Pathetic Scorp hanging on a libran!

So some of you know my story...

My asian guy is the hardest man to read...so I know that he doesn't run away...he leaves with me and even goes out of his way to be next to me...but yet!?

I try being less coy and more straightforward but I just seem to get pushed back!!

How...well you might know that what I thought was creating a huge gap between us is the age difference. He is 38 going on 39 and I am 24 going on 25. Now the thing is that he doesn't know that I know his age...I am pretty sure he has quite an accurate idea of my age because of the type of question he has previously asked me...anyways how I figured that the "AGE" issue was major...is that...anytime something particular to "AGE" "BIRTHDAYS" "TIME PASSING BY" or back in the days when he first started working. I guess you guys get the point...he would act all weird and try to change the subject or get very evasive about it! Anyways seeing he was awkward about it I didn't think much of it...but now today I sort of faced him with the issue...context below:

So I hadn't seen him at the gym for the past few days...almost a week in all...so when I saw him today I went up to him and told him...what have you been up to...anything special going on with you...and then he said what do you mean...so I went on saying...I don't know...like it could have been your bday and then he went mum...knowing when his real bday is I knew he wasn't his bday...I just wanted to get the subject out there...so whatever...he goes why do you ask..so went on a good "15 minutes" on me trying to find out when his bday was and him trying to change the subject...now the thing is that I didn't ask him what year I just wanted to know the day and month...whatever so after 15 minutes he still didn't want to tell me and he kept on saying why don't you ask "mr.x"'s bday or "mr.y" (referring to other friends at the gym). I went on saying which was true that I already knew their birth date...and then he just said that he didn't share that type of information...so I was slightly pissed and he noticed and he went on saying...don't be like that...why would you want to know anyways...so I went on saying worse case scenario I would have wished you happy bday on your birthday...and then he said oh that's so sweet of you....anyways...we just left it at that....

So few points:
- Why didn't he just leave instead of arguing about that for 15 minutes
- Why did he make such a big point out of not telling me his freaking birth "day" no

I mean what it tells me...is that he is totally afraid of me finding out his age...to a freakish point!!

Forgot to mention that when I found out a gym buddy's age at the gym...I thought that guy was in his mid-twenties when in fact the guy was 33...anyways I went on to talk to my asian guy and said how surprised I was to find out that our mutual friend was so much older...so either he is afraid that if I find out he is 38 I will be freaked out by him...or simply he just doesn't care to tell me his age!

I know...because we have a friend in common...therefore I know his birth date...I know that he is a Libra...like I know all the details...but I wanted to hear it from him...if you read my previous posts you would know that we've talking to each other for quite some time and that we went on a date/walk together...anyways...point is besides the lack of information...what would you say...does the age issue justify him being so stressed about me finding out—

I was going to state the obvious but he did himself * and then he just said that he didn't share that type of information

He doesn't know you very well. Why would he tell you? I don't really get why you would press him on this either. Kind of silly and probably slightly annoying. Sorry.

Just read your post above mine. He probably knows your friend told you and wants you to admit you were snopping in his life. We can be like that.

No actually not at all...the friend in question actually works at the gym and she doesn't know him...anyways thanks for the opinion...I keep on pressing on him because he'll tell me how he went to his aunt's funeral...or that for his mom's bday he took her to such and such places and that he got her this and that....

Also we've know each other for about 4 months if it isn't more...and we talk at least for 20 to 45 minutes each time we see each other at the gym...meaning about 5 to 6 times a week!

That doesn't make you an intimate in his life. We are incredibly private.

I know you think it is cute, but there is a good chance he is finding it really annoying. I know I would. Just be honest.
As a general rule, I find Scorps like to think they know more about us then they really do especially if they like us. They will twist and turn everything we say this way, that way, make up incredible stories about who we really are, and completely miss the mark. The problem is we see the world through different filters and have very different motives when it comes to love. We aren't into the dominance game like Scorps are and it really fascinates you guys. You think it is part of our game when it really isn't. Sort of like what you are doing here with this guy. You think it is a power game, his withholding of his birthday. Meanwhile, he is probably slightly annoyed and/or amused.

