Trying to understand Libra guys ignoring act

Hi, i've met this libra guy he is a close friend of one of my close friends, we became intimate and he lives in another city after talking and flirting a while he asked if i would like to visit him i made up excuses he insisted so i decided to go. I stayed at his place, we had a great time, he acts like i am so special he was caring and very romantic, never rushed to have sex and so on, after i return back home 1 day no communicatin and next day i just texted him said "hi" but no replies in return even he knows i know he saw my text. I got so angry but did nothing ( no further calls or texting) i know i will not reply him if he would call or text but what the hells happening why he turned so cold i am just wondering? i am an aries btw.

One night stand, dear.

i guess so! i think i didnt realized and expected more bcs i stayed almost for a week and it felt like we have started a new, good relationship. Thats why i am so pissed after all.

This was exactly my start with Libra too 😢 I was doing big efforts to keep the relationship longer, but always with come back and off from his side .... Nobody can understand them , but all Libra acting like this. This is a sad thing about them. If you ask here, everyone has this identic story about disappeared act 😢 . Mine, most long disappeared 6 months without a word, without a call or text, changing his phone number ( or Cancel the number I knew) and this after a great time ( same as you in other city, and same insisting to ask me go there , same as you). I back from there, after a great , great time ( it was the 3th times we met, but he also disappeared the same after the first time , but that was something different because I found him with a lie ) and the same, no any answer to texts, calls or anything else I tried to understand what happened . You know is normal for everyone to think maybe something happened with him and it took me a while to understand that nothing was happened with him in fact... The reasons are many in their Libra mind : they think if is worth or not this relationship with you, they need space to figure things out , or the bad, they look around for other options... and come back to you again when they fail... knowing that you are waiting an answer from them to all this situation and they find easy "reasons" of what happened in this time or what they did ( lies in special) to can approach you again. The disappearing act is repetitive to them. This is not the single time he will do this . Better stop any contact now and do not worry anything, he is fine, you have to take care of you and do not expecting anything further, because as you see from now, is not worth to wasting time with peoples like him.

When everything is great and wonderful, a Libra man will leave you without a word or something to understand why , this is the most horrible thing that can happen. 😢 So better avoid him and when he come back, tell him straight that you are not only his "variant" in case he fail with others. Is not worth ! 1 week spent together is painful to end up like this. But I read stories about a life spent together with Libra and ended up in the same way , without any word, so I am not wonder 😢

Sorry to hear that you've been throught the same and thanks for the reply Delia. Actually he's just sent a text saying he is sorry and was too busy with a long explanation and contiuned to chat as if nothing happened. So -as an aries myself- i told him directly and politly that i believe he is busy but if he doesnt want to break peoples heart he should be direct and say we had a good time and he is not intrested anymore thats more proper and he said he didnt mean that and sorry again. But believe me i know he is not sincere and saying these just doesnt want to be the bad guy and i am 100% sure that he has a new and shiny thing to give his attention to.

Posted by fayevalentine
Sorry to hear that you've been throught the same and thanks for the reply Delia. Actually he's just sent a text saying he is sorry and was too busy with a long explanation and contiuned to chat as if nothing happened. So -as an aries myself- i told him directly and politly that i believe he is busy but if he doesnt want to break peoples heart he should be direct and say we had a good time and he is not intrested anymore thats more proper and he said he didnt mean that and sorry again. But believe me i know he is not sincere and saying these just doesnt want to be the bad guy and i am 100% sure that he has a new and shiny thing to give his attention to.

Yes, this is all his excuses . But, if he texted to you with saying he was busy and bla bla, but he is talking the same as nothing was happened ( if you refer to "nothing what happened" for the time he was absent ), he may needed this time to think about you and now maybe he come back positive thinking you are worth for him and want to continue. I HOPE THIS TO BE ! because if is not this, then it is your variant which is means , he back to you now, but consider you as a variant and in the time he was absent, he did things just to make himself happy ( no matter what) and he did not cared about you in this time, how you feel or something.
All Libra man start very nice and end very bad.... I still can't believe what mine was capable to do in all this 3-4 years since I now him , in special the end which was tragic, to say ... with a horrible action . I really can't believe this is him, the sweet one I met first time and instantly fall in love of him and I felt the feelings are the same from his side too that time... The sweet one who was talking day and night with me , sometimes even asking his boss to let him go home... for what ? to open the webcam to see me and to tell me how much he misses me..... and many things like this ..... Now looking at his actions, I am wonder where is that sweetness from him ? All vanished.... and his actions was horrible in the last time... 😢

