Please help! did I screw up beyond repair?

I'm new to all of this & didn't really know much about libras untill today through some research but I really need some insight/advice. Over the past few months I've become more & more interested in a Libra. He happens to be the brother of a good friend of mine & we've all gotten back in touch with eachother after a long seperstion. Over the past few months we've been getting to know eachother & for the last few weeks have become much closer. He is the nicest guy I think i've ever met, He's always offering to do things for me. Ex.. give me money for a bill, help me move, put me on his cell phone account, he made my daughter & I breakfast & he's very good with her wich is important to me. My feelings for him have really grown strong recently & because of all of the things he's been doing and things that he says to me I assumed that he had a interest in having a relationship however I felt like I needed to ask him how he felt about me. We were alone sitting outside & i just blurted it out "I like you, how do you feel about me?" his responce was "I like you too but I don't see anything longterm" Needless to say I was in shock because that wasnt the answer I expected & before I could help myself I burst into tears. He says please dont cry wich makes it worse so i just said I have to go, i got in my car & took off. well I didnt know untill later when he texted me that he followed me home but when he got there he just turned around & left. What does all of this mean? I went to his house the next morning to get my things & he was sleeping so I wrote him a letter apologizing for acting the way that i did & slid it under his door, he texted me today & said "I appreciate the time you took to write the meaningfull letter but I don't know how to respond to it at this point" Did I mess it up beyond repair?

When is his brithday exactly?

October 3rd 1977

OK, thanks.

I think you should see it this way: you've sewn a seed and you're ahead of him in your thought process. Both parties need time to fall in love and rarely do people fall in love at the same time. He now needs to be given a bit of time to check how he feels about you. You're dealing with a Libra and so this can take a while. Libra likes to feel that s/he conquered the other person (we like to earn you so to speak) so it might be an idea for you pull back a bit. That way he can do his fair share of you two coming together.

The fact that he told you he did not reciprocate does not mean much in the long run. He meant it at the time but equally you caught him off guard.

He went from "I like you too but I don't see anything longterm" to "I appreciate the time you took to write the meaningfull letter but I don't know how to respond to it at this point" in a short space of time.

And it is a time thing. I am not predicting that he will be yours or not. Because I can't. But things are not beyond repair at all. But you have to give him time (and a bit of solitude). It's only just begun - seriously... !!

I believe I used the word 'time' eight times in my message. I amaze myself some times. Oh, and that was another two 'occurrences'...

and wats ur zodiac sign—

And I think you should be prepared to wait a few weeks .. may be couple of months before you get to hear what he really feels. He gotta filter himself and find out if he really loves you or not. Its not easy. 🙂

Thanks for the responses, I'm a Taurus by the way so i don't know if we'd even mesh well together. I'm prepared to just step back. Actually in the letter that I wrote him, I told him at the very end of it that I would leave him alone. No texts or calls or anything, not because thats what I want but because I felt so foolish. Thats why I was so surprised to get a respose back at all. Once again I'm confused because if he wanted to he could have left it at that and thats what I expected. I've read alot about how libras are generally indesisive, at some point in a relationship does that ever go away? Lets say he realizes after this, after some time apart that he really does care more about me then he originally thought, Will that be just a feeling for the moment & then start to have doubts again? I don't know if I could take constantly being pushed away & pulled back in.

CanTaur,

In the letter you've stated that you will leave him alone and he responded with "...write the meaningfull letter but I don't know how to respond to it at this point". In my view this is the slightest hint at him keeping the door ajar - and not shut. So buying himself space.

We're not indecisive! Not in the way you think at least. If we are then there must be a true dilemma. When we love you we love you and you will not be treated with indecisiveness. We only love one.

When we decide that we can love you and then allow ourselves to fall in love with you and when we then make our move towards you this is not just a fling type of feeling - we're thinking 'for a loooong time'.

As regards the 'feeling foolish' aspect - we would have the same and I don't think we judge that particularly harshly. What I like in Taurus is that they can look after themselves very well and have no problem doing this - they don't need a lot of baby sitting. And that makes them attractive...

PS. We have a permanent resident on this board who happens to be a Taurus and last thing I heard she was still very happy with her Libra!

