So off balance

Well I havent been on these boards in a very very long long time. But Im back, because again I have an issue with my libra guy (well he's not mine anymore).

Anyway I would just like to see what some of you have to say because your always very honest.

Im a libra woman who has been in a wonderful relationship with a Libra man for 2 years. We only had one major fight the whole time and it was toward the begining and we did NOT seperate EVER.

Well 2 weeks ago his ex who is a gemini woman found him and told him she wants to try again. Now he says he loves both of us but he thinks thats where he wants to be. So now Libra man has left our relationship to be with this Gemini woman. Even though he cried and said he really loves me and wants to come home but he is very very torn and doesnt want to hurt me. I cant understand for the life of me why you would leave your home to be with someone who you admited screwed your bestfriend, then married him and had a baby, then when they seperated and you guys decided to try again, she cheated and got a second child.

Everyone keeps telling me I shouldnt be so sad because eventually he will want to come back and he will see what a big mistake he made. He left things at our home and when I tried to give them to him when I saw him somewhere he told me no he will come get them. Why wouldnt he jsut take them then. I dont do very well with this kind of stuff. I love really really strong and I am so thrown off balance by this that its even messing with my real balance (i have become very clumsy the last few days and just off kilter) just one week before she popped up we were discussing marriage. What happened? Is the gemini woman's pull that strong over a libra?

To be honest I wont lie and say I dont want him to come home because I do. But I know I cant wait forever. Should I even be contemplating waiting for him to come around again? Is there even really a chance he will come back around?

So much I want to say, but I'd be here for hours and hours, spamming this thread -- and repeating myself a lot. So I'll keep it somewhat simple.

The harsh truth is... something's broken inside him and he's attracted to women who cheat. Some men are like that (some women too, think about it).. the off-balance feeling, the unknown, the drama... wires are crossed somewhere and it feels like LOVE to them, exciting and thrilling, no matter how self-destructive. Sadly, YOU can't fix him, only HE can.

No, do not "wait around for" him... get on with your life, even if it's a huge chore just to get out of bed, shower, brush your teeth, get dressed, and face your day. Sitting around crying in your robe ISN'T attractive to anyone -- moving on and getting your happy, full life will make you more attractive, to everyone. Him AND other guys you haven't even met yet, maybe even someone better for you!

How would it feel to you if YOU were the one choosing whether or not HE fit YOU, whether or not YOU want HIM back? For HIM to scramble to step up to prove to YOU that he's even worthy of a second chance? That's the power and worth of a feminine, fabulous woman. A woman's value is immeasurable, though most don't know their true worth and accept bad behavior and things that make them FEEL awful, to their own detriment.

I'm going to mail you something to help you.

*sigh* It won't let me mail you. Possibly your username, even though I tried with +'s as spaces. perhaps if you mailed me first, I could reply to it? lol

LOL Thanks, pige... that got me nowhere, all seven times I tried 😛

This turned out a lot harsher than I intended when I started to respond so I came back to put in this warning...


To answer your questions...

Why did he leave his stuff with you?
You are his back up plan. Leaving his stuff at your house gives him an excuse to come see you too. My advice, pack it up, put it outside, and leave him a message or text (DO NOT SPEAK TO HIM) and tell him his stuff is outside. Tell him if he hasn't gotten it by trash day it'll be at the curb... follow through.

What happened?
He's just not that into you... (that's what it's called right?) Talk is cheap. He says he loves you while he is going back to an ex who hurt and left him claiming he loves her too... wow! He left, there's nothing he needs to say.

Is the gemini woman's pull that strong over a libra?
No, your Libra is broken. I'd try to exchange it for a good one.

Should I even be contemplating waiting for him to come around again?
Hell NO! Why would you? What would you be waiting for, a second place ribbon?

Is there even really a chance he will come back around?
Yes. When Ms. Gemini fucks his best friend again and he needs someone to pick him up. Or when he gets tired of her he may go back to an ex again... you this time.



He is not worth your tears.

Sid... *mock glare*

Why you gotta be so damned astute? I hate you 😛

Never let someone be your priority when to them you are just an option....

Wow, my response really did sound bitter... so blunt, just sharp answers with no explanation or reasoning. I do stand by my statements but and going to respond a little deeper.

When you say you guys never fought, I believe it completely. I know how non-confrontational I am and have been seeing Libra after Libra come on here saying it about themselves as well. Put two people together who avoid it and yeah... there won't be many fights. How was the communication though? In two years together, you guys had to disagree about things. What happened then? Did you talk and settle things right or did one of you continually bury stuff inside?

As for why this Gemini is so important to him...
How long were they together? Of course, the longer they were together the more she would mean to him (regardless of how it ended).
How long ago was their breakup? You said she moved on, had a baby, got married.... yada yada. This leads one to believe a good amount of time has passed. People do need time to get over past relationships. From what you have told us, this Libra obviously never got over her.

