When Libras Indulge......

First off, Greetings everyone! I just want to say that I am a brand new addition to DXPNet as far as being a member. I have, to the contrary, been a lurker for many many months. So anyway, hello everyone 🙂. I just thought it more polite if I gave a formal greeting before jumping right in to my topic... Now on with it lol....

I've heardfrom many different sources that Libras are "people pleasers" although I find this to be >somewhat< true I do not like that particular choice of words. People pleasers makes it seem more like pushovers and yes men. I know Libras...fairly well having been with my libra love for quite some time now so I know that this is not true. You guys are FAR from pushovers. In fact, you can be some of the most stubborn and rigid emm efferzzz of the zodiac lol. But, on the flip side (and I can only speak according to my own hubby I can't speak on them all so please tell me if I'm wrong) it would seem like you Libras (he) tend to go out of your way to make others happy just to kinda keep everything peaceful.... For example I've watched my libra man bend over backwards for some ppl never truly thinking of himself or how he feels about it. I've seen him do this with many ppl, his mom his family and most of all his ex that he was with a few years back on and off before me who is also his childs mother....

Now with all that being said, he does that whole 'okay I'll do this for you if only you promise to shut the f*ck up' thing with everybody EXCEPT FOR ME!? When it comes to me he sort of indulges. He loves to get his way with me and idk exactly how I feel about that.... He's more assertive with me then he was in his previous relationships and he likes to play the "boss" lol. For example, my libra guy is not a social butter fly at all, in fact just the opposite. He's like a freaking dungeon dragon and HATES to go anywhere. I on the otherhand like to go out sometimes but he's just so stubborn I give up. He went places with his ex, even tho he didn't like it but I have to damn near beg him just to get him to even consider it.

And the same goes for the bedroom! Lol Don't get me wrong hes no slacker and he's very good at what he does WHEN HE ACTUALLY DOES SOMETHING lol. I have a very special talent (blushing) that I showed him some 2years ago when we first got together and he loves it so much that he ,again, INDULGES and makes me do all the work. The list gets a little longer lol he's just so stubborn and forceful with me and I wonder why

mes.... It makes me feel some type of way sometimes I won't lie... Sometimes I find myself thinking maybe I'm not as special to him as others before me were... Other times I feel like maybe this is a good thing in a way, maybe it shows that he finds complete happiness with me and doesn't give me those bullshit ass favors like he did with others... Maybe his indulgence is a good thing, or maybe he just has selfish ass hold tendencies that need to be dealt with! Sighh... I just don't know. Can any of you other Libras explain this behavior to me?.

well, don't cappy girls like guys who act like that?

the libra approach is to individuals. It's unlikely that it's got anything to do with how much he likes you.

also, we are pretty selfish. You have to be selfish too. Be honest about what you want.

Oh Amy, you're looking rather beautiful...going somewhere special??New beau 😉


I know exactly what you are talking about here OP, I get like that too bending over backwards to help out others, friends mostly, and even going without so that they can have but then I am short and direct, even mean to my closest family members. I find it's because I'm tired, it's draining being nice all the time. My cancer daughter keeps me in check though, she takes so much and then she tells me straight and tells me exactly the way I am acting.. It's not received well at first but after I've had a think about it I always apologise.

Personally I think you should just bring his behaviour up to his attention and tell him how it makes you feel...then leave him to think about it himself.

Not sure about the sex thing though...never had a problem even when I was married for years!

You also need to put a bomb under him to take you out...he's nesting and getting lazy and that's all you will get once he makes himself comfortable doing nothing...that;s the life you are going to have and if you want more, you better do something about it. It helps to find a couple or two that you both have things in common with maybe even befriend one of his mates partner.

I don't have much to add to the advice given.. and yes, Libras WILL get lazy, if you let them. Mine sits around plenty.. works hard, plays hard, RELAXES HARD! We aren't major social butterflies (getting old haha) and stay in a lot. If I feel restless, I say so and tell him I'd really like to go out tonight, and would love to have my favorite guy on my arm. (But yes, we DO occasionally go out with our friends, Guy's Night or Girl's Night.. or with separate friends and maybe meet up later.) Also, I wonder if your Libra has a Libra Mars too? It's said to give them a rather low sex drive... I know MY Libra with his Libra Mars doesn't have MY sex drive.. but that might just be my age too. So mostly, we pace it according to his lower drive.. but we make sure it's always fabulous.. quality over quantity!

