This Libra

This Libra is a friend of my ex, and began pursuing me 10 months ago. I was hesitant because of the ex issue. Well fast fwd and here we are. i never expected to have such an amazing connection. he seems to feel the same. After our first date he said "I really really like you" and wanted to see me immediately after. I waited a day and saw him next, after our second date, he couldn't stop gushing about how much he likes me. He talks to me everyday- either the whole day, or frequent messages throughout the day. We call each other nicknames already--sweetie, honey, baby. And he's the one always giving me compliments, telling me how much he misses me, cant stop thinking about me, wants to see me. And he decided to take a job closer to where I am partly to be close to me so he can see me whenever i want.

We haven't had sex, i told him i wanted to wait until we had an emotional connection and he just goes along with everything. Honestly he is the sweetest. I said i want to take things slow, he said slow we'll go baby. He 's remarkably patient and willing to wait. He's even opened up to me quite a bit already. And we've experienced such touching intimacy, just lying in bed laughing and talking. I'm wondering is this how fast libras take things? we both decided that we're just dating at the moment so no commitment yet. i mentioned to him that i may date other people and he seemed floored, but he also implied that he might as well. he seems to be moving very fast, and i'm wondering if this is the norm? do libras charm your pants off and lure you with their romance only to end up not being serious? how do you know the libra male is serious and wants to commit?

I am a gemini female btw.

Hi Taste--- i mentioned i might date other people so that he doesn't feel too obligated to follow through. I want him to know that i am not putting any restrictions on him whatsoever. I think this is the beauty in our connection because I accept him totally for who he is regardless of what i may find out. I just feel that connected to him already. I want to give him as much breathing space as possible. I made it clear however that he has my utmost interest at the moment, and that i would be open and honest if i do start dating someone else.

Amethyst, thanks for your replies. This is what i intend by taking it slow so that if either one of us want to back out, then we're free to do so. Although on my part, i don't think i'm going anywhere, and for the record I told the Libra i might date other people, but through experience i have always dated one guy at a time, and this is a guy i really like, so it'll be him only. Buuut, let him think that i will. I don't want him to think I am getting all too serious at this point. ^_^

You are playing with fire and you are going to bet burned. You want to be exclusive with him but you don't want him to think he is that important to you. You are trying to mind fuck him into a state where he thinks you are going to leave any time now cause you are dating someone else too. You don't have to go slow to keep the option of leaving. Dating =/= marriage. Don't send mixed signals like this.

How would you feel if you showed up at his place and some other woman was leaving and they were kissing at the door or whatever? That's what you just told him was okay. That's what you just told him either of you can expect.

You want to chase a Libra away? Tell him you are going to see other people.


Or maybe I'm reading this wrong. Let's see. You've been together for almost a year. Together a lot. You're talking about a lot of intimacy and mental stimulation as well. Pet names. He took a job closer to you. Then you don't want him to think it's too serious so you say you may see other people and he can too. Nope, I read it right. You know why he was floored, because you just told him "I'm not really that into you".

I'm curious, how long ago did you say this to him and how has his behavior changed since?

oohh boy ohh boy. We've been dating for two weeks darlings, but this is totally the one instance i havent been true to myself and i regret it. It sucks! From a libra perspective, he's been cool with not having sex but there is foreplay that we do that without doing that specific act, well he does say how much he misses me and calls me for no reason, asking how i'm doing, how my day was, telling me he misses me alooot and really likes me, but when it comes unto the sexual stuff (i cringe personally because i'm always worried it will just head in that direction--with anyone) but with him, when he mentions sexual stuff i feel weird, even though he says he had no expectations. i asked him to go slow, but he keeps going on about how physically addicted he's getting to me and that he's so lost in our sensual experience. today, he mentioned hair removal because i told him i'm getting laser hair removal there and he just brought it up, which made me feel self conscious because i'm already self conscious about it, and now i feel super irritated because i feel like he's hinting to me that he doesnt accept it. i know u libras are super perfect when it comes unto aesthetics, but now i feel so weird and want to back out because of this. I guess i dont know what i'm asking in a solid question form but any comments??

