat, and stay on guard against it, never getting TOO comfortable and secure about what could "never happen in a million years."
ALSO...
Don't call it insecurity... I have felt that little spark inside, the flash of jealousy but I never really believed I would lose her. It's a territorial guy thing... a "get away from my woman!" If it's all the time then it's a problem but once in a while, it'll happen. Even if she isn't going anywhere, there are still people out there who will try to steal her. You have to watch out for them."
Sid, you're obviously getting what I'm trying to say, and I appreciate you using the words possessive and territorial... that's more like it, more accurate than insecure... though EVERY Libra guy I've known DOES have some deep-down insecurity about whether or not he DESERVES the woman he loves. I mean, he has self-confidence in most areas.. but there are still some where he wonders if he's really "good enough".. mostly those male-driven needs to protect and provide and make your woman deliriously happy... and if he'll still provide all of that in the future. (Libra Mercuries think/worry WAAAAY too much, Sid.. you know that! lol) He's nearly 40 (and looks it, whereas *I* don't!), doesn't feel he's all that great-looking or special, has a regular job and a regular life.. not some high-salaried doctor or lawyer, no fancy vacations.. drives an old pickup truck he loves.. you know, those things MEN tend to measure their "worth" by.. whereas WOMEN tend to want a man who can provide a living even if not extravagant, and want a man who makes them feel LOVED above all. I'd HAPPILY live in a tenement shack with this man, and STILL would adore him... but that does not compute in a male mind! lol Therefore, these MEN see those possibly "better men" (by men's manly standards) as competition or a possible threat, and stay on guard against it, never getting TOO comfortable and secure about what could "never happen in a million years."
ALSO...
And spica... I agree... "She won't be stolen if she doesn't want to be. The will is stronger than you think." I'm not going anywhere, and cheating is unfathomable to me, and he knows it... as an example, that same night, the "cab night" - the owner of the bar (a good friend) turned to me an said, "Libra says you think he walks on water." I just smiled and said, "He does." Which completely knocked that loud, brash, outspoken woman silent for about 20 seconds.. then she said quietly, "Good answer" and high-fived me. (Same woman that when she met me the first time last year.. quite rudely and nastily said I was probably going to "fuck him over like the rest have" and I told her simply, "I'm going to marry him, you'll see. I intend to die with his last name" and that finally softened her "attitude" with me.) I don't MAKE him jealous or insecure, I don't play games, mess with his emotions, don't make him feel there's a "better man" out there. I'm in LOVE with THIS man, flaws and all. His jagged edges fit my own.
But spica, I DO cut him a little slack on his deep, deep fleeting insecurity, possessiveness, his "worry" (etc) about a "better man"... not only does he strive every day to better my life... I know he struggles deep down with his belief that I'm not going anywhere.. 4 yrs ago his ex-fiancee (same first name as me but a diff spelling and bday same week as mine, mind you!) blindsided him, dumped him practically at the altar after 7 yrs together for the co-worker she'd been banging for over a year and just got married to this summer. He NEVER imagined she'd cheat, much less leave... and that's GOTTA be rough on a guy, and GOTTA make them question their trust in the next "too-good-to-be-true" woman he loves, no matter how awesome she seems or how head over heels in love. But I'll remain a quiet, loving, secure constant in his life, and time will eventually quiet his fears he hardly mentions (unless drunk LOL).. I've got the time.. cuz I'm not going anywhere LOL
But spica, I DO cut him a little slack on his deep, deep fleeting insecurity, possessiveness, his "worry" (etc) about a "better man"... not only does he strive every day to better my life... I know he struggles deep down with his belief that I'm not going anywhere.. 4 yrs ago his ex-fiancee (same first name as me but a diff spelling and bday same week as mine, mind you!) blindsided him, dumped him practically at the altar after 7 yrs together for the co-worker she'd been banging for over a year and just got married to this summer. He NEVER imagined she'd cheat, much less leave... and that's GOTTA be rough on a guy, and GOTTA make them question their trust in the next "too-good-to-be-true" woman he loves, no matter how awesome she seems or how head over heels in love. But I'll remain a quiet, loving, secure constant in his life, and time will eventually quiet his fears he hardly mentions (unless drunk LOL).. I've got the time.. cuz I'm not going anywhere LOL
Posted by CappyyLuv30
I ramble a lot. I have random thoughts. I research shit. I talk outta my ass because I have so much to say. I'm interesting though. People ask me if I'm a pothead and I'm not at all. I just have a really creative, active brain. I'm always thinking. Reasoning is like a drug to me. I like figuring things out, relationships, people. I like dissecting things. I like reading people. I'm real observant and pretty good judge of character.