Is good you told him clear and directly this. I also think the same, you have time for a message , no matter what busy you are , because there is break time also for dinner, for lunch, for going to bed and before to sleep or doing all this things, you can text , right ? is only take 1 min , so no excuses ! Do not

I suggest you, now before you fall for him more, look around also and make a back up for you, I mean find someone else to talk and see how that person is and keep Libra around too, see how things go on, but in case he hurt you with something else, to have easy where to move on . Because being alone , is hard to find another one once he hurt you. Be ready for anything possible. The most important thing : look always at his actions, not at his words. If there is not any action to be closer, then is not worth at all. I tried all my best to do everything to be with him, I wanted to move in his city, but he never asked me to do it, and so, you can't take a decision only by yourself if you want be a couple. Some friends told me to move there and later to tell him, but tis is a wrong decision, because he will think you manipulate him and he will no want to meet you while you are there . I did not done this thing . I consider a couple , if I a couple must take decisions together . If you are alone, you can do what you want, but not when you are intending to be with someone. If you see nothing come from him , but only from you, just move on to save your time ! I lost much time trying to do everything to be ok, but he did nothing.

Thanks for the advices, i am thinking of doing the same too and keep myself busy with something and/or someone else as usual. As you said about the actions, i will not be reliefed until i see an action tells that he is interested not the words ( do not expect btw as i said before i think he was just being polite).

By "nothing happened" i meant, after he said sorry he continued to chat about weather or so and if he would be into me he should have said that he missed me or something like that thats why i dont believe he is sincere and he is interested in someone else and just trying to be polite.

Yes. In this time of 1 week while you was living in his place, did he asked you if you want move to his city ? if you would like living there or something ? If he didn't asked you, this is a first sign that he is not taking things in serious. He may ask you this, not with the marriage intention , because anyway is too early for talk about this , but with the intention to be close by him there. I want to tell you that, mine, told me from the first time we meet that he wants we marry and now he is the same who said always that he no want to marry again ! and he want be free , no like to marry again ( he was married before).... So, never look their words, look their actions.
Is hard , in special from distance, it take all your energy and as he is so flirting , he may easy find other one , who may happen get pregnant and then , you are at distance, trying to make things works, while he is there , and will try to find always reasons to be " polite" with you , but never to tell you the truth........ Please take good care of yourself ! You can ask him what's your plans for near future with about us ? is a simple question and see what he say.

Posted by fayevalentine
By "nothing happened" i meant, after he said sorry he continued to chat about weather or so and if he would be into me he should have said that he missed me or something like that thats why i dont believe he is sincere and he is interested in someone else and just trying to be polite.

Wow, this means he used this time for something else and made his mind already ( possible) and was thinking to take you as a friend ( or open option as I call it) .
You know something ? Mine always appeared back saying " I miss you " and " I love you " , but did I see this ? no ... his actions show me the things are exchange........ If you miss a person, you go to see her, do all your best , not only say " I miss you, but no time " , " I miss you, hope you have a good life" and things like this that make you crazy to hear this.... The last one " I miss you , hope you have a good life " was coming after he told me he don't want to marry again .... Then appeared back after a while saying again " I miss you " , " I want to see you, but no want marry " or " Please don't let me marry again ! " , just like he was afraid of himself that he is doing this step with me if he meet me again , because first time when we met, was a very strong attraction for both of us and he is afraid he will commit if he meet me again ? Is crazy.... really hard to understand them...

haha i think you are really an expert and mind reader i guess but of course sorry for gaining that experience with going through the stuff you told. Yes he asked that but i am seeking a job so he said if i would be interested to seek in his city but another example we were outside having dinner i asked him "so, when will you come to my city" he said that it is impossible by referring his busy job and it was that answer when i started think "guess he's not so into me as i assume" And yes, i was thinking of asking directly what are we doing and tell him that if we will not be exclusive i have no time to waste but since we had talked today i dont want to be clingly and seem emotianelly weak so i guess i will wait a little

🙂, well, exactly 100% identic this was my Libra answer too : is impossible for me to come to your city because of my work ( he is policeman, so I believed no has much time) , but he can be the president of the country, if he is missing you, he must come to see you, no matter how busy he is. Take a day off for you , anyone can take a day off or 2 days.
I was also looking for a job in his city, but there are not many possibilities for foreigner, I am in his country, so is quit difficult for me t get a job by myself and also he never said he will help me find a job ( as a policeman he may have many relationships about jobs ) . What to say, at beginning, he even said he can take care of me , we can live together and so many things..... later on, all this was like he did not said them , means words are words, actions are 0.
Other thing, from distance is hard to see if he is married also or is single. Take care and pay much attention on this things too. If you met his family, that is good thing, but if you did not met his friends and family, if he hesitate to introduce you to them, there may be things you don't know and he can't talk about them . I told you, from distance, is need a long time to investigate everything 🙂 If things go well and he is into you ( showing actions) , you can move to his city, but ask him again if he would like you move there and what his plans about you two are . Also tell him you are not going to be friends only, make things clear from start , but with caution, because Libra is very easy lose his balance . Do not force things, but also do not let things only in the fate's hand. 🙂