Posted by Lissanth
oohh boy ohh boy. We've been dating for two weeks darlings, but this is totally the one instance i havent been true to myself and i regret it. It sucks! From a libra perspective, he's been cool with not having sex but there is foreplay that we do that without doing that specific act, well he does say how much he misses me and calls me for no reason, asking how i'm doing, how my day was, telling me he misses me alooot and really likes me, but when it comes unto the sexual stuff (i cringe personally because i'm always worried it will just head in that direction--with anyone) but with him, when he mentions sexual stuff i feel weird, even though he says he had no expectations. i asked him to go slow, but he keeps going on about how physically addicted he's getting to me and that he's so lost in our sensual experience. today, he mentioned hair removal because i told him i'm getting laser hair removal there and he just brought it up, which made me feel self conscious because i'm already self conscious about it, and now i feel super irritated because i feel like he's hinting to me that he doesnt accept it. i know u libras are super perfect when it comes unto aesthetics, but now i feel so weird and want to back out because of this. I guess i dont know what i'm asking in a solid question form but any comments??

What did he say about it that made you feel self conscious?

Well he asked before about it and then today when we were talking about how we cant wait to see each other (which is tomorrow) and all these wonderful things, in the middle of that he blurted out, when's ur next laser session? now, i totally interpreted that as him saying he wants me to be hairless tomorrow. and it would be totally fine if i didnt have a hang up about it 😢 but i have a huuuuuuge hang up about it, and it drives me crazy! so much so, i've just been in an irritable mood all day. I really want him to accept me as i am deep down 😢 and i don't want to feel like i dont measure up in some way. I know his exes and i know the women he likes, and i am attractive, but the hair thing drives me mad! and i feel so bad about it because i dont want to be anxious while we're together, that will totally kill our vibe 😢

Posted by Lissanth
Well he asked before about it and then today when we were talking about how we cant wait to see each other (which is tomorrow) and all these wonderful things, in the middle of that he blurted out, when's ur next laser session? now, i totally interpreted that as him saying he wants me to be hairless tomorrow. and it would be totally fine if i didnt have a hang up about it 😢 but i have a huuuuuuge hang up about it, and it drives me crazy! so much so, i've just been in an irritable mood all day. I really want him to accept me as i am deep down 😢 and i don't want to feel like i dont measure up in some way. I know his exes and i know the women he likes, and i am attractive, but the hair thing drives me mad! and i feel so bad about it because i dont want to be anxious while we're together, that will totally kill our vibe 😢

Or, maybe he's just interested in talking with you about it 'cause it's something that's important to you?!?! Were you wanting to do this on your own or is he pressuring you to do it? Now that I see you've only been dating for 2 weeks, maybe you should consider waiting a little longer to be FULLY intimate with him. Especially if you're having these feelings.

But you know, a trimmer, Skintimate shave gel, and a Venus razor works wonders as well! I've had laser hair removal before (not down there), BUT girl it burns! Ouch.

Oh, and I should say I really hope it works out for you both. :-)

I'm a Gemini and mine is a Libra who was very difficult to figure out at first. I take it one day at a time with him and so far things are working out well. It's an amazing connection unlike anything either of us have ever felt. He said all those things you mentioned above, BUT I did not jump into bed with him. Really, only go there when you feel comfortable in doing so. That vibe you're talking about, if it's right it will be there x 100!!!

JEEZ. Ok forget about the hair issue!! Micha--our connection is amazing. and it's moving very fast. We've been dating officially for 2 weeks but we've known each other for over a year. And it feels so natural to go with the flow with him, but i am holding back on having sex. He keeps saying how connected he is to me, and ohhh my the incredible intimacy when we are together. The way he kisses me tenderly and always wants to hold my hand so utterly beautiful! I just want to know, i've been with virgos and they blow hot and cold. Should i expect a fall in his affectionate, attentive, charming behavior soon? are libras like that?