I swear I have written this paragraph about myself before. Except that if pot were legal I'd be a functional pothead. I was just researching if/why an egg will float in salt water but not in fresh water because my son said he is doing a science experiment. I don't like not knowing something so I'll figure it out no matter how silly it may be. And I greatly enjoy people watching.
Posted by CappyyLuv30
LOL @ hose. I love that! (see what I mean) I think of stuff like that too. And I come up with the BEST hypotheticals. I can get real creative on those.
Have you seen the Penn & Teller episode from that BullShit show they had were they did this? They went into fancy restaurants, posed as waiters, and sold bottled water for 10 bucks. They were filling the bottles from the hose in the alley. It was great.
Sidenote:
Posted by CappyyLuv30
I don't know if I'd deserve or appreciate someone like you.
click to expand
I hate to hear a woman say they don't deserve a guy (or good traits about them). Oddly enough it doesn't bother me if a guy says they aren't good enough for a girl, a lot of us are jerks. But a woman saying it bugs me. Another double standard... for someone who is against them, I sure have a lot myself 🙂
Posted by BelovedAssata
This is funny, you're doing exactly what I would do with an analogy, take it and run with it(you know the whole Socrates bit)....though I can understand and would love to play that game with you...just look at what i'm saying for what it is.
It's a bad habit, I'm glad you get it. I do see what you're saying too.
Listen to this, it's good stuff.
Nefer and I have talked before about my story and hers. Her Libra and I have a lot of similarities (and some big differences) and have had a lot of VERY similar experiences. It is really hard to explain the battle in your mind over this.
And just because a thought enters my head long enough to get a quick reaction (That jealous/territorial flash we were talking about) doesn't mean I believe it. There will always be the occasional "are you sure this time" thoughts. Don't freak out if I have a bad day and don't want to talk. I will answer yes to the thought but let me make the answer. The thoughts will fade and I'd stop em now if I could.
At heart we are still romantics and I know I'll get my "happily ever after". If you want something you go after it full force. Aries moon?
Posted by Nefer
cut him a little slack on his deep, deep fleeting insecurity, possessiveness, his "worry" (etc) about a "better man"... not only does he strive every day to better my life... I know he struggles deep down with his belief that I'm not going anywhere.. 4 yrs ago his ex-fiancee (same first name as me but a diff spelling and bday same week as mine, mind you!) blindsided him, dumped him practically at the altar after 7 yrs together for the co-worker she'd been banging for over a year and just got married to this summer. He NEVER imagined she'd cheat, much less leave... and that's GOTTA be rough on a guy, and GOTTA make them question their trust in the next "too-good-to-be-true" woman he loves, no matter how awesome she seems or how head over heels in love. But I'll remain a quiet, loving, secure constant in his life, and time will eventually quiet his fears he hardly mentions (unless drunk LOL).. I've got the time.. cuz I'm not going anywhere LOL
Nefer and I have talked before about my story and hers. Her Libra and I have a lot of similarities (and some big differences) and have had a lot of VERY similar experiences. It is really hard to explain the battle in your mind over this.
And just because a thought enters my head long enough to get a quick reaction (That jealous/territorial flash we were talking about) doesn't mean I believe it. There will always be the occasional "are you sure this time" thoughts. Don't freak out if I have a bad day and don't want to talk. I will answer yes to the thought but let me make the answer. The thoughts will fade and I'd stop em now if I could.
At heart we are still romantics and I know I'll get my "happily ever after". If you want something you go after it full force. Aries moon?
The bottled water thing is part 2. I miss that show. Haha.
"But spica, I DO cut him a little slack on his deep, deep fleeting insecurity, possessiveness, his "worry" (etc) about a "better man"... not only does he strive every day to better my life... I know he struggles deep down with his belief that I'm not going anywhere.. "
Why do you think that you know his deep insecurity, worry, struggles? How about your own? Does your perception of his points reflect YOUR own insecurity, worry and struggle about "keeping" him? God knows what's on his mind? You seem to think you know and display it like an open book. Truth is, it may not be so, but your script based on how he acts, that leads you to think so.