You know i had 2 years relationship with another Libra just like yours first he chased me hard and at the beginning he was dying to marry me bur when i fell for him completely made him the center of my life he backed off and starting to say he will never marry as he never mentioned it first and then he broke up. Good thing was i have been stronger because of him he is a friend now but i am not willing to put up with same shit all over again as you said they are unpredictable and hard to understand no realiton should be so hard.

Is possible we are too possessive and we can't see this ? 🙂 They think then if we make them the centre of our life, as you say , they think in marriage they will have no any freedom. I guess this is why they have this reaction. But I am a quite open minted person and if love someone, that does not mean I take his freedom, I even told him this things, but there can be also things that has not any connection with you, but with their past. As in mine's case with his past marriage, he always said his ex wife treated him very bad ( I am also no wonder if he reacted with her as with me 🙂 ) so this may be a fear for them .
Libra dislike be too emotional. They consider the emotions must play a role at beginning, then they become cool /cold most of the time. When they need you , they come back again hot , then climate change again in cool/cold. I personally, dislike this change in emotions. I like stabile person. Is like you sleep in the bed with a warm man, lovely, and in the next morning he is sleeping with his back to you and also don't talk to you 🙂 haha !

_— exactly !! As i have observed libras like to chase but if they feel they caught you, they back off and disappear, if you are seeking something stable and peaceful this game is really exhausting.

Yes ! True ! They are hard to make their mind to take a decision for future, this is why they step back when you are waiting an answer from them about this. Their role is only to take all your attention , but not for long time, do not bother them too much, just at beginning, then "Next !" on their list must enter in their life ... This is the things I hate about them. Then if the one who is the "Next" is not ok, he back to you and so on..... If he is into you, he can commit very soon, I read stories that happened even in one week or one month , no need wait . If they are not into you, then they become up and down all the time.
See you tomorrow ! 🙂 is night here 🙂 I go to sleep now , take care !

Posted by fayevalentine
i guess so! i think i didnt realized and expected more bcs i stayed almost for a week and it felt like we have started a new, good relationship. Thats why i am so pissed after all.

Yeah, they tend to be good at making you think something more is developing, when it really isn't. In their eyes, anyway...

I am really confused bcs i asked where we are and he said he needs time to think i dont know if he's being indecisive as in his nature or just putting me off i also told that of course you can have time to decide but i cant promise you if i would feel the same when you finally decide. I dont know if i gave the right reaction but i feel that way i dont want anybody to waste my time i am writing here and waiting for answers it is clearly keeping my mind busy and wasting my time 😢

Yes i know, thanks for the reply 🙂 I know i sound negative and pushy even if i dont want to but i have to be direct and honest, it doestn work for me in any other way so if it doesnt meant to be it doesnt meant to be nothing to do about that at least i tried.

Posted by fayevalentine
I am really confused bcs i asked where we are and he said he needs time to think i dont know if he's being indecisive as in his nature or just putting me off i also told that of course you can have time to decide but i cant promise you if i would feel the same when you finally decide. I dont know if i gave the right reaction but i feel that way i dont want anybody to waste my time i am writing here and waiting for answers it is clearly keeping my mind busy and wasting my time 😢

ew. that's cold. i mean, i wouldn't blame you for not hanging around but jesus, you don't have to say it.

Posted by fayevalentine
I am really confused bcs i asked where we are and he said he needs time to think i dont know if he's being indecisive as in his nature or just putting me off i also told that of course you can have time to decide but i cant promise you if i would feel the same when you finally decide. I dont know if i gave the right reaction but i feel that way i dont want anybody to waste my time i am writing here and waiting for answers it is clearly keeping my mind busy and wasting my time 😢

"I need time" = "I wasn't really considering this to begin with so I'm going to evade answering and just pretend I'm contemplating it. It also translates into "I'm not that into you." If a guy wanted to be with you, he wouldn't "need time."

In short, he's full of shit.