CanTaur, I agree with Libra, when they finally make the decision they want you and love you. There will be no questions. He isn't ready, however, it doesn't mean he isn't interested. The one thing I really admire about Libras are they wait until they are sure to make a move, they don't rely solely on emotion. They seem to know when someone is just "Right" for them and when they finally realize it, they go for it.

I must say reading all of this does make me feel a bit better but at the same I'm being very cautious at this point. I think I'm just going to keep my distance and if we should happen to start communicating again I'm just going to be more reserved with my feelings towards him, don't know if thats the right thing to do though.This has been much more diffecult then I had anticipated. No one has ever been so sweet and what i would describe as shy with me so i'm not used to this. I wrote in a different post that we could be laying next to eachother and he'll keep his arms crossed because he says he trying to be good, I find that very endearing, that says to me I don't just want you phsyically I have more respect for you then that, if he ever does enniciate anything physical its always some sweet jesture like playing with my hair or stroking my cheek wich definatley has me smitten. I also left out that he says he likes me but is keeping himself restricted. The word RESTRICTED is completely foreign to me as I have a tendency to jump into whatever feels right at the moment.

CT, Keeping your distance and being cautious is smart. If you really, really, really care deeply for him----honest assessment on your part----it will take TONS of time. The Libran here are not kidding. LOTS of time. IF you are willing to put in the time you will know for SURE how he feels about you and he MAY make a committment---he may not. He WILL be back---you really didn't offend him, you flattered him. BUT he needs to be left alone to search his thoughts (which Libran will do many, many times once that relationship begins). He was HONEST with you----and, yeah, you were expecting something else. And, yeah, it hurts. Libras are more, much more, cerebral than emotional. If you think everything will work out because you both have your feelings figured out, you'll most likely be wrong. Because Libras live in their head and have to rationalize---it has to add up. We haven't even started talking about the scales thing (balance / unbalanced). He sounds like a wonderful guy, a charmer, NICE to your daughter which is HUGE. You really do have to step back from him and take a look (again, take a lot of TIME) so watch him and your relationship so you don't get too hurt as you progress. ALL Libras are like this (from what I know). You, as a Tauren, will be ever faithful. Also, as a Tauren you like ROMANCE---and romance comes from another angle with Libra.

"If you think everything will work out because you both have your feelings figured out, you'll most likely be wrong."

Once we HAVE figured our feelings out then we will stick by that decision and spin the world around us to make the impossible happen...

CanTaur,

Taurus/Libra can make it work. I'm proof of that!

ok, I've read up on this.

CanTaur,
Yes, be cautious at this point. I'm not sure when you professed how you felt about him (1 month, 1 week, 2 weeks after him doing the nice things he's done), but these guys are very generous with their friends. He sees you as a friend and he hasn't completely ruled out a relationship with you. When you asked him what you did, you put him on the spot and if he's anything like my Libra, then he needs time to process and analyze his thoughts and feelings. By asking him that question and wanting an answer on the spot, he gave you the most honest answer he could give you at the time.

He did the things he did for you because Libra is a sign of relationships and from what I've experienced with my boyfriend, that means friendship as well as romance. They crave having friends in their corner. Once they commit to one person, they are committed to you quite strongly. I think you scared him but it was actually good for you to give him that jump start to help him process his feelings for you.

The crying spell probably made him uncomfortable because they are not near as emotional as us bulls. My boyfriend has seen me cry twice; once he comforted me, the other time, he just sat next to me. He's not completely gone yet, but you have to give him space to process his thoughts.

In regard to the letter you left him, it seems like you've left out what you said in it other than apologizing for how you acted since he replied with "I appreciate the time you took to write the meaningfull letter but I don't know how to respond to it at this point", so did you write something else?

Also, you apologized for being you. Don't do that with these guys. Part of what he admires about you I'm sure is the fact that you speak from the heart. You didn't get the reply you were hoping for, so you reacted in the moment based on how you felt. That meant crying and dashing off instead of talking through your feelings. If that's how you are, then don't apologize for it. Apologizing for who you are makes you lose your true identity.

Just give him some time. I don't think he's completely done and it may turn around.

Yeah, Libra, that's true. It may take a long time! Right?