I could be wrong but I have been witnessing this dynamic on these boards for years and years and years. I have also had my fair share of Scorp men trying to manipulate and control me, thinking that I was anything other than what I truly was. Scorps of the same sex make GREAT friends. My best friend for many years is a Scorp. But as a romantic partner, the needs are way to different and the approach to life is very different as well. It isn't a match.

Agreed Taste. It is probably that annoyed amusement where he is digging his heels in and saying screw this.

Meanwhile, she probably thinks she is being really cute and flirty.

I could be wrong. Doubt it though.

Me too Taste! I can be so freakin' stubborn when someone is pushing me, especially when they are playing a game about it. Something I have zero interest in.

Pretty much gem.

Scorps don't get the whole air sign privacy thing. That is why they make better friends. In air signland, it is just impolite not to mention creepy to intrude.

Clearly, despite the time you guys have spent flirting, talking, and getting to know each other.. he's still not comfortable revealing that kind of private info to you, like he said. (Try to not take it personal, he may later change if he gets closer to you. Though most Asians I've known are generally pretty private people, regardless of signs!) ...the reason I say that, instead of him being freakishly obsessed with you not finding out his age... when you said you could wish him a happy birthday and he said awww how sweet.. but STILL didn't say, "Okay then it's October 3rd." (or whatever it is - I don't think I've ever read where you've given the date.) THAT tells me he simply doesn't want to answer a question HE considers too personal, even if YOU don't think month/day is too personal for two people getting to know each other.

*shrug* When I ask people for birth dates, and they ask why.. I TELL them I'm into Astrology and would like to look at their whole chart.. and that birth place/time would really, really help make it more accurate. (For one, it's a reasonable explanation that doesn't smack of stalker or identity theft!) So most play along with it, EVEN IF they think Astrology is a "bunch of bunk".. like my Libra. He didn't know his birth time... but asked his Mom for me, because I wanted to know his chart. He STILL says it's a bunch of bunk.. but I'm vastly amused when my Astro-based knowledge once again surprises or impresses him. *wink*

Also, honesty trumps whatever cutesy and creative attempt you may make at digging up info in a roundabout way... I feel he would be MUCH more receptive if you asked for his birthday to look up his Astro chart, than he is for you and your hemming and hawing and finally saying you wanted to wish him a happy birthday. Libras appreciate honesty, openness, and a LACK of game-playing. Girls who play little twisty fun games like not revealing the REAL reasons they ask/want something... they think they're so tricky and smart, but really, their phony vibe gets sniffed out a mile away, and is a big turn off to most guys.

He's a Libra.. he's going to be sweet, polite, friendly, even flirty... even if he just finds you nice to talk to, and isn't particularly attracted to you romantically ...but I agree that he may find you a little manipulative, intrusive, and getting borderline creepy for pushing so long and hard to get info he SAID he wasn't comfortable giving. And WOE is you should he ever find out you actually KNEW his birth date but played that cutesy little mind-fuck game to try prying it out of him... if that happens, he's going to feel violated and offended.. and then pissed.

Hello everyone and thanks for the feedback!

I'll give it you all...I tend to be confusing in my stories.

Quick recap:
I've known him for over 4 months.
We speak daily; He comes to me; He makes sure to never leave w/o having talked to me/ he asks about my pet and about my parents/ He asked me for my address (specifically speaking)/ where I worked/ what are my beliefs (religious)/

He notices when I am not there: He'll say something along the lines of (I haven't seen you these past few days, have you changed your schedule?)

He makes weird comments when I talk to other guys...he never ever takes the elevator, yet the past 2 weeks he has been taking it and said that it was just because of me.

Anyways now as to being too personal...I personnally don't find that knowing someone's birth day...day and month is so so personal...I actually find that harassing someone to find what there exact address is weird and freakish.

