Still going around in circles.

So since I last posted about the Libra not responding to my Christmas message, New Years had passed. He wanted me to get tickets to where he works so I guess I could be with him? We kissed at midnight and he hung out with me the best he could throughout the night while he was working. After he got off work I stayed and we all continued drinking and partying with his co-workers until someone suggested after hours at a club. We went and the cover was $ 100 a person, which he paid and everyone was miserable being there except me and him where he was all over me and we just disappeared from everyone and went onto the dance floor and had a blast. We got into a huge fight on the way home though about some guy dancing with me while he was working (I wasn't aware I couldn't innocently dance with someone while hes on top of the bar dragging girls up there dancing with them) and when we got back to his apartment he wanted to watch some tv in which we continued arguging and he went to bed and I decided to sleep on the couch. Three hours later I went into his room and crawled into bed with him, he was done being pissed off. We've seen each other 2-4 times a week since then, hanging out playing video games, going to the movies etc. I had surgery last Sunday and didn't really tell anyone just had a status up on facebook about it and he called me Monday while he was on his way back from getting his hair cut and asked how I was doing. The hospital I was at isn't in the town I live and where he gets his hair cut is a few towns passed where I was so I jokingly said oh well I guess you could stop by and check on me and he said that's why he was calling and that he wanted to stop by. I had already checked out so of course he couldn't. I ended up going to see him Wednesday while he was at work even though I was half dying and we hung out after wards and went back to his house and he took care of me and stayed up until I was able to fall asleep. Thursday I had asked if I came out again if he wanted to hang out afterwards and he said yeah you can sleep over so I did and we ended up fooling around since I was too high on painkillers to realize I was still achy. He was very gentle though and caution of hurting me and was hestiant about it but I insisted 🙂 Anyways Saturday night comes around and hes suppose to go snowboarding right after work so we wouldn't be hanging out and then there was this girl throwing herself at him at the bar.

She was also at the bar on my birthday back in November and he was suppose to hang out with me after wards but never ended up calling. I find out after the bar closed from a bartender at the bar next door since they're all owned by the same person that they weren't leaving till the next day. Of course this looks suspicious to me now and I call him asking and he says no that that guy is meeting them up there etc etc. Well hang out Tuesday when he gets back. So now yesterday I see on his friends status that they left around 5PM, so he was lying about when he was leaving. The only conclusion I came to was that he was hanging out with this girl again and lied about it because he didn't want me to know. I asked him what the deal was with him and her and he said there is no deal, what's the deal with you trying to cause drama where I work. To which I replied I didn't try to cause anything, I came up to you asking a question. I never approached her, said anything to her, nothing.

I really don't understand what's going on anymore. He gets annoyed when other guys want to dance with me, talk to me, or even look at me and blames it on "his boss doesn't like their significant others hanging out at the bar because it distracts them." Which I can see making sense if half the employees weren't dating each other. It seems like he blames his jealousy on that but when he does it it's okay or it's his "job."

I've asked him several times if he liked me and the last time we got into this conversation he said he did and for me to stop being so negative and to open up, but it's hard when I don't know what's going on and this all started as a one night stand.

Any input?

Yes. Please re-read the responses given to you last time.

Also, as gently as possible, I must point out to you... he's NOT your boyfriend. He's NOT committed to you. So really, so what if he IS spending time with this other girl? He owes you no explanation whatsoever, he doesn't even owe you "admitting" to hanging out with another girl. You're having a non-relationship with him. You are DATING. You are SLEEPING TOGETHER. Don't confuse it with a relationship. You shouldn't be making him the be-all and end-all anyway, that KILLS attraction... you need to have a full and busy life aside from him. YES, you should be dating others, whatever. But NO, not his friends, co-workers, OR doing it at his place of employment. That just makes you look like you're trying to make him jealous, a childish and bitchy move as far as most guys look at it. Seriously, get it out of his face - it's backfiring.

It wasn't all that long ago that you did something that really hurt him and sparked his jealousy and distrust. Seems like he's still interested in you, but being careful, not putting all of his eggs in one basket - especially with a girl who would get drunk and make out with some other guy at his place of work, in front of people who know him. (Libras ARE concerned with how things LOOK to others - and what you did probably HUMILIATED him beyond your comprehension.) Do YOU owe HIM total fidelity and hanging on indefinitely for him, like a teen girl waiting by the phone? NO, especially without a commitment from him. But is he going to get jealous? Yup, apparently so. Bully for him; won't kill him. But stop rubbing it in. No dancing with other guys in front of him, etc. THAT gives him a target/reason/excuse for getting ANGRY and blaming YOU, not merely jealousy that he must deal with constructively, BECAUSE you've done nothing he can say is WRONG.