Just to answer a couple questions and give a little more background, I'll try to keep this brief.We met when we were about 10yrs old & attended school together but were never really close friends. I had not seen him since HS up untill about January. At that point contact was very limited, an occasional email or text message. That last about 3 months, because i'm friends with his siter I ended up seeing him quiet a bit so i suppose it was about in April that we started talking a few times a week, by may we were seeing eachother a few times a week & for about the past month we've been more serious as far as deeper conversation & more time. Wich is what led me to ask the dreaded question 🙂 however I've been telling him how i felt for the last 2 weeks i guess & never really seemed to get anything back from him. I hate to be smothered so because of that i try not to do the same with others but his sister told me that I needed to come around him more & instead of flirting & acting silly to be more serious because thats what he liked. I figured she'd know after all she's been right there through past relationships. maybe that was the wrong advice & i don't blame her as she was very excited about "US" & was trying to help? Anyway the letter basically said I'm sorry I acted that way(as far as crying & running away) it said that I thought he had more feelings for me then I guess he did & that maybe I misinterpretted some things that he said or did, that i was just being honest about my feelings & things i wanted in my life, that i'm sorry things happened this way & i was hoping for a different outcome & that i wouldn't pursue him anymore. Like I said his responce was thanks for taking the time to write the meaningful letter I'm not sure at this time how to respond.

OOPS sorry for the double post 😢

CanTaur,

In your letter you've given him quite a lot of insight into how you feel and what you're thinking. Best is to become a bit aloof. The best for your case would be for his head to think along the lines of 'I am not sure how she feels about me anymore. She liked me, she said so and now she behaves differently. Have I pushed her away with my reaction?'

Someone falling for you is very flattering after all and he will try to get you to confirm once again how you feel about him - WHICH OF COURSE YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO...

So be aloof but be very friendly. Don't put yourself outthere but when you see him be happy to see him.

Oh CanTaur this might give you a little more hope. I met a Libra girl this weekend who has a woderful relationship with a Taurus guy. Who seems to be a very nice guy. She also told me she has dated several Tauruses. She can't get away from them, but this one was the best. So maybe it is a good match. 🙂 Oh, and our other Taurus female friend on this thread with her great relationship with her Libra.

Libra, thank you sooo much for all of the helpfull advice. I've been so confused & never having dealt with a Libra before I wish I had thought to look this up or find this Board a few months ago. The insight I've gotten from everyone has been wonderfull & anyother advice anyone has is always greatly appreciated. I have a feeling I'll be visiting regularly now 🙂 In the past whenever I've felt rejected I've tended to become almost cold to that person, I assume it's to spare my feelings but i don't want to be like that with him so I'm going to put on my biggest best happy face whenever i may happen to see him in the future but not dive right in. If you all new the conversations we had as far as our feelings about relationships & how to make them work, what we both want out of life etc.... I couldn't help but fall. He's exactley who I've been looking for. I've never had someone say something at the same moment i was thinking the same exact thing in my head. It's been so strange & I guess why this is all the more sad for me but I'll just keep my distance & my fingers crossed! thanks again

It's hard when he's all that you're looking for, isn't it?

But be sure to be a little bit cold, too. Confuse him. If he wants you he's not afraid of reaching out. We need the challenge so that we can feel GREAT at the end. In his mind you must deserve him and he you. So be very happy to see him but when bumping in to each other do walk away before he does (supermarket, bar, anywwhere). It works a charm. Not in then moment but in the hours/days that follow.

You've not done a bad thing at all, by the way.

the*

Give him space for now, CanTaur. These guys take a while to decide what to jump into - doesn't necessarily mean they're indecisive per se, but rather they are analyzing all options.

What's your moon and venus sign as well as your rising sign? I'm curious.

Mine is Leo moon, Pisces venus, and Sagittarius rising, so I'm a walking contradiction...I can be cold at times, bitchy at other times, but my sun and venus pull me right back into the real me.

Thanks libra, houston..... I don't know what my moon/venus sign is or my rising sign. I decided to do some research at the urging of my father who is really into astrology. I'm sure i've asked him for all that info before but i don't think he ever got back with me on it but I'd like to know. Any suggestions on sites i could visit to figure all that out? i know that I possess alot of the character traits typically associated with a taurus so I'm always interested to find out more. My Libra also posses alot of the traits I've read about where as one of my best friends who is also a Libra is very much the opposite of him & another Libra friend i have. i just think the whole thing is very interesting. On another note, just a quick question....... I've decided to kinda stay away & give some space before i make another appearence, he lives with his sister/my friend so how long should I stay away? I was thinking at least a week or two. What does everyone else think?