Libras can forgive a LOT before they reach a point of not caring anymore. While the fact that she cheated and had a baby with the new guy would be more than enough to make any guy head for the hills, it doesn't really surprise me that a Libra will look past it. We can be very foolish like that.

Many Libras also have deep rooted self esteem issues. Too many of us also use relationships as a way to identify ourselves. Rather than basing our self worth on... well, ourselves; we tend to tie it to the person we are with. Having someone leave us really messes with some of us. We will usually turn it on ourselves first. We instantly think of what we did wrong, we give the other person a "pass" amd try to figure out what we should have done different.

He may she this "second chance" as a way of redemption. If he still somehow thinks her being a whore was his fault, he might see this as his chance to make it right.

All said and done, his choice here shows were his priorities are. You are Libra as well so really look at what was said as some of it may apply to you as well. Make sure you aren't identifying yourself based on this failed relationship. I have been in your spot too, were the person you thought was so great leaves you for someone who isn't worth much of anything. The fact that you are considering waiting for him... continued

shows how much you care but you have to be careful how much you keep caring. You have to protect yourself.

I am sorry that you had to go through this. I know how much it can hurt you. Hopefully the friends who were telling you that he will realize what he lost and want to come back were saying it just to mean that you are a good person and he fucked up. When he does realize it and wants to come back, you have to be strong and know that you deserve better. This guy has problems. He can fix them and change how he views things but it won't happen overnight.


The first response was so short and to the point and now I am just rambling??_

Damn potheads just talking forever.

I think he is a motherfucking asshole first and foremost. She cheated on me.( Depending what kind of cheating in my book, kissing can be worked out anything passed first base is a no-no!)- Red Flag, Cheated with MY best friend - Red flag, Has baby by him - Red flag, Leave ME for him - I'm Surprised the ref. didnt eject her from the game. There is no reason to step backwards to someody like that. I can only think that his ego got shattered and somewhere in his mind he feels that everything would have worked ok if she didnt cheat versus she only wants me back because things are not going well with me and realize she fucked up when she cheated on me, now she wants to double back—? Dont like to say the word bitch, but BITCH get the FUCK outta here! While your leaving go kill yourself

Thanks everyone for your comments. And I dont mine the harshness of some of them. I actually appreciate it because people keep handling me with kid gloves.

Needless to say when I wrote the orginal post I was very upset and distraught. Now, I actually dont care lol. Later that evening after I cried until I had no more tears it came to me that if I had been honest with myself I would have left a while ago when I myself started wondering if we were ment to be ( i dont even know why I was having those feelings). And for the person who asked, I was usually the person to sweep my feelings under the rug if we had a disagreement (that is how I was raised, very old fashioned southern upbringing).

Also, I onced dated a Leo who is trying really hard to help me pick up the pieces, but Im trying to keep him at arms length because I dont want to hurt him again. (We had been off and on since 2003 and Im his first EVERYTHING) I never cheated on him I jsut always kind of drifted away from him, but no matter what he has stayed around and jsut plays the back until someone f's up and he wants to be my knight in shining armor. And I jsut dont know what to make of him. Maybe I should ask over on the leo board because Ive never known a leo man/ libra woman couple

So first things first. Im really really upset with myself. Not because I back tracked because I havent. But a few people have told me my ex is so much heartache right now and he looks really sick and saying things like he really wants to come home but he cant because he hurt me to bad and things will never be the same. (I think he doesnt come home because of his pride he doesnt like to fact relaity when he makes a mistake). Now the reason im mad at myself is because I was delighted to hear of his "suffering" I mean seriously I dont know what has gotten into me but it makes me feel so good to know that even if he is there with her he still hurts for me. Im not the kind of person to derive pleasure from anyone's pain, but this case is just so differnt. I actually caught myself grinning when I thought about them saying he looks like he's lost and so hurt. But I digress.


Secondly,

As far as the leo he and I sat and had a very long talk. I do love my leo. Always have. The times I left were because he moved so slow until I got really bored. But Ive changed alot since then. I expressed to him why im not rushing things with us like I use to and he totally understands. Im just trying to make sure im getting with you for the sake of US and not jsut because I'm lonely or hurt. No rebounds for me. I honestly think he's jsut an all around good guy and isnt persuing me because he sees me as vunerable. My ex (libras) brother is my leo's bestfriend and he even said to me "My brother (libra) may think he loves you but I know for a fact (leo) loves you more than anything in this world."

So for right now were taking it nice and slow.

oh Lust of a Libra, so nice to see you again so sad about the circumstances. Big Hug.

My first leo, the one I lived with, is the same. He is still in love with me and we haven't been together in almost 10 yrs.

hang in there honey.