Also, YES - Libra wants you to open up. He won't invest his heart and emotions too deeply until you do, will keep distance between you. Does it seem like a double standard? It probably is. But opening up in a true and genuine way is the only way you'll ever engage his emotions, and that's got little to do with him being a Libra. Him being a Libra just means he'll make YOU do it before HE will. How infuriating, I know! I've got me a Libra too, and we went through our share of crap in the beginning. But I know better than to EVER intentionally make him jealous.

I don't try to make him jealous on purpose. I been going to this bar since before I even knew he existed as an employee there, yeah we're hooking up or whatever but if he's pulling up girls and dancing with them on the bar as harmless fun I don't see why I can't dance with other people as harmless fun. It's not like I'm dry humping them up and down the dance floor. Also last week when I went there just to hang out I was sitting at the bar and two guys approached me and I gave them the cold shoulder to the best of my ability and told them I had a boyfriend so they would leave me alone. I even heard it for that. It's like all I should walk around with a huge "F OFF" sign on my forehead so no one can talk to me let alone anything else. The kissing someone else was stupid on my behalf I'll admit that but at least I didn't do it in his job, I was outside and down the block and very wasted. If he's allowed to do whatever he pleases why aren't I? I mean why do I get to hear it but if I question him it's a whole different story? Even if I was a perfect little angel, I still don't know what else to do. It seems like it's the same routine and when things start getting better and we're finally making progress, something happens and I feel like I mean nothing to him.

You know what? It IS a double standard. Sucks, I know. But would you rather be RIGHT, or would you rather be HAPPY? I'm pretty sure you WOULDN'T like it so much after all if he didn't CARE if you flirted, etc. like HE does, even if the double standard drives you nuts. CLEARLY, he is NOT going to accept the same flirtatiousness from YOU as he does all the time. Can you live with that? Or is that a deal-breaker? Decide now, because it DOESN'T get better! Seems from your name that your bday is in November, and I saw where you were asked in the other thread if you are a Scorp - but since you hid your posts in that thread, and no one commented about it, maybe you didn't tell anyone. Scorp/Libra isn't going to be an easy match anyway. Hot and sexy, but not easy. Personally, I feel like you're a Sag. Sags and Libras are an intense, hot match, and can work out really well... if the (female) Sag doesn't wound the (male) Libra too much with her fun-loving, wild and flirtatious ways, and the fact that she'll always be a boy-magnet. Which are you, Sag or Scorp?

Jealousy works pretty well with some signs for sure. But with Libras... you're better off telling (and showing!) them that you think they're the BEST, most wonderful, awesome man EVER, and that you have no interest in anyone else. (Sincere) FLATTERY!! THAT will get you much farther with Mr. Libra. The only jealousy that will galvanize a Libra is the *silly* and *unreasonable* flashes of jealousy he gets when he notices how many others like and want to be around his love interest. You know, those ones that he has to reason with HIMSELF about, because his girl's done nothing WRONG per se, she's just so great that others see it too. And though he might bitch about it, he's trying to guage YOUR reaction - were you into the flirting? Did you like the other guys? If you act guilty he thinks, "AHA! She was up to no good!" So just keep your cool when he bitches about other guys noticing you - if you did nothing wrong, and do not ACT guilty, he will get over it. Secretly, they like the attention their girl gets. Libras LOVE pretty, and love attention, and love a girl who makes them look good! (That's why your behavior backfired so bad! He really liked you - but what you were doing with the other guys made him look bad to anyone who knows him, whether for real or only in his mind!)

Also, if you want it to work with your Libra, you need to change your whole viewpoint on how your bad behavior is justified by this or that. "I was wasted" is no excuse with a Libra. Drunkenness is no excuse with them - drunk people don't usually do things they'd NEVER do... they just get the guts to do what they really want to deep down once their inhibitions are lowered or gone. He doesn't want to hear why it's okay for you to do things he doesn't like.. like flirting/dancing with others, making out with another guy, etc etc. Libras are such diplomats, it's HARD for them to point out anything negative to you -- unless it's very important to him. YOUR behavior is important to him right now. He's "trying you on for size" and if you continue acting like a free and easy single girl, he will think that's how you'll be in a relationship, and he'll fade away. It's such a fine line with a Libra man in the beginning: how to not be TOO available and easy and kill the attraction - yet to make him feel special and wanted and like he's the one for you. Most of us have shit luck balancing on that tightrope, for sure - the littlest thing can tip the scales.