***I've been so confused & never having dealt with a Libra before I wish I had thought to look this up or find this Board a few months ago.*** Since you have met a libra, you will be confused for a long long time trying to figure him out.

I met a taurus girl a month plus ago. She was looking for traveling companions and we moved together in a group and once we even went for movie. I do like her but I dont think she is the girl I need in life. So I have been careful not to make her feel anything special. Still at times my instincts tell me she somehow has the idea that am interested in her. So if she comes this side and confess like you did, then even i have no idea what to tell her. I do like her. But I dont think she is the girl I need. So I will have to think a lot before I say something to her. Bcoz I have been anticipating something going wrong, I push her with a cappy guy most times and I move with an Aries girl in the group. Atleast she will get a better sense of understanding that someone else can be more comfortable to move around than me.

I hope you get it.

thelibran, thank you for sharing, now if i may share with you. I ofcourse can only speak for myself as a taurus woman but in order to avoid a similiar situation, like the one I'm in I'll offer you this... I myself am a romantic & a dreamer, I don't think it takes much to win me over. Something that you may say in innocense could be completely misconstrued by someone such as myself. I'm always searching out the romantic sensitive parts of people & I seem to tune into that. Please be careful with things you say to you taurus and make sure that she's fully aware that what you have is strictly platonic, even if that means constantly making reminders of that. I don't think making subtle hints works well at least not for me & personally I'd rather just have someone come out & say it rather than let things progress for the sake of hurting ones feelings. Trust me that hurts much more in the long run. Hope that helps & good luck 🙂

issue is that its not platonic... I do like her... If I can recode the entire section of my actual requirements, she can fit in perfectly. But the question is do i have to adapt to a different nature? Will she be happy with my real character in the long run. I doubt that part. I mite be happy but she wont be. She is just blind for the time being and I dont think I should take advantage of that situation.

* "I appreciate the time you took to write the meaningful letter but I don't know how to respond to it at this point"

See I take it as he doesn't know how to respond given the waterworks the other day. I have said the same thing after someone has caused allsorts of drama. I don't dislike them but I don't want to make things worse and don't want to be involved in the situation.

* Because Libras live in their head and have to rationalize---it has to add up.

I agree. I can love someone but not pursue or think of them as a romantic partnerships because I know we are incompatible. Something, as Atom said, doesn't add up. We don't follow our heart over our head because emotions are fleeting things. You need a solid base of friendship and several types of compatibility.

* ALL Libras are like this (from what I know).

I don't really balance back and forth. I generally know VERY quickly, first meeting, if someone would make a good mate for me or not.

* I thought he had more feelings for me then I guess he did & that maybe I misinterpreted some things that he said or did, that I was just being honest about my feelings & things I wanted in my life, that I'm sorry things happened this way & I was hoping for a different outcome & that I wouldn't pursue him anymore. Like I said his response was thanks for taking the time to write the meaningful letter I'm not sure at this time how to respond.

This? Would freak me out. Way. Too. Much.

* If he wants you he's not afraid of reaching out. We need the challenge so that we can feel GREAT at the end.

I don't know if this applies to me. I want things to be easy BUT I want someone I am attracted to on all levels who is a natural compliment, natural partner. I really am not interested in chasing someone down and proving myself to them.

I like reliable guys who don't give me too much trouble. Although I have often felt this way, after a terrible two years of dating I TRULY appreciate it now.

* issue is that its not platonic... I do like her... If I can recode the entire section of my actual requirements, she can fit in perfectly. But the question is do i have to adapt to a different nature? Will she be happy with my real character in the long run. I doubt that part. I mite be happy but she wont be. She is just blind for the time being and I dont think I should take advantage of that situation.

Thank you! This is what I keep trying to say. We can love someone but know they are wrong for us. We aren't blinded by emotion nor are we romantic dreamers where love conquors all. We understand without a base of compatibility ... non of it matters because it will cause more pain in the long run than the short.

thelibra and LS, although I am a scorp. I can truly relate. I had to break up with someone I loved very much, but knew it wouldn't work out. It hurt the both of us like hell, but the reality is. I knew it wouldn't be a good fit in the long run.

Libra know this even before they start a relationship. But often they fool them selfs and try to see how it goes.