Posted by jeane

Posted by fayevalentine
I am really confused bcs i asked where we are and he said he needs time to think i dont know if he's being indecisive as in his nature or just putting me off i also told that of course you can have time to decide but i cant promise you if i would feel the same when you finally decide. I dont know if i gave the right reaction but i feel that way i dont want anybody to waste my time i am writing here and waiting for answers it is clearly keeping my mind busy and wasting my time 😢

ew. that's cold. i mean, i wouldn't blame you for not hanging around but jesus, you don't have to say it.

click to expand

Sure she does. He could have NOT spent a week leading her to believe that there was something more developing when there really wasn't. When she asked about it, he could have NOT said "I have to think about it" which translates into "I really don't like you THAT much, just liked you enough to stick my dick inside of you temporarily."


Dudes like this need to be called out on their shit asap and it's sad that you think she's being mean by protecting herself from his shitty behavior.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by jeane

Posted by fayevalentine
I am really confused bcs i asked where we are and he said he needs time to think i dont know if he's being indecisive as in his nature or just putting me off i also told that of course you can have time to decide but i cant promise you if i would feel the same when you finally decide. I dont know if i gave the right reaction but i feel that way i dont want anybody to waste my time i am writing here and waiting for answers it is clearly keeping my mind busy and wasting my time 😢

ew. that's cold. i mean, i wouldn't blame you for not hanging around but jesus, you don't have to say it.

Sure she does. He could have NOT spent a week leading her to believe that there was something more developing when there really wasn't. When she asked about it, he could have NOT said "I have to think about it" which translates into "I really don't like you THAT much, just liked you enough to stick my dick inside of you temporarily."


Dudes like this need to be called out on their shit asap and it's sad that you think she's being mean by protecting herself from his shitty behavior.

click to expand

you don't know any of this. he could actually be thinking about it. there could be something more developing.

i think it is sad you are so bitter about men. not every guy is a complete and utter bastard. some are just trying to find their way too.

she should protect herself but you know, giving someone the chance to surprise you don't cost anything either.

Honey, I'm not bitter. You're a moron if you think I'm bitter. I think it's sad that you're all about false hope and misleading some of the women here when they obviously shouldn't be caught up on a guy's questionable behavior.

I've grown up with guy friends and I have a lot of guy friends currently. They're the ones who I go to first when confused about a guy and THIS is what they respond with.

It doesn't matter what I do and don't know. If a guy and a girl hook up without much discussion of what's really going on, and she brings up "the question," only for him to get weird and non direct, chances are he's not looking for anything serious and just wanted to fuck around because it was fun at the time.

If he comes around and decides he wants something more, so be it and yay for her. But we need to stop encouraging women to stick around with these shitty guys. A majority of the women who come to DXP are all telling the same story about the same shitty guy behavior. It's why it's become so easy to peg the usual bs on these guys. We need more encouraging women to not tolerate being treated poorly or expected to stick around as an option and less false hope and making up fairy tale scenarios of the poor, wounded, soul that needs some understanding!!!

Posted by fayevalentine
I am really confused bcs i asked where we are and he said he needs time to think i dont know if he's being indecisive as in his nature or just putting me off i also told that of course you can have time to decide but i cant promise you if i would feel the same when you finally decide. I dont know if i gave the right reaction but i feel that way i dont want anybody to waste my time i am writing here and waiting for answers it is clearly keeping my mind busy and wasting my time 😢

Hm... better you should let him for a while , then you can open this subject , but you made the things too fast . Should not ask him now, after his disappeared act. You know... because he feel you push him to take a decision just because you want. And second, should not tell him that you don't know if you are available at that time when he will take the decision , because in this way, you don't show to him you are loyal 🙂 Is sound like he say " I am going in a business trip , see you when I am back " and you will say " I am not sure if I will be here for you when you will be back to not wasting my time " 🙂 Understand ? What you think , I mean this part with " I am not sure ....." should not tell him, just keep it for yourself , when he said that, you should say something like " OK, as you wish, if that is your choice , is up to you " . In this way, he would focus more on himself , is really that his choice or not ? how he can choice this ? is right or not what he choice ? ( I mean for thinking about the time he said he need to decide ) and the answer can come quickly back than you expecting. I used to tell my Libra this reply " ok, is if that is your choice , up to you " and was never passed long time to answer to a question what I was need to know , because they can't can't take decisions easy, they can say something now and the next days to regret it and then back again to you and so on. They need support to take a decision . Anyway, to repair a little the things, you an continue to talk with him for a while as fiends , make him laughing with jokes, with something nice and keep little cool also. Anyway, his here is not only your fault, his answer also was not the right one , it sound again polite answer , maybe he can't make his mind yet after this week and you forced him to be too directly now , but keep a conversation as friends for a while and don't s

and don't say anything emotional again. See how things go further from his side 🙂 Make yourself also busy , don't make him ( again 🙂 ) the centre of all your attention and life 🙂

