Oh Amy, you're looking rather beautiful...going somewhere special??New beau
I know exactly what you are talking about here OP, I get like that too bending over backwards to help out others, friends mostly, and even going without so that they can have but then I am short and direct, even mean to my closest family members. I find it's because I'm tired, it's draining being nice all the time. My cancer daughter keeps me in check though, she takes so much and then she tells me straight and tells me exactly the way I am acting.. It's not received well at first but after I've had a think about it I always apologise.
Personally I think you should just bring his behaviour up to his attention and tell him how it makes you feel...then leave him to think about it himself.
Not sure about the sex thing though...never had a problem even when I was married for years!
You also need to put a bomb under him to take you out...he's nesting and getting lazy and that's all you will get once he makes himself comfortable doing nothing...that;s the life you are going to have and if you want more, you better do something about it. It helps to find a couple or two that you both have things in common with maybe even befriend one of his mates partner.