Now there is also this thing with him and another guy friend (that mutual friend) that is going on...anytime I'll compliment my guy or per say ask him for his bday he will refer to the other guy. In the case of a compliment; he'll say something along: But I am not as good as "Mr. X" and in the case of the bday...why don't you ask "Mr. X"'s bday...which btw I had already done...and told me him so that I already knew Mr. X's bday and that he had to stop changing subject and just simply tell me whether his bday had passed already...to which he didn't answer anything.

Anyways...I agree that the way things are being said are hard to read...but trust me...he is the type of guy to run away if he feels uncomfortable...the point is that during the whole me jokingly begging him to give his birth day and him saying had turned into a game more than anything!!!

Anyways...so ya...do you guys still believe that he is just freaked out by me—

GemTaur I admire and appreciate your razor thin straightforwardness...lol 🙂

I just have one question for you...WHY DOES HE WAIT FOR ME? after he is done with his workouts...WHY DOES HE COME TO ME?

I am dealing here with someone who barely talks to his guyfriends at the gym...yet he never misses a chance to hang out with me...

I guess I MUST BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT...but yet he won't tell me when his bday is—

I mean...weird...isn't—

I totally agree with you. I guess I was just worried that if I stopped pursuing him he would no longer be interested! But then I guess who wants to be with someone who plays you.

Frankly, I am a scorpio but both my rising sign and moon sign are FIRE. (Leo & Sagittarius)

I guess it helps a bit...and the rest of my chart apart for my four planets in scorp is either AIR or EARTH.

I will take your advise because I agree with you! Thanks again!!!

Everyone knows my Libra around here.. he's been in this (small town next to a small city) area all of his life, so literally everywhere we go, people know him and walk up to him to talk to him - even if he doesn't know or recognize them. He's incredibly social and outgoing, fun and funny and life of the party. So how many FRIENDS does he have? Real friends, not friendly-friends or hang out one night friends? Not just his friendly-with-exes or flirty-with-girls or people-I-work-or-play-softball-with? Two, Mike and Joe. That's all. The inner circle is hard to get into, and can take YEARS.

Scorp, you still don't get it - it was too personal TO HIM, regardless of whether you like or understand that. *ahem* Yes, Libras tend to want YOU to be fully open and transparent to them, BEFORE they reach the point of opening up to you. (I feel like a broken record here.. I've said this before.) HIM asking YOU personal questions is not odd... Libras like to KNOW things. If you find a question creepy, or simply don't want to answer, SAY SO... the way HE does. Guaranteed, he won't be as offended as a Scorp will be over someone NOT wanting to answer something! Libra figures if you answered, you were fine with the question... but that does not mean he's going to throw away HIS natural reticence and blurt out personal things to a girl he's been flirting/talking to for ONLY four months. You pushed and pushed for his birth date, and he probably felt weird about it... but it would have been impolite to freak out, he was trying to find a polite way to leave the convo without being a dick. Manners, manners, manners. Non-confrontational. Friendly and flirty. That's Libras.

If a Libra LIKES you, is attracted to you, wants to date you (or do anything beyond talking/flirting at the gym).. he will at least get your number to talk to you. And boy, will he talk.. throwing himself into getting to know you like it's his JOB, and artfully dodging things he doesn't feel ready to reveal yet.

But hey.. since YOU don't think it's wrong/creepy to get his personal info from your friend who works at the gym... why don't you ask her for his number, so you can call him? Boy, wouldn't he be surprised! And I'm sure he wouldn't think that's Scorp-stalker creepy or harassing at all! See my point? Back off the intensity and let the man breathe, before he becomes your obsession and you become Defendant. :c

P.S. That wasn't meant as harsh as it came out, I assure you. he clearly LIKES talking to you.. there's clearly some potential there.. don't snuff it out before it gets going. Keep it LIGHT, FRIENDLY, FUN, FLIRTY... stroke his ego, flatter him.. let him come to you.

Oh, snap! The Gem's got this one handled. LOL Kudos!