No-one can know what another thinks; to think they know and state it so matter-of-factly is not realistic.
And you can say that matter-of-factly in print, but sometimes real life brings a bit of a turn.
Why do you think that you know his deep insecurity, worry, struggles? How about your own? Does your perception of his points reflect YOUR own insecurity, worry and struggle about "keeping" him? God knows what's on his mind? You seem to think you know and display it like an open book. Truth is, it may not be so, but your script based on how he acts, that leads you to think so.
No-one can know what another thinks; to think they know and state it so matter-of-factly is not realistic.
And you can say that matter-of-factly in print, but sometimes real life brings a bit of a turn.
Posted by PandorasBox
erm.. can i get the cliff notes?
I think too much and like to ramble when I'm DUI
D-xping
U-nder the
I-nfluence
P.S. Penn and Teller: Bullshit was a great show.
Cliff notes are cheating!
I only say the things I've been told and shown - BY HIM. I DO happen to live with my Libra and we DO happen to communicate quite openly (if not often) about plans and dreams and hopes and wants... our feelings, fears, our pasts. How do I know about his deep insecurities? Because we've DISCUSSED them, along with a zillion other things that pop into his eclectic Libra mind. I never said I knew his SECRETS of any kind.. otherwise they wouldn't be SECRET now would they? They'd have been talked about and become REVELATIONS. I also never once said HE'S not going anywhere.. I said *I* am not going anywhere, cuz I don't plan to. Could something major happen in the future to change that? Certainly it could, and certainly there could be situations in which I WOULD leave him. I may be a fool, but stupid I'm not.
Do I worry about keeping him? No I don't, certainly not in the way you seem to be implying, quietly desperate, insecure, and scheming to hang onto my man or something. I know we're in love, I know we're together and happy, and if there are big clouds in the horizon, they aren't visible yet. (Bring on the rain - I don't fear it.) And I also know that if I do "lose" him, I will live through it and take what I've learned onward in my life, as always. Am I guaranteed that we will be together forever? No, I'm way more realistic than that. There are no guarantees in life. Which is what makes THIS a catty contradiction...
If they CAN lose you, you're not theirs to begin with.. but wait... anyone can lose anyone.. LIFE happens. So it takes KNOWING you're never going to lose each other.. but wait.. how can you KNOW, if real life brings its changes and turns?
Mmm but you're right, spica - there are no guarantees and he COULD be LYING to me about everything he says about what he thinks and how he feels, about what he dreams and what he fears. And what a fantastic liar he would have to be - since he has skeptical me convinced he loves me and wants to spend his life with me at his side.
Do I worry about keeping him? No I don't, certainly not in the way you seem to be implying, quietly desperate, insecure, and scheming to hang onto my man or something. I know we're in love, I know we're together and happy, and if there are big clouds in the horizon, they aren't visible yet. (Bring on the rain - I don't fear it.) And I also know that if I do "lose" him, I will live through it and take what I've learned onward in my life, as always. Am I guaranteed that we will be together forever? No, I'm way more realistic than that. There are no guarantees in life. Which is what makes THIS a catty contradiction...
Posted by spica
@Nefer
"a little flash of jealousy/insecurity when he seems to think he might lose me to a "better guy"... "
If they can lose you, then you're not theirs to begin with. To live to 70 whupping your partner's wrinkled ass, I suppose both parties must KNOW they're never going to lose each other because they're a part of each other and nothing/no one can replace that.
If they CAN lose you, you're not theirs to begin with.. but wait... anyone can lose anyone.. LIFE happens. So it takes KNOWING you're never going to lose each other.. but wait.. how can you KNOW, if real life brings its changes and turns?
Mmm but you're right, spica - there are no guarantees and he COULD be LYING to me about everything he says about what he thinks and how he feels, about what he dreams and what he fears. And what a fantastic liar he would have to be - since he has skeptical me convinced he loves me and wants to spend his life with me at his side.
CATFIGHT!
*claws nefer on the nose*
😉
Seriously, that's great if he told you all that, but I don't really believe a guy talks THAT much about his feelings, especially to his S.O... especially not a Libra with super earth influence (and no water...)
*claws nefer on the nose*
😉
Seriously, that's great if he told you all that, but I don't really believe a guy talks THAT much about his feelings, especially to his S.O... especially not a Libra with super earth influence (and no water...)
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