Libras are natural, incurable flirts. MY Libra is STILL the biggest flirt in the room, but hooboy - let me spend just a moment too long speaking to the guy that walked up and offered to buy me a drink. Gets that look on his face.. like a steel door crashing down in his eyes. Goes off like it doesn't matter, like he doesn't care... and directs a chilly cold front towards me. Double standard? Hell yes it is! The only way to "warm" my cold Libra is to stand calm and strong.. I did nothing wrong. He'll keep almost pouting, like I DID do something wrong. I stand strong and quiet. Sort it all out, boy - I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not budging. I did nothing wrong. Finally satisfied that I REALLY did nothing wrong, and that my *intentions* were not to do something wrong, he relents.. and comes back hotter and sweeter and closer than ever. And I just passed one of his rigorous, secret Libra Tests. Once I was coming to the dancefloor to join him (and get his interest back to ME, not the women he dances with!) and a guy stepped right up to me, pushing his chest into mine, all Hey Baby - I put my hands on his chest and shoved him back HARD and said, "DON'T touch me. Excuse me now." And my Libra glowed w/ pride and when I got there, swept me up into a deep movie kiss & held me. Another Libra Test passed.

I am a Scorpio unfortunately which makes me extremely jealous and possessive to begin with so when I see him flirting with other girls and then getting blamed for doing something similar it annoys me to no end. I didn't not think he was hooking up or seeing other people, I just never had it in my face like I did Saturday night and after putting two and two together about this girl on several different occasions and the fact he lied saying she was his cousin and then she was a representative it looked fishy. I understand I'm not his girlfriend and we're not in a relationship but you should at least have the decency to not lie to me, if you do in fact actually like me. I'm not a very trusting person in the first place and that just makes it even worse since we aren't together, if we ever were to be how would I trust you? It's very back and forth with him, his mood swings give me whiplash honestly. Sometimes I feel like wow this is actually going somewhere and then other times like Saturday night I feel like just another girl.

Sometimes I really hate being a Scorpio, I over analyze everything and truly drive myself up a wall. Things were going good for awhile, we'd spend 6 out of 8 days together, he'd be really affectionate and would wanna keep seeing me and then turn cold. I just don't understand this behavior still. I had asked him about a month ago what he was doing for Valentines day and he said spending it with you. Well I was with him Monday into Tuesday and assumed we we're still hanging out and had gotten pretty busy and didn't talk (or hear from him either) until Friday when I called him. He said it was weird because he was just looking at my facebook page and was wondering why I hadn't updated my status since Monday and how unlike me that was. Well thanks for noticing. I asked if he was still going to hang out Saturday night and this is when he tells me he's going snowboarding with three of his co-workers, if I wanted to hang out that night so I said I wasn't sure I'd let him know. Ended up hanging out and then stopped by where he worked Saturday night only to deal with one of his ex's talking about me the whole time and giving me the worst looks. I just had a weird gut feeling that something was off so I went and asked the people he was going away with if they had plans for Valentines day and they didn't mention anything about it. Of course I called him out on it and we got into a huge fight. I left and went to the diner with my friend and in comes his ex who is obnoxiously talking loud about how she's staying with him that night etc etc. I send him a message telling him this and saying have fun thanks for lying to me. Yesterday I questioned why he lied and he said she was just saying that to make me angry, he doesn't care what she says, she's still in love with him and so on and so forth. That he was up at the mountain with two of his friends and that everyone else had bailed (everyone who wasn't going in the first place I'm assuming). I also know his ex girlfriend works up at one of the bars up there and just assumed that maybe he went up there to spend it with her. It's a long shot but this is how my mind works, especially after I caught him and he said he didn't care he was going up either way. I could have sworn I was done with this bull after I had asked him where this was going and he said your my girl, that's it. It just seems like something isn't adding up, especially with the hot and cold and then this.

He said we'll have our own Valentines Day when he comes back Tuesday but I still feel ehh. I just have a weird gut feeling that I can't shake.