I also want to tell you, DO NOT REGRET THAT WEEK ! You was happy while spent that time with him , right ? You was both happy I think, other way, a man who does not likes you , will not keep you in his house for a week . If he really wants only to have you in the bed, he would not invite you in his home , he would ask you to stay to a hotel ( for a man , there can be 100 reasons to tells you that he can't meet you at his home if he really is not serious ) , so don't take anything tragic now. Don't regret this week. Take it as something beautiful and nice memory in case he will not come up with his decision. Maybe he is very sincere, maybe he really need this time to think about it. Maybe in his life are other problems also and he must think how to deal with all and with you too.
Just give him some time and keep as friends now, but don't show him you are sorry for something . Be yourself, be normal. Libra men almost all ( or really all of them) can't decide "right now " . Libra in special need his time to meditate and think and put together all the things.
But this does not mean you should just waiting . Live your life further and things can come nice when you are not expecting this.
You can be nice now, and do not expecting anything further from him. Can talk to him without waiting an answer , for example just say " hi , is a nice day today " or things like this , but without question. Take care and I really wish everything will be happy in your case 🙂

Keep something in your mind : reading answers on a forum, you will make yourself more confuse , not because the people's fault or anger or any other reason they say things here , but because everyone of us think different . Nobody can think the same as you, nobody can think the same as me or others from this forum, we are all different and also we spread different energy , depending of many things, our moods, etc... Is our right to think by our own , this is from own nature . You can't make a Libra think as you , because he will never think as you. But also you can't make a peoples ( be any sign)think as you , because we are all different . Read the advices here, make an idea, but listen your gout and heart. They are the most sure guide for everyone. And let the time to decide .
Now we talk here all, we are all in life's moment, but this moment will be the past after 5 years . You will read again what you said now here by then and you will see things different by then. No matter what, everything pass. There is a good word and best for now : just let it go, if it will be back to you, it was always yours, if it will not be back, it was never yours 🙂

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Honey, I'm not bitter. You're a moron if you think I'm bitter. I think it's sad that you're all about false hope and misleading some of the women here when they obviously shouldn't be caught up on a guy's questionable behavior.

I've grown up with guy friends and I have a lot of guy friends currently. They're the ones who I go to first when confused about a guy and THIS is what they respond with.

It doesn't matter what I do and don't know. If a guy and a girl hook up without much discussion of what's really going on, and she brings up "the question," only for him to get weird and non direct, chances are he's not looking for anything serious and just wanted to fuck around because it was fun at the time.

If he comes around and decides he wants something more, so be it and yay for her. But we need to stop encouraging women to stick around with these shitty guys. A majority of the women who come to DXP are all telling the same story about the same shitty guy behavior. It's why it's become so easy to peg the usual bs on these guys. We need more encouraging women to not tolerate being treated poorly or expected to stick around as an option and less false hope and making up fairy tale scenarios of the poor, wounded, soul that needs some understanding!!!

i never said stick around.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by rockyroadicecream

I've grown up with guy friends and I have a lot of guy friends currently.

Love it when women advice gurus roll out this old line.

Look no matter how hard you try you'll never know what it's like.

click to expand

what do you mean tiz??! some of my best friends are black/gay/male/vulcan! 😉

Posted by jeane

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Honey, I'm not bitter. You're a moron if you think I'm bitter. I think it's sad that you're all about false hope and misleading some of the women here when they obviously shouldn't be caught up on a guy's questionable behavior.

I've grown up with guy friends and I have a lot of guy friends currently. They're the ones who I go to first when confused about a guy and THIS is what they respond with.

It doesn't matter what I do and don't know. If a guy and a girl hook up without much discussion of what's really going on, and she brings up "the question," only for him to get weird and non direct, chances are he's not looking for anything serious and just wanted to fuck around because it was fun at the time.

If he comes around and decides he wants something more, so be it and yay for her. But we need to stop encouraging women to stick around with these shitty guys. A majority of the women who come to DXP are all telling the same story about the same shitty guy behavior. It's why it's become so easy to peg the usual bs on these guys. We need more encouraging women to not tolerate being treated poorly or expected to stick around as an option and less false hope and making up fairy tale scenarios of the poor, wounded, soul that needs some understanding!!!

i never said stick around.

click to expand

This is a opinion from a girl who have many guys friends, but I think, not any guy will tell you exactly what he is thinking , even if is your friend . This is from the man's Ego. No man open his hided thinking to a woman, no matter how good friends they are, so there are things Rockie hears from her male friends , but for sure they did not told her their deep thinking . Only male to male can say that.