Posted by Lissanth
JEEZ. Ok forget about the hair issue!! Micha--our connection is amazing. and it's moving very fast. We've been dating officially for 2 weeks but we've known each other for over a year. And it feels so natural to go with the flow with him, but i am holding back on having sex. He keeps saying how connected he is to me, and ohhh my the incredible intimacy when we are together. The way he kisses me tenderly and always wants to hold my hand so utterly beautiful! I just want to know, i've been with virgos and they blow hot and cold. Should i expect a fall in his affectionate, attentive, charming behavior soon? are libras like that?

Yeah, I'm experiencing all that you've mentioned above. It's amazing...wow.
I'll let someone else answer your question. After all, I landed here in an earlier effort to figure mine out.
I don't think I'm the best person to give advice on Libra males. It's been the Libra males/females here helping me with answers to my questions. I can only tell you that mine hasn't fallen off. He is the same way EVERY time I see him.

But, mine had a crush 20 years ago when we were younger and I said no when he asked me out on a date. We just reconnected 8 months ago after all this time. We're both 40 and divorced now so everything is exciting!!!!

All this trippin' is about.. pubic hair? About him asking when your next laser treatment is? (BTW - Libras are MENTAL.. they think about 10,000 things at a time AND they're conversationalists and might just blurt out something totally unrelated to the convo, or only partially related... the key is to NOT ASSUME his REASONS for asking a question.. esp not NOT ASSUME IT'S NEGATIVE. Which clearly you did. tsk tsk A question doesn't HAVE to have an ulterior motive, a deeper meaning. Sometimes it's just making conversation or gathering information.)

Wow.. if you two can't navigate (a question about?) pubic hair... how are you going to deal with the Libra indecision and waffling... the not saying anything potentially "hurtful" to keep the peace, SO non-confrontational it almost borders chicken-shit at times.. even to the point of withholding info or telling little white lies cuz he anticipates a bad reaction from you and can't stand to hurt or anger you.. holding it all back until he finally blows, shocking you cuz you had no idea he felt that way?! How HE never wants to choose anything, would rather YOU did and just goes along with whatever you want... the hot and cold, back and forth.. Wanting to spend HUUUGE amounts of time with you, almost smothering you, then POOF.. pulls back and can't even answer a text? How about the ACTING like you're The One before he's ACTUALLY decided that you are -- and that there's a 95% chance he'll decide you AREN'T after all, and will disappear and leave you heartbroken and baffled cuz everything seemed so PERFECT?! How about the flirting.. OMG these boys flirt with E-VER-Y-BODY.. sometimes without realizing it.. and the double-standard -- YOU aren't allowed to flirt, just cuz he does! How about the way he always wants to be friends/friendly with his exes.. and if the bitch calls cuz she needs his help, he'll take the call and even blow off plans with YOU in order to help the broad who fucked him over 6 months before? How about the way he always wants to be there for you, to help you (and everybody else).. but sometimes his "advice" lacks finesse or an emotional touch and comes across unsympathetic and impatient and HURTFUL.. yet sometimes HE'S oversensitive and overreacts to things that don't make much sense to you? How about the way he THINKS his feelings more than he FEELS them, more in his HEAD than his HEART.. and makes his decisions in spite of his emotions?

You know... it may look like I don't like Libras.. but the truth is, I adore them (Libra in my House VII, FML lol) and have one of my own whom I love very, very much. He's done all of these things, to me or to others.. he's SO Libra it kills me. But I understand Leebs, and most of these things don't bother me like they might bother others.