Hey sweethearts.. http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=2447770&p=24>Click here and at the bottom of Page 24 is where TV started asking Amethyst how to say her name... and that was the birth of Ame's new avatar *grin*

Thanks Nef, I followed it a aPP last night but didn't see the toenails til now 🙂

First, I am very happy when I see people who understand that our kindness doesn't mean weakness. I warn about that alot. I let a lot of things slide but I'm not a pushover. It's my choice and if you start pushing I WILL push back... and I'm stronger 😛

For your sanity, don't compare yourself to his ex. Good or bad. If nothing else just for the simple fact that it is his ex. There's no need.

As for the going out of his way to help friends and family. I do it too. If a friend calls and needs a place to stay for a while, my house is always open. Need help moving, no problem. Whatever it is, I am there for my friends and family and they are always there for me. Little inconveniences don't really matter. The other side of this is sometimes I run myself ragged and need to just crash for a bit.

I completely agree with sweethearts though, if you let him get comfortable in this routine it is what he'll stick to. I am very much a creature of habit. I am still a people pleaser though especially to the person I am in a relationship with. Does he know how you feel about this stuff? The first step to this would be a calm conversation. Don't attack him with "you lazy bastard" stuff. Tell him your preferences or suggest that you do something specific together. Tell him what you like.

Posted by amethyst2002
Lazy/not uber active in the sack?

...that EXISTS? *gasp*

Haha to kinda clear that up, he's not necessarily lazy, he knows what he's capable of and KNOWS that I know it so when he does his full potential its something like a treat for me lol.. Other times tho (especially after an argument) I might say something like babe can you do this for me and hell be like NOpe, You dont deserve it. ? ctfu

As far as Sweethearts and Nefer's responses go tho, your absolutely right. I have noticed that hes very habitual. What I let him get away with without a whine he CONTINUES to do just that. He's very used to me letting him get his way. But you know what, in his defense I have mentioned this before and when I did he defended his point of view (of course) lol but he also budged ever so slightly. I believe he felt bad. hehe

Posted by aquagirl24

Posted by curious visitor
well, don't cappy girls like guys who act like that?

the libra approach is to individuals. It's unlikely that it's got anything to do with how much he likes you.

also, we are pretty selfish. You have to be selfish too. Be honest about what you want.

well, don't cappy girls like guys who act like that? define cappy girls, did she say so— no, she didn't so i suppose it's irrelevant for you to know.

the libra approach is to individuals. It's unlikely that it's got anything to do with how much he likes you. >>> contradiction. if his approach is to individuals then how does he measure this "approach"? by how much he likes/dislikes someone? your objectivity is subjective. (with subjective i mean proper of a stupid person just like you)

also, we are pretty selfish. You have to be selfish too. Be honest about what you want. why she HAS TO BE selfish? just because you are— doesn't make sense.

click to expand

1 I assumed she was a cap bc of he username.

2 by approaching people as individuals, I mean we get an idea of what someone is all about, and vary how we behave towards them bases on who they are.

3 she has to be selfish if she wants to have her way. Can't just give him his way and expect him to return the favor. He will only do so if he has to.

do you have aspergers? You seem to not understand figurative language.

you are clearly not compatible with libras. I'm so very sorry if things didn't work out with one, but it isn't his fault. You just aren't right for each other.

also, libras don't believe in the virgin/whore axis. We think sex is beautiful and natural, and spiritual, and all sorts of fun things aquas usually don't. If you think it's dirty, that's on you. If you think you are a good girl cos you hate sex, that's your choice. Plenty of guys would love to have a crazy prude as a wife, while he fucks bad girls on the side. Libras aren't like that. Sorry. (this is based on what you said in another thread). You clearly do not understand us at all. Go away. Have some dignity.

Thank you Curious Visitor, now as far as number three on your last post goes: That really surprises me to hear. But I believe that you are correct. It just hurts cause I'm not a naturally selfish person and I thought that we could both see that.

Funny thing tho, he has this tendency to call me all the things that he is (like selfish) seems almost like at times hes blind to his own flaws...