But I'm not an over-analyzer like YOU, Gem girl with a Cap Moon. I have no ISSUE just letting a relationship flow and develop on its own... I don't have to CONTROL the pace, the flow and ebb, I don't have to have everything I think I want NOW. I don't have to dig for a hidden message in everything he says, looking for some dark, twisted motive. I don't take a single question or statement and obsessively turn it over endlessly in my mind, letting it morph and grow into something bigger than it really is.. and something that doesn't even resemble reality. I can't imagine trippin' over a question he asked me (about my pubes/lasers?) two weeks into dating, when we hadn't even been intimate. But I don't hold back out of fear, or hide behind the Cool Girl facade and pretend nothing's bothering me, cuz that just shuts a woman down emotionally, closes her off from truly connecting to a man, and it backfires when you end up dumped or "let's just be friends" while he moves on to another woman.. I would simply ASK him, "My laser treatments? I feel pressured and uncomfortable about this subject, but I don't want to trip out and make a mountain out of a molehill. So why do you want to know?"

Cuz honey.. if you can't ASK him about something like this.. how are you going to navigate the rest of the relationship? Because there WILL be bigger issues, there WILL be hard times and clashes and personal issues, there WILL be compromises to make... but not on communication, that's an absolute necessity. Without communication, you WON'T survive the rest... and there's an awful lot of REST with Libra guys.. esp ones under about 30 years old!

* physically addicted he's getting to me and that he's so lost in our sensual experience.

He is very into. This happens to Libras and if he is that into you physically you are going to have a hell of a time getting rid of him. 🙂

Don't worry so much about the pubic hair thing. I don't think he was asking to be rude or judgemental or anything. We are kind of like Geminis in the way we are very curious and weird thoughts and ideas pop into our heads and blurt out our mouths, which I think is what happened here.

I think you are very wise to take things slow at a pace you are comfortable with. Slow and steady. Be ware the blowtorcher ... a guy who comes on really strong, really means it, but then freaks out.

I just started dating a Gemini. We are still sorting things out but I like him very much. So far so good.

One thing I have learned about guys is, they are attracted to all sorts of different women. You don't have to be perfect. They see beauty in so many different body types and style s. It is really quite something.

Just go at your own pace. I really don't think you have anything to worry about but starting any new relationship is scary and weird. Good luck! 🙂

Yes, Libras tend to reevaluate.. over and over.. each "step" in a relationship.. each time it reaches the point of going deeper or getting more serious.. reevaluate.. and YES, like I said.. there's a 95% chance it won't work out.. but that's because ANY new relationship has about a 95% chance of failing. MOST relationships fail, especially early on. Sad but true...

But Libra boys get their "heartbreaker" rep not ONLY because their relationships come and go, but because he ACTED LIKE EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT when in fact, he was STILL evalUATING, and probably holding back some "potentially hurtful" thoughts he had about you or things you say or do. Yes, it would be EASIER on us if these boys weren't so in love with the idea of love that they throw themselves into it headlong, sucking you in and dragging you into love, if their actions actually KEPT PACE with their slower (evaluating) thoughts.. or if they'd just SPEAK UP and say, "I don't like this or that.." and work out a compromise long before it becomes some HUGE issue underneath... but usually they can't, so they don't. They don't like to make waves.. they don't like to HURT their love.. they weigh and balance in spite of their emotions.. which means that even if he LOVES you, if he's decided you're better off apart, emotion WON'T change his mind - not even his feelings, much less YOURS! But that's ALSO why he still STAYS and REevalUATES, even when he's feeling twisted up and confused emotionally and thinking about ending it.. he wants to do the right thing, the best thing, so he will "ignore" certain feelings he has in order to hold on long enough to make the best choice he possibly can.

Most Libra guys aren't the ones that do the actual breaking up (not counting their many "2 wk flings" that fizzle and die before they're actually developed into a relationship.. talking about the ones who MAKE IT to actual relationship).. usually the women break up with the Libra.. and I'm not just talking about the crazy bitches.. even nice, normal, loving girls can get fed up with the ways of a Libra, and just jump off the crazy ride.

Posted by LibraLuv
"Happy birthday baby I love you, we're outta bread."

LMAO...Now that sounds like something I would say...Hahaha

I'm still reading all this advice...it sure helps!!!

Talk about randomness -
put a Gemini and a Libra together and the conversation is so damn random you both end up laughing hysterically and forget what you